Teens, though, have their own way of measuring time. First off, teens today do not even own a watch, unless it’s a watch that’s really a wearable computer. Looking at a clock with numbers and minute and second hands seems foreign to them; fortunately for them, the DVR displays the time digitally, as does their cell phone. Still, even with their electronic devices to guide them in getting things done in a timely manner, they adhere to their own ideas of time. And it’s not pretty.
1. Request: Please clean your room.
Your teen says: Soon.
True timetable: When your teen can no longer open the door without falling into a pile of clothes.
2. Request: Please start studying for that big test.
Your teen says: Okay.
True timetable: Next week, the day of the test, while on the bus to school.
3. Request: Please look up from your cell phone.
Your teen says: In a minute.
True timetable: Five hours from now.
4. Request: Please take the dog out.
Your teen says: Fine.
True timetable: After the dog poops in the living room.
5. Request: Please send thank-yous for the birthday gifts.
Your teen says: Later.
True timetable: Just before your teen’s next birthday.
6. Request: Please close the window, the air conditioner’s on!
Your teen says: Yep.
True timetable: Next winter.
7. Request: Please participate in family game night.
Your teen says: Mmmhmm.
True timetable: When all of your teen’s friends are out of town.
8. Request: Please stop playing that video game.
Your teen says: Yeah.
True timetable: When you unplug the television.
9. Request: Please come out of your room.
Your teen says: Nothing, he can’t hear you with his earbuds in.
True timetable: Three hours later, for dinner.
10. Request: Please put your dishes in the dishwasher.
Your teen says: Sure.
True timetable: Never.
And the biggest challenge of all:
11. Request: Please give me a hug before you head out.
Your teen says: Ewww!
True timetable: When you grab your unsuspecting teen as he’s walking by and put your arms around him. For a second, time really does stand sweetly still.