Some people call the holidays the most wonderful time of the year. But for many of us adults, making the magic happen can just make us feel stressed out. We’re making our shopping lists and checking them twice. We’re planning menus and buying expensive plane tickets. Well, rest assured fellow parents—our toddlers have a very busy agenda as well. Our sweet little elves are trying to accomplish a lot this holiday season.
Here is your toddler’s holiday agenda:
1. Play hide-and-seek in a store that is packed to the gills with last minute shoppers. A super awesome trick is to disappear into the middle of a clothes rack and watch your parent frantically search for you.
2. Have a meltdown when you’re only allowed to open one door per day on the advent calendar. Repeat for all of December.
3. Insist on lighting the candles on the Hanukkah menorah all by yourself. While you are holding the flame, don’t squander this prime opportunity to attempt to light everything else on fire other than the candles.
4. Eat tinsel, mistletoe, raw cranberries, and pine needles.
5. Get hopelessly stuck in a snow bank. Holler as though you might be dying or are being abused. It keeps the neighborhood interesting.
6. Pee in your snowsuit.
7. Take off your boots and socks every time you are in your car seat for more than five minutes.
8. Make your legs into limp noodles whenever someone attempts to put the boots back on.
9. Insist on putting your boots on all by yourself. Take approximately two hours to accomplish this task. End up putting them on the wrong feet. Insist that they are actually on the right feet and that they feel completely fine.
10. Whenever it’s necessary to go past the Christmas tree, make sure you sideswipe the entire thing. The jingling sound of the ornaments all crashing together is a wonderful noise.
11. Throw a tantrum at least once per day because you really, really, REALLY need to open a present. Try to open at least one present every time your parents dare to take their eyes off of you.
12. When at a party, touch every cookie on the plate before making your selection. Always put your finger in a cake or pie. And most importantly, never miss an opportunity to take a bite out of a slice of cheese or carrot stick and then sneak it back onto the snack tray.