A Girl Mom

137 Comments

I’ve got two little girls. Unless the universe has another surprise in store for us, I will always be a “girl mom”. I know several “boy moms;” moms who are the lone female in their houses and plan to keep things that way.

“Boy moms” love to tell me how lucky I am. How easy I have it right now with two sweet little girls, who are adorable, full of sugar ‘n spice ‘n everything nice.  Yet, in the same breath, these “boy moms” express their sympathy for those awful drama queen moments I’ll have to endure in the teen years. There are times when these moms border on being condescending. And there’s nothing I hate more than a condescending mom.

Boy moms, allow me clear up some myths for you…

1. My boys are so rough and tumble, I’m exhausted chasing them around. You are so lucky to have little girls!

Girl mom reality: My younger daughter is a runner, a climber, and an explorer. She scales anything that even has the hint of a foothold. She dashes away at any opportunity. She tackles her big sister. She can break out of any harness or gate. She falls, she bumps, she scrapes, all within arm’s reach of me. She is non-stop. She is exhausting. I don’t think missing a Y chromosome slows her down at all.

My older daughter? She’s been called “affectionately aggressive”. Which means she plays rough. She’s reduced more than one little boy to tears when she tackles him to the ground with a hug.

2. Ugh. My boys are disgusting. You are so lucky to have little girls! 

Girl mom reality: My child has finger painted with her own poop. Multiple times. She’s had tea parties with water she drinks from her straw cup and spits into her tea set. My little one spends a good portion of the day with her hand down her diaper. Boys don’t have the market cornered yet.

3. Girl clothes are the best! Everything is so cute! And when little girls dress themselves, even when they don’t match they just look adorable! You are so lucky to have little girls!

Girl mom reality: My girls are stuck with short sleeve holiday dresses – in the dead of December. I’d love a nice sweater vest. I’d also like to point out that your toddlers aren’t encouraged to wear booty shorts and jeggings. We’ve all got issues.

4. Trains everywhere! Hot Wheel tracks won’t stay together and I’m the one who has to assemble them all! You are so lucky to have little girls!

Girl mom reality: Maybe not, but we’ve got princesses and doll clothes. Doll clothes that my almost three year old doesn’t have the motor skills for yet. Not to mention that my girls are fascinated by cars and trains as well.

5. Ooooohh… but I don’t envy you once those girls get to be teenagers! I am so lucky to have little boys.

Girl mom reality: I’ve heard the stories from my husband’s teenage years. I might have to deal with a little drama and a few tears, but chances are pretty good that my kid won’t be escorted home after flipping off a cop or attempting to car surf. Was it a teenage girl who just took down our mailbox when they ran their four wheeler off the road? I don’t think so.

When your child is frustrating you, it’s easy to think that the grass is greener, cuter, and smells better on the other side. But  just because my girls wear ribbons on their pigtails doesn’t mean I don’t have a mud ring around my bathtub. We’ve all got our own challenges in this parenting thing. Let’s just agree that every kid is full of surprises, and save these boy/girl worries for the teenage years.

I’ll be the one hiding under the bed.

Comments

  1. 1

    Sara says

    Lol. I’m a mom of two girls as well and I believe they’re messier than any boy I’ve seen. Dolls, my little ponies, stuffed animals, shoes and dresses, its a sea of pink everywhere I look!

  2. 2

    Heather Gochoel says

    I have a 6 month old girl. Even before she was born people were saying how lucky I was that I'd get to dress her in all the cute, frilly girly clothes. The problem with this? I hate the pink, frilly, girly clothes. I think my mother is seriously disappointed because I won't let her get the frilly dresses.

    • 3

      Meredith says

      Right now, I get to choose the clothes, so we’ve been avoiding the mini-tween and the frilly princess! But my three year old is already starting to express preferences and I think my days are numbered!

    • 4

      Debby Lewis says

      Suck up the frilly stuff for now. I suffered with a little bit of pink myself but after a bit, you can get other colors. Or at least revel in the fact that she can always ruin them with one good whirled pea puke moment! ;)

    • 5

      Rebecca MacEgan says

      I have 5 daughters. I was resistant to pink as well. So I bought BRIGHT colors in stripes and polka dots and mix and matched everything. Also, nothing is cuter than a pink sweater with a skull in a bow! They choose their favorite color around age 2, so you will be dressing them in their fave color after that. My DD#3 loved green, and nobody was selling green girl clothes. Rit dye for white clothes became my best friend.

  3. 6

    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes says

    Just the other day I walked outside to find my two little princesses sitting in the mud singing something about happy pigs. A love of mud is not just confined to males…

  4. 7

    The Next Step says

    ha! SO TRUE!! I have 3 girls, and I was one of 3 girls, so I’m pretty sure I know what’s coming – and I’ll take that over all that boy stuff in a heart beat!
    And my girls? The eat off the floor, they pick their noses and eat it, one of them would sit in her own poop all day long if we let her, and they ALL tackle, wrestle, climb, run, and hit. And they pull hair & scratch.
    Now, if we could just get all the moms on the same page about raising their kids to be nice to each other. :-)

  5. 8

    Janine Huldie says

    Fellow girl mom here and think you summed this up quite nicely!! Once thing, an I hid under that bed with you too?? Lol!!!

  6. 10

    Tia says

    I am the mom of a 1yr old girl and stepmom to 2 teenage boys. People have told me that I “need” to have one more kid, so that my daughter has someone to play with…I tell them that I’m already doing the teenage boy thing, and I’ll be putting up with the teen girl thing too, so since there are no other options, I’m good with what I’ve got. It may sound selfish to the little old Southern ladies, since they stare at me like I’ve just told them their haircut needs to change since it hasn’t since 1983, but I’d like to end up halfway sane.
    Plus, it’s better than the reason I tell my girlfriends, which is, “I only have one uterus to worry about becoming pregnant….”

    • 11

      The Next Step says

      LOL, a friend of mine with two boys likes to say, “I only have to worry about two penises, YOU have to worry about ALL of them” ;-)

      • 12

        Meredith says

        Both true…we’ll be trying to keep the penises and uteruses separate for as long as possible!

  7. 13

    Kathy Radigan says

    This is so great!! It’s so true, we do always seem to make the grass greener on the other side! I am completely screwed since I have both, two boys and a girl!! And, as painful as a lego injury is, it aint nothing compared to a polly pocket one!!! Lol! Thanks for a great post!!

  8. 14

    Anita@ Losing Austin says

    I have two boys and have always thought I was the lucky one! Except on the clothes- I just wish there were option.

    • 15

      Kristin Shaw (Two Cannoli) says

      I have one little boy and he is perfect for us! My sister has three girls, so between us, we have a good match, and I’m just thrilled that he’s happy and healthy.

  9. 16

    jeannine says

    I have 3 girls and 2 boys and while they all have different personalities and go through varying difficult stages, I have to agree with everything you’ve said, especially #3 and #4. Really hate those polly pockets!

  10. 17

    Tracie says

    Yes so much to the #3. The older my girl gets, the harder it is to find clothes for her that don’t make me want to run away to a remote cave with her.

  11. 18

    Kiran says

    I find this post a little condescending towards “boy moms.” I have one of each and they are healthy but individuals in their right. All kids are, regardless of gender. It sounds like your children are also their own people. Bravo to them.

    • 19

      The Next Step says

      I don’t think Meredith intended to be condescending. She’s just kind of responding with humor to the condescending comments people have made to her in the whole “boys vs. girls” debate. Having 3 girls, I’ve gotten all those comments and then some, but I don’t take offense to them. Even when someone scrunches up their face and says, “THREE GIRLS? Oh, you POOR THING!”

    • 20

      Meredith says

      Sorry you felt that way! I think my point was that there is NO easy or hard gender to raise – all kids are individuals with their wonderful moments and icky moments. I personally hate any hints of condescending judgment, so know that was not my intent.

  12. 21

    Janet Dubac says

    Boys and girls are each harder in different ways. Furthermore, each child is unique in his or her own way. The bottom line is that raising children is hard work, regardless of gender. So as they say, “the grass is not always greener on the other side.”

  13. 22

    Leslie Piggott says

    So true. I have one of each gender and while they both follow gender-stereotypes fairly closely, they both have their moments of life outside that box. It’s always an adventure! It seems like there are a lot of people out there that want you to really feel how HARD life is for them and that yours could not possibly compare.

    • 23

      Meredith says

      I think that’s the motivating factor behind all of these – my life is SO much harder than anyone could possibly understand. Or, on the flip side, trying to show they feel SO BAD for what you need to endure. Boys, girls, mix of both, they all have their challenges!

  14. 24

    HouseTalkN says

    AMEN! I have 2 boys and 2 girls. My boys are horrified by my daughter’s burping abilities and there is no shortage of rough housing- by both boys and girls!
    Love this!

  15. 25

    JD Bailey @ Honest Mom says

    SO TRUE. Especially the clothing issue. Sure, baby girl clothes are adorbs. But I have a really tough time finding appropriate, fun clothes for my 7yo. Bootie shorts and trashy t-shirts galore. Blech.

    Great post!!!

    • 26

      Natasha says

      Can I get an Amen?! Trying to find cute, fairly on trend clothes for a 9yo without making her look like a hooker?! It’s like looking for the holy grail. (Thank you, Mini Boden, for being the holy grail)
      Also: said 9 yo girl is rough and tumble, has broken bones from daring stunts, and has never touched a Barbie. She is also sweet and sensitive and a bookworm.
      3 yo boy is the same-rough, tumble, obsessed with monster trucks and loud things, but the best cuddlier ever. Kids are kids-let them be.

  16. 27

    Jess says

    As a boy mom, I definitely have all these thoughts… but gender shouldn’t be something that makes parenting easier at any point. I love how you’ve pointed out both sides of the coin here, and I’ll be right there with you (at my own house of course) hiding under my bed during the teenage years. THAT’S scary no matter what.

    • 28

      Meredith says

      Right now I’m choosing to stick my fingers in my ears and hum whenever anyone mentions the fact that I’ll have two teenagers, 19 months apart, at one time.

  17. 29

    The Shitastrophy says

    I have one of each and can say that they both have their moments – it is not just one. My daughter takes great delight in her farts, which my husband and I are figuring will help to keep the boys at bay. Loved the visual of the spit in the tea set, gotta love that!

    • 30

      Meredith says

      The first time I saw her doing it, I threw up in my mouth a little (and did not spit it out into a teacup). I thought back to that circling internet tale about the daughter serving tea out of the toilet and actually thought I might prefer that!

      As for the farts – my three year old lifts up her beautiful gown so we can smell her butt. It’s classy.

  18. 31

    Carisa Miller says

    Funny, it doesn’t feel like I’m time-sharing them, but we seem to have the same children! This was great, I feel the VERY same way on all points. Wrestling, climbing, check. Clothes…I dont even get to choose them anymore and the girls are only 4 and 1.

  19. 32

    Lauren says

    Hear, hear! I only have one girl, but it bugs the heck out of me when other moms talk about how “rough and tumble” their boys are, and how lucky I am to have a sweet, mild-mannered little girl. What a stereotype! My daughter is as rough-and-tumble as they come, and I love her that way.

    P.S. I think I have heard ALL of the above comments, and they all rub me the wrong way, too.

    • 33

      Meredith says

      Glad I’m not the only one! It bugs me when anyone makes an assumption on how my girls ARE or how they WILL BE, simply because they’re girls. Yes, my three year old daughter has drama queen tendencies right now…but so does my friend’s three year old son. I thought that was a three year old thing (please tell me it is and it will magically disappear at 4)!

      • 34

        Mercy says

        No, it just gets more dramatic at 4…and 5. My son will be 6 in a few months and he can cry at the drop of a hat. All I have to do is say no…:)

        • 35

          kaycee says

          My oldest is almost 8 (in just 2 weeks) and she came out of me with drama queen tendencies! Over the years, its gotten exponentially worse. She’s an amazing kid, smart, talented, creative, but my goodness if she isn’t a 16 year old on the inside.. I’m already hiding under my bed, my 3 year old right along side me. I’m a girl mom as well and every single thing you’ve mentioned has been true for me too. It’s nice to know I’m not alone!

  20. 36

    Kiwi says

    LOL. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. I tell people that my daughter might as well be my third son, she’s the most “male” out of them all, biggest mess, shortest attention span, etc.

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