10 Things You Don’t Need For Baby


So you’ve just walked into Babies R Us for the first time ever and one of the employees (who either had a lobotomy or needs one) hands you this little booklet that has a list of allllllllllll the shit you’re going to need for the upcoming arrival of your little poop-machine.

And that’s where the fun begins! And by fun I mean the crazy torture of going up and down each and every aisle trying to figure out whether you need f’ing nipple shields or Butt paste. The correct answer is yes and yes.

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With that said, man did we buy a lot of crap for Baby #1. Baby #2, on the other hand, got all hand-me-downs. Yup, every single little thing. Yes, even the diapers. And no they weren’t cloth. I don’t care how good cloth diapers are for the environment, there ain’t no way I’m putting turds into my washing machine. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except for the fact that you’re putting turds into your washing machine (awwww shit, here come the comments). But I digress.

So here goes. A bunch of crap I bought when I was having a baby that I now know was a total waste…

1. A fancy bedding set. Like two seconds after you tear open your fancy bedding package a Babycenter email appears in your inbox. Ding! Bumpers killed 9 million babies last year! (FYI, I like to exaggerate, it was only like 7 million) Okay then, no problemo, you just won’t use the bumpers. And then you’re reading your What to Expect book and it tells you what to expect in the first year: expect your baby to die if you put a blanket in his crib. Okay then, you’ll just throw the quilt on the back of the nursing chair for decoration, which totally doesn’t work because then your head is all shoved forward when you sit in the chair. So basically you’ve just spent a bazillion dollars on a single fitted crib sheet. A single sheet that is about to be destroyed when your newborn poops his brains out the first night home from the hospital. And I don’t care how much Shout you use, that shit stain ain’t coming out. So you have two choices: A. Don’t buy the totally adorable bedding set to begin with or B. Buy a set with a lovely brown amoeba pattern all over it so the shit stains blend in.

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2. Clothes that go over a newborn’s head. Have you ever tried to put clothes on a newborn? Impossible. You’re all like, my new baby has a really strong neck until you’re pulling that really cute onesie over her head to take her home from the hospital and suddenly her neck is like jello and her head falls off and you’re screaming NURSE! NURSE! and she’s walking in all cool and collected like they see this shit all the time. Well, at least that cute leopard-print onesie with the Burberry trim is soooo adorable maybe no one will notice that your child is headless.

3. A wipes warmer. Yeahhh, that’s what you want to do, let baby get used to having his royal ass cleaned with a wipe that’s been heated to the perfect temperature. ‘Cause then do you know what happens? You’re out in public trying to change his diaper and he throws a conniption because your wipes in the diaper bag are freezing and his ass has turned into a total pussy (wait, that’s not right). Besides, do you think someone like the Fonz had warm wipes when he was a tike (tyke?)? No way, no how. Because people who have warm wipes as infants turn into douchebags. No, I don’t have any examples, but it seems pretty damn obvious. So unless your Mum is Kate F’ing Middleton, no one’s heating your stupid wipes.

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4. Shoes for your newborn. Newsflash, babies can’t walk. Plus, if you stare really hard at your baby’s feet you can literally see them growing, kind of like how if you stare really hard at a clock without blinking you can see the minute hand moving. So basically putting a newborn’s growing feet in shoes is akin to Chinese foot binding. Yes, I know those two-inch Air Jordans are like the cutest things in the whole wide world but maybe I forgot to mention, BABIES CAN’T WALK much less dunk a basketball, except maybe those roller-skating Evian babies.

5. Expensive baby clothes. This one’s pretty much the same as the last part of #1. Just buy a lot of cheap stuff from Tarjay or once again, buy everything with a brown amoeba pattern on it.

6. A fancy stroller. If you’re the kind of person who bought your house outright without a mortgage, I hate you. Wait, no, that’s not what I meant to say. If you’re that kind of person, by all means, buy a fancy delancy stroller. I remember standing in the middle of a high-end toy store while a woman half my size demonstrated the bugabooger to me. “Push this button, then this one and voila it’s so compact it fits in the palm of your hand.” And then I remember this. Standing in the middle of the parking lot at Scabies R Us and I couldn’t get my damn fancy stroller to collapse because it had like 9,000 doodads and buttons and levers and thingamajigs. These days I’m like just give me a simple umbrella stroller, and if I want something fancier I’ll buy it for half the price on Craigslist. You know, in case I decide to chuck it across the parking lot and then drive over it with my minivan.

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7. A baby bathtub. Guess what, your house already came with one. WHAT?! The realtor didn’t tell you?!! Hello brainiac, it’s called a sink. But wait, my sink doesn’t look like a cute whale or a duck! No, it doesn’t. But it also doesn’t cost an extra $30. Or come in a weird ass shape that doesn’t fit in any logical place in your bathroom. And guess what, your kiddo’s not thinking, “It’s not fair, Javier down the street has a bathtub that looks like a turtle and I don’t.” All he’s thinking is, “Aggghhh, who the hell is pouring goddamn water on my head?! I’m gonna scream as loud as humanly possible until they stop!”

8. Car seats. I mean, WTF is it with everyone getting these things?! Nahhhh, just kidding. Seriously, I’m kidding. Really.

9. The Bumbo Seat. There are all these companies out there that make stupid products to help your kid hit some milestone they’re gonna hit anyway, like the Bumbo. In case you don’t know, this is a little seat that props your kid up before he can actually sit up. You’re gonna hear all these jackasses, I mean really nice moms, say that their kiddo wasn’t sitting up and then she got him the Bumbo and whatta you know, two weeks later the kid was sitting up. All because of this magic fucking chair. Ehhhhh, wrong. Your kid is sitting up because he’s 6+ months old. Not because you forced him to use his Bumbo and work his muscles into a damn six-pack like Mike the Situation from Jersey Shore.

10. Pee-pee teepees. FYI, pee-pee teepees are just a cute present people buy because their gift only came to $15 and they needed a $5 item to make it expensive enough. Oh, and they’re always people who never had a boy so they have no idea that pee-pee teepees don’t stay on, but of course, you never realize it’s fallen off until your kid starts spraying you with urine and some of it gets in your mouth.

About the writer

Karen is the ridiculously hairy, self-deprecating writer of the blog Baby Sideburns. She also likes to make people pee in their pants with her daily entries on Facebook and twitter @BabySideburns, but that's not saying much since most of them had babies.


marychansing 4 months ago

As for me it’s really a good list! I think that baby need a good walker. I researched carefully before buying baby walker. It was a little problem. I read reviews at the amazon and topreviews.best I bought VTech sit-to-stand walker and I’m so happy that I did it.

Jenia 11 months ago

We are those weirdos who never had problems with putting clothes over our newborn’s head :) Lucky, I guess.

I have to disagree on the nice stroller. We started off with a cheap umbrella stroller and it was a useless piece of junk: it fell over if you hung anything (ANYTHING) on it, it did crazy pirouettes if you took one hand off it for a second while moving, it required a couple of kicks and a string of cussing to fold, and would not stay folded. We gave it away and bought a nice used stroller (no Bugaboo or Stokke but still) and have been very, very happy. It made all the difference. I’ve been suggesting expecting moms to go and try several before buying.

Lynda 11 months ago

The BEST thing I ever got? I can’t remember the actual name, but I’ve heard them called ‘punkin seats’ so I’ll go with that. I used them ALL the time. I have wooden bar stools with backs so I used to strap the punkins to the stools and, hey PRESTO!!! High chairs. I could set them on the couch when it was time for bottles and being in a reclining position prevented reflux and spitting up. I had twins so while I was holding one in my arms with the bottle, I could give attention to the other while they were waiting for their turn. The best by far however was that my son, who had terrible issues with startling, could sleep in a semi-reclining position on the (sectional) couch while I slept next to him holding his hand. It enabled him to learn how to self calm and the whole family slept better

Sokie 1 year ago

Totally agree with the bedding sets. I never used bumpers, positioners, or blankets in the crib, all I’m using right now is a fitted cotton sheet and a wearable sleep sack by babydeedee.com. Baby is sleeping beautifully and not to mention he looks super cute. Most of the newborn size clothing and accessories goes unused as your newborn is going to spend most of the time in bed. What you need the most, onesie, footies, sleepers and sleep sacks.

rshorton 1 year ago

REally enjoy your writing. I don’t know if you were kidding about the cloth diapers, but just in case… you know you’re not supposed to put the poop in the washing machine, correct? You rinse in toilet b/f putting in diaper pail, then do washing.

Patricia C. 1 year ago

Good thing a baby monitor is not your list cuz I just bought one yesterday. I don’t buy baby clothes until baby hits 3rd month. I have a few pairs from my sister.

Ophelia 1 year ago

I agree when it comes to NEED there is very little needed for a newb. However, what you may find useful is highly variant based on many factors, not the least of which is your baby. Some mom would say to them a swing was essential. My first child would scream like he was on fire every time I tried it. Not useful…and big, and pricey. Thankfully the two following babes made that a much less wasteful purchase. 😉 Baby 1 LOVED a baby carrier/sling/wrap…you name it. Baby 2 acted like he was in a straight jacket set on fire. Again, NOT useful for him (and sooo disappointing since I needed the extra hands now with two kiddos. I could go on all day. I LOVE our Bumbo. I never thought it was going to help my baby set. I sat on the floor and fed them in it a lot. ALL smooth, no buckles or crevices for disgusting things to get stuck in. Wonderful. I adore the baby bathtub. I put it in the tub with me. I would put appropriate water temp for baby in in the baby tub and hot water in my tub and we could bathe together at temps we both enjoyed. Now with 3 kids, I stick baby in there inside the older kids bath & it keeps her area separate while she feels part of what is going on. Also the boys are filthy, I don’t want her in their water…lol I also directly cobathed a lot with each of my kids as tiny ones.

I’ve never owned a bedding set for a baby, so I get you there. I do love baby shoes though. I know they often don’t or won’t go on or stay on, but some do. When they do, I try to get a picture in them and save those & hang them on the tree each year as a keepsake ornament. They are by no means a must & I generally had booties to keep their feet toasty instead,

I do love a wipes warmer. I cloth diaper & EVERYONE steals the warm wet cloth wipes, even Dh. They are wonderful for sticky faces and everything else. We live where there is winter though and I’ve had all winter babies so it’s nice not to have icey wiping at 2am and wake everyone right up. I would add my best investment is a small portable washing machine right next to my changing table. Diapers and wipes go straight in & when full I run it & then I wash a load of her clothing after. It is the perfect size for that and it keeps her clothes looking great as it’s more gentle than a full size. I am astounded by how her clothing has no wash wear compared to my older ones clothing, which I had found it sooner. I wash my delicates in it now too. LOL

Ali 1 year ago

In GA it’s illegal to have the baby in the car with no car seat …. What state is that you’re in ?

Mom of 5 1 year ago

After baby #3 I discovered these leather moccasins for babies, Kidzuu (there’s another company out there too, but I can’t remember their name….). These lil slip on shoes, if you don’t lose one, are amazing and can be worn for 6 to 8 months before being out grown. Quality material, cheaper than the baby shoes that don’t fit, totally reveal an experienced mom behind the babe….bought mine on Amazon- never left the house because who can navigate a mall w 5 kids anyway?? Or big pregnant w#5 as the other 4 are running amok. Plus, living in podunk, our mall wouldn’t have these amazing leather moccasins, even if I did have the time to shop. I bought 3 sizes, so baby #5 now won’t out grow them until she’s walking good and ready for shoes anyway. They match everything. And if they don’t, who cares?

Second, baby wipe warmer. Had one for first born, 13 years ago. It about caught fire, burned itself…decided to chuck it along w the baby monitor (monitor was picking up alien voices and freaked us out).

Happy parenting. :-) :-)

Stacy 1 year ago

I agree with most of these except for the tub! That thing was put to good use. Wet babies are slippery babies and trying to hold on to a tiny newbie in the sink while simultaneously scrubbing them clean and not letting them slip under the water is HARD! My baby tub was a mini clawfoot type tub that sat over the sink. It had a cloth-like hammock that I removed when bad-ass (<-that's my wee-babe) could sit on her own. When it was time to move to the real deal tub, B.A. was freaked out by the new size, so we put her in the baby tub in the big tub for awhile until she grew accustomed to the new fun size. Side note: It's so awesome watching the stages of a babies opinion on something…First she was afraid of the big tub, then she was a afraid of the running water, now she FEARLESS and plays under the running water!

ROB.H 1 year ago

Real story it is!

Kelly 1 year ago

Car seats are more comfortable for the babies and i dont think it will be harmful to the baby at any position and there are so many products are available which provide more safety features too.

Amazon 2 years ago

I am regular reader, how are you everybody?
This article posted at this website is truly good.

Angie 2 years ago

I agree with everything! Especially…

Pee pee tee pees. Ugh!!!!! Everyone mentions they fall off- I wish mine did! I got them as a gift I didn’t register for- shock shock :p when my son actually did pee with it on, all it did was turn in to a backwards umbrella and literally spray his pee right back down and all over his stomach, legs, chest, everywhere! He needed an immediate bath. Useless! My lesson was firmly learned- so whenever I see someone looking at them in the store, I kindly tell them they are a waste of their money.

leather backpack 2 years ago

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mom of 2 2 years ago

I don’t think I have laughed so hard in a long time. The things u said where right on and I loved that it came out uncensored. Loved it and hope to read more!

Greg Van Laar 2 years ago

#11. Church $$.. You want other people to pay for you to have sex and smell tiny baby heads which makes you feel so “yummy” yay. You’re a hell-bound bastard. Don’t go to church and tell people they’re hell-bound for earning the money that pays for your mortgage (or NFL package, or super-ultra-wet-wipes, or unbridled sex to have babies (which the person you need $$ from is in control over), or however you look at it)

    Greg Van Laar 2 years ago

    So………………… my comment won’t be approved.. because it’s not “whining mommy approved” (like Kix cereal… which every poverty-stricken mother of 12 approves)

Darla 2 years ago

But the pee pee Teepees make such nice first birthday hats haha.

Amanda 2 years ago

It’s never funny to joke about infant death. The way you worded the section on bedding and infant death was very distasteful, even for an article for scarymommy. I, too, lost a baby to SIDS. We didn’t have fancy bedding. Nothing but a sheet, as a matter of fact. Point is, it’s not funny to make infant death the butt of any joke.

Michelle 2 years ago

I thought this article gave good advice, though I think she took the reality of babies dying and turned it into a joke. My son, Chance, died August 2013, at 2 months and 26 days old, from SIDS. Not suffocation, not anything else. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. We had police Investigators in our home, they did a full autopsy, and still questioned us at the hospital while we were there holding our son’s body for the last time. I remember when I found him, cold and lifeless, yet I still attempted to give him CPR. Maybe it’s when you know the feeling of putting your lips against your cold sons and getting nothing, then watching EMS rush him to the hospital… then Infant loss, no matter what kind, isn’t such a joke and would never be used as one to make an article “funny.” Here you all are arguing about co-sleeping and whether wipes are high maintenance… in my eyes, it’s pathetic. I hope you all stay as naive about the subject of infant death and never know what it is like to have to keep living without your child.

For anyone interested, my husband and I started a non profit called Hope For Chance, that can be found at http://www.hopeforchance.org. We raise Awareness about the truth of SIDS, raise money to assist families with service and burial costs, and also raise money for research.

abby 2 years ago

I like you. You write like I talk. I trust that.

Kristie 2 years ago

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Miriam 2 years ago

I agree with everything, but car seats. How can someone carry a baby in a vehicle without it?

Aidan Firsov 2 years ago

this was an awful blog. you sound like you should not have children. Who refers to their babies bottoms as assess? Seriously? To me it sounds like having a baby was a bother for you.

    Loblolly 2 years ago

    I feel sorry for your husband… And that’s assuming you have one. As judgmental as you are you likely will not for long. My guess is you got knocked up by your boyfriend and he still has yet to put a ring on it. When people are as judgmental as yourself they generally have quite a few skeletons in their own closet

JT 2 years ago

Every time I see a list of “Stuff you don’t need for a baby” I always scroll to see if my favorite must-have item is on there… Yup, the wet wipe warmer. :) We totally loved them and went through at least three of them when our kiddos were babies. To each her own, I guess.

Harrison 2 years ago

Bathtubs: The kitchen sink is one of the dirtiest (think bacteria, things you can’t see, etc) surfaces in your home. People don’t disinfect their sink’s nearly enough. A baby bathtub that goes into the sink is great for preventing contact with these surfaces, especially since at this age you shouldn’t be using any strong soaps either.

Strollers: Umbrella strollers are great once baby is a little older, but a lot of people that live in large metro areas like New York or Chicago need strollers for rough terrain like city sidewalks and parks. They also need them to have a flat recline if the baby is younger than 3 months (something umbrella strollers don’t offer). So I think the stroller one is very situational based on the family’s needs…

Bumbo: May not be the miracle ab machine, but it’s definitely a convenient place to set baby down where you can attach a snack/play tray that isn’t reclined like a swing or bouncer would be.

Sahar 2 years ago


Susan Jones 2 years ago

Peepee Teeppee? I’ve never heard of that and I have 2 grown sons, must be new. I always unfolded the new diaper, turned it sideways on top of him across the old diaper before I took the old diaper off. A lot of times I’d wind up having to get a THIRD diaper lol but at least my hair and face were urine free :)

tarah 2 years ago

oh gosh….hilarious. I had to google what peepee teepees were. thank you for this article :))

just me 2 years ago

I bought a 4 dollar dishpan at the grocery store and used it in the kitchen sink as a bathtub until she got old enough for the regular bathtub. First I’d wrap her in a towel like a burrito to wash her hair under the faucet. Those memories make me want to cry, they are so precious. But an umbrella stroller? No way, there is no padding and I bet their whole backsides fall asleep and they feel like crap. And I still think the hardest part about caring for a baby is keeping their bedding clean. They should make it easier somehow. Maybe put an adult diaper in between three or four sheets so you don’t have to take the whole mattress out to change the sheet. But then you’ll find baby curled up in the corner of the crib, poopy sheet where the diaper isn’t. I love babies. And I loved my Snugli. So did my baby. Can’t imagine carrying around the baby AND the detachable car seat thing they use nowadays. Just loving Memory Lane here.

Lauren 2 years ago

It’s really amazing to see how much controversy this article has caused in the comments!!! Ladies, ladies, ladies…. what do you care how other moms bathe/diaper/wipe, etc their kids??? The article was intended to be a comedic take on what works and doesn’t work for THIS mom. Lay off each other! And chill out with the defensiveness just because someone else has a difference of opinion…. sheesh, I feel dumber for even reading some of this stuff…. think I am going to stick with the articles and stay away from the comments section on Scary Mommy from now on…

    Loblolly 2 years ago

    You are dead on! Finally a mother with a brain! It is hard to come across these days! These women are petty and childish.

    NEWSFLASH: unless your kid is price George no one gives a flying fuck what your opinion is! You are just another mother. Yes just another mother! 50% of the population have children! You are not special! To the supportive women on here, congratulations I’m sure you live fulfilling lives and are loved by many. To the other hags who try to bring everyone else down… Your opinion is irrelevant and no one cares. Stop trying to degrade others for making different choices than yourselves. You do not know everything and by the way you go about expressing your thoughts it is doubtful others would try to emulate you or your choices in any way. Quit focusing on what others are doing and fix yourselves and your families. If you speak to strangers like you do, I really pity your families

First-timer 2 years ago

This is great! I agree that we probably don’t need all this stuff, but I’m hoping to get at least a bathtub at the shower! Then at least I can say I didn’t actually pay for all the unnecessary crap!!!

hilbuk 2 years ago

We’ve never had one, but I’ve heard of wipe warmers being useful for overnight changes because with it, apparently some parents were able to change their kids without the kid waking up. My solution is no diaper changes overnight except if there’s already soaking through of some kind.

We do have a bathtub, which is good, because the kitchen sink is extremely gross most of the time and too small for a baby after 2ish months. I’m not comfortable using the regular bathtub until 9+ mo when the kid is sitting really well.

As for clothes that go over the newborn’s head…nice idea but don’t like 90% of the clothes go over the baby’s head? Or maybe you’re just talking newborns <2 mo of age? For our kids we did tend to dress them both in pjs until they were 1-2 mo old, thereby avoiding clothes going over their heads, but at a certain point it becomes unavoidable since every single onesie goes over the head.

Shari G. 2 years ago

I never used my baby’s changing table. Waste of money! Dressed and diapered him on the bed all the time.

Leslie Langwell Travis 2 years ago

I love you! Your amazing!! Is there a way to subscribe? I would love to read more of your stuff.

Katherine 2 years ago

I laughed so hard I at #2. This was a great article. I found this website today and love it.

Ashley 2 years ago

This was great!!!

Zee 2 years ago

When cloth diapering, no one (that I know) puts poo in their washing machine!!!!

Pam 2 years ago

You are hilarious! At wipes warmers I was laughing out loud. I did have a bumbo though and it was useful. I didn’t think it excelled my children’s abilities any but it definitely help with feeding and they liked to play in it when they could crawl and walk around. Anyway, funny stuff!

Miranda 2 years ago

For all you up-tight mothers..grow up, this was an article for comic relief. This was a simple way for some of you to relieve stress & have a laugh from being so worn out from your little ones. & the writer knows that shit doesn’t go into the wash machine…Jesus…read between the lines, it’s a thing called sarcasm!!!

Jo 2 years ago

Holly cow! I’m laughing so hard im crying. It 4 am I can’t sleep and I woke my husband laughing! This is so funny and true!!

Your mom 2 years ago

Ha! The blog was flippin hysterical…but…the ridiculous responses take the cake. A little cheap entertainment for us parents who can see the humor in raising kids. All of you replying with nonsense really need to lighten up and quit taking life so seriously 😉 it’s ok to laugh at yourselves. After all, I took a Facebook IQ test and got a 90 and I am still able to, somewhat, legibly type out this reply. There’s some hope, cupcakes!

Banana 2 years ago

First of all, I love you. Wanna be my best friend? 😛 Not even joking. I love your sense of humor, some of it is a lot like mine and this really had me laughing.

Second, I want to go through your list.I got my son a Winnie the Pooh bedding set that came with everything, including the bumper. I actually used the bumpers because without it he kept getting his arms and legs stuck through the stupid crib bars and would wake up screaming his head off and I figured he was far enough away from them without having to worry.. when he was move to the crib, anyway. We still haven’t used the comforter yet, BUT his crib turns into a toddler bed as well so the rest of the bedding WILL come in handy eventually.

With the clothes that go over their head, I never had a problem with my son. I think it might depend on the baby, but he was really good with letting me switch onesies whenever I wanted or needed to.

Never did get a wipes warmer, but I figure maybe you’d avoid the problem you had pointed out if you got a portable one and were able to bring it with you wherever you went. I always feel bad when my baby like shrinks back against the table because the wipes are freezing.

I barely got my son any shoes because when he was born, it was summer, BUT I did get him some little crib shoes for winter for when I took him out. It’s warmer to have socks and shoes even if they’re not totally legitimate shoes. I didn’t want his little feet freezing.

Never bought expensive baby clothes. I always get them either clearanced or whenever I get a 30% off and I feel like the price gets marked down low enough. That’s generally at Kohl’s. I get some great deals.

Didn’t get a “fancy” stroller either.

Of course we need car seats. 😛 They actually won’t let you leave the hospital without one and without having it installed properly.

Lastly, never heard of the bumbo seat or tee pee thing. Didn’t get any as gifts either. They sound pretty useless to me. I used to just prop my son up on the couch and he’d sit there fine. lol AND you should totally add those walkers to the list. They actually hinder a child’s walking capabilities so it takes them longer to learn how to walk. If you get one of those things you hold onto yourself though and help them along, that’s fine.

Granny Langlois 2 years ago

Love it. I’m a granny now and I see my daughter doing the same thing. Expensive bedding..etc. Its something you have to learn on your own I guess. Thanks for this story…it made me laugh. I even shared it with my husband. Lol

Carrie Lynn Kirkpatrick 2 years ago

Hands down…this is this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I haven’t laughed this hard in 6 months!

April @ 100lbcountdown 2 years ago

I never knew that people used Bumbo to help them learn to sit up. I used mine to entertain my daughter. The little table would have her toys on it. We occasionally use the bathtub, but only because someone bought it for us. Love the list.

Kati Fenner 2 years ago

I like to use baby tubs because I bathe them on top of their changing table for the first couple months. It’s just easier for me because everything u need is right there. Plus my back is a pos… other than that agree 100%. Btw… WTF is a pee pee teepee?! Am I the only person wondering this? lol

Lola 2 years ago

The baby tub – My sink is filthy, tiny and there’s no way my daughter can sit up in it as an infant. For the person who mentioned washing dishes and your hands in the sink – I don’t rub my hands all over the sink when I wash them, or my dishes, for that matter. I’m a clean person and clean it out, but there are dried bits of food in my sink and I wash out plates that have had raw meat on them into it. Also, when they’re a bit larger and you transition them into the tub, the baby tub is smaller and, therefore, uses less water, so you’re not filling up your entire bathtub and wasting water/electricity. They’re only about $20, anyway.

A fancy stroller – no, you don’t need a $1,000 designer stroller, but if you buy a $100 one, chances are the first time you fly and trust the baggage people with your stroller, it’s going to come back with something broken. If you don’t fly, it’s not an issue, but if you do, spend a bit more for something sturdy. Do you need the $300 bassinet attachment or $100 parasol? Probably not. Do you need to spend a bit extra to get one that has a travel system, so you can just click that carseat onto it, and don’t have to wake your sleeping baby to get him/her into the stroller? Probably. Think about getting something your child can grow with, something that will last, can be used for a second child, and something that is a combination of compact (fits in your car along with groceries), sturdy and lightweight.

The bumbo seat – I have the Mamas & Papas version of this and it’s a life-saver. My daughter wants to see what I’m doing when I’m cooking, so I can just set her in it on the counter (it’s very sturdy and she’s not going anywhere in it!) and she watches. Otherwise, she’d be somewhere else crying over not seeing what’s happening. I sometimes put her in the Ergo, but when I’m chopping things with a sharp knife, I definitely don’t want to be wearing her. They’re expensive and really not necessary, but they can be nice to have.

Fancy bedding – get two or three $10 fitted sheets from Target and a sleepsack. You don’t need anything else. You’re going to be given so many quilts/blankets as gifts, anyway. You can throw those things on the floor so they can roll around on them.

Expensive clothes – don’t even buy something from Baby Gap that isn’t on sale. $35-40 for a dress your baby is going to drool all over or poop on? No. Wait until it goes on sale for $10-15, because it will. Don’t buy your baby something like Baby Dior, unless you don’t care about money. There are so many affordable, cute clothes for babies, there’s no need to spend a fortune. Also, young babies will be wearing sleepers/onesies most of the time, and you’ll soon find that putting them in outfits everytime you leave the house will be annoying. My daughter has a ton of clothes she never wore, because I was stupid and thought I’d dress her in outfits everyday. Nope. Not even close. I found myself putting her in outfits she was about to outgrow, just to take photos for the grandparents, ONLY so they didn’t go completely to waste. Oh, and as for coats – if they always leave the house in a carseat, don’t even bother. Getting an infant into a coat is a nightmare. Get one of those carseat sleeping bag things, which make coats completely unnecessary. A baby isn’t supposed to wear anything bulky anyway, so the carseat straps are tight on them.

Shoes – the only time you’re going to want your baby (who doesn’t walk) in shoes is when you’re taking photos or going somewhere that they’re dressed up, like a wedding. You can find a cute pair for $5. They’re going to wear them once or twice and kick them off after a few minutes, so be cheap. Babies don’t need Uggs. Yes, baby shoes are tiny and adorable and I found myself having to buy them, but resist the urge if you can (I couldn’t, so I won’t judge).

    Kez 2 years ago

    Thank you so much for talking about the coat. My baby is always in the baby car seat blanket and there are so many women who tell me that the baby should be in a coat. I don’t know why I feel the need to try and explain myself to them. SHE CAN’T WEAR A COAT IN THE CAR SEAT! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND THANK YOU!

edik415 2 years ago

Other things you don’t need:
1) Video baby monitors. Heck, I’m not even convinced that you need an audio baby monitor.
2) Diaper changing tables. Unless you don’t have a floor.
3) A special “glider” chair for nursing and rocking the baby. Unless you don’t have a chair.
4) A “stroller sack” that encloses the entire stroller/car seat in cold weather. Cold air still gets in. Stay inside if you don’t want your baby to get cold.
5) Bottle warmer. If you insist on warming your baby’s bottle, use the stove. But really, babies can drink cold milk.
6) Gerber (or other brand) baby food of any sort. Buy a food processor, some fruit and vegetables.

    edik415 2 years ago

    …and disposable diapers. Sorry, I had to say it. Buy cloth diapers and learn how to clean them without putting turds in your washing machine.

      Molly Guagliardo 2 years ago

      Cloth diapers vs disposable diapers – for my first child I signed up for a cloth diaper service that delivered right to my front door. Some reasons for this decision were: 1) eco-friendly. 2) they seemed more comfortable to baby’s skin. 3) lovingly presented with baby’s fresh linen weekly. What a huge mistake: a) baby can be stuck by pins. 2) disposable were more sanitary 3) disposable were more absorbent 4) the putrid odor, while awaiting pickup, was nauseating; whether precleaned or not, the smell hung like smoke in a fire. Sometimes u would rather inhale smoke from a fire. There are many more reasons this was a wasted first-time mother
      Changing tables vs any comfortable flat surface. Bed. Floor. Sofa. Crib. Car. Anywhere but changing table. Ultimately serves as disorderly clutter depository.

        Melanie 2 years ago

        How long ago were you a first-time mother? Nobody uses pins anymore.

          Molly Guagliardo 2 years ago

          It’s hard to admit but by now it’s been decades. Children are now 32 and 33 yrs old. I’m very well aware and grateful for the upgrade and changes in baby items. Especiall diapers. Sometimes wish these items were that way back then. It probably would have made life so much more easier.
          My question to u is : if not pins then how does one attach cloth diapers?

          britt 2 years ago

          They have snaps and velcro now on cloth diapers so no more pins

        Beth 2 years ago

        As a mother of 4, the youngest now 20, I can tell you that they all wore cloth diapers and none of them were ever stuck by a pin. There’s a lot to be said for cloth diapers. Even the new ones like “Fuzzy Bunz” (that my granddaughter wore) that grow with the child, don’t use pins and no need for rubber pants and have reusable liners. I will say, that the “old” pre-folded diapers had multiple uses – from burp rags to dust cloths. I still have a few that I use for dusting and they are still in great condition (not that I’d use them on a baby, but they’ve held up through the years). I’m a big fan of umbrella strollers and I think the kitchen sink is a great bath tub (not to mention, the kitchen table, a bowl of warm water and a wash cloth – infants aren’t running marathons, they don’t have to be submerged to wash them). “Pee-pee-teepees” – seriously??? If they are what I think they are, I will tell you that the first time my son peed on me (my face, mouth, hair, clothes) when I was changing him, I learned to be very quick with that diaper. Some of the other stuff listed, seemed a little non-essential to me as well. The one thing not mentioned were baby bottles (and it seems there are now half a million different brands out there now, as opposed to only two when my kids were babies). We had 3 choices: Evenflo, Playtex, and Gerber. My kids ate baby food, and still, to this day, they all love Gerber Oatmeal (as do I). I loved this article, even if some of the stuff was foreign to me. Thanks for bringing this grandma up to date. I have 3 daughters who have yet to have kids – I will be better prepared to help them with the decisions when the time comes. Best of luck to all you young moms and moms-to-be! It’s not an easy job, but it’s well worth the time and effort you put in to raise your children!

      permafrost 2 years ago

      Judgy mcJudger, lol

    nbgiant25 2 years ago

    Some of us do need baby monitors. We can’t all co-sleep or have a house with all the bedrooms within two steps. If my kids wake up or start crying after a nap or in the middle of the night and need to be attended to, I’d have no idea without a monitor. They’re upstairs and down the hall.

    permafrost 2 years ago

    I have jarred food on hand for when I go out. it doesn’t need to be refrigerated so if I don’t use it that day it stays in the snack bag for next time. Lifesaver.

Amandak 2 years ago

OK so #7 is a must for me and no it’s not because I’m scared of germs. It’s because there are times that I am tired and my sink is full of dishes and the baby needs a bath… worth every penny!

Melissa Ann Edmons 2 years ago

I actually do need a baby bathtub. My sink has two faucets. one super hot and one super cold. no adjusting possible…. Old house.
So I need the bathtub for the bathroom that has water with adjustable temps.

kitty 2 years ago

Also, women warmed the washcloth for baby’s bootie before baby wipes were invented.

kitty 2 years ago

People who use cloth diapers do not put poo in their washing machines. The diaper and all feces is rinsed before the washer.

    crazedmommy2008 2 years ago

    So you put the poop in the kitchen sink that makes it all sooooo much better thanks for clarifying

      Ali 2 years ago

      They have a rinser that attaches to your toilet and it all goes down the toilet

Jen 2 years ago

BEST POST IN THE WORLD! Thank you for making me (FTM) laugh!!

Angela M Giglio-Stopczy 2 years ago

I used the crap out of my bebe pod!! And it’s probably the longest used equipment from 3-12 months

mizfortunez 2 years ago

Poop doesn’t go in the washing machine. Maybe research before you say something. But other than that it was cute.

Stacy McKinney 2 years ago

Too funny, I actually did not buy ANYTHING on this list. Although some people gave me the bumbo (I never used it), the pee pee teepee (never used it), The bedding I bought I made sure to buy the set W/O the bumper (I made my own that only cover each rail). I LOVE the way you put everything about each item. Thank you for the laugh.

Jennifer Dill 2 years ago

Bahahaha! Yes!
Especially the baby bathtub! Like, I have to scrub both the real, big tub AND this tiny thing with five hundred crevices and drain holes and corners?!? No. Thank. you.
My sink is a no-go for the baby washing, though… All of my little ones have been super allergic to like every single thing you can buy cheaply (thank you, ancestors with sensitive skin, who must have angered a shaman at some point, cursing our family for generations), and their skin rebels terribly at touching anything that has ever once touched any other kind of soap – ever. But we just do the sponge bath-y on the counter for a long time, until baby is big enough to sit up on his/her own and then we use that handy dandy little tub from the hospital that they send home with you. :-)
Although, someone did give me a nice little fold-up baby tub with my last baby, and that was pretty sweet. It actually did fold up and fit under my sink! But I still had to (read; should have) scrub it… Which is completely uncalled for.

    Ashley 2 years ago

    I have the super cool “baby jacuzzi tub with built in shower head” that bubbles (after putting in the dozen C batteries) and a tiny water reservoir that needs to constantly be refilled. We used it once. My baby screamed the entire time at a decibel I never thought possible (at one point I swear my dogs were in the hallway smashing their heads against the wall). He pissed, everywhere. Now our expensive fancy baby jacuzzi with built in shower head that bubbles while it eats up $30 worth of C batteries and lights up and teaches your kid how to speak Latin and worship the devil sits beautifully in its very own hidden corner of the nursery.

Caitlin 2 years ago

As a person who works at Babies R us as a furniture consultant trust me we associates definitely don’t think you need all the stuff the company we work for sells. I have had many registering mothers ask me if certain things on “the list” were necessary and most of the time I reply No absolutely not. And as far as the “has a lobotomy or needs one” comment, (even though sometimes we wish we had one to deal with some of the customers we have to on a daily basis) please make sure you understand that not all stores are like that. You probably encountered a less than star performing associate who was having a bad day. I can assure you (at least the 2 stores I have worked at) are very uplifting, honest, and most of the time pretty cheerful. Most new mothers don’t know what they need and what they don’t. and considering I work in the furniture and bedding department I greatly enjoy explaining what they NEED and what are just nice to have accessories. And as far as bumpers go they are not sold in those big expensive sets anymore so they have the option to buy it or not, and there are breatheable bumpers now that are less than half the cost and are a perfect alternative if you are unconfortable with traditional bumpers. The blanket (quilt) that comes in those is not meant for use with the baby any way it is purely decoration, meant to hang on the wall or over the baby’s crib, which I make sure every mother knows so they are clear on what they are spending their money on. And as far as registering it is always a good idea to register for those things you might not necessarily need because the goal is that you won’t have to buy it any way if you are having a shower. In the end if no one bought it you still don’t have to buy it and haven’t waisted any money. A lot of the people I work with are mothers and will always be honest with customers on what are needs and what are not. But just saying I loved the #10 I have always laughed at the pee cup and thought it was humorous. I had a mother ask me once if it was a need and I told her buy a towel and save 10 dollars. But I would expect to get one at your shower anyway cause people think somehow it is an awesome gift.

Hannah 2 years ago

I didn’t avoid using the sink because of hygienic reasons, but because of the tap being awkwardly in the way. I have a very tiny sink. But I didn’t use a baby tub, just took him in with me.

As for car seats, in some provinces of Canada, it’s mandatory to have an up to date car seat before being discharged from the hospital.

    Gillian 2 years ago

    Wow! are you completely without a brain or sense of humour…or both?

      EpicallyTalentedSinger 2 years ago


    Babies No More 2 years ago

    The first time baby has a big crap while you are in the tub with him, you will find an alternate way to bathe him, trust me (been there done that!) lol

Heather 2 years ago

I have a great idea! All of you butthurt moms should shut the fuuuuck up and get off of the Internet. It’s supposed to be funny (and it was), just…just go. Go away.

This was hilarious and so true, definitely taking all of this advice if I ever have a second baby!

P.s. Sorry if my language fucking offended anyone. I’m really motherfucking sorry.

    Angry Gamer Dad 2 years ago

    You madam, Are AWESOME! I enjoyed this article too. The only people who have something ignorant to say are probably the dumb bags of cunt who went out and bought all this shit, And think that maybe if they keep up their fanboy/girl consumer appearence, that the company who they shelled out $1756.83 for organic, lavender scented, limited edition, Cradles Cap Prevention Cloth. That maybe they might throw them a bone, because their husbands havent fucked them in 3 years because they spent the whole time talking about how much they want to get surgery to deal with their baby fat, rather than doing exersize. Yes Complain and Judge the person who wrote this article, all you professional mothers with your little clipboards and list of expectations you have for your 4 year old. Its going to be all the more tragic when he/she becomes a junkie, pawns all your shit, and then moves to a nice cozy location under a busy intersction, where they can learn life lessons from the other hobos, whos parents took control over too much of their childrens lives. Have fun blaming everyone but yourselves, you lazy, sex starved, hover people.

      EpicallyTalentedSinger 2 years ago

      You sir are intriguing! 😉

      Loblolly 2 years ago

      I would disagree on one point… I doubt the women on here can afford the things they are so passionately bashing. Instead of wasting time and energy responding negatively to articles such as these, the same women should inquire in to the ads regarding making money from home with no skills that are advertised on all the websites they frequent.

    dk 2 years ago

    Pathetic :-)

Cloth Diaper Mom 2 years ago

So no poop diapers in your washer, but poop crib sheets…
Cute but contradictory article. Enjoy your babies ’cause they grow up fast!

    Gillian 2 years ago

    Wow cloth diaper mom, you really nit picked and stretched to pull that “contradiction” out if this satirical article. You’re an ass with too much time on your earth friendly hands.

      Mb 2 years ago

      And you are an incongruent asshat. It’s not a stretch at all. I use disposables, and came to the same conclusion.

K Biehl 2 years ago

So true on all of it, except the turds in the washing machine. If you’re cloth diapering and putting turds in your washing machine, you’re doing it wrong.

Nichole 2 years ago

Okay, with this being comment number 650, I doubt it will be read by many people… then again that isn’t going to stop me from saying my piece. First I have to say I laughed so hard I cried at each and every one of these! Our daughter was the first granddaughter for all three sets of grandparents… can we say SPOILED! Family purchased a lot of the stuff on this list… and most of it was never used and placed on craigslist… with the exception of the fancy stroller… Loved that thing until it fell apart. Then it was left in the middle of the mall parking lot. LOVE this post!

Karina 2 years ago

I was born and raised in Asia (No, not China, Japan or Korea) and when we had our little boy on my 2 year of stay in the US, my trip to babies r us is like the first time I went to bed bath and beyond… Too many unnecessary f’ng choices! so everything listed above, which I admit to buying almost all of them (and regretted later) except the wipe warmer, were not even heard of in my birthplace. Add the “all organic” baby sling, pack and play (2 of them), jumperoo, playmat, 10 different kinds of baby bottles (2 of each kind), rocker (1 for Mom and 1 for baby), matching baby room stuff from curtains to crib mobiles, white noise thingamajig, a chic diaper bag, toys, toys and more toys… all on the first 3 months of the baby’s life. well, at the end, we were too broke to could not even afford to celebrate our babys’ first birthday. I blamed myself because I should have known better. of everything listed as baby’s essentials, the most important one was MOM and DAD.
It was a good thing we bought half of these things from Amazon and they have great return policies.
The only thing I kept was the battery operated snot-sucker! ^_^
So to all Mom-to-be, motherhood instincts kept humankind from being extinct. Every Woman is born with one. (and the Man is compelled by evolution to provide support so don’t insist on the equal task that he needs to change the diapers just like you- it has to be his choice too)
Oh and btw, I used a bedding cover as a sling just like my forefathers used on us and my baby calms down and goes to sleep in 5mins (maybe I should not have done that because he is now 18mos old and 26lbs)

Marie 2 years ago

You have got to be the most hilarious person I’ve ever read on the Internet and so refreshing! Boy am I tired of reading politically correct people too scared to insult people with their opinions! I agree 100%…..people need to stop buying some of these ridiculous things for their babies who just either poop on them in 5 seconds or grow out of them in 5 days and all these germaphob people are crazy! People have been having babies for thousands of years without any of these stupid baby inventions and kids need germs to build up their body’s immune system! Terrific post!

Jenny 2 years ago

I LOVE this! We have 4 children and had every do-dad imaginable for the first one…….It just takes living life with children and doing what works for you. This was very funny, thanks for the laughs!

Gramzy 2 years ago

So your sink isn’t clean enough to wash a baby in, but its clean enough to wash dishes/hands etc? Babies have been getting bathed in sinks for hundreds of years, and we has a species have somehow managed to survive. Wash out the sink before you put the baby in it. Besides…. babies need to be exposed to a certain amount of germs to build up immunities. We are so freaked over sanitizing everything and this is why kids now days have so many allergies and come down with so much stuff.

    Someone20001 2 years ago

    This is true. My old neighbor was so adamant about giving her kids hand sanitizer, washing their hands, keeping them clean all the time. They were ALWAYS sick…and I mean ALWAYS. Me, on the other hand…I let DD4 get dirty outside. I only make her wash her hands after going to the bathroom, and she rarely gets sick!

    hilbuk 2 years ago

    My sink is clean enough for washing hands (because I don’t touch the sink when I do that) and washing dishes (we have a dishwasher, so we don’t fill the basin to wash dishes) but not clean enough to wash a baby. It’s not that I’m a germophobe, it’s just that if you’re giving your baby a bath it’s to CLEAN the baby. So adding food particles / grease to your baby during the bath doesn’t seem like the best plan. Cleaning out the sink first would totally work but it takes more time and I’m lazy. We have a whale bathtub and it is a huge pain to store in the bathroom but it does the trick and we’re satisfied with it.

      Cynthia Negron 2 years ago

      By that logic wouldn’t you have to clean the bathtub before the bath then? Because you put a filthy baby into it last time and then they sat in their filthy water for a while and then you just rinsed it. Or maybe not even that? Just a thought. We use a bath seat in the big tub and only wash the whole ensemble like every other week or so.

Shanny333 2 years ago

Haha this is great and I agree with my third child I got the cheap necessities and saved stuff from my second

    Darcy 2 years ago

    I am having my third child and when I was registering I kept thinking about all the things I didn’t use– high chair, bath tub, play pen, stroller etc… Then my mother in law was asking me all kinds of questions about why I hadn’t registered for anything big and I just said because I don’t need it. I did register for the seat that goes INTO the bathtub though. So many of those things are just crazy and unnecessary.

Jennifer Merritt Frisbee 2 years ago

I don;t agree with the Bumbo seat or the baby bath tub. the Bumbo seat was a life saver with my last child, she loved being able to sit up and see everything. I would never bathe my baby in a sink, yuck. Too many germs, def love and used the baby bath tub ALOT!

    Dree Sikorski 2 years ago

    Um, sanitize the sink before hand.

      Miranda 2 years ago

      Lol if your sink isn’t clean, that’s your problem. Talk about a stinky kitchen! You realize you eat off those dishes, right? I clean my sink every time I’m done with washing the dishes (thought it was basic kitchen hygiene) and also bathed my daughter in it. She’s fine and also doesn’t smell like leftovers.

        Anna 2 years ago

        Do u sanitize the sink after every person washes their hands in it too?

          Jessi 2 years ago

          Do you sanitize your tub after every shower? How about every time someone poops in your bathroom? Those germs go airborn when you flush. Oh god, we keep our toothbrushes in that air too, how will we ever survive? I’d take the kitchen sink over any bathroom surface any day (I mean if I actually gave two shits I would)

        =) 2 years ago

        yeah okay miss “perfect”…

        jf 2 years ago

        spraying down the sink at the end of the day seems like part of the job description, but even if you didn’t, why not just do it right before you bathe the kid? It would be easier than cleaning up the tub, although I’m starting to wonder if anyone even thought of doing that!

      Miranda 2 years ago

      Dree that is to the original comment. Not yours. my bad.

        Jennifer Merritt Frisbee 2 years ago

        I don’t really wash dishes in my sink, I have a dishwasher so yeah, my sink isn’t gross or nasty like you are implying it is, I mean you don’t know me at all so why are you trying to make such a big deal about where I bathe my kid. I use a bath tub, you use the sink…to each their own. Get a life instead of picking a fight online.

      =) 2 years ago

      yeah, that’s gonna work out every time… =/

      Jennifer Merritt Frisbee 2 years ago

      My kid, my business, I don’t want her sitting in a sink to give her a bath, I am a actually very OCD about cleanliness so nothing in my house is nasty, believe that. I prefer a baby bath tub, always have always will. That is my business just like it’s yours to put your kid in a sink to bathe him or her.

    xion 2 years ago

    using the baby bath tub was actually more convenient for me. and easier. i didn’t have to worry about my baby slipping out of my hands and cracking her head on the metal from my sink. for people who use the sink, fine, if that works for you then thats cool. but they make baby tubs for a reason.

    hilbuk 2 years ago

    instead of a bumbo, get a bouncy seat. same effect, but not bad for your baby.

      Jennifer Merritt Frisbee 2 years ago

      Used a Bumbo with all three of mine and they are just fine, thanks for the advice but I got this.

Isa Richardson 2 years ago

My Son takes a bath with me, he is only 2 months old. After all, he seen me naked. Bath Tub costs money. Another thing, Wipe warmer isn’t used for my son, I warm the wipe up with my clean hands when it is in the diaperbag. No bumper pads for my son. I am a 1st time mother and what I am doing works for me.

jacob 2 years ago

I don’t agree with the baby tub on this list. I wouldn’t want to put my kids in the sink. Its dirty from all the mouth and face washing.

    abnm208 2 years ago

    Not the bathroom sink!! The kitchen sink!

    mom247 2 years ago

    Um i have put my baby in the bathroom sink.. maybe if it is too dirty to wash the kid in then it’s too dirty-so wash the sink!

    Momof3 2 years ago

    The only reason I don’t agree with the whole sink thing to give the kid a bath is… Have u ever tried to hold a slippery wet infant that is kicking and screaming Cuz they don’t like baths and are too little to sit up my them self while try to wash them and rise them off and not all while trying to not let them hit their head on the sink. Did it once NEVER gonna do it again.

Alex 2 years ago

You have baby tub on both lists…

Crystal 2 years ago

Perfectly said.

perla 2 years ago

Hilarious! !! Love it! !!

Tony 2 years ago

I found it amusing that one of “the only 12 things you need” is a baby bathtub, which you denounced as a waste.

Jen 2 years ago

Do you know what I discovered to be a complete waste of money when Kid 2 was born? Pacifiers. Kid 1 was a binky junkie. She always had one (or two) in her mouth, a couple more at the ready in her hand/pocket, three in her crib at all times… we had them everywhere. So when Kid 2 was born I went out and stocked up, and guess what? She wouldn’t touch them. She turned out to be a thumb-sucker. Totally useless. My point is that even though motherhood is a universal condition for women with kids, it is a unique experience for each of us. What is useless for one can be a lifesaver for another. I get tired of watching mothers have to defend themselves over every little thing when we’re all just trying to do the best we can for our kids. Share your experiences and wisdom, sure, but why do we insist on bashing one another when we have a different experience and opinion? Nobody needs a $1000 stroller, sure, but nobody needs to drive a Mercedes either. Who cares. I’m not talking about the blog author, by the way, because that shit’s just funny.
Signed, a mom who found baby bathtub to be useless but thought the Bumbo was pure genius for Kid 2

Sydney 2 years ago

Wow I don’t understand why so many of you feel the need to fight on here…you are all allowed your own opinion there’s no need to force feed it down other moms throats and as far as the cloth diapers I don’t care how green the are its gross it reminds me of an episode of extreme cheapskates where they used cloth squares instead of toilet paper..again not for me. And then the wipe warmer you’ve got to be kidding me I live in michigan and it was -40 yesterday the last thing I’m worried about warming up is a damn baby wipe and no one goes to therapy because their mom didn’t wipe there ass with warm baby wipes so sorry kids but you’re getting a room temperature baby wipe

Max 2 years ago

The funny thing is I believed none of your points before I had my first child…my second child received none of the items which you listed as needless. I think I also used dirty towels from the garage a couple of times in a pinch. 😉

mrsktel 2 years ago

Pee pee tee pees oh how I hate you. The choice is pee on himself and me or put a teepee on and the pee dribbles on himself and the changing table. The pad on thoae tables is not washable but my clothes are. Soooooo guess I’m getting peed on.

KLF 2 years ago

In 1979, I was adopted at the age of 6 weeks. I slept in a crib, wore disposable diapers, was bottle fed formula, and I turned out just fine. My adoptive Mom couldn’t have children. I know research shows that breast milk has all sorts of benefits including increased brain development/possible higher IQs or whatever but, my four younger cousins were all bottle fed as well and they all turned out to be some of the most intelligent people I’ve ever known.

Laura 2 years ago

Something to consider the Price Lionheart wipe warmer makes an excellent night light…beyond that it’s useless because it dries out the wipes.

Jaime 2 years ago

I agree with everything that’s said here, but as someone who worked for Babies R Us, isn’t that introduction going just a BIT too far? Employees there are just that-employees. They’re trying to earn a paycheck just like everyone else, and have no control over what items are put on that list, or what items they’re forced to recommend. When I worked there I did my best to help the new moms get the things they needed, and tried to keep them away from the useless items…but in all fairness, I had to do my job, just like everyone else. And saying that I’d had a lobotomy or needed one simply for doing what I was instructed to do to earn my paycheck? Classless.

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Tierra 2 years ago

I thought this was a cute and hilarious one. I couldn’t help but laugh I still want the Bumbo and Baby Shower/tub for the next kid , go a for a gently used one, because this Incredible Hulk 7 month old boy I have… is alot to handle without the extra toys.

    Kristen inDallas 2 years ago

    yeah… bumbo’s aren’t really necesary for “teaching” them to sit up… but if you have a little baby cheetah like I did, they do make a nice, socially-acceptable alternative to a straight jacket. :)

      MomOfTwo 2 years ago

      Yes!!! I scoffed at the Bumbo when I got it, but man does it get used. I have zero intention or expectation for it to help my baby “sit up” but it allows us to sit down at the table and my son can be part of things without being bounced on our knees while spilling food all over the place. And yes, I know you aren’t “supposed to put the Bumbo on the table,” but it’s the only place we use it.

    permafrost 2 years ago

    use the bumbo to bathe the baby! no need for a tub, his/her face is out of the water, and it’s small enough to fit anywhere! hahahahaha! #2birds1stone

Jen Suan RN 2 years ago

Or use a neat product I found and have been using on many items in my home, as well as clothes…Folex. This stuff is amazing and it gets everything out of anything. Try it.

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