10 Reasons Why I Can’t Come to the Phone

A friend of mine recently suggested I write about our newfound inability to communicate via the phone since becoming moms. While she said it in jest- it’s completely true. Since becoming a mom I have become terrible at the phone. Pre-baby I was all, “Hey (person’s name here), wanna chat for the next like 45 minutes about everything and nothing?” And now, I’m the person who calls you in a rushed voice or a hushed voice because either the baby is up and I have about 5 minutes to be on the phone before she realizes I’m not talking to her, (this is unacceptable BS to her), or she is asleep and I tiptoe around hoping to God it lasts longer than 20 minutes.

But I want to talk. I want to talk to everyone. About everything. I wanna to go through my phonebook and just one after the other call every person in there. I want to ask them how life is, how their day is going, what they had for lunch. But alas, my small toothless friend has other plans.

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Here is why I can’t come to the phone right now:

1. I was going to call you and then my baby spit up everywhere, so I had to clean it up. When I went to clean it up, I noticed the floors were super dirty and I can’t have my kid on dirty floors so I mopped them. After I mopped them, the baby started crying because the world didn’t revolve around her for the last ten minutes, so I had to play with her.

2. The baby is napping, so I have anywhere from 30 minutes to one hour to: take a shower, do the laundry, clean up toys, clean up the kitchen, put away laundry, put away dishes, pay bills etc. So, I obviously just sat on the couch for the entirety of the nap, pissed off about how many things I have to do and I can’t even call my friends.

3. It’s nighttime and the baby has gone to sleep and all I want to do is sit and watch something mindless on TV. Even calling you to talk about the mindless things on TV seems like too much work for my brain.

4. I was going to call you… and then I started on my to do list and now it’s 10pm and I have to go to sleep before the baby wakes up to eat.

5. Facebook/Instagram/Celebrity Gossip site/magazine/other blog site happened.

6. I decided to eat in silence instead.

7. Apparently, my husband wants to talk to me too, and I made some sort of lifelong commitment with him to do this (there was jewelry involved, so it’s legit).

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8. I have no idea where my phone is.

9. My boss is super demanding. She’s always like, “Play with me! Sing to me! Read to me! Take me for walks! Take me to the park! Let’s go play with other babies!” There’s just no work/life balance around here. The toothless one always gets her way.

10. I have nothing interesting to say. And I’m tired. These two things combined means we will have a conversation like this:

You: Hey! How are you?

Me: Good, you?

You: Great! What’s new?

Me: Nothing much. You?

You: (Insert interesting updates here)

Me: Cool!

You: (More interesting things)

Me: That sounds great

You: Okay I gotta go but I’ll talk to you later.

Me: Okay bye!

You: (Thinking: Has she always been that boring?)

Me: (Thinking: Come on me! You’re not that boring! Step up your game.)

And honestly, I just like you too much to put you through that.

Related post: Talk to You in 30 Years

About the writer

Amanda Bogorad is a mother of one adorable baby girl and the wife of a chef who has been moving her around the country for the past ten years. Her blog, My Parentsense, is an exploration of trying to parent by instinct rather than by a book (which, as an obsessive type A personality, is all she really wants to do). 


Catherine 3 weeks ago

What a load of rubbish. I am a mother of three under five and frankly I dont think “facebook/instagram” happened is much of an excuse as to why you cant talk to your friends. Get over yourself your not the first person in the world to have a child.

Amber 6 months ago

This is so true I want to cry….

Alicia 10 months ago

You forgot the very annoying, mommy who are you talking too. Ooh I wanna talk to so and so. So now you have lost your phone for the next 10 minutes while your 3 yr old talks to daddy, or nana or papa ot whoever. As cute as it is, come on give me a break. That is my only connection to the outside world little girl and you can’t ruin everything for mommy.

Diana Duval 1 year ago

Over 30 years have passed…and it still seems like yesterday, some things never change!

Melissa 1 year ago

Kudos to you for getting your floor washed sista!

Sue Knoche-Garcia 1 year ago

Me too!!!! And then he battery does and I’m screwed!!!!

Melanie Koppen 1 year ago

Always #10 lol seriously unless you wanna hear everything my kid does i have nothing interesting to say

Jennifer Horne 1 year ago

No’s 8, 9 and 10 – how sad is that!!

Te Sha 1 year ago


Deedee Fronius 1 year ago

The only time I ever talk to people is while I’m driving to or from work on Bluetooth. It’s sad, really.

Courtney Smith Adkins 1 year ago

So me EXCEPT #8 lol

Melinda Hicks 1 year ago

Yeah, number eight is my main reason. Number 11, though, is that my hearing is going and I can’t hear on the phone and it’s too much effort. lol

Jennifer Zimmerman 1 year ago

So true.

Shannon Lyle 1 year ago

Sooo relatable! It’s like you’re reading my mind.

Rachel Murphy 1 year ago

So true. OMG

Kathi Barfield-Brewer 1 year ago

Yeah #10. Seriously, my life is work, toddler care, and exams. Unless you want to hear about the next state board meeting or delve into developmental psychology theories, I’ve got nothing.

Claire Becraft 1 year ago


Anne Marion Booth 1 year ago

#5, 6, 7, 8, and 10 fit me perfectly. I would try to claim the others but my babies are 28 and 31.

Abbe M. Feitelberg 1 year ago

Sweet lady, you don’t suck at all! I get it and live you just the same :)

Nikki Di Bari 1 year ago

Yes. Number 10. So much. Sometimes, the most interesting thing that happens during my day is someone wins big in the showcase showdown on The Price is Right.

Katie Karagiannes 1 year ago

For me #8 should read “I know where my phone is, but it happens to be in my toddler’s possession and kid’s mode trumps conversing with another adult.”

Sarah Bishop 1 year ago

I think i can relate to all these lol

Joelda Aguilera 1 year ago

Yes especially #8 all the time.. Haha

Deb Miller 1 year ago

Number 9. And the kid is demanding too.

Stephanie Foss 1 year ago

My m.o. Is 2 and 3

Melinda Oates 1 year ago

11. You would spend the whole conversation randomly shouting your kids names while they’re doing something they shouldn’t be because you’re distracted. “DO NOT try and put your brother in the dishwasher! He isn’t a dish!”

Cyndi Delvey 1 year ago

Lol!!I’m so guilty of this..I always mean to call..

Sharon Lozsan Hammill 1 year ago

It doesn’t get any better once the kids are older, either, because you are so damn busy it’s never convenient to drop everything and talk on the phone.

I prefer to communicate via text and if I want to chat, will text first to organise a mutually convenient time.

Most people with kids understand this and most people without kids don’t.

Kelly Worthington Riley 1 year ago

So true!

Diana 1 year ago

Speakerphone is the best thing ever! I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been able to keep talking to family and friends because I could set down the phone and use both hands to keep my 7 month old out of trouble. It also lets him “talk” to grandma.

Lauren Christie 1 year ago

Lol so true! Weird how it changes so drastically!

Tracie Carter Hans 1 year ago

try to explain any of this to people without kids though is impossible


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