1. I will stop comparing myself to the mom at the park, the mom at the store, the mom on TV, this mom, that mom, and the mom over there.
2. I will not wait until October 30th to buy my kid’s Halloween costume.
3. I will limit my dinner time battles to three times a week. If the kid wants to eat grilled cheese the other four nights—fine. At least they’re eating something and I’ll be grateful for that.
4. I will turn a blind eye every once in a while to the mess my children are making because it means they’re happy and having fun and leaving me alone.
5. I will stop freaking out about the dishes in the sink and the laundry in the… well, everywhere, and instead play with blocks or trains or dolls because chores will always exist; these moments won’t.
6. I will replace the batteries in that blinking, bleating, blaring, oh.my.gosh.my.eyes.are.twitching toy because the smile my kids get when they’re playing with it is worth it. For a few minutes anyway.
7. I will start carrying Kleenex in my purse because all the cuffs on my sweaters are starting to look really gross.
8. I will stop being afraid my kid will grow up to hate me just because I wouldn’t let them take TV remote and all three spatulas to bed.
9. I will make time for myself as often as I can because I’m worth it and my children need to see that taking time for oneself is important for my physical, mental, and emotional health.
10. I will find a better place to hide my chocolate because my kids are getting way too smart.
11. I will learn why the sky is blue, how far away the moon is, and what you call a baby iguana because these questions will no doubt be coming soon and I want to be prepared.
12. I will read ten books this year that don’t have pictures. Wait–that’s really ambitious. Five books. Hmm. One book without pictures.
13. I will take up a foreign language so my kids don’t know when I’m swearing and, therefore, won’t loudly repeat those words in public.
14. I will stop letting mom guilt control my emotions.
15. I will remind myself that I am not the only mom whose kids throw tantrums in the parking lot or push their siblings or refuse to poop on the stupid potty.
16. I will stop telling my daughter she can’t help me cook and start teaching her instead because someday I’d like someone else to make dinner around here.
17. I will offer a hand or encouraging word to a mom who is struggling with her kids.
18. I will RSVP to the birthday party, I will RSVP to the birthday party, I will RSVP to the birthday party.
19. I will only pin arts and crafts projects I might actually do with my kids.
20. I will remind myself every day that I am a damn good mom and no one can raise my kids better than me.