If you’re a fellow socially awkward mom (or dad), we totally understand. Even just being around other people is risky, because who knows when you’ll begin talking about your pet cat who died when you were eight. Maybe you’ll trip over your own feet, or walk into a sliding glass door. You just never know what might happen when you’re forced to interact with other humans.
Fear not, friend, we get it. In fact, there are lots of us. We should probably start a group, but online, where we don’t have to see each other.
Here are 14 items you will totally want if you’re socially awkward.
Is there anything that says “Don’t talk to me” quite like a T-shirt that literally tells people to leave you alone?
We’re basically this llama-unicorn thing, so your move, other awkward people.
Oh look, someone put our memoir on a pillow. Neat.
No ones knows awkward better than you. You will own this game, probably.
Guaranteed 365 days a year, people are going to be out there doing peopley things.
It’s true, but we’re socially awkward and have a guilty conscience, so here we are.
So, if you make it weird wherever you go, is there like a punch card to get free stuff at some point? Cause we’re loyally awkward.
And we’re either married to them or gave birth to them.
The ultimate excuse for getting out of human interaction.
Let’s just stay inside and drink coffee, forever.
But please, Janet, go on, we’re dying to hear more about your morning commute.
Someone pass us our earbuds and chapstick, because it’s about to get lit up in here.
OK, it’s really more of a favor to yourself, because if we engage in conversation, things will probably get weird.
You know introverts love socks. Not sure why, but we do.
If you’ve ever been caught talking to a house plant, or sneeze-farted at a social event, we feel ya. Solidarity, friends — but from over here.
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