This mom’s video is exhausting to watch, but her message will touch your heart
Exhaustion and parenthood go hand-in-hand. It’s no mystery — if you have little ones, you are probably not getting your best night’s sleep every single night and waking up fully refreshed. One mom’s recent Instagram post highlighting what a typical night of “sleep” looks like for herself and her own babies is something we can all relate to.
Melanie Darnell, a mother of three, doesn’t get much rest at night — raise your hand if you can relate. We all know moms (and dads) are tired AF every day and we know why. But seeing it in this way is truly impactful.
Parenting doesn’t end when the sun goes down. 🌙 I want to parent at night the same way I parent during the day. You have two nighttime parenting goals (1) get sufficient rest yourself and (2) meet the nutritional and emotional needs of your child. It’s a tough balance. Realizing that the last sweet hours of restful darkness are almost over. The 4am wake-up call is especially excruciating. Still, we haul ourselves out of bed, and with bleary eyes pull our babies in close . In those quiet, dark hours, the lack of distraction can actually quite calming and refreshing. Baby’s needs tend to be simple: to be held and fed 🤱🏻. Mothers are experts at both of those things, and the ability to so completely meet the needs of our amazing baby is profoundly satisfying. During these moments let’s think of all of the other parents that are up with their babies at the very same middle-of-the night moment and take comfort in the thought of each of us cradling our babies in the dark of our homes, together in shared experience. Rather than feeling isolated and exhausted, we can feel connected to the other tired mothers that are also awake #momsunited. . So, to all of the tired mothers out there, breathe in and breathe out. These days are intense but short lived. Both you and baby will be sleeping more soundly before long. For now, cuddle your babies, nurse them and love them no matter what time the clock says. The baby you rock tonight someday may have the opportunity to be gazing at the stars while holding a sweet baby of her own. She will be thinking of, and appreciating, you ❤️. . Full video www.youtube.com/fitmomma #attachmentparenting #caughtoncamera #parenting #momlife #nighttimeparenting #gentleparenting #tiredmom #momof3 #onshrooms #cosleeping #foursigmatic @nest @todayshow @scarymommy @goodmorningamerica @theellenshow @ellentube @theviewabc @huffpostparents @popsugar #ellen15
“Parenting doesn’t end when the sun goes down,” Darnell writes. “I want to parent at night the same way I parent during the day.” Most parents have two nighttime goals: getting enough rest for themselves and to simultaneously meet the needs of their kids. A seemingly impossible task, but still one we set out for ourselves, sleepless night after sleepless night.
“The 4 a.m. wake-up call is especially excruciating,” she says. “Still, we haul ourselves out of bed, and with bleary eyes pull our babies in close.”
Little kids and big emotions. Today was a tough day, but that’s ok. Husband is out of town and I’m 2 days in the life of solo parenting. Some days are definitely easier than others. Last night was rough with Milo’s sleep, which started my day on a tired note. Miss Olive was dealing with a lot of big emotions today 😭 which required extra love and patience and Sage was high energy. Lots of deep breaths and I’m beyond grateful to have my sister get in town today from AZ @sweetswifty ❤️ None of us were born knowing how to control big emotions and our children will take a while to learn. This is okay – time is something they have plenty of. In the meantime, the job for us as the adults in their lives who care about them, is to nurture their ability to manage their emotional responses in healthy, adaptive ways. Everyday has a sunny moment ☀️, something that made you feel happy, grateful or proud; a stormy part 🌧, something that made you feel sad, mad or frustrated and leaves you with something you are looking forward too 🌈. Feelings can be uncomfortable but feelings are the way into our hearts ♥️, and opening our hearts is the first step to understanding ourselves, cultivating empathy and compassion. #momlife #momof3 #mumof3 #gentleparenting #positiveparenting #respectiveparenting #bedtimeroutine
Darnell, a popular mom blogger, is seen tossing and turning with her infant in her bed in the middle of the night. Soon enough, her toddler joins them. It’s an endless shuffle of switching positions, baby leg jabs, and comforting embraces — none of which looks particularly restful, but it’s not all bad.
Momma of 3… who else needs a weekend to recover from your weekend 😝🙋🏻♀️ we had a very eventful and fun last few days… but by Sunday night this momma is exhausted. Here’s to dreams of a full night sleep to kickstart Monday morning 🍵 💤 I hope you had a weekend!! #threeanddone #momof3 #mumof3 #veganfam #vegankids #fitmom #3under4 #fitmomma
“In those quiet, dark hours, the lack of distraction can actually quite calming and refreshing,” she says. “Baby’s needs tend to be simple: to be held and fed. Mothers are experts at both of those things, and the ability to so completely meet the needs of our amazing baby is profoundly satisfying.” She gives a nod to all the parents who are up with their babies in the wee hours of the morning at the same time — saying we should “take comfort” in the thought of each of us comforting our babies together. “Rather than feeling isolated and exhausted, we can feel connected to the other tired mothers that are also awake.”
I remember when my now two-year-old was just a few months old, she’d always wake up to eat around four in the morning. I’d scoop her up out of her crib, gather a bunch of blankies, turn the stove light on in the kitchen, and just hold her while we cuddled on the couch. Many times, I’d doze right along with her and we’d stay just like that for an hour or two, sometimes three. My neck and shoulders ached endlessly from staying in that position for hours every day, and of course it was exhausting, but those are the memories that will bring tears to my eyes for the rest of my life. Those solitary, early morning moments, just her and me.
Milo always trying to keep up. It’s Amazing how different each baby and child is. As a first time mom you are so excited for your child to hit all of their milestones, secretly hopping your kid is the first to sit, crawl, clap, walk and talk. Doing everything in your power to help them along their journey. However as they get older the timing of all of those past milestones become less relevant as Sage, almost 4, runs just as fast at the kid who started walking at 8 months (Sage started walking right after his 1st bday). I understand that as a first time parent you are impatient and maybe worried your child isn’t hitting things fast enough but I’m here to tell you it’s OKAY! It really is, every child develops at their own pace but they get there and come preschool physically the playing field evens out. And now that I’m not hung up on when Milo is hitting what he keeps surprising me with his baby strength 😂 I’m going to say it’s a 3rd baby thing. My youngest sister did everything early too just trying to keep up! #milomax #6monthsold #momof3 #babymonkey #babymuscles #hangingonfordearlife #dontletgo #plantstrong
“These days are intense but short-lived,” Darnell says. “Both you and baby will be sleeping more soundly before long. For now, cuddle your babies, nurse them and love them no matter what time the clock says. The baby you rock tonight someday may have the opportunity to be gazing at the stars while holding a sweet baby of her own. She will be thinking of — and appreciating — you.”