Hey if you’ve ever considered giving a pregnant person unsolicited advice or judgement: DON’T
For whatever reason (*cough* patriarchy *cough*), when a person is pregnant, the entire world feels the need to weigh in on the pregnancy and fetus. It’s like a pregnant person’s belly is just communal property or something? Well, one woman is sharing a hilarious viral tweet about how she handled a stranger’s unwarranted judgment in a coffee shop. And it’s PERFECTION.
Twitter user Jaclene Paolucci, @Diamond_Jax, describes a recent encounter she had with a stranger in Starbucks. In case you didn’t know, Starbucks sells coffee. Which pregnant people are allowed to have. Sure, there are recommended doses of caffeine milligrams put in place for optimal fetal health or whatever. But, uh, you can totally still have coffee!
Apparently, this stranger didn’t get the memo.
(I am 6 months pregnant)
Me after ordering my coffee:
Stranger at Starbucks: you know you should be drinking decaf when you’re pregnant.
Me: I’m… not pregnant.
Stranger: (horrified) I am so, so sorry!
And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.
— Jax ⚡️ (@Diamond_Jax) August 2, 2019
LOL. “I’m…not pregnant.” Oh, can you imagine the look of sheer horror on that person’s face? And it’s nothing less than what they deserve.
Currently, I am 20 days away from my own due date. I drink one cup of coffee every morning, and after several hours of chasing my 3-year-old around, I could cry with want for another. Occasionally I drink a small iced tea or something to perk me up midday while staying within the daily recommended milligrams of caffeine (barely). I also drink a ton of water throughout the day. I owe literally zero people this explanation, but SO MANY PEOPLE don’t understand this.
If you don’t believe me, try reading all of the responses from others who faced similar disdain from perfect strangers while pregnant.
On behalf of every person who has ever been confronted with "you should really..." while pregnant -- pic.twitter.com/PX7UlSSCs3— 🏳️🌈Jennie ⚢ Trott🏳️🌈 (@nevergetfooled) August 3, 2019
A male coworker once said to me as I was eating a McDonald’s cheeseburger and fries, You should eat something healthy, like a salad. I was vegetarian up until my 6th month, I literally hadn’t had McDs in 15+ years. I looked at him as I shoved it in my mouth and said SHUT UP ERIC— Lauren Zboralski (@lttlovelylauren) August 4, 2019
I drank regular coffee through all three pregnancies. My kids are practically perfect. Fuck ppls advice! You do you!— Stacey Bonet (@StaceyBuba) August 2, 2019
When you’re pregnant it’s strange enough to lose so much of your body autonomy to the baby, but then everyone else confirms it’s no longer your body as well. It’s the worst part about being pregnant.— Jax ⚡️ (@Diamond_Jax) August 2, 2019
I was getting ice cream with my mom, when I was in sixth grade, wearing an empire dress and the woman infront of us asked how far along I was. I looked at her blank faced and said “I’m Eleven.” She was very quiet for the rest of her wait.— EL ❤ (@EL_evate_) August 3, 2019
After I had my son, a lady stopped me & asked if I was able to “properly feed him by the breast”— DeploymentPrbs ❤️™ (@DeploymentPrbs) August 2, 2019
I said “he doesn’t seem to like boobs all that much. We think he’s gay.”
Her face was priceless.
Even after the baby your body isn’t yours anymore
“I’ve discovered that if you want unsolicited advice, then you should get pregnant,” Jaclene tells BBC News. “It feels like the moment you do get pregnant, then you lose your body’s autonomy. People start touching you and everybody has an opinion on how you should act, what you should wear – everything. The only people who should be able to do that should be you and your doctor.”
For what it’s worth (and because there are surely nosy people out there), she says she’s limited her daily caffeine intake to one coffee per day and her doctor is fine with it. But that’s not the point. The point is, society as a whole feels entitled to tell pregnant people what to do with their bodies. Anti-choice laws and regulations are more abundant than they’ve been in 40 years. Postpartum depression and anxiety are at an all-time high, and there aren’t nearly enough affordable or available resources for postpartum mothers to utilize.
All this going on, and we can’t even enjoy a cup of Starbucks coffee without an altercation with a stranger about it. It’s unreal. Just leave me, my tiny cup of coffee, and my — gasp — LUNCHMEAT -LADEN SUBWAY SANDWICH alone, mmmmmkay?
“What if I hadn’t been pregnant?” she says. “And there are many postpartum women who find it hard to get rid of their bellies. Comments like this can be hurtful so unless someone is having a baby in front of you, you shouldn’t get involved.”