Pepto Bismol not included
Hello, people of exquisite taste — we’re happy to report there’s a Taco Bell hotel opening this summer and it’s everything you’d ever imagined.
“Get ready for ‘Bell’ hops and Baja Blasts, fire sauce and sauce packet floaties, because the Taco Bell Hotel is coming and will give fans an unexpected and unforgettable trip of a lifetime,” a press release announced. “Beginning August 9 for a limited time, doors will open at The Bell: A Taco Bell Hotel and Resort in Palm Springs, California, making fans’ dreams come true with an immersive way to celebrate the best of the brand.”
Wait, it’s not permanent? That’s some kind of bullshit right there.
— Taco Bell (@tacobell) May 16, 2019
My college campus Taco Bell was open 24 hours because they’re no dummies. I lived with nine roommates and our official calling card after a night at the bars was, “wanna get saved by the bell?” Yes, yes of course we did — because nothing cures what’s ailing you like a bean burrito dipped in fire sauce.
“The Bell stands to be the biggest expression of the Taco Bell lifestyle to date. It will be fun, colorful, flavorful and filled with more than what our fans might expect,” said Taco Bell’s Chief Global Brand Officer Marisa Thalberg. “Also, just like some of our most sought-after food innovation, this hotel brings something entirely new for lucky fans to experience and enjoy.”
The hotel promises to deliver a one-of-a-kind experience including “design and entertainment to craveable food and beyond,” but I’m of the opinion they offer that to us mere mortals on the daily. They are available morning, noon, and night with enough hard and soft shelled tacos, Gorditas, and cheesy chicken quesadillas to feed us forever. All of that for the low, low price of not going broke.
If you are waiting on pins and needles for this hotel to open, feel free to sign up for their free mailing list which will keep you in the know on all Chalupa-related happenings and reservation go-live. With promises of “guest rooms to breakfast and poolside cocktails will be infused with a Taco Bell twist, making this the flavor-filled getaway of 2019,” it feels like we’d all just be missing out on something epic if we don’t venture on over to Palm Springs to check it out.
All the recent Taco Bell swag that’s been advertised is making us ready for summer anyway, so it just makes sense they would put it all in one central location for fans to indulge and enjoy. Really, who doesn’t want to lounge around in a taco-shaped pool (I cannot confirm this, it just how I picture it) whilst shoving nachos in your pie hole in a Taco Bell-themed bikini this summer?
No one. That’s who.