Today is your BIG day. You’ve been working furiously and diligently for 18 long years. And you finally have the high school diploma to prove it.
That diploma is the golden ticket to the freedom you’ve been yearning for your whole life. You’re ready for independence. You’re hankering to be out on your own. You really want your parents off your back.
Congratulations! Your dreams are finally coming true. Here’s a list of your new liberties.
1. You can stay out all night — every single night that you want. No one will be there to impose arbitrary curfews. And you now get to haul your own ass out of bed in the morning. Even when you’re hung over.
2. You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want, wherever you want to eat it. No one will nag you about your veggies or prevent you from eating ice cream straight from the carton. And you now get to shop for all of that food and prepare all of your meals yourself. Every single day (if you like eating).
3. You can open your own credit card and buy whatever your heart desires. No one will lecture you about fiscal responsibility. And you now get to make your own money to pay the balance on that account every month. Or learn about compound interest and late payment fees.
4. You can wear whatever clothing you want to wear. No one will force you to put on a horrible coordinated holiday outfit or tell you your attire is inappropriate. And you now get to do your own laundry — sort, wash, dry, fold, and put it all away. (No way you’ll iron anything.)
5. You can get a tattoo or a body piercing any time you want. No one needs to sign a permission form. And you now get to care for the wound, treat any infection, and deal with any regret all by yourself.
6. You can sleep in as late as you want. No one will holler at you to get out of bed. And you get to change and launder your own crusty, smelly sheets.
7. You can decorate your place however you like. No one will tell you your décor doesn’t match or is offensive. And you now get to patch up your own walls and fix your own shit around the house if you break it.
8. You can watch YouTube videos until dawn. No one will shut off the Internet at midnight or hide the password from you. And you now get to configure your own router and pay for said Internet services.
9. You can set your own schedule. No one will tell you where to be every day. And you now get to arrange your own transportation, too!
10. You can adopt that cat you’ve always wanted. No one will prevent you from bringing that kitten home. And you now get to clean the litter box and feed it so it doesn’t die.
11. You don’t have to listen to anyone nag you about picking up your room. In fact, you don’t even have to clean your new home at all, if you don’t want to. And you now get to do your dishes (or buy your own paper plates) and clean up your own vomit. (I’ll be honest — that last one really sucks.)
Again, congratulations! You’ve always wanted more freedom, and now you have it. So bask in your glory and reap all of your rewards. And your new responsibilities.
See how much fun being an official adult is?
Related post: 4 Rules for Adult Children Living at Home