“Are they all yours?” Who would ask a question like that? Probably the same people who ask “Are you the nanny?” or “Are you pregnant?” Some people just don’t have a filter… or a brain.
One mom who was sick of answering the question “are they all yours” when she was out with her brood of four children thought of a brilliant idea to send a not-so-subtle message about the size of her family:
“Yes, they are all mine.” Natalie Lesnefsky designed the adorable cotton canvas tote to shut the haters up in style. She sells it on her Etsy store At Home With Natalie for $19.99.
She says on her Etsy page, “I designed a tote bag to use when I take my little traveling circus out…in response to all of the ‘Are they all yours?’ questions we get. Even when it was just three kids we heard it.”
When you become a mom, the boundaries some strangers have seem to disappear. It’s the weirdest thing. The belly touching and unsolicited advice begins in pregnancy, and by the time you’re a mom you’re pretty used to fielding inappropriate questions. But that doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting. “I don’t really see where the struggle is,” Natalie tells Babble. “People don’t have filters and they might mean well, but don’t realize how they come across and that you’ve already heard that same comment a couple times that day.” I had a friend whose son had a slightly fairer complexion than hers. Several times a month she was asked if she was the nanny. Who in their right mind would ask that question?
Yes, some people are just trying to make polite, harmless conversation. But just as you should never ask a woman if she’s pregnant, you should also refrain from asking boundary-crossing questions about family size. It’s awkward. This bag provides of fun way of saying — “Yes, I have a big family. AND?”
Natalie says that she loves her large family and is open to having more children in the future. “I love seeing them interact with each other, when not tormenting each other, and just watching those relationships blossom!” she says. “By far some of my favorite moments have been when the big kids come to the hospital and meet their new sibling. It’s magical.”
Good for her. She doesn’t have to explain her family planning choices to anyone. There’s a popular internet meme that fits well here…
“I used to care what people thought of me, until the day I tried to pay my bills with their opinions.”