This Utah school believes girls must dance with a boy if she is asked
A Utah mom is upset about a school policy she recently learned about– and rightly so. The rule revolves around an elementary school dance and the fact that girls aren’t able to say “no” when a boy asks them to dance regardless of whether they actually want to dance with that boy or not.
Can I get an “oh hell, nah?”
Natalie Richard’s daughter attends Kanesville Elementary in West Haven, Utah and is currently in the sixth grade. When she originally told Richard what her teacher had said, she thought her daughter must have misunderstood the school policy. “Oh no, no honey,” she told Fox 13. “You guys are misunderstanding again. That’s not how it is.”
So the mom took it upon herself to talk with the teacher and was astonished to learn her daughter had heard correctly. “The teacher said she can’t. She has to say yes. She has to accept and I said, ‘Excuse me,” she explained to Fox 13. So she went to the principal.
“He basically just said they’ve had this dance set up this way for a long time and they’ve never had any concern before,” she said.
Apparently the idea behind the rule is to try to teach kids to respect one another.
“We want to promote kindness, and so we want you to say yes when someone asks you to dance,” explained Weber School District spokesperson Lane Findlay, who confirmed the policy is in place. “Please be respectful, be polite.”
It sounds like what they are actually doing is trying to teach girls to respect what the boys want regardless of their feelings on the matter. There are so many things wrong with this picture I’m not sure where to start unpacking.
Not only does it teach boys that girls will do whatever they ask, it negates these girls’ feelings and reinforces that their opinions and emotions are somehow less important. This isn’t a dance for boys — it’s a school dance, which means all parties should be dancing with whomever they want to dance with.
But wait, there’s more.
Apparently before the school dance (which is voluntary), the girls receive a card with all students names on it who have expressed interest in dancing with them and are asked to choose five boys they want to dance with. Then it’s up to the girls to alert school officials if there is someone on the card who they feel uncomfortable dancing with so it can be hashed out beforehand.
(*picks up eyeballs off desk and inserts them back into eye sockets*)
“If there is an issue, if there’s students that are uncomfortable or have a problem with another student, I mean: that’s certainly something that can be addressed with that student and parents,” Findlay said.
NO. No, Sweet Caroline, NO. that’s not at all how it’s supposed to go.
You mean, the girl has to defend her reason for not wanting to dance with a boy to the boy and his family and the school?!? How is this a thing? How about, “No means no and I don’t have to give you a damn reason.” Period. End of story. Ba-bye.
“I do see it from their perspective when it comes to that, but there are many other ways to teach children how to be accepting than with a social dance,” Richard explained. “Psychologically, my daughter keeps coming to me and saying I can’t say ‘no’ to a boy,” she said. “That’s the message kids are getting.”