Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
1. The person who thought fish made good carnival prizes. This is the ultimate slap in the face to a parent: You innocently bring your kid to a carnival, someplace you’d rather not be to begin with and are doing soley for the kids, and are forced to leave with a pet. A pet who you will have to feed, whose water you will have to change and whose body you will inevitably have to flush down the toilet. It’s bullshit.
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2. The obnoxious sport parent. You know, the one who doesn’t really grasp the whole “fun” concept. The one who yells from the sidelines like a four year old and challenges the umpires. The one who acts like a bigger child than the actual children participating in the game themselves. There’s always at least one. If you’re lucky, they’ll be on the other team.
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3. The rich toothfairy. A dollar a tooth was the going rate when I was a kid, and given the current economic climate, should be the going rate now. When a parent gives their kid ten bucks a tooth, it makes the rest of us look like cheapskates. Besides, should we really encourage paying big bucks for body parts? Seems like dangerous territory to me.
4. Mothers who dress their daughters like whores. Yes, in theory, a mother should be able to dress their child however they deem fit. The problem is that when you dress your child like a slut, my child wants to dress like a slut, too. Can’t we all agree to at least let our kids get to the teen years before they look like mini-hookers?
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5. The teacher who taught my kid that “because” is not an answer. I would have appreciated if she’d noted that it is, indeed, an answer if it comes from the parent..
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6. The Bar Mitzvah/Christening/Birthday party show-offs. When you throw your kid an obscenely over the top and perfect event, it makes normal parties look lame in comparison. Besides, the every party you throw sets the tone for the following one — who wants to compete with yourself next year?
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7. Parents who don’t effectively kill lice. Has there ever been a lawsuit over this? Is three years ago too long for me to press charges? Because I’m bitter about our lice experience.
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8. The party thrower who wires kids. Parents of young party goers buy presents, schelp kids over and help celebrate a birthday they don’t give two shits about. Serving cake when the party is over, giving candy goody bags and handing high-on-sugar kids back to them is hardly the thank you they deserve.
9. The parent who knowingly sends their sick kid to school. We’ve all been there. Having a sick kid is inconvenient and annoying and a complete pain in the ass, but exposing that sick kid to the rest of the class is committing the worst parenting crime. You just don’t do it.
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10. The insane overachievers. Can’t we all just embrace mediocre? It’s so much easier.
{ 307 comments… read them below or add one }
ha! yes. So very, very true. ;-)
Michele C. recently posted..K is for Knowing
Ha. Brilliant, Jill.
And the ones who think “parenting” is a verb. Can’t we just be parents and just kind of “be present”?
Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted..A Poem I Wrote When I Was 10
Sorry, but your responsibilities run a little deeper than “just being there”. It is your responsibility to show your children the proper way to live life by example. It is your responsibility to raise children that are repectful, thoughtful, and know how to have good clean fun. TV and Computers are very poor babysitters and you are the one that accepted this responsibility by having them in the first place!
so I teach and
1. I am sorry about the because thing, but, it just has to be done :)
2. I get SO upset when kids are sent to school sick, especially if they go home puking with a fever AND COME IN THE VERY NEXT DAY. Isn’t there a 24 hours after a fever rule? Or did I just make that up??
3. I can’t even with the pros-ti-tots….My son will be dating one of those one day…dammit
HOLY SHIT! dying! pros-ti-tots! bwahahahaha
me too!!!! pros ti tots … bahahaha
Amy recently posted..A Day Shared
Thanks for the new word! So needed for Toddlers & Tiaras! Goes with Eski-hoes (girls in short shorts and uggs)
bahahahaha eski-hos
my husband will like that one, he HATES uggs with shorts.
love it!
Awesome! I usually lump them all in as whorelettes, but prostitots and eskihoes seem more PC to me.
Rainyday recently posted..Medicated mama
it’s not a new word…. smh
Don’t fall off that high horse. ^
OMFG hilarious – thank you Teacher ;)
The schools are the ones who should enforce the 24 hour fever rule, our daycare does.
Schools try to, but a lot of parents raise such holy hell that schools inevitably cave in. It also doesn’t help when parents send the sick kids in and when the school does try uphold the rule and get the kid picked up no at home answers the phone, or the cell phone, or the work phone. The best is when the phone numbers and emergency numbers are wrong or have been shut off.
My mom almost got in trouble BIG TIME for this because I was going to school looking like the walking dead. I was throwing up, looking pale as a ghost, the whole nine yards. They called her in to give her the riot act and she had NO idea what was going on. They called me into the office. I come in, see my mom, ask, “Mom, what are you doing here?!” and they let her off the hook. I didn’t tell her I was sick. I was a bit of a um over achiever back then and I hated being at home sick (because my mom wasn’t the take care of you when you’re home sick type). I totally screwed myself over doing this too. While I wasn’t sick in the sense of exposing people, because I wasn’t giving my stomach a chance to rest, I had no choice but to on the day of the school carnival deal and therefore had to miss all the yummy food which really sucked. I was 11.
Janeen recently posted..Isabelle’s birth story–the long version–Part 5
At 11 it’s a little different…and your example is a little different than the kids going home early on Monday with a high fever or throwing up and the showing up Tuesday. It sucks for the classmates and the teacher. Who wants a stomach virus?
I understand that a lot of jobs will not let you have off to care for a sick child, which is bullshit and there should be laws mandating sicks days to care for family, but it’s really aggravating to watch a child look and feel so miserable. They’re not learning anything when they come to class/school that day. They’re bodies are too busy fighting off grossness to focus on lessons.
I totally agree with you and I agree too that there are a lot of jobs that basically make you choose between your kids and your job. I’ve seen it a few times now and I’m sure it’s gotten worse with the lousy economy we currently have. Just happened to remember that though actually the funny thing with that was my mom was actually more prone to keep us out of school than she was to send us to school sick. lol She would would be in SO much trouble if she had kids in school this day and age. lol
Janeen recently posted..Isabelle’s birth story–the long version–Part 5
Exactly, all phone are disconnected or the child doesn’t know their number because it is changed so often.
On the flip side of that, my son had perfect attendance till two bouts with a chest cold, set 2 weeks apart. It was one of those, he’s not sick enough to go to the doctor, but I didn’t think he should be at school moments. Thinking of how annoying it is as a parent to deal with someone else sending a sick child to school. So I keep him home, he wasn’t vomiting or feverish, just a severe cough and runny nose, stuff that had been going around. So yeah. He maxed out his 10 days and had to have a doctor’s note then on. How do you deal with that, when they aren’t sick enough for a doctor but too sick to be around kids? Incidentally he was sent to school with coughs and leaky nose after that, again just not quite bad enough for the doctor’s office. So not always are parents insensitive assholes hellbent on destroying the happy of others, I swear it!
@ Teacher, love the pros-tit-tot comment. I personally think Toddlers and Tiaras should be banded and their moms brought up on child abuse charges, but that’s just me. My daughter will wear unflattering over sized out of style clothing with long sleeves and button necks if need be, lol.
Ive had that problem too. My daughter fractured her spleen when she was 5 and picks up EVERY illness that goes through the school. The school gets mad at me, but when she gets sick she get really sick. I send her and I’m a bad parent for exposing other kids to her. I don’t send her and I am neglectful for not sending her to school. Wish they would make up their minds!!
The best was when I worked a school and my student was vomiting and had a fever. His mother refused to come pick him up from the nurse’s office. The mother insisted he was vomiting because he must have eaten his lunch too fast and that he probably didn’t have a fever – he was just wearing too heavy of a sweater. Jesus fucking christ.
Yep. I had a mom tell me her son was “faking it.” Ummm… faking a fever and vomiting? That would be quite a feat! Never the less, the mom refused to come get the boy. :(
Problem with that is there is no way to prove it. Unless the school sends the kid home, they can’t keep them from coming back. I teach and I hate when kids come to school sick…they can’t function and they distract others around them if only with concern that they are next. Heck, I get worried I’ll carry it home to my own kids.
A lot of parents these days treat school as “daycare” for the kids, but that is at least in part because the system lets them. As someone said, the school caves in the end.
Yeah I get that numbers don’t work and stuff like that, and maybe it’s just that it’s a public school so parent think they own it and everyone in it. I do think a lot of administrators just pick their battles, we use to have a bunch of kids spending their “school day” at the clinic because they were pulled out of the classroom sick or with lice, but the parent never showed up to pick them up.
No- It is the parents responsibility to properly care for the kids!!
pros-ti-tots! That is great!! Stealing it and thanks!! That is just hilarious!
:)
Isn’t it odd. . . That all the poor kids problems seem to come back to ” PARENTS”
Let yourself off the hoook people, Someone raised you that way too. WASN’t ME I was and always have been for the kid. . . So I wonder HOW my Child managed to become a parent that portrays Being a parent such a chore ~ Love her to death and her kids ~ BUT . . . The Problem is she also made the choice to move a thousand miles away from the Family that ALWAYS A-L-W-A-Y-S passed the kids off to someone else at least once or twice a week for fun with their kids! and sometimes it was neighbors kids. If the Rules have Changed, Its You that changed them. ~<;o}
Erin recently posted..The Best Things About Summer Break, According To A Lunch Lady
Random caps make me twitchie. Actually, most of your comment made me twitchie.
I accidently sent my son to school sick. He had been faking it (not for the first time) the day before because his sister had a tummy bug. I was expecting him to get it but he looked fine and was playing that morning but every now and again would say he had a sore tummy. So I sent him to school. Yeah…oops…had to pick him up at 10am because he threw up during morning tea. I felt bad so kept him home for 2 days to be sure he was all better.
morning tea? no kid likes tea… tooo high falooting to say milk or juice?
My kids love tea :) But what school would give kids morning tea?
It’s only called morning tea (not sure why) no one gives the kids tea. Same thing as intervel, morning play, smoko. I have no idea why we call it morning tea and afternoon tea, must be a new zealand thing.
Omfg! Pros-ti-tots is my new favorite word! Holy crap that is
hi-Freaking-larious!
prosti-tots!! BAHAHAHHAHAHA..sigh..
I have two daughters.. so far they think the bratz dolls clothes dont fit very well and feel sorry for them…
so far….
Christie: thanks so much for the new meme! Can’t wait to spread the term ~ pros-ti-tots….LOVE IT! :D
When I was at my catholic highschool as a senior, we used to call the little new niners pros-ti-tots because of their excessively shorter kilts….love that it wasn’t regional!
$1?!?!?! I think I used to get $0.25. I’m 30. LOL.
Mini-hookers: YES!!! I saw shimmery leggings for TODDLERS yesterday. To go with the mini skirts. Then again, have you seen the baby bikinis? Too much “Toddlers & Tiaras”. Make the early sexualization stop!!!!
ok #3 – I got a quarter. My kids now get a dollar. Some of their friends get $5 or $10, and I think it’s totally obnoxious for a 5 year old who doesn’t really even understand the value.
#4 – yep, couldn’t agree more. my 6 year old has been BEGGING AND BEGGING for a skimpy bikini. they also see a lot on TV, which I try to monitor, but with a teenage sister, it’s close to impossible.
#7 – so been there. so so so so been there. I’ve found two reliable lice solutions: flat iron, and robi comb.
Great article! :)
Jeannine Eubanks recently posted..Wedding {K & T}
sorry, didn’t mean to put this here, meant it to be a normal comment. :/
Jeannine Eubanks recently posted..Wedding {K & T}
Shimmery leggings doesn’t translate to hookers, does it? That’s seems like stretching it a bit.
I love getting my daughter all sorts of legging, shimmer included, because she wears them underneath skirts and dresses. It’s the whole outfit that matters not just one item of clothing in it.
Don’t get me started on “bikinis”
So I take it your daughter has discovered Justice…Welcome to my world my friend. We need a Justice Support Group. xo
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..The 5 Stages of Planning a Disney Vacation
OMG Justice Clothing! My step-daughter (her real mom sucks of course) just cant get enough of Justice clothing!! BUT she doesn’t pick out the skimpy slutty clothes she picks out all of the FUGLY weird neon color clothes from my junior high years and I just want to faint an die. We also live in Phx, Az and the shorter the better for the summer….its just something for us not so pros-ti-tots (lmao) to get use too. It’s legs and shorts — that are in style — just like skinny jeans — just make her wear a long lengthed tank top so her belly stays covered….the least we can do is help direct our girls to keep they’re legs crossed and bend correctly like the long dressed days in the oldtimer days :) lol
I also have a 10 month old daughter. I’m ok with the short shorts..is it because I’m 33?
I’m younger then you and think short shorts look bad on most people, but especially little girls. My 8 month old can wear my tee shirts with a belt when she’s older before I’ll let her wear freaking short shorts. I refuse to give perverts and pedophiles an excuse.
You also probably dont live in Phoenix, Az – and my parenting style is AP, crunchy, informed and totally hippie – it’s all within reason. We also look better in shorts above our knees being we are about 105 soaking wet, not 250 nor wear undergarments that need to be hid. She’ll be wearing skirts with tank tops and shorts with a decent appeal, not a hoochie appeal. Thanks – and remember it’s the 11th year anniversary of 9-11 today – let’s be kind especially today!
God Bless YOU!
Lol, I love how you assume anyone not loving short shorts is a cow. I didn’t asked what you weighed or where you lived.
Short shorts are sexist no matter wear you live or how hot it gets outside. Skimpy clothing on kids is freaking tacky, and parents that think it’s ok are too.
And it’s been proven, you’re better off covering up from the Sun. Unless you aren’t worried about severe wrinkles and skin cancer later in life.
OMG I flipping hate Justice. The only thing missing from that store is the pole!
Before I knew what it was like I took my 6 year old daughter in and told her to look around for something she liked. She picked up several things and all of my answers were no so she said “Well is there anything here I can get?” I looked around, said no and we left. Much to her dismay we went to the childrens place. lol
If I could add a #11, it’s those parents that let their kids do ridiculous things that are not age appropriate thus causing our kids to say, “But Janie’s parents let her do that!” Arghh.
I am a horrible mother because the next words out of my mouth are usually “Well, Janie’s parents don’t love her as much as I love you” or “Well, Janie has crappy parents. Feel lucky that I care enough to keep you from doing stupid crap”.
Yep, not writing the book on how to win friends and influence people any time soon over here.
You know what though? My daughter hasn’t said “But so-and-so’s parents let him/her do this/that” in about two years. She’s 12 now so this is a miracle! lol
Susan
http://75percenthippie.blogspot.com
http://happyhippieheart.blogspot.com
Susan recently posted..Our House
LOL you sound like me. I also tell them well sorry honey you didn’t win the cool parents you got stuck with us.Or the one that makes me sound like our parents ( which I hate ) well you live in my house with my rules if you lived there i’m sure you could..wow that sucks for you huh? lol
50 odd years ago, my mother’s stock answer to ‘ so-and-so does such-and-such’ was ‘well, that’s exactly why you won’t be doing it’. Drove me nuts, but I found myself saying the same to my boys!
Mine is “I don’t give a flying fig what Janie is allowed to do. You aren’t so get use to it.”
LOL! Stumbled on this blog & it’s cracking me up!!!! @Susan, you sound like me! My daughter is almost 30 & I’m a grandmother. I used to say the same things to her when she was little! Sometimes I’d even say things like “If Mary’s parents are so great why don’t you just pack your little Hello Kitty backpack that I bought you after you pleaded with me that ‘everyone elses moms bought THEM a Hello Kitty packpack… yes, the one you NEVER wear anymore because it is ‘sooo last week’…. pack that f*ckin’ thing with all the clothes, toys, & shoes I’ve bought you over the years & go move in with Mary’s parents! See how long THEY put up with your whinging!” LOL!!! Now she says the same things to my grandson. And it still works!!!
I combated the “so and so’s mom lets them do it” a long time ago with “different parents have different rules” and my daughter is 8 now and when I say it to her she shrugs and says “oh yeah” and is happy with that answer. lol
That’s my line as well. I tell my kids I do what I think is best and I’m learning as I go. Everyone makes rules that work for their family, and since each family is different, each family’s rules are different.
New Lisa recently posted..Wardrobe Dysfunction
Oh I feel you, sister! I worry about my daughter a lot and struggle with ways to raise her that make her appreciate and respect her body – and not want to dress like a whore or put too much emphasis on thinness. It’s a cruel world we live in when 12-year-olds (and younger!) are struggling with eating disorders because every women who is “idolized” is about 2 pounds from crumbling into a heap of bones.
Motherhood on the Rocks recently posted..LINK UP WITH LINK’N BLOGS
I can’t stand the obnoxious sports parents. Do they really think insulting the refs will somehow help the team? I have even seen the start of a physical altercation between 2 women in the stands resulting in one being thrown out. WTF?
Denise recently posted..Calm My Crazy: New Linky Starts Friday!
Thats disgusting!
Hooray for mediocrity!!
Oh we have a no. 2 on Cady’s softball team, but it is the GRANDparents. I actually wrote about it last week. Jerks. Thankfully tonight is our last game. I just have to make through an hour and a half of softball without showing my ass. Wish me luck.
Jennifer recently posted..Three of my Favorite Things
Oh, no. I fear I’m at least one of those. But, I follow your blog so that cancels out the over-the-top birthday parties, right? No? Drat.
critters and crayons recently posted..Dress-Up: Embracing The Cape & Cowboy Boots
Spot on! I agree wholeheartedly!
the domestic fringe recently posted..I Stop for It
Amen. Just Amen to every single one of these.
Dana recently posted..They have wings now
So guilty of the over-the -top celebrations – but don’t those make up for all the shitty things that happen in life!! Have a great party for when things are worth celebrating and that gives you a good memory to hold onto when the shit hits the fan.
I like doing this, but I don’t judge others for thinking about it differently.
I go a little over the top for the 5th birthday. I love doing it too. Don’t care what others think, starting school is an important mile stone.
HAHAHA! I have encountered every single one of these during my 8 years of motherhood so far and I agree with them all.
Missy recently posted..The Making of a Princess
OMG YES to the daughters dressing like whores. Please make it stop, please. My daughter is a toddler, and it’s already starting. I weep for how she’ll want to leave the house by age 7….
Yes to the whore people. Moreso if you see your kid dressing like a whore and choose not to address it, and I so agree with the parties thing. I will NEVER have a party like that. EVER.
Stephanie recently posted..Emerging from the Depths of Curiosity
Absolutely amen on all of these, especially no.7.
I would also add parents who don’t even bother to bring the kid to the damn birthday party. I get it, you don’t want to be there but for an hour or two- you’ll live! Haul the kid over and get over it, instead of me explaining to my kid why their friends didn’t come. ugh!
I agree… or the parents that RSVP to a party but thendon’t bring their kid and better yet those that just show up. I have a small house so most of my kid parties are at places where I pay by the kid…. frustrating.
I decided to one up the fish people. The next carnival I run we are going to give away puppies as prizes. That ought to earn me the love and gratitude of more than a few parents.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..7 Things You Never Say To Mean Moms
You are just so difficult.
Rebecca Schorr recently posted..Special Delight
And yet who makes you laugh.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Do The Work- The Write Way To Write
I gotta tell you, I was pretty upset about the whole lice thing myself. What a trial. The real issue is the bullshit lies they tell you about how to get rid of them. Poison? Doesn’t work worth a damn and it sure as hell doesn’t kill the nits!! I found the answer in the old home solutions of olive oil and vinegar, did the trick, stopped the cycle of horror. If they would just TELL people HOW TO DO IT RIGHT, it wouldn’t be that horrible. The whole, bag everything up for weeks on end? That’s bullshit too. They live less than 48 hours without a human host. Wash the bedding. Smother your kids head in olive oil or mayonaisse for 30 minutes to an hour, just to be sure, then wash a few times and rinse with straight white vinegar. Dissolves the nits completely and they brush right out. Wish I had known that before I spent a fortune on several treatments of that gawd awful poison crap. And I’m totally with you on the goldfish. I told my daughter last time that we weren’t going to play that game, because if we won one, we might as well just throw the fish on the floor and stomp on it since it would be dead within 24 hours anyway. We’d won them before, spent 30 bucks on the equipment on our way home and then the little buggers were just belly up the next day from the complete trauma. I agree. Who ever thought that was a good idea should be shot!
You forgot about the idiotic fathers at the Pinewood Derby in Scouting – the ones who made the cars and make them so well and are so competitive that your little guy’s car looks ridiculous compared to theirs and doesn’t even go down the track right, despite all of his hard work and trying. This should be outlawed, it enrages me the way things are done now.
Amen Trisha, my Nephew worked on his race car for DAYS and was so proud of it and then was heartbroken when he got to church and saw all the ones that were CLEARLY not made by 9 year olds. Then, to add salt in his sweet wounded heart, the asshat parents who judged, gave awards to all the parentmademobiles!
Prosti-tots ! Love it- also love that I have boys..
I have boys, 12, and 9, and I’m terrified of the skanks they encounter at school – these girls will wrap them around their fingers, chew em up, spit them out – I have already started my “condoms are cheaper than diapers” mantra with the 12 yr old.
Thank you, Julie! I am in the same boat. Who would have thought that at 9 and 12 I’d be teaching my boys to beware of hookers – in their classrooms??? This isn’t entirely the fault of the miniwhores. It’s the stupid media that pushes sex to sell clothes, hair products, etc., and parents who are too absent to know what’s going on, too ignorant to realize it’s dangerous, or too easily manipulated that they give into the ploys of marketing and their children’s whims. It’s possible as a parent to filter *some* of that crap – but only to an extent. For instance, in my home, I’m kinda weird – we only get Netflix so that we don’t have to watch commercials. But their dad’s, their grandparents, their friends…I can’t be everywhere all the time and neither can anyone else – nor should we be. Part of being 9 and 12 means you have gained some independence. But I’m so angry that my kids’ childhoods are being cheated away from them by manufactures who market inappropriate things to kids at the expense of their innocence. My 12 year old, who still thinks LEGOS and Starwars are cool, is considered a dork because he doesn’t take girls out on dates and spend (supposedly) $200 on them. What crap. I suspect these accounts from the other kids in his class are trumped up, but still, what parent drives their 12-year-old to a restaurant, lets them have a semi-private date and then pays for the whole affair? Why not just marry them off and have them start procreating immediately. Who needs a childhood anyway? Blah.
Ummm, I really don’t think you need to “warn” your sons about the “whores” in thier classrooms. Particularly given how subjective it clearly is on this board what constitutes a “whore”.
I seriously doubt any of these girls are planning on using their feminine wiles (at 9 and 12 themselves) on your precious boys. Not to mention it isn’t for you to decide how anyone else dresses (gotta say, I’m flummoxed by all the super uptight concerns about how other people dress their kids).
As for the restuarant thing – while I don’t spend that sort of $$$, it’s been pretty common for awhile (and I include my adolescence in the midwest, when dinosaurs still roamed the earth) for middle school aged kids to go on dates together (they all did so 40 years ago on the Brady Bunch!).
I’ll put #11 on the list: parents who are super overprotective, seek to control thier children’s every move and are afriad to let them grow up.
Oh, okay. Thank you for your completely stupid opinion. I can guess that because you think my way of doing things is “overprotective” that you must be much more liberal minded than I am, and it yours is probably one of the middle-school-aged girls somewhere in this country who is already pregnant. For the record, there are over 20 pregnant 8th graders at our middle school; I would say that qualifies as a lack of parenting on the part of other parents – or is that your idea of not being “super overprotective and seeking to control their children’s every move and afraid of letting them grow up”? My 12-year-old son has had more than a dozen girls, also around the age of 12, try to get him to past third base. I don’t know what you call that kind of behavior, but I call it whoreish. I’m not overprotective. I’m reality oriented. And if your parents were cool taking you on dates with your “girlfriend” at the age of 12 to classy restaurants where you and your “date” spent a small fortune, than, wow, there are more idiots in the world than I knew!
Wow! What super white trash school district are you in????? None of the kids in my daughter’s “liberal minded” arts focused magnet school even think about having sex, let alone being seriously stupid enough to get pregnant. They all have actual goals beyond “doing it”.
Let alone over 20 8th grade girls already knocked up and (it would appear) the majority already “doing it”. We talk about sex all the time, as does my kid’s school (they just had the rice baby assignment) and they all get that’s NOT for them. I’m sorry for you that you live in such a low brow, tacky area, with such unbelievably sleazy people.
Fortunately, I’m not an “idiot”, but an evil, liberal, urban elite. We don’t seem to have quite these issues. But if it makes you feel better to call me stupid (and frankly if I lived in the trashy place you apparently do, I’d need ot make myself feel better), please feel free. :-)
I also get the distinct impression you’re rather jealous of two kids who got to go to the upscale restaurant. I personally wouldn’t foot the bill for such an expensive date for my daughter, but I did use to throw her some very elaborate birthday parties and she and her BFF will have a spa day for her birthday next week. Lots of kids at her school have I-Phones. In other words, buying your child nice things (if you can afford to and choose to do so) is up to the other parents, not you.
And FYI, there’s no link between buying your kid stuff and becoming a teen mom, that I know of. But you misunderstood me—all I said was that teens and tweens going on dates has been around for awhile.
Oh P.S. the same son you admit is considered a “nerd” by his classmates has had more than 12 girls attempt to either blow him or jack him off. And he, being the sweet angel, refused. Despite the male sex drive being scientifically documented as much stronger than the female (especially in all adolescent stages).
Do you also read rather a lot of Penthouse Forum, by any chance?
Wow. You think very highly of yourself – bravo!
That’s right, only teenagers in “low brow, tacky area, with such unbelievably sleazy people” are having sex. If that were so, than why are there so many bitches like you reproducing so quickly? Hmmm….
What more can I say? You’ve described yourself and your snobbery to such an extent that I don’t have anything to add.
Enjoy your spa days. I’m so glad you don’t live anywhere near me so I don’t have to bitch slap your “elite” daughter when she tries to go too far with either of my sons. …. Ooooh, sorry, that’s right, we’re too “trashy” for you. Um, wait a minute, that can’t be right, because you suddenly started saying things like “blow him” and “jack him off”. Yeah, you are SO classy.
Be sure and spend tons on her at the spa, because lord knows you and she are gonna need all the pampering you can get before a hard cold dose of reality slaps you upside your “liberal minded-arts-focused-magnet-school-liberal-urban-elite” idiot head.
Oh, right, right, that must just be my jealousy of your pseudo-cultured life talking. Or, maybe that it’s that I’m “rather jealous of two kids who got to go to the upscale restaurant”. .
How the hell do you get off taking my original comment which was basically saying that it’s to everyone’s disadvantage when kids are in an oversexed environment and they grow up too fast and making it into an attack against my kids (or me) personally? Since your attacks have been so out of proportion to the situation and so vehemently directed at me, I conclude that one of the whores my son has turned down happens to be your 8th-grade rice-baby-toting daughter.
But don’t worry, I’m sure your angel will find someone less classy than my son at her “advantaged” school, and when she does get herself knocked up by the son of someone you take out on a cute little $200 date, I’m sure you fix the resulting accident before one of your spa appointments – maybe go ahead and get her a nose job and breast implants while you’re at it so that she’s got the advantage the next time she’s around “my kind”.
Ummm, again very, very weird conclusions you’re drawing there:
Firstly, there’s teen sex (at say, 16 or 17, which I’d still prefer my daughter abstain from) and there’s 20+ 8th grade girls at ONE middle school all preggers. HUGE difference. Actually, there’s a huge difference between teen and pre-teen girls having sex.
I’m honestly pretty sure you made your numbers up—because otherwise you HAVE outed your school district as the Jerry Springer Show. Not to mention, over 20 girls simultaneously pregnant would be a lot for a high school. At a middle school, it would be national news.
You were the one who said “over a dozen” girls tried to push your 12 year old son (and FYI, 12 is either 6th or 7th grade, not 8th) “past third base”. Third base is oral sex or a handjob. I know of very few 12 year old girls who don’t find the entire concept of this just completely and totally gross.
I can’t possibly imagine ANY pre-teen girl forcing any boy to let her blow him, let alone over a dozen. I further wonder how you know this? Did your son really come home and announce that Susie held him down and tried to suck him off? And the next day Mary and the day after that, Jenny?
I’m also mystified as to how fancy dinner = preteen parents. Just because a parent dropped a lot of $$$ on a dinner doesn’t mean the two 12 year olds did anything else. You admitted that this was a rumour. Maybe it’s completely fake, maybe this was that kid’s birthday celebration, maybe this was a friend moving far away and the dinner was “good-bye”. In any event, the parent didn’t drive them to the No Tell Motel and say “go at it kids!”.
Lastly, this is a forum to bring up differeing opinions. Frankly, the position of educating your 9 and 12 year old sons about the “whores out to ruin them” and “hookers in their classroom” is quite disturbing to me, so I commented.
That you view little girls (cause that’s what 9 and 12 year olds are) as sex crazed maniacs, fully unable to control their hormones on a mission to corrupt your sons is truly pathetic (and inaccurate).There’s definitely a preoccupation with sex, it clearly comes from you.
Again, your statistics are probably fabricated to justify your need to raise your sons Norman Bates style (his mom told him all women are filthy sluts, too) and something I simply don’t understand.
It’s completely possible to educate your children about sex and its consequences (and really telling a 9 year old girls are whores seeking to ensnare him is just creepy), without demonizing the entire opposite gender. But if you really are in the district you describe, then I feel sorry for you. And would suggest you move.
Don’t worry Bookgirl, Zumpie is just mad because she feels judged for letting her daughter dress like a tramp and have an iPhone in middle school.
I’m going to go have a spa day now, because that sounds nice.
Not mad (though a bit horrified and disgusted by women who objectify children) at all. Nor do I feel judged. As I stated, my daughter doesn’t “dress like a whore” (which is highly subjective, BTW), nor does she have an I-Phone. Nice reverse snobbery, tinged with significant jealousy (which is what this is really about), though.
And yes, our Spa Day was glorious. We can’t wait to do it again!!!
I have a neighbor girl (11 yrs old) who’s coming up that way. She dresses too old for her age, stilletto heels and too much make-up that is too dark for someone under 20. I refuse to let my 10 year old near her, and I sure as hell wouldn’t let my daughter around a girl like that. I do feel sorry for the kid, but my kids safety and well-being is more important. and Don’t feel like you’re being a prude. I started homeschooling my 10 year old because I was tired of all the crap he’d bring home from other kids. Things I didn’t want him to know about. Course I had a fit when h came home in 1 st grade complaining about his friends breaking up and getting back together with their Gfs…I was like what the hell happened to kids being kids. Between that, the safety drills for school shootings and 2 different PE teachers being pedophiles. I had enough of public school. But you aren’t wrong to teach your kids to stay away from oversexed peers. and to the chick arguing with you, you must be oblivious to alot of what goes on when parents aren’t around or aware. Kids are sponges and they learn what they see/hear, and with media being what it is, there’s alot out there to soak up you may be totally unaware of. And just because they seem school minded around you and others, doesn’t mean that’s how they are with other kids.
But upthread you said your son previously had perfect attendance—was this at your glorious homeschool?
That said, I A) very much doubt the neighbor girl has any interest in your son. and B) bet for all the judging you do of (again) a LITTLE GIRL and worrying about what everyone else is wearing, you regard yourself as a “good Christian”. Since most of your energy is directed in obsessing about the attire of others and systematically snubbing them—guess what? You aren’t.
As for girlfriends/boyfriends in the first grade, I vividly remember such things when I was a kid (as does my mom) and I’M 47. It’s more of a friend/role play/fantasy thing. Perfectly normal part of social/sexual development.
What isn’t normal? Your preoccupation with sex (it’s always been around) and viewing other children as objects.
As for my daughter “soaking up things”, it really isn’t an issue—because we’re open and honest with one another. In fact I let her read this thread. She laughed her butt off. And thought you were all super bat crap crazy.
And finally, while YOUR school isn’t quite as Springer-esque as the 20 8th grade girls knocked up, TWO pedophilic gym teachers???? Does your school not know how to check references? As for the drills, it’s kinda the same as the air raid drills they used to have. You know, when the commies were all gonna kill us.
What hell hole DO you people live in? I live in a largish, coastal city and grew up in NYC….all of these things would’ve been serious front page news. Perhaps you ladies feel compelled to fabricate JUST a teeeeeeny (read all this exists pretty much exclusively in your minds) bit? :-)
No it isn’t NY here, it is middle of fucking no where Amish Country Indiana. The school district my son WAS in, as of 2011-2012 school year has a fuck tard politician wanna-be for a Super intendant. This is a small town where your last name and who you know gets you farther then hard work and integrity do.
I took my son out of school due to bullying issues that had been reported and not dealt with, it is one of those ineffective anti-bullying programs that make it look like they are doing something on paper but the reality is they do dilly squat. and I never claimed to be a christian, thanks for being an ass and ASSUMing I was!
I remember being a kid in school too, my 4th-6th grade female classmates where honry little dumbasses (Thanks to media like 90210/Etc), I was the odd duck out for still being into kids stuff instead of boys. But I’m not going to debate with you further because you are right and everyone else is dumb and misinformed in Your opinion.
So keep with your opinion. I hope the girls you know are exactly what you think they are and you don’t get a rude awakening about human nature someday, I don’t think you could handle it.
Wow.
1) Actually, you do have my sympathy about the bullying issues. My daughter was bullied, so I know how painful that can be. Part of why we pushed to get her into the art focused magnet school she’s now in is because we knew it would be a better environment for her.
2) I remember being in 4th-6th grade. While we again “liked” boys and talked about them, that’s certainly about as far as it went. It’s as far as it goes nowadays, too. I really think many of the posters here equate “want to wear sparkly skinny jeans” with “total whore”. Again, I find this disturbing. And the fault is not with the little girls or the manufacturers of sparkly jeans—it’s with adults like yourselves who can possibly see children in such a way.
3) You sound like a very unhappy, rather bitter person–and I’m honestly sorry things are that way for you. Even in both NYC (where I grew up) and PDX (where I live now) there’s nepotism—it’s simply part of life.
I think you somewhat obsessively judge the clothing of others and overprotect your children to compensate for all the elements of your life you feel are beyond your control. There are always things we can’t control. Let it go and find some happiness–instead focusing so negatively.
4) Now you’ve “ASSumed” (dude, seriously?? Pet dinosaur time!) something. I’m older than you are and have lived in major cities, not podunk towns. I also had a fairly chaotic/unconventional childhood. I can handle anything and then some! I’ve been to super bad and come back, whole and happy.
Do I want to make sure my daughter doesn’t experience some of what I did? Absolutely—but I also get that she needs to live her life and learn form her own mistakes and decisions. And the simple fact that he childhood has been very conventional already addresses some of that.
5) I gather you specifically mean if she were to become pregnant—-women in this country still have a choice. And part of being a responsible parent is explaining contraception—along with the “I’d prefer you wait until you’re an adult AND that you tell me about this”.
If you mean drugs or drinking, she thinks such things are completely gross and stupid.
Again, it’s suprising how well things work when instead of freaking out over a few sequins, you talk to your kids abouty these things—so they’re grounded, happy and feel trusted.
CONDOMS ARE CHEAPER THAN DIAPERS. OMG!!!! Perfect! Saving that one for my 10 year old when he starts ogling the prostitots and eskihoes. I am ever thankful that he is in Catholic grade school and we don’t have to worry about the hoochies. The worst we have is a dancer who wears eyeliner – she started in the 4th grade. I couldn’t wear lip gloss until 8th grade. Times have certainly changed. I have to confess – I was the rich tooth fairy. We didn’t even know his tooth was loose, so we were totally unprepared. It fell out and he was traumatized by the fact that a part of his body had just rejected him. Anyway, neither one of us had anything smaller than a $20. It was SO wrong. Every tooth thereafter – $1.
Once again, very, very gross that you’re parents yet you view someone else’s child through such a sexualized lens. The issue isn’t with the wearer of the eyeliner (who would be a child role playing for the most part), but the adult who sees a little girl in such overtly sexualized manner.
BTW, I’m 47 and was one of the last kids permitted to wear make up and I was 12. And that was in Kansas (while living with my Great Aunt and Uncle)—I’m completely mystified by all the 1950′s style pearl clutching and false uproar that goes on here. I strongly suspect many of the moms present are younger than I am, yet you all sound like you’re a pack of very old ladies
Zumpie, I sound like an old lady because I am. I’m 51 .the girl with the eyeliner is violating a written school rule. I’m not sexualizing her or objectifying her. I think she needs to be reminded of the rules – but the administration let’s her get away with it. She is one of the sweetest girls I know. I don’t think wearing makeup in 5th grade is acceptable.
Ooooooohhhhh violating a school rule!!! Whatever, she probably thinks herself quite daring over the eyeliner, I find it rather entertaining myself. Also, the school really has a dress code forbidding make-up?
BTW, you’re only 4 years older than I am and I certainly don’t consider myself old and have no plans to old lady myself in the next 4 or even 14 years.
… you right! you right! you are SO right!
Amy recently posted..A Day Shared
hilarious!! I got the book over here to Italy from Amazon. Best shopping ever!!
Awesome. The birthday party show-offs are the worse, I think. Because then my kids are all, “Mommy, can’t we have The Fresh Beat Band perform at our party?” Dammit.
Scroogy recently posted..My Sister Wife
Oh my gawd. My worst nightmare! But you just made me laugh out loud. Could you imagine?
And now I’ll have their songs in my head all day. Damn you! LOL
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Prosti-tots! My 13 month old was given TWO bikinis for her 1st birthday by the inlaws. Uhm? never mind the skank factor but the UV exposure? Hello?
And the rest of the list… uhm, yes, agreed.
*rolling eyes*
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I totally agree about all of these! Except #8… because really, it’s just payback for all the times I have brought my crazed kid home from a birthday party hopped up on sugar straws (really??) and Orange Crush (again… really?). I stopped short this year of sending the kids home with their very own sling shots in their loot bags. I’m not totally evil.
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Oh yea, I have to agree with your list! I’d like to add #11–parents who allow their kids to participate in whatever they want, Ex: little kids with their own cell phone or Facebook (what the heck?)
Then the world wonders why YOUNG people are so wild, promiscuous and sex-centered. They have access TO EVERYTHING TOO EARLY!!
Let them be little kids, dangit!
My 11 year old daughter is so pissed because she does not have access to the internet OR a cell phone. For one, I don’t think she is old enough, and for two, I think she needs to have a job to pay for it herself if she wants it. In my opinion, kids today are too entitled. I was 19 before I had a cell phone. I don’t necessarily plan to make them wait THAT long, but 11 is still too young if you ask me. Hell, they can’t keep Christmas toys past April, so I am damn sure not giving them expensive electronics to tear up. LOL
THANK YOU! I am so sick of the cell phone fight. -No, you do not need one in 6th grade especially after you just lost a $60 watch you got for Christmas within weeks.-
Ugh.
OMG…pros-ti-tots, I love it!!! I have a 12 year old daughter and I refuse to let her dress anyway she wants, I’m paying for the clothes after all. She’s 12 with the body of a 15/16 yrold and there’s NO way she’s leaving my house in booty shorts or a mini-skirt. My rule is the length has to be below the fingertips. Just wish her father and stepmother thought like me…tell me since when is it appropriate for a 12 yro w a 34 B+ to wear a spaghetti strap tank top to school??
Actually here in Arizona all children from elementary school to high school are not allowed to wear tank tops unless the strap is 3 fingers width thick. and that is 3 adult fingers width. No shorts unless under or just above the knee anything shorter you get written up and sent home. No holes in your clothes at all ever.
My daughter goes to high school in Mesa, the girls don’t follow the dress code. Jr high was really good about dress coding them but the High school doesn’t care what the kids wear at all. I wish we could keep the hairspray and perfumes out of the classrooms, my daughter has an asthma attack almost every day in her English class from perfume. I have talk to the school with no follow up.
I feel lucky. Our schools, all grades, are strict about dress codes. If you are not in compliance, mama gets a call and the kids goes home or mama brings appropriate clothing. And if the kid goes home, it is marked as an unexcused absence.
Schools here will call for replacement clothing or if it’s high school send the kid home to change.
I’d also add my current parental nemeses — the parents who pack complete junk in their kids’ lunchboxes. My 4yo was doing great with her PB&J, milk box, fresh fruit and yogurt for a long time. But then she started noticing the other kids’ chocolate milk, juice boxes and Scoopy snacks. And it’s been a losing battle ever since. Bastards.
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It’s even harder as they get older. For my 7yo and 6yo I buy one ‘treat’ snack a fortnight, normal a 8 pk of muesli bars or those ‘Fruit’ tangles so thats 4 days in 10 they get a junk snack. If they whine about what it is they miss out next fortnight.
Yes, totally had to return the butt-huggers my MIL bought my 5 year old. My teenage niece might wear them, but NOT my kids. Bermudas at school till she is out of high school or she pays for her own. And my FIL is a #2.
My hubs and I kinda like the fish, we get as giddy as the kids. As for the birthday parties, I try to do crafty stuff to make it cool but other than that I can only do what my wallet allows and that is not much.
Love the pros-ti-tots (the word not the mini pole dancers). My 8-yr-old recently told me he saw a girl friends “privates” because her shorts we so short when she bent over on the playground she flashed everyone! Come on parents!
I am guilty of #9. No fevers or puking, of course, but if my kid has a cold, he caught it from school, so we are sharing it back. They’re all going to get it anyway.
And I’m going to go after someone if my kid comes home with lice. Nas-ty.
Kerry Ann (aka Vinobaby) recently posted..A paycheck can’t buy time
My six year old son went to a party that had Coke to drink. Who the hell gives six year old boys caffiene?
Our tooth fairy gives $1.00. My sister’s gives $10.00. I told my kids that we were of a different route and ours must be hit hard by the economy.
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$10…!?! Wow!
I’ve told my kids that our toothfairy believes in saving your money so they get a dollar.
10$?!? Holy cow! Are these teeth or gold nuggets?
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A friend shared a tooth fairy secret that dealt with this different cash amounts perfectly- I loved it. She told me that the tooth fairy pays by weight, of course. That other kid must have had one HUGE tooth to get that much! I also love the different fairies on different routes too. :)
We went to a four year old’s party where they served Coke. Ridiculous! My daughter knew to ask for water instead. Can you imagine a room full of four and five year olds on a caffeinated sugar high? Insane.
What is it about the lice thing? Is it classic denial? Or thinking your kid is above lice? This is one area where I am actually NOT a slacker parent. I would die before sending my child to school with a less than completely lice free head.
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I’m 24, have no children of my own, and my mom (& dad!) still like to monitor what I wear because they don’t want me to give off the wrong impression. Mama says how we look gives the first impression of who we are and our values. For the girls that aren’t dressing appropriately now, imagine how they’ll look in 20 years!
I hope my kids can be trusted to dress themselves by the time they’re 24.
I am 32 and if I looked like a ho, my mother would have no problem saying so. I am sure Virginia’s parents don’t pick her clothes out for her, but probably tell her when she is not dressed appropriately. No reason to be so catty.
You’ve missed the point. By the time a person is 24, she should know what’s appropriate and what’s not. If you (at 32) are dressing like “a ho,” then you probably know that, don’t you? Do you really need your mommy to point it out?
my kids’ teeth stay under their pillows for days and days…they say “really mom? 5 days, and no money?” – so now I don’t give them money- I gave them baseball cards
How about parents who give away noisemakers in goody bags? They’re near the top of my list. Right under the carnival fish.
Julia’s Child / Sarah P. recently posted..Update: The Child Who Needed a Pet
great list, and i have one more. the “gift” givers who provide your kid with things like drum sets, giant princess tents and talking dora heads. and of course since it’s a gift, it’s hard to make it just disappear in the dark of night, not that i would ever do that…
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If you give my children toys that make noise I will hire a marching band to show up at your house at 3 AM.
It is amazing effective.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..I Wish Some Of You Would Just Shut Up
genius! i am ON IT.
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Usually kids get those gifts from grandparents well at least mine did. So i started leaving those toys behind saying ” this is a grandma house toy” They stopped buying those annoying things.
ours are usually from the bachelor uncle. i should maybe just leave the kid behind for a few hours and he would start to understand!!
Anna recently posted..Old Photo Friday: At the Zoo
That’s exactly what I do! It has effectively put a stop to noisy toys!
That’s brilliant!!
Noisy toys come from two kind of people: those who don’t have kids or those who don’t like you.
Rebecca Schorr recently posted..Special Delight
I do the same thing! This toy lives at Grama’s house. LOL
Yes! Noisy toys and messy toys. My mother was obsessed with the idea of giving my son finger paints when he was 3. I told her she could only do that if he could use them at her house. For some reason she never followed through on her threat. My husband’s mother is the noisy toy giver. And we definitely either leave those toys at her house or at least bring them over whenever we visit!
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My husband’s well-off aunt and uncle recently sent our 2 year old a roller coaster. It’s 8all feet long! Where the hell am I supposed to put that?! It certainly isn’t going to fit anywhere in the house….at least not with her recliner and cardboard house in here, too. They’re upset that I haven’t put it together yet, but c’mon. Just because your house is massive doesn’t mean ours is!
I haven’t had to deal with numbers 5 and 10 yet.
As for number 1… I taught my kids that if they won a goldfish at one of these things they had to swollow it… No more “MOM! I want to play the goldfish game!”
I am not going to bullshit you. I have totally sent my kids to school in less than stellar health and just crossed my fingers. Not dragging on the floor while vomiting, but definitely not at 100%.
They’re just so…………loud.
My apologies. I am also a cheapskate who thought the going rate on teeth was a shiny new quarter.
*sigh*
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I have to add those parents that are trying to be nice and ask your child over for a play date. Pick them up before lunch and bring them back way after bed time and the first thing you child ask for is food because they weren’t given lunch or dinner! I HATE THAT! If i invite a child to my home for the entire day I will be treating and taking care of that child maybe even better than my own. LOL . For GOD sake feed the children!
That is seriously strange..
I’ve stopped letting my kids go over for play dates to certain peoples homes because of this. Happens a lot more often than you think. Parents want play dates because it keeps their child out of their hair. Who cares if they eat or not. If I were you i’d ask my child next time they go for a play date. lol
I have never come across that.
Who on earth doesn’t feed a kid?
I had one very neglectful mom not only drop her daughter off THREE HOURS EARLY for a sleep over, but didn’t bother to feed her breakfast or lunch. As soon as the door shut, the kid begged me for food. But that particular mom was kinda dysfunctional.
It’s also possible the parents in question simply had food your kid didn’t care for—so your kid didn’t eat. I can’t imagine ANY kid over all day at my house and NOT requesting food.
My children arent the type of kids to turn food down ever lol. Heck they are the kids that prefer veggies over candy any day of the week. I have no idea where they came from since momma has a bad sweet tooth lol
lol, a long time former friend of mine did that with her kids constantly, dumped them on me, didn’t feed them all day, they eat me out of house and home and she didn’t bother to offer compensation.
In that respect she’s a nutter and a mooch, she’s went so far as to leave the kids with me for almost 3 days and not tell me before hand that it isn’t just overnight nor being able to get her to answer the phone, I was ready to call the cops when her oldest tells me she does this all the time. I finally got ahold of the boys’ adult sister to come get them.
A day long play date. Eeek! I would loose my mind.
I made the rule of an afternoon, or if it’s a sleep over coming late in the afternoon and calling your parents to pick you up after breakfast. That’s long enough
Although we had a situation of kids being dropped off for a birthday party and not being picked up on time and the parents were unreachable. Needless to say, they didn’t get an invitation next time around.
The same has to be said of Parties in the Uk . ! and of the parents who often spent hundreds of pounds on the parties !
Totally guilty of the $10 tooth. But but but, in fairness, he’s my youngest, he waited soooo long to lose his first tooth and dammit, we only had a $10 bill in the house! It is totally understood though that every subsequent tooth will be a mere dollar from the Tooth Fairy.
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Yup. We told our son that the first lost tooth is a really, really big deal. He got $5. When he lost his second tooth: $1. It’s the going rate and that’s that. He’s totally good with it, which is nice.
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This is so hilarious I must do this on my blog x
I must do this on my blog its hilarious xxx
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My friend was at her 6 year old daughter’s soccer game yesterday, where she observed (out loud) that one of the girls on the opposing team was being really rough and pushing a lot. The girl’s mom heard her, marched over, and pushed my friend! This was a woman in her 30′s!
So, yeah- agreed on the crazy sports moms.
Guerrilla Mom recently posted..The baby shower. An exercise in futility.
Prosti-tots and eski-hoes!!!! LMAO!!! Thanks for the new vocabulary!!!!
Jeez, you took the freakin words right out of everybody else’s brain and organized them so that we knew what we were really thinking. Thanks! lol
Kristen Mae recently posted..How to Win the Lottery
Oh man, been there with the tooth fairly B.S. for sure! We were in the ped’s office and some little girl was going on to my son about how she got $20 for her first tooth! Insanity.
Elaine recently posted.."The Bronx is up and the Battery’s down…"
Amen to all of the above. Can we put mother-in-laws on here too?
Anjie @ Of Pandas and Pirates recently posted..Pictures
Not all mother in laws are evil. mine is awesome & I am one too. I try to be very respectful of their marriages, ask what would be appropriate or what the grandkids need before purchasing. While I may offer an opinion (and leave it at that ) once in awhile, I never try to be a know it all but a good friend instead.
I know not all are evil, mine used to be good but now she is driving me CRAZY! Can you give her a call and give her some tips?!?! ;)
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My mum-in-law is like you. She is awesome, I love her. She always asks what the kids want or need. She will offer advice but never make a big deal if I don’t agree or follow it. If I broke up with her son she would most likely blame him :)
Okay, I’m “crazy sports mom” but I only cheer on the team – I don’t yell at the refs or any of the players. I am loud and the only parent doing this. I’m waiting for the day when my 8yo or 4yo tell me to shut the hell up. Can’t believe it hasn’t happened yet.
At least I’m involved & not talking or texting on my cell phone during my kid’s game! :)
I’m a ‘positive’ crazy sports mum too! I’m loud and will yelling positive incouragement to my kid and the rest of the team (I even cheer if someone on the other team is awesome). I would never be negative at the ref, other team, parents or players. Thats just wrong.
With my older child we were the first Bar Mitzvah. Everyone was pleased, grateful and relieved that we set the bar low. Really low. I considered it my own mitzvah for Jewish parents everywhere – particularly in our neighborhood.
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Man oh man, we are planning my son’s Bar Mitzvah now and I am thankful that he will be among the first of friends and family. Should save me some grief.
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Wait, why is it a problem that a family I know rode into the Bar Mitzvah on an elephant? You can’t follow that up?
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Wow. Sure can’t and I won’t…however, my mom might try.
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Ha. Tell her to get launched into the party via space shuttle.
PHEW! Thankfully I AM NOT ANY of these! LOL
lol.
Keia recently posted..Electronic Reading
RE: #4, the correct term is PROSTI-TOT! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
In regards to #5, all of you parents who use this, try thinking through your reasoning and articulating it. Provided your reason isn’t as complex as quantum physics, your child can and will understand you. They may not like your reason, but you will be teaching them to have real reasons for the things that they do. The single word “because” is not an answer to anything, nor is the answer “because I said so.” It irritates me that parents use these responses as answers. Teach your children to be articulate, to have reasons for the things that they do, and to be answerable for those reasons.
Personally, I hate it when teachers share their opinion as fact. When I was in the first grade – years and years ago – my teacher told our class that all hunters are evil. Regardless of your thoughts on the matter, this is not something to say to a 6 year old child whose parents hunt. My parents didn’t hunt for sport. They hunted to put meat on the table (we were very poor, and couldn’t afford very much; we grew our own vegetables and my parents hunted for venison to provide meat for the year. My response as a 6 year old to this was to ask my parents, in tears, why they were evil for hunting. Opinions for things such as abortion, homosexuality, religion and many others are not in the purview of teachers to share. A person’s views on this should be dictated by them personally, and never put out into a classroom as fact. Especially in an elementary school setting.
CJ,
Thank you for your opinion. You are wrong. Want to know why?
Because.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..A Father Describes Parenting
No, please elucidate. “Because” tells me nothing at all, so in essence, you have no reason. Simple fact.
Elucidate comes from the Middle English word Eluwdicriate which was used by the Court Jester to announce to the court that they were a silly fool. So actually when you use the word you are saying that you are a silly fool.
Not to go off on a history lesson but as it evolved over time it was only used when by the speaker to acknowledge that their comments weren’t based upon fact or reason. They were simply silly statements.
So if we take your use in its historical context I am not really supposed to take it seriously which leads us back to our initial spot which says that you are wrong for the simple reason of “because.”
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Can You Write a Funny Post
Your fictional etymology doesn’t deserve more of a response than this. Here’s my advice to you: stop trolling on the internet, you are degrading the intelligence of people the globe over. Also, might as well add this: one doesn’t use words in their historical context, one uses them in their contemporary context. Anyone who has two brain cells to beat together can manage that particular conclusion.
CJ,
Some people might say that a troll is someone who “walks” onto a blog and proclaims that they know more than everyone else. But I wouldn’t dare suggest that to someone who can use words like etymology because only someone really smart would possibly know what that word means.
Furthermore if we really wanted to play this game I would suggest that we need to come to a consensus as to what age child you are referring to in your initial remarks in which you suggested that proper parenting requires explaining to our children why we made a particular decision.
Of course I am only asking this because made it clear that specifics are necessary. So I would like to follow this line of thought further.
Let’s say that child number one is trying to slide down the banner on the staircase while child number two asks if they can take a knife to cut some fruit.
Meanwhile child number three calls out from the other room that they would like to watch this great show called Sexy Time.
Because of your expertise in parenting I am sure you will be able to explain how to stop time so that we can explain to each child exactly why they can or cannot engage in said their respective activities because if we don’t they’ll clearly be scarred for life and incapable of rational thought or action.
I love experts, they are so very smart and cool.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Can You Write a Funny Post
No, sorry, I can’t tell you how to stop time or manage your children, that’s your job as a parent. I can tell you that older children and teenagers deserve more of a reason than “because.” Does your boss accept “because” as an answer to the question “Why were you two hours late today?” I can be pretty certain that your boss will not accept that as an answer. Just because you hold a position of authority over someone does not mean that they are less than you, and should be treated as such. As for your example of 4 kids that you can’t seem to get on the same page and have teach them some semblance of indoor behavior, I’d say that’s a “your problem.” If you can’t handle having that many kids, then maybe try, oh I don’t know, NOT having that many kids? Seems fairly logical to me. Also, here is another pro tip if you are overwhelmed by all of those kids asking those questions and doing potentially physically dangerous things all at the same time: try prioritizing. Talk to the kids who are going to hurt themselves the worst first. That usually works pretty well. Also, please, do try to learn the difference between someone offering an opinion, and someone claiming to be an expert, I never claimed that I was an expert in parenting. I had an opinion and I shared it. You got offended. That’s another “your problem.” Let’s try this one on for size. I won’t make another response if you throw another sarcastic reply out to this one. You are simply not worth any more of my time. You think you know everything, just as you accuse me of thinking. It is apparent that you don’t know everything, it is equally apparent that I do not know everything, and never will. Like I said, stop trolling forums and trying to start fights. I was only looking to share my opinion as others were, so I did. You decided that I was wrong and had to share your opinion as well. Kudos. Now that that is established, perhaps we can move on to something a trifle more productive, shall we? Have a WONDERFUL day Jack, and btw, I hope all of your children, hypothetical or not, are safe, and know that their father obviously cares for them enough to teach them why they shouldn’t do certain things, and why they should do others.
Where is the ‘Like’ button when you need it? I thought this was a great argument, I loved reading it. Somehow, I can relate to both sides. Nothing is ever black and white in my world. I don’t want to say ‘because I said so’ to my kids, but my older son asks 100 questions a minute and never listens to any of my responses and I happened to be a human. Sometimes I am only able to answer the first 500 questions a day because I’ve got better things to do. Did I have too many kids for my own good? Probably. But if I wasn’t perfect before I had kids, I sure am not gonna get perfect now.
I have one!
The parent that gives their kids really expensive fast high performance cars when they turn 16 and never taught them to actually drive first.
These people buy their kids cars we buy ourselves when we get our kids out of the house, then when the kid wrecks the car because she or he is a moron and doesn’t understand the power of that vehicle they buy the child another expensive car. So when exactly is that child going to learn how to behave in an automobile?
Sweety Darlin recently posted..I am not allowed to Drink and Talk!
This is great.
I’m really not feeling the mini hookers, obnoxious sports parents, the people who want to send my kid home wired from parties, and those who lack proper lice removal techniques & notification of lice! It’s all just wrong.
Haha! 4 and 7 yes! Regarding 10… The braggarts who are always fishing for compliments, oohs and ahhhs from other people and hoping to start a “my kid is so awesome and brilliant” bidding war. Nice one.
OMG, the lice! I was actually looking at the parents picking up their kids at school and wondering …..who is it?!
Totally w/you on the dressing like whores. IT AIN’T CUTE FOR YOU OR YOUR FUCKING CHILD TO HAVE JUICY ACROSS YOUR ASS. I have never EVER given candy at a party. Sure, my kids get pissed that their friends are going home w/Craisins, but MY friends, their mothers, are happy as hell.
Arnebya recently posted..This Is How I Feel
My son considers me the meanest mom on the planet. I don’t send candy or toys home. Crayons, markers (washable, of course) folders, last year blank comic books the kids could illustrate to their hearts’ content. Yeah, I’m that mom and proud of it :)
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Beth, you are awesome.
Keia recently posted..Electronic Reading
Also, our tooth fairy is a lazy, forgetful heifer. If she bothers to remember, you will be lucky to get some change, b/c she’ll write your ass an i.o.u. in a minute.
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Arnebya, love it!
Keia recently posted..Electronic Reading
Hahaha! My son has yet to lose that first tooth, but I don’t think I have to worry. Though he has talked about his friends getting $5, he still loves quarters. So he’ll probably get a couple of those and be happy.
These are all so true – but you forgot the room mom who throws the over the top classroom parties and makes us mere mortal moms feel bad. I’ve embraced my inner – slacker parent, I’m much happier.
Denise Malloy recently posted..Joy in Mudville
Hey! that’s me…I’ve gotta make up for my other slacker parenting moments somehow. Okay, really I’m not that bad…but I do like to send extra special things to school on my sons birthday for him and the other kids.
Keia recently posted..Electronic Reading
a-men
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The sniffles is one thing. Having vomited the night before is another. And when you have little kids, it’s going to go around the entire class and then to you. Don’t people want their kids to be home when they feel bad? That’s what I don’t get. Think about the kids.
Lice? I’m bitter too. I’ve now found a smelly preventive spray.
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#9 is for the ones trying to achieve the perfect attendance award. Right?
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Thank you, thank you for this! This list should be put in all those diaper bags that are given out at the hospital when you give birth, because a lot of those folks turn into the parents you have just described!! I once went to a kid’s party were the parent actually put fishbowls on the tables as centerpieces, so of course all the kids (including my own) were battling over who got to take the fish home (thankfully we didn’t win). And seriously people, this summer when your kid comes home from camp, GO FOR A LICE CHECK!! We had so many infestations at our school this year; some parents are totally clueless! Whew, I feel better!
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#2 is my DAD. I had to stop telling him when my kids’ games are going on. When he does come, I immediately start apologizing in advance to everyone I see. So.embarassing!!
I embrace the hell out of mediocre. I think I squeezed it so hard it farted.
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# 3 the rich toothfairy–baaahahah. Just today I pulled a loose molar out of my 10 yr old daughter’s (youngest of 6) mouth and she said, “Can I just through this away?” I said, “Yes, absolutely. The tooth fairy wasn’t going to come anyway.” heh heh heh
#7 parents who don’t affectively kill lice. OH DEAR GOD!!!! I want to _____ one particular parent over this on going problem. And I am bitter as well!!! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
I’m guilty of #6 to a small degree… I love entertaining and artsy type stuff, but I’m a technology consultant and NEVER get to do that kind of stuff. So, I do tend to be going a little overboard now that I can because I have a kid and an excuse to. :) I try not to do 8 though.
9 drives me crazy, my issue is daycare not school, but still… they send their sick kid in, then my kid gets sick, then I get sick… grrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Oh and whatever happened to a quarter for a tooth and dollar for a molar? I’m not that old and that’s what it was when I was growing up.
Barbara recently posted..DIY I-Spy Bag
This cracked me up…and particularly #7, as here in the UK, the schools are not ALLOWED to send home a note that says “your kid has lice, don’t send them back until it has been treated” because it is considered discrimination.
Really?
It is endless at our school. *scratches head* My husband never gets them, but I’ve had them 5 times since moving here – never once while I was in school myself.
My sister introduced me to Justice on our last trip home when she gave my daughter THE hoochiest outfit I’ve ever seen on a 6 year old. Can’t wait to move home to that next year.
Jenn recently posted..No Separation Anxiety Here
My kids school (other side of the world) doesn’t send a “Your kid has cooties!” note but they do send a full page letter stating a kid in the class has lice. It includes instructions on how to check your kid, best prevention methods, how to kill them and even what is the best product at our chemist.
Right on to all of them – especially #4! Can we place a moratorium on teen girls wearing the sweatpants with writing on the ass? Who told Victoria’s Secret that they were allowed to take out ad space on the bums of America’s youth? Unless you get a check for royalties, in which case, college fund?! Okay, maybe not….
#11. The mothers who name their children the most ridiculous names on the planet. Names which ensure they will end up in therapy.
A few months back I met a 3 year old girl whose full legal name was Princess. I wish I was kidding. I talk about the experience here:
http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/03/03/princess-on-the-playground/
The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..What Do You Think Of The Rutgers Verdict?
I hate Justice. I wish someone would drop a bomb on that store.
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I love this post
Can I add mother-in-laws and their fussy “your doing it wrong, here it should be like this” ways?! You’ve had your turn- move over grandma!! This can also apply to your own parent…
I can relate to this one. I was out shopping with my MIL and my son, then aged 2. He had been playing up and when we got to the checkout he was whingeing for sweets (candy). I said a firm no. What did MIL do? She picked up the sweets and said “I will get them for you dearie”. I could have strangled her, but instead I maintained my cool and said “No you won’t” and I handed them back to the cashier. The look on MIL’s face was priceless.
While I’m the one more likely to say “yes”, I would love to put a look like that on MIL’s face! Fortunately, I’m a better parent, with a closer relationship to my daughter than either my mom (single mom of three) or my MIL (totally self involved)….so my kid will always take my side, anyway.
Even more irritating though are relatives who don’t have children, but tell you how to parent them. In my case, my child-free brother and sister-in-law LOVE to tell me everything that I do wrong, as well as letting my daughter know how “not good enough” her efforts and interests are.
And then they’ll whine about how she doesn’t want to be close to them.
Oh, NUMBER TWO!!!! We are in the middle of softball season, so, yeah.
Teachers hate when parents don’t treat lice effectively too. And I apologize on behalf of all teachers for the ‘because’ thing.
Jules recently posted..I Went From Cute to Resplendent
My kids went to a carnival and won a RABBIT. I let them play because nobody ever wins those games, right? Yea, right. That rabbit started out as big as a hamster and weighs over 12 pounds now and I had to go buy a $100 cage for him. My daughter got some hand-me-downs from a friend and the undies say “eye-candy” on the butt. Seriously!? They’re 7, for God’s sake.
Prosti-tots and Eski-hoes!!!
“Diva” or Princess” shirts already get my blood boiling. As for the writing on the bum, only a baby can get away with “Juicy Couture” across her butt…
Sick kids at school are the bane of my existence. As much as we all want to send the virus back where they got it, and they got it at school, there’s just too damned many of them (viruses) and it’s not fair to the kid.
Too bad there aren’t alternatives for working parents. You use up your sick days tending sick kids, trying to save vacation days for doctors, dentists, etc, end up using those too, and then end up having to send the kids to school sick anyway (while feeling like a total turd of a parent knowing how crappy the kid feels) because you have to keep your job.
Then the whole neighborhood’s mad at you and everyone at work is mad at you for coming to work sick because you don’t dare use a sick day on yourself just because you feel like you’re dying because you need them all for your kids.
I love this site because I can just remember how it was, lol Some of you Mommies just crack me up and I so can use a good laugh now and then. I have my 2 year old great-grandson living with us and for his second birthday my granddaughter bought him a cake, some Diego balloons and we went to the playground at McDonalds. He could have cared less about the stuff he just love “playing” with his small friends and being at the playground. We usually give bubbles for thank you gifts. My granddaughter just had her 5th bd party at the park and her Mom had no sweets, just healthy foods. Not sure about goodie bags because I was sick and couldn’t go. For her birthday I gave her a five dollar bill in her card (she was 5) and will increase it each year another dollar. I also gave her Mom some extra money to buy something she “needs”. For my granddaughter in CO I sent her $3 in her bd card and a check for her Mom to get her something “needed”. The cost of shipping is so damn much this is just a better way to handle it.
I hate fish no matter where they come from, hubby loves them.
My 5 year old granddaughter’s Mother is very, very strict on how she can dress so I don’t have to worry about her ever being in anything skimpy. Pretty sure the same for my 3 year old GD also.
Again enjoyed all your comments.
I remember when my son lost his first tooth (preschool) and brought the quarter he got to “share time” one of the dads said out loud “a quarter? You gave him a quarter? What you couldn’t find a penny?”
Love it! So very true!!
I’m a middle school teacher, which means I see each and every one of these parents throughout the year. Conferences are the worst! The droves of parents that want to come in, wasting my time, to hear that their child is a great student and individual. They never leave! I’m not here to bring up your (maybe that of your child, but not your) self esteem, I’m here to talk to parents whose children really need support.
Cassie recently posted..A Disappointing Day…So Far
Ugh, I’m guilty of the sick kid one, but like igaudet says… I work. I use up my sick days (3 a YEAR… Whose kids are only sick three days out of a year? And these count for me as well so let’s pray to the illness gods that I am not sick at all in a damn year… Yeah. Right) taking care of the kids. My paid time off and vacation are one in the same so if I call off I use up my vacation time too. I don’t get “personal” days or any other time off. So exactly what am I supposed to do when I provide my child’s livelihood? I try to gauge how sick they truly are and hope for the best. I’m sorry if you are pissed off at me, but maybe you’d like to find me a job that actually cares when I have a sick child at home! Until then, yes I will send my kid to school with a cold or having thrown up the night before because, frankly, we don’t have a choice in the matter. I’m relieved when they get sick on a Friday because that means I have the entire weekend to tend to them!
Oh. And while I’m at it. Fuck goldfish. And over the top birthday parties. Why? Because I said so.
Great list! I am with you on all of them!
The ice cream truck at the play ground right before dinner is my worst enemy.
For the most part, I’m with you on this (especially goldfish and elaborate birthday parties – my kid was handed a goldfish with her goodie bag at one of those stupid over-the-top birthday parties)…but…
1) Yeah, I kept my sick kid home, and then I started getting threatening letters from the school because she missed four days. She had influenza, a high fever and I even took in copy of the doctor visit on day two, and they still sent me nasty notes. You tell me which to choose – your kid getting sick, or a visit from the school cops.
2) Yeah, I gave your kid cake at the end of the party. Who wants ten kids on a sugar high throughout the entire party? They’re already horrid enough. Beastly creatures.
I. adore. you. :D Beastly creatures…lol So true, isn’t it? I absolutely love my daughter. I love my best friend’s three kids. That’s kind of where it ends. :D
Glad to know I’m not alone.
Unless you were just being funny. Hmmm…..In that case, I still don’t like most of the beastly little things. LOL
Susan recently posted..Our House
you forgot the people that make dolls for little girls dressed like hookers. not just the bratz dolls. celebrities that “accidentally” release sex tapes to get more publicity. the crazy-ass room mother that thinks any kind of assistance is stepping on their toes. pediatricians and other “experts” that don’t have kids.
How about the parents of young children who buy them ridiculously expensive electronic devices and then let them take them to school so your kids will then hit you with “but so n so has an iPad and he’s 7…”
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..Target Practice: Why I Can’t Get Out Of There Without Spending $100 and Experiencing A Kid Meltdown
This is a hilarious list! And so true. I HATE the lice and sick kid parent behavior the most!
Dara Dokas recently posted..My "Tuties"
I agree with the “If your child barfs it’s a 24hr dissmisil.” BUT, my son has a stomach issue and he will be sent home to go to the Dr’s upon nurses request and comes out of the appt with a good bill of health. I swear we are sent to his Dr. every freaking week. For anything. Yes, sometimes he is sick but most of the time the teacher could piss him off enough he will get sick. I could go on and on about this freaking school. (He is autistic and deaf)
Too funny! #10 Sports Parents is hilarious. Last weekend an umpire and a parent got into a stare down over a strike being called a ball. Wow…It’s a game, aren’t “games” supposed to be fun?
So true…my daughter is having a birthday party this weekend. She is turning three. A fellow mommy asked me what the “theme” I had picked for her party. I said “I don’t know. Princesses, burgers, and beer??” It is kind of a memorial day party as well :) I think she was a little shocked
Heidi Bryan recently posted..My Mommy has boobies!!!
Okay, I only partially agree with the list:
I’m actually okay about the goldfish—buy a little bowl, sprinkle some flakes and you’re pretty much done. Of course, I’d be thrilled with a kitty or puppy as a prize (and feed stray kitties that prowl around my yard), so you should consider the source.
Except for vile pageant wear, I don’t see all THAT much prosti-tot clothing—including at Justice. Now Justice’s clothes are ugly, a bit glittery and expensive, but they don’t offend me. And for the record, my daughter wears primarily American Girl stuff, so she always looks like a lady.
I am fully and completely guilty of being the best party thrower at my daughter’s school. I used to be a catering director and I enjoyed it. BTW, it’s frequently not much more expensive to have a party at the pool/bowling center/amusement park than it is to buy all the paper goods, etc and do it at home.
I’m not going to hop your kid up on sugar, but we will have cake and soda. And guess what? While you might’ve bought ONE gift as a guest (and brought your kid over), I spent a ton of $$$ and time planning this thing. Cake and b’days go together. Be grateful I’m also watching your child for a couple of hours and spending MY $$$ to entertain them at the pool/bowling center/amusement park.
I do agree about the sports parents and competitiveness, though. I always find it hilarious that every other parent on every blog has a straight A, star athlete, ultra popular perfect child who LOVES doing chores. Maybe in your fantasy world that’s your kid…..
And with sports parents—-we’re non-athletic and that’s precisely what I’m happy to not deal with.
OMG! Perfectly said . . . again! I’m still holding a grudge against the girl who gave my daughter lice! And don’t even get me started on dressing your kids like whores!
Shannon recently posted..Letterboxing is a Great Family Outing
Wow – you are scary – I’m sure I’m guilty of at least one of these.
mjhighroad recently posted..My Morning With My Teenager
Yeah…the goldfish will live just long enough for you to invest $50 in a bowl, rocks, fake plants, and flaky fish food. Then it’ll go belly up because it’s not used to living in a clean environment.
It’s a racket, I tell ya!
Kimberly recently posted..People will buy anything…
$50????? What is it, Baccarat crystal? Walmart has a starter set for $7.97 that should cover the soon to die fish, easily (and has gravel, a net, non-stress cost, etc).
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Anchor-Hocking-Company-Starter-Kit-Premium-Fishbowl-1-ct/10321807
Even assuming you want to go a bit fancier, there are tank kits starting at $19.98
Food should run maybe $2, so still not a big deal…
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Water-World-Goldfish-Tank-Kit/17631388
Well, I have been known to exaggerate just a tad….relax…haven’t had a pet here other than the dog since the male hamsters who had babies.
Kimberly recently posted..Each Day a Gift
Brilliant post. These are valid points. I hope I don’t face too many problems raising my child.
-Carlos
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Too good. Totally complete.
Christina Baglivi Tinglof recently posted..Why Do Twins Fight?
My daughter had a silver crown put on one of her teeth when she was 6 years old. The dentist told her that it will be exciting when it falls out years later because “silver princess crowns” are worth more money to the tooth fairy. Thanks a lot, dentist. Where was the dentist when my daughter turned 9 and the tooth fell out?!?!
Oh, boy. I so agree with # 9. For the first three years of my kids’ school lives, I’d send them to school healthy and they’d come home sick. Thank you, parents who send their kids to school sick.
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..Adopt this…dog
Along with number 8…the goodie-bag-givers…let’s add the party throwers who give out crappy toxic plastic “toys” from China that won’t biodegrade for about a million years…and it also takes just about that long to throw them out without your child noticing (you know, into the landfill where they’ll remain until your great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren die).
Instead of throwing the toy away, why not either
1) let your kid keep it, if they still want it (instead of sneakily throwing it away)?
2) Donate it to Good Will or give it to a less fortunate kid? Or your school’s carnival or something?
#9 is ruining my life! Seriously, I don’t want to have suck kids at home either…so please keep yours home!
Practical Parenting recently posted..Change Is in the Air
And parents who “help” with the science fair project, etc.
A standard 4th-grade project here is an A to Z state scrapbook the kids work on all year.
My kids did his all by himself and it looked like a piece of garbage next to the other “kids’” projects. You can tell who scrapbooks.
Still, I was proud of him earning that C all by himself. He really learned a lot about checking the details of a big project.
There is a child, maybe 7 or 8 years old, that wears a bikini with a triangle top and tie bottoms to swim class. Now my 6 year old wants one, too.
Don’t get me started about sick kids at school.
Erin@MommyontheSpot recently posted..What Do You Think Thursdays with Skinny Scoop: A Personal Reflection through Produce
How about those parents who invite your kid someplace really awesomely cool … before asking you … and it turns out you all have other plans and your kid can’t go. Not cool.
What is particularly annoying is that your list is so accurate that I am able to actually call to mind an actual face of an actual person to go with each type you listed.
And I bet I’m not the only one…
Rebecca Schorr recently posted..Torah in all Sorts of Places
Reading this list, I kept thinking “Nope, that’s not me. Nope, not that, either.” But darned if I don’t know people who are JUST like this!
And then I got to #10. *cough*
Time to drink.
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Parenting is a career, and every parent must succeed for the benefit of the child.
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#4 makes me INSANE. I went to a high school banquet for my daughter the other day and it was one of those times that I was thrilled that she has autism because she would never dream of a minidress that barely covers her underwear. I can’t believe girls are dressing this way and that their parents actually let them. I would be embarrassed to head out with my daughter looking that way.
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I’d like to nominate someone for this list: the teacher who ran out of time during the school year to effectively teach all the kids their math lessons SO SHE SENDS THEM HOME OVER MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND. Nice. Nice.
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted..Vroom Vroom
It couldn’t possibly be because the school system is so broken that it doesn’t allow the teachers to do their jobs properly. I’m sure you volunteer all the time to help in the classroom so you know exactly what goes on. Glad you’re on top of that!
Susan recently posted..Life and a Birthday
You’re right. I didn’t mean to harsh on all teachers. I’ve just had a long year with just this one.
How about the moms who bring their kids over for a playmate, don’t say a thing while the kids ransack your house, walk in the house without knocking, open your fridge and take out what they want and then they leave and don’t offer to help clean up? When they leave I take two Aleve and a shot of vodka and I don’t call her in the morning.
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..The Real Pioneer Woman
I’m all for being the mediocre mom.
Shell recently posted..What Happens Inside
I understand that in many households there is no one there to take care of the children that end up coming home sick… Where I live you would not believe how many parents send sick children to school on a daily basis. Before my kids went to school, they were rarely sick. Once they started school- it has been non stop! Thank goodness we have not had a lice outbreak yet. (knock on wood!) But I am dreading the day. Sigh,… I just want to curl up on the couch with a bottle of Jose Cuervo and some smokes, and not have to worry about it!
I am unfortunately one of those sports parents…..my husband actually banned me from my stepsons soccer games because of how I got….I hate it but I can’t help it….lol
Can we add the “Look at my child! Look how much more wonderful, smart, and perfect she is than yours. Look at HER!!!” parent? These moms insist their children be the class pets, have the most pictures in the yearbook and offer to have their child (with lower grades) come over and tutor yours.
Sorry about the sending the sick kids to school thing…:( I’m Active Duty and one day my son was soo sick snot was just flowing down his nose like a river. Took him to the Doc and she goes oh he’s fine, it’s just a cold no reason for him not to attend school. And for me no note= going to work. Just saying that I have a sick kid isn’t enought to actually keep him home. And the only way I’m doing so is if he has higher than a 101.1 fever or has the runs. :(
Your doctor is right. There is no reason for a kid with a cold not to go to school. At the point when a child is symptomatic, it is unlikely he is actively contagious. Granted, he might feel miserable, but Little Jimmy was spreading is disease and contagion to all of his buddies while he was feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed a couple of days before–rather than while his nose is running faster than Flo Jo.
The best way for parents and teachers to help kids stay healthy is providing frequent hand washing and teaching them some basic hygiene. They also keep up with vaccinations for their whole family–not just their kids.
Kids are going to get sick. That’s part of their job. Parents and teachers who get mad when kids are sent to school sick is as pointless as getting mad at the rain because it is wet.
I’m not saying kids should be sent to school vomiting and miserable, and with high fevers. Schools are for education, and teachers shouldn’t be expected to be nursemaids. But I don’t know how many times I’ve seen kids ask to go home because they wanted to avoid a test or they just broke up with their boyfriend. School administration then obligingly hands them the phone because it’s easier to have them out of class than be a pain in their arse. (Yes, I’ve worked with a lot of schools in my day as a social worker. My mother is a retired teacher. I get it.)
What makes me so high and mighty? Nothing at all. Compared to physicians and pediatricians, I know squat. But I know it is a common lament for my physician husband, his coworkers, and other pediatrician friends. Many parents drag children to the ER or pediatric offices because schools sent them home with a cold–and are more likely to be exposed to even more virulent bugs in the waiting room. Then they demand antibiotics and expect a treatment used to kill bacteria will cure a virus.
Schools and daycares are giant petri dishes. It’s part of life’s suckiness. Don’t automatically blame negligent parents. Just hand your kid another popsicle as she worships the Porcelain God.
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Nice thoughts. Woo to #9.. They just thought of perfect attendance. Very inconsiderate kind of human beings.
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OM gosh, I saw Scary Mommy on channel 7 this morning and just had to check out the website. Prostitots and Eskihoes too hilarious.
Oh yes! I agree with all of these. Still mad that my son missed field day in 2006 b/c my friend sent her son to school w/ strep. Don’t even get me started on lice.
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Don’t forget…THE DOCTOR who gives your kid a vaccine shot every time you visit! So when they’re really sick with fever and have a doc appointment, they suddenly have the strength to fight you tooth and nail, certain that they’re going to get poked. And then when it IS time for another vaccine shot, you’re forced to lie just to get them there. “Remember when you were sick and throwing up, you didn’t get a shot that time, did you?!” And it’s not only the crying on the way that you have to deal with, it’s the crying on the way home after they got the shot that you promised them they wouldn’t get. Meanwhile, the doctor has left for home in his BMW.
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I think you’re onto something with the concern over charging for body pieces. I know a serial killer who started just that way. And really, once you’ve killed someone, it’s hard to back out even if there are no arm buyers.
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LICE. OMG. It was such an issue this year at my children’s school. I think the reason they weren’t killed effectively is because people wanted to use natural products instead of chemicals. I’m all for natural, but lice are nasty so kill them!
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Actually, I found oilve oil (a completely natural remedy) to be the only really effective way to get rid of lice. And this was after we used RID kits several times.
A month’s course of olive oil finally really, really killed them. I know other parents with similar experiences—-one told me their daughter had it recurring for a YEAR until they finally tried olive oil. Their daughter was cured in a week!
I give my kids $5 for their FIRST tooth and makes sure to tell them it is special because it means you are growing up but that the tooth fairy has a lot of people to take money to so you only get $5 once. Now it is a dollar.
#3 – I have never had this toothfairy experience in my childhood in Eastern Europe, where I was taught to put tooth either in a plant pot or in a garden outside. When we family moved to Canada where my little brother was born. One day my brother excited showed me his tooth. He asked me “How much do you think my mother will put under my pillow tonight?” I explained about my upbringing and told him: if he gets money, he gets decayed tooth (true, he had decayed uneven teeth while I had healthy even teeth). From then on, he put his tooth in the plant pot or garden every time. I will do the same teaching with my daughter one day (now toddler).
In reference to # 6 – Don’t worry, I am single-handedly undoing some of the damage for those! My kids don’t even get a party every year. The years they DO get a party…It’s store bought cupcakes & $5 pizza for the kids. I throw it at the park…So I don’t have to think up any games for them to play. The adults? They get fantastic home made chili, cornbread, and a beer (or root beer, if you wanna be the DD). I feel like the parents will appreciate it more than the kids every will. So I am out there…somewhere…giving my kids crappy birthday parties so the parent who one-ups me really doesn’t have to try very hard at all! :D
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P.S. My kid has lost several teeth – but only really gotten about 75 cents. First – “tooth fairy” forgets sometimes…Second…about half the teeth have been lost before bedtime.
Tooth fairy rarely has entire dollars to give out anyway. Digging for coins in the car at midnight it it.
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I can’t be a parent like this. It is hard for me doing these things.
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I work at a place that has a high turnover due to parents staying home with sick kids. I am thankful for my MIL who babysits and will take my kids sick or not. Not everybody has this option. I would never send my kids to school with more than a cold, but what are people suppose to do? I wouldn’t have a job if it wasn’t for my MIL. Being a SAHM isn’t an option for everybody.
Taking off work for being sick is also interesting. People get mad at you for calling in, but the very same people get upset if you show up sick. You just can’t win.
Love this list! I agree especially the one about sports parents. I would like to add that crazy dance moms top the cake though. Having a son that was on a dance team, I was so happy that I didn’t have to deal with costumes & hair! Some of the moms go crazy! Way too much for me!
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I noticed it’s all mom’s commenting, but I want you to know that after googling “why children’s fashion is slutty” I came across this and was nodding alot. Bravo parents who still care!
I have two daughters, one just started kindergarten and it’s disgusting there are low rider jeans and low cut shirts and dresses for five year olds. Just putting that out there.
“Because I am the law around here” is my because answer, even my little children don’t question it. So go ahead tell them the single word isn’t an answer.
I noticed a commenter said “so and so’s parents don’t love her like I love you”. Good for you, in the circus that is parenting, if you set the example that “you suck as parents because your kids are bound for the stripper pole” they’ll either take notice or not be needed as associates/friends.
parents who willingly let their kids dress like hookers are going to have hookers for kids. I know the war against slut-attire is a hard fought battle. I had younger sisters, one was a couple grades under me. My friends would comment on how “hot” she was and immediately get socked. My parents… not a clue she was borrowing clothes from her best friend. I wish I could boast putting a stop to my sister’s days of sluttiness, but alas she became a cheerleader (not saying all are, but alot) and the dress code went from sluttish, to full on “buy me nice things and I’ll give you a whirl”. She wasn’t like that, but dressed the part. Stay strong mom’s and dad’s if there are more of us who won’t stand for it, we might just keep our kids in line!
Lastly, baseball dads or screaming soccer moms… ha! Gotta love the over zealous jacktards that do that. Peewee league anything is all about sportsmanship and learning the game. If you can’t show your kid that as a parent then they are bound to be like terrell owens or michael irvin athletes. As a dad though, my appearance can be a bit overwhelming to the screaming mom/dad if I tell them politely to “shut their f’ing mouth” but you have to do it calmly and quietly so only they can hear. Not saying you should be aggressive in anyway, but most people don’t say anything to them, so they keep doing it.
cheers folks, just really glad to know parents still care!
Military dad
Ummm, yeah—because obviously low rider jeans equals prostitution when older (and presumably a thinking being with free will). Again, I’ve never noticed any hooker clothes for girls that young (mom who really likes to shop here). And just because your personal taste runs to the puritanical, doesn’t mean anyone else’s kid is a slut.
Your rant about “protecting” your high school aged sister is more indicative of your paternalistic and sexist views. Absolutely you’re free to dress your daughters as you see fit—but that doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t get that right, as well.
Oh—P.S. how exactly do you know this? Do you follow children each year and when they’re teens or adults ask them, “so are you turning tricks, now?”.
Also, just curious—if I buy my daughter low riders by accident, is she STILL compelled to a life on the game? Or will she just be a kept woman or super slutty? What will keep my daughter chaste and pure? Mid-rise, high rise, cumberband waistband? Inquiring minds want to know.
ouchies people.. some breathing in and out and walking away maybe nice.. HEADLICE..dear god… whats that sound?..oh its just me thumping my head on the table in frustration… after spending a fortune and having my 2 girls come home again and again and again crawling with full grown lice.. I discovered frontline pet spray – i use it on small animals and that kicks it with a couple of squirts- no one died round here from it! ..or even better olive oil, with a few drops of citronella, lemon and orange essence in it.. cheap, smells ok, and works..I leave it in overnight ..:) mwahahha!
Bratz doll dressers… just Wrong on little girls.. seriously.. theres just no where to go from that style …but you dress your babies and I’ll dress mine.. if I’m paying that kind of money for clothes I like some actual fabric with it to cover my kiddlets! I’m not saying your kids are slappers – I like my kids to look like kids..
and because.. teachers you are welcome to correct my child..its wrong usage of the language..still going to use it ..cos some days I dont have any more words in my head..love ya for teaching them better.
oh and sporty parents yelling at the ref adn the coach and the kids..ugly people..be adults.. you really do suck..support if support not abuse.. love the loud cheering though :)
thanks for the laughs..taking myself off to do stuff that implies I haven’t just spent an hour reading this blog laughing my arse off!- instead of cleaning my house..
I am a parent, and “because” is not an answer. I believe my child should understand my decisions, so that they can understand how to base their own, future decisions.
I agree with most the rest, though (besides I think it’s sad for the fish) I don’t mind the fish prizes. I think having pets in the home is good for children. And I totally think kids should be able to get wired on sugar and party it up at birthday parties.
Those were some of my best memories as a child, and maybe as a parent they make parenting tougher but it’s worth it to give my child those fun, happy memories.
I read these trying to figure out which ones did Jill do. Then it turned into which ones do I hope Jill didn’t do.
Then it was oh Lord, I hope she didn’t do that one.
It does amaze me what parents do sometimes. I need to have tickets to write parents in the parking lot when they violate common courtesies in the parking lot, school ground etiquette. I’m OCD, add me to your list of people to encourage. :)
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Ten dollars?!? That’s outrageous.
Our tooth fairy leaves one gold fairy coin (a Sacajawea $1 coin). The only exception was for the child whose face was the unfortunate landing place for some kid’s feet at one of those horrible inflatable jump places. Two baby teeth were knocked out and two adult teeth were loosened, earning him a soft diet for 4 weeks and some DVDs from the tooth fairy.
Whenever the kids complain, I sigh and tell them that the rate is set by the local tooth fairy union.
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TThank you soooo much for that! I TOTALLY agree with the sending kids to school/daycare sick…SUCH a pet peeve of mine….Ive actually made comments to parents about doing that…trust me they walked away ashamed…
I feel really bad. I always put a LOT of candy in the goody bags. The kids seem to like me though but maybe that’s why the mommies have been glaring at me?
Oh dear.
Kiran
Kiran@Masala Chica recently posted..Normal
I never reply but I find this post very annoying. Who cares what others think and others do. Make your own rules. You owe no one an explanation, especially your kids.
1. Don’t let them play that game. Just say no, it’s easy.
2. You’ll find this at every level from preschool to college – get used to it.
3. Who cares what other people do. Do what you want. You don’t need to explain.
4. Yes, agree.
5. It isn’t an answer at school.
6. See #3.
7. Yes, agree.
8. If you don’t want them to eat the goody bag, don’t let them.
9. Yes, agree.
10. Depends on your definition of overachiever. Who cares.
My son had some very wealthy kids in his pre school and there was no way I could even try to compete with the over the top birthday parties. All were catered and most had open bars for the adults cause nothing says “Happy 3rd birthday” more than drunken parents in the bounce house. One party the goody bag they handed out probably cost 40 times what I gave the birthday child as a present! When it was my son’s birthday I did the traditional cake, ice cream, party games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, REASONABLE goody bag and good bye. I told the mega wealthy parents before the party that the theme was “Retro” and they raved about it! Stupid stupid people.
A to the men on every single one.
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All good ones.
Here’s one. The parent who thinks their kid is sick when they cough once. Guess what? A few coughs and sniffles don’t stop life as we know it. When you keep your kid from living their life mine thinks when he sneezes on the first day with a high pollen count he has the flu.
So true on all of these! Some more snark than others. I’m dead serious about the “don’t send your virus-laden kid to school.” My daughter’s arthritis is triggered by viruses, and while I know I can’t (and shouldn’t) protect her from all germs, intentionally exposing kids to your sick kid has more consequences for some than a runny nose. And why should I have to take days off of work because you thought your busy life was more important than mine?
Grrrrr.
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Over four thousand twitter shares? They aren’t going to be too happy with me.
I agree with just about all all these things you listed. Doesn’t it seem like they are almost universal truths? Then why oh why does it still go on?
My daughter got strep throat at least four times from the same kid.
#9 gets me!! I can’t stand that! I took my 15 month old to an indoor play area, and there was a little boy (3yrs or so) coughing in everyone’s face. Like one of those mucousy coughs, the kind that you KNOW your kid is sick. Needless to say, my daughter got sick and so did my friends baby.
I have never in my life read so many catty remarks. I thought the post was interesting, and the commenters mostly petty.
i’m with you on all but the sick kid at school one. my kid is sick because some other mom sent theirs earlier in the week – yep. not fair, but heck if i’m gonna keep my kid home over some boogers and cough – the whole class will have it soon enough anyway…. after a couple parenting years i stopped being upset about other moms sending sick kids to school and play places and decided it builds strong immune systems for when the big one comes around someday – and throw my kid out there too. most germs are spread before a kid even shows symptoms anyway and i’m gonna need the break alone before i get it myself anyway – ha.
I don’t know, I have mixed feelings about the one with a sick kid. How sick is sick? I have 2 wheezers – when they get sick, they cough and have runny nose for 4-5 weeks at a time. Sometimes it’s one virus after another. Should I take 2 months off to stay home with my kids while paying for daycare? Fever is one thing, but during flu season, they are constantly sick, especially because there are 22 other kids in my son’s kindergarten and 15 in my other son’s daycare. Either I take them with runny nose and cough or quit my job.
2. My daughter joined t-ball this past Spring. One mother (thank heavens from another team!) yelled at her kid while he batted “That’s a lazy swing! If you’re going to slack off, why am I wasting my evenings here?” It was his first year. He was 5.
3. One of my Mini’s friends got $20 for her first tooth and was promised $5 for each additional tooth. SERIOUSLY?!
6. The only thing worse are the wish lists where the cheapest toy is $40. GRRR
7. This is why I keep the shampoo on hand now. It’s only October and we’ve gotten 3 notices home about a lice outbreak.
10. A mother I know would do flash cards with her 1yo then proclaim her a genius. That was back when she used to spend time with her kid though.
Tina recently posted..Love the Fall. Hate the Sick.
Wow this is one popular post! The comments are as interesting as the post too. But yea, its SO annoying when people have their obviously (and I am not talking sniffles here) kid to school.
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OMG – the sick kid sent to school chaps my ass in a serious way. I know someone who feels entitled to send her kid because she paid for it. This person doesn’t work and could care less the stress sending a sick kid imposes on parents who do have to work and figure out what the hell to do with a sick kid!
Kelly @ In the Mom Light recently posted..Babies & Hairpulling: May the Force be With You
When I say sick kid here I mean like threw up in the night, still at school in the morning…….. ugh, rude.
Kelly @ In the Mom Light recently posted..Babies & Hairpulling: May the Force be With You
Oh Good I was starting to feel like a jerk about the kid with sniffles comment. I wasn’t referring to fever or vomiting or other serious stuff. Here in New England kids cough, sneeze, and sniffle from October through April. All of them. As some one pointed out they all catch it from someone before symptoms present themselves. If you kept a kid home that whole time you would be talking to a truancy officer.
$1? When I was a kid it was 25 cents! When my first child lost her first tooth around 1999, all I had on me was a $5 bill, and my sister/neighbor wasn’t home, and the kids were already asleep. So she got $5 for one stinking tooth. I’m scared of what the going rate may be when my youngest two lose their first teeth.
What is really crazy is the $20 per tooth parent…..I would break the bank in no time!
When my twin daughters were little *they* were the ones who did not like the spaghetti straps and mini skirts. They liked the boy’s department better, so I told them, “Clothes don’t know if a boy or girl is wearing them – so buy what you like.” It was great for my pocketbook, too, because the boy clothes were often cheaper. Made it easier to shop at Goodwill, as well.
Oh, and our tooth fairy didn’t leave money. She left books.
They should add to the list:
“If you do everything right and are a perfect saint throughout your pregnancy, you will have perfect children who are as healthy as an ox.
I did everything right and my 10 yr old has Bipolar with delusions. Besides,how healthy is an ox anyway?
#2, #2, #2!!! I can tolerate all the rest, but the parents who *yell* at my 7 year old because he accidentally threw an interception? I want to STRANGLE them. And I’m a pretty nice person overall. Just sayin.
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Anyone who gives my toddler son ANYTHING unsolicited (I’m talking to you, pediatrician, who gives one year olds huge stickers and random toys) because he will stick anything in his mouth and swallow it. My son is also allergic to dairy and I hate being that parent who asks has to ask, “Is there milk in this?” and take away the cake or cookie.
Jessica Smock recently posted..Losing My Battle of the Binky: Do Pacifiers Stunt Boys’ Development?
I have heard that the Tooth Fairy gets one million dollars to give out each night. So depending on how many kiddos lost a tooth that day that is how much you will get. That is why some kids get more and some get less.
Hey! My dad wasn’t the obnoxious sport parent!
…until I was 5, that is. I should not be able to remember JVKG (junior varisty Kindergarten) soccer, but I think I do because I can hear the coach on the other team telling my dad “It’s only a game.” Not even sure why he needed to shout; probably two strides and he would have crossed the field.
…(sigh) Middle school was even better: all the popular boys were umpires for my lil bro’s tee ball team (yes, tee ball), and my dad got banned from coaching. “Whoa, your dad is, like, super crazy!”
That super crazy man is a super good Grandpa now, but Jesus Henry Christ, it took a long time to get there.
Tru that! My firend throws the over the top birthday parties that put my little family get together to shame! her son is going to be 3 this year. She has had a hall for birthday 1 with 50+ppl and games. Birthday 2 pool party in January! Not only did I have to go swimming with my winter lbs on plus deal with ear infections due to wet heads leaving. Cake was first had to leave directly after swimming! Year 3 this year face painting, bounce houses superhero costume party at a hall!. SMH i just dont even try to keep up!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh sick kids where they should not be is one of my pet peeves. Especially sick kids in the church nursery. Really? You couldn’t just stay home with the sick kids? Instead you will inevitably get every other toddler in the nursery sick with the bug your kids have? Ugh. It’s not like you are working today, since you are in church.
Children with higher emotional intelligence are more likely to be sociable, cooperative, optimistic and able to solve problems.
They tend to be better-behaved, less impulsive, and have a higher academic performance. They are happier, have more friends and are more likely to be successful in life.
So there is a big impact on what we do as parents. Give your children a head start!