There are some things that parents don’t want to hear, especially from strangers. Things like “Why are you letting your kid eat that?” or “You really should [insert annoying an unsolicited advice here]” (because chances are, no one cares what YOU think I should do with my child).
I mean, yes, moms can always use feedback and constructive criticism and we appreciate all opinions… for the most part. But we don’t like it when we’re told something as if your way is better. Parenting is kind of like politics, we all have our opinions, but we respect others’ even if you don’t agree with it.
Here is what I have learned in the short five and a half years I’ve gained the title “Mom”: You do what is the best thing for your child. If it works for you, then awesome! Keep on keepin’ on. But everyone and every child is different (mind blown, right?).
Today someone actually smiled and said to me: “You have two boys? You need to try for a girl.” Which leads me to my first thing moms of boys don’t want to hear:
1. Are you going to try for a girl?
Oh, is there some magical place where I can shop to choose my girl of choice? And also, no. I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell my kids: “you get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.” I’m lucky to have the two kids I have; not everyone gets the chance to become a mother.
2. Boys are so wild!
Yes, yes they are. Thank you for stating the obvious. Aren’t all kids wild in their own way? Boy or girl? I mean, aren’t kids just kids? Don’t they all have a little wild side to them? Yes, mine are wild, I agree. They are boys; they are a year and a half apart. Together they are a shit show. I am aware of this.
3. You know boys leave their moms and go off with their wives.
Well, here’s the thing: I know a lot of girls who have complicated relationships with their moms and boys… well, I’m yet to meet a boy who hates their mom.
Yes, my boys may leave me or they might not.
Your daughter may leave you, or she may not.
Not only boys leave. Kids leave. They move out for college or they get married and they leave.
It’s called growing up!
4. Boys are smelly.
Tell me something I don’t know. But doesn’t everyone smell at some point? I mean, it’s not like girls are born with some unicorn gene that makes them never smell.
5. Aren’t you sad you’ll never be able to braid or put bows in your kids’ hair?
Ummm, I can barely find two matching socks. You think I am going to get all Jen Atkins on my daughter? And besides, maybe I will. Who knows what my kids will be into at some point?
Here’s what it comes down to: Boys and girls are both very special in their own way. I never really imagined having boys or girls; I just knew I wanted kids someday. I got pregnant and had boys, and that was it. I was blessed with boys and, after having boys, I never wished for anything else.
I feel lucky.
I was made for them.
I am the “girliest” girl in all the land, and being a boy mom has taught me so many wonderful things. They have shown me a side of fun I never experienced growing up as a girl. The dirt, it’s fun. Riding a skateboard with my kids, so fun! Crashing monster trucks, fun! Baseball, it’s now fun to me.
Boys are fun!
I have these wild, loving, hardcore mamas boys. And whether they are like that just for the moment when they are younger or for the rest of their lives, I am embracing every second of them. I can’t predict the future and nothing is promised. Having a girl does not promise any kind of togetherness for the rest of our life. My rambunctious boys adore me, and I adore them. All I know is I will raise them to always love all equally, value their family, to be gentlemen, to respect everyone they come across, have common sense, do good, be the best husband and the best father to their kids.
That is my job — it’s to raise these little boys into grown men that I can throw into the world, and without me or their father, would be perfectly ok. It doesn’t matter what the sex of my children are; the end result for us parents is the same, to raise good people, in this sometimes shitty world. And if they never return to me, but take everything I’ve ever taught them with them, then I know I’ve done something right.
So please spare me, the “you need a girl” bullshit as if a girl is going to come into my life and complete it. My life is completely complete with my little dudes. #momofboys