Pokémon Go is here, the new app tons of kids (and adults) are obsessing over. And while lots of parents are absolutely thrilled the game is getting their kids outside and doing something, others are a little….less than thrilled.
The app spends up tons of data. There are sneaky in-app purchases to watch for. Your kids are now glued to their devices and walking into walls and you’re so tired of hearing about Pikachu you could Pika-puke. But that’s OK, because the funny parents of Twitter completely feel what you’re going through right now and are here to make you laugh while you wait for your kid to locate his Pidgey and come back to the car.
1. Pretty much.
So Pokemon Go is where you chase little beady-eyed monsters who are running amok and try to tame them? Then yes, I play. I’m a parent.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) July 13, 2016
Does the premise of the game feel a bit…familiar? There’s reason for that, parents.
2. You might get a little obsessed.
Me[to 8yo]: You said you wanted to play Pokémon Go so get your ass out of the car and climb that fence or I will leave you here I swear to g
— keith (@tchrquotes) July 13, 2016
Anything worth doing is worth doing right. Go big or go home.
3. It’s here to stay.
Take a deep breath, everybody. If we’re still hearing about fitbits, I’m pretty sure we have a long and difficult Pokemon road ahead of us.
— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) July 11, 2016
This craze isn’t going away any time soon. Might as well get an unlimited data plan and join in.
4. You can still be nice and lazy, though.
“Nice try Pokemon Go but I’m not getting tricked into exercise,” I say as I ride my Segway around to catch em all
— Zack (@Mr_Kapowski) July 9, 2016
The big thing with this game is how “active” it can make your kids. That’s cool, but what about us lazy parents? As this dad figured out, there are certain hacks you can apply.
5. Did we mention it’s addictive?
Jonah: [swallowed by a whale]
God: [after one day] ok it’s time to come out
Jonah: there’s still Pokemon in here
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) July 11, 2016
There are tales of grown adults being so engrossed in the game they’re literally being robbed. So yeah. Your kids will probably obsess too.
6. Isn’t that something.
My kid can find super rare digital pokemons all over our town but not the shoes she was wearing 7 minutes ago.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 13, 2016
Because of course they can. Priorities, guys.
Sorry. Can’t. I was too old for Pokemon the first time around.
— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 13, 2016
My younger brothers were obsessed, but I was busy trying out blue eye-shadow and lip syncing Britney in my bedroom mirror. Didn’t care then, really don’t care now.
8. Let him have this.
I thought I finally caught a Pokemon, but my wife just yelled at me to stop throwing balls at the kids.
— Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) July 13, 2016
Wives don’t get it. Sometimes, husbands have to take action. Just look away and let them be.
9. A time-honored classic.
Pokémon: Driving parents insane since 1990.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 9, 2016
If you ever wanted to feel closer to your own parents, now is the time. Finally. Something you can commiserate over.
10. We tried, pal.
30 years from now:
“Grandpa, what did your generation do during the great social unrest of 2016?”
“Well kiddo, if was called #PokemonGO.”
— Lance Burson (@lanceburson) July 13, 2016
By God, we tried.
Well, looks like there’s no Pokemon at the bottom of this tequila bottle.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) July 11, 2016
Keep drinking, partner. Keeeeeep drinking.
12. A legit concern.
Now I’m worried there’s a Pokemon somewhere in my bedroom laughing at me naked.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) July 12, 2016
Like, are these little assholes sentient? Can they see us? I feel as confused and scared as my mom when she first fired up her AOL account.
13. We may never know.
I just want to live in a world where I can understand why my kids are driving around looking for Pokemon.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 11, 2016
It’s like trying to understand the vastness of the universe. Best to just let it go and pour more wine.