A Girl Mom


I’ve got two little girls. Unless the universe has another surprise in store for us, I will always be a “girl mom”. I know several “boy moms;” moms who are the lone female in their houses and plan to keep things that way.

“Boy moms” love to tell me how lucky I am. How easy I have it right now with two sweet little girls, who are adorable, full of sugar ‘n spice ‘n everything nice.  Yet, in the same breath, these “boy moms” express their sympathy for those awful drama queen moments I’ll have to endure in the teen years. There are times when these moms border on being condescending. And there’s nothing I hate more than a condescending mom.

Boy moms, allow me clear up some myths for you…

1. My boys are so rough and tumble, I’m exhausted chasing them around. You are so lucky to have little girls!

Girl mom reality: My younger daughter is a runner, a climber, and an explorer. She scales anything that even has the hint of a foothold. She dashes away at any opportunity. She tackles her big sister. She can break out of any harness or gate. She falls, she bumps, she scrapes, all within arm’s reach of me. She is non-stop. She is exhausting. I don’t think missing a Y chromosome slows her down at all.

My older daughter? She’s been called “affectionately aggressive”. Which means she plays rough. She’s reduced more than one little boy to tears when she tackles him to the ground with a hug.

2. Ugh. My boys are disgusting. You are so lucky to have little girls! 

Girl mom reality: My child has finger painted with her own poop. Multiple times. She’s had tea parties with water she drinks from her straw cup and spits into her tea set. My little one spends a good portion of the day with her hand down her diaper. Boys don’t have the market cornered yet.

3. Girl clothes are the best! Everything is so cute! And when little girls dress themselves, even when they don’t match they just look adorable! You are so lucky to have little girls!

Girl mom reality: My girls are stuck with short sleeve holiday dresses – in the dead of December. I’d love a nice sweater vest. I’d also like to point out that your toddlers aren’t encouraged to wear booty shorts and jeggings. We’ve all got issues.

4. Trains everywhere! Hot Wheel tracks won’t stay together and I’m the one who has to assemble them all! You are so lucky to have little girls!

Girl mom reality: Maybe not, but we’ve got princesses and doll clothes. Doll clothes that my almost three year old doesn’t have the motor skills for yet. Not to mention that my girls are fascinated by cars and trains as well.

5. Ooooohh… but I don’t envy you once those girls get to be teenagers! I am so lucky to have little boys.

Girl mom reality: I’ve heard the stories from my husband’s teenage years. I might have to deal with a little drama and a few tears, but chances are pretty good that my kid won’t be escorted home after flipping off a cop or attempting to car surf. Was it a teenage girl who just took down our mailbox when they ran their four wheeler off the road? I don’t think so.

When your child is frustrating you, it’s easy to think that the grass is greener, cuter, and smells better on the other side. But  just because my girls wear ribbons on their pigtails doesn’t mean I don’t have a mud ring around my bathtub. We’ve all got our own challenges in this parenting thing. Let’s just agree that every kid is full of surprises, and save these boy/girl worries for the teenage years.

I’ll be the one hiding under the bed.

About the writer

Meredith is a former music teacher, mother of two young girls, and writer of the blog "From Meredith to Mommy." Meredith writes about transitioning from her former life to a mother and wife, shares reflections about her journey, and anecdotes from her life with her two little girls; the sweet ones, the silly ones, and the tough ones. Find her on Twitter @meredithtomommy, Facebook and Pinterest.


Nefful products Taiwan 2 years ago

You can definitely see your skills in the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.

K Lew Is 2 years ago

Proud mom of a girl who wanted Jason (the Friday the 13th guy) birthday cake and watches zombie movies with daddy. (The old ones, not the new ones with sex and over the top language). Lets just raise happy kids shall we?

Cameron Clark 2 years ago

Gender stereotypes are ridiculous. Let’s all be individuals. My daughter and son BOTH love to paint their nails in red and pink. If you tell a child “that’s a girl thing” you undermine their ability to explore in this world and discover their own preferences. After my daughter was 6 months old my mother said to me, “you know how you wanted two boys? Well, you got them.” My daughter embodies almost ALL the stereotypes of boys yet she’ll do it all in a pink leotard with sparkle nails. I love her. I also love my sweet sensitive and generous boy who tries to save every creature while playing matchbox cars. Having easy teenagers doesn’t depend on their personality or gender… it depends on how you raise them. #1 most important part of a child’s development is spending QUALITY TIME every day with their parent (parents). Play with your children. Interact with them, be their parent but be their friend. Build a relationship with your child and it won’t matter what gender they are.

Katie 2 years ago

I don’t know how many times I’ve sat through a play date where my daughter is running, yelling, climbing, jumping, throwing toys, destroying things, and generally being an unholy terror while a little boy the same age sits quietly and blows bubbles or draws with sidewalk chalk or just watches her running amok, and then when the boy expresses even the slightest interest in a truck or a ball, the mom will boast, “Oh, he’s all boy.” Which leaves me to wonder, “Then what the hell is my kid?”

It makes me sad, because while a boy who acts like my daughter gets affectionate, “boys will be boys!” comments, when my daughter acts like my daughter, people get concerned and start asking me about discipline and, “Well have you tried…?” It drives me crazy that everyone’s first impulse seems to be how they can get my daughter to sit down, be quiet and take up as little space and attention in the world as befits a girl, while encouraging the very same rowdy behaviors in their own male children.

Beth 2 years ago

I have two girls (3 years and 4 months) and love it!

Completely agree on the doll clothes! Why do they make those so stinking hard to get off and on? My three year old is constantly wanting to dress her dolls and can’t do it without me doing it for her. Drives me crazy.

Lynn 2 years ago

VERY true!! My daughter loves to climb trees, catch spiders, make mud pies all while wearing a pretty pink tutu. My son loves music and art but loves to take things apart to see how they work. Legos were his favorite toy for the LONGEST time! We have entered the teen years and while things have changed a bit, under all the hormonal crap I still see those qualities that define them. I think it helps that I have one of each because there is a certain perspective they get growing up with members of the opposite sex they wouldn’t get otherwise. No child should be pigeon holed no matter what it is.

Kathy at kissing the frog 2 years ago

As a mom of five boys, I have often longed for a little girl – oh the cute clothes, oh the mom/daughter dates of shopping and mani/pedis and theater. But you know what? I would never want to go through all the drama again. I have a drama KING as it is. I also have little softies, rough and tumblers, shoppers, and theater lovers. My friend’s daughter dressed as Batman for Halloween, prefers to play with the boys, and refused to dance at her dance recital. And my friend handles it all beautifully. I, however, would freak out!

In preschool, there’s a saying, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” We could compare all day and wish we had what others have all day, but at the end of that day, we got exactly what we needed. And, I get to have daughters-in-law someday. So, that’ll be fun. 😉

Great post, Meredith! Thanks for helping us to see both sides of the fence!

Deneen Cole-Ashbury 2 years ago

Thank you to writing this! I am the mom of 2 girls (and a boy) and when people say "oh you're so lucky" I just cringe! Whether I have 2 girls and one boy or 3 boys or 3 girls doesn't make make me any more or less lucky! And if you feel that way, you don't deserve your kids.

April 2 years ago

I have three teenagers, one girl and two boys and 5 nephews and 3 nieces from 2 to 11 years old. We all live on the same street and all I can say is there is NEVER a dull moment. We have such a combination and never know what to expect!

Molley@A Mother Life 2 years ago

It’s irrelevant which sex you have, all kids are different. I have a sweet boy who is quiet, thoughtful and caring and a girl who is a freaking bulldozer. Cry for me, I know the teenage years will require alcohol, alot!

The Girls’ Guide to Guns and Butter 2 years ago

I hear ya. I have two girls and a boy, and they are all equally messy, rough-and-tumble types. In fact, my oldest daugther in particular mainly plays with boys on the playground at school – their games are somehow more active, just how she likes it. I also have a baby and she needs to be chased THE entire time.

Tracy Momaical 2 years ago

My little one TORTURES her big sister. She's always the one breaking things and jumping off heights that make me nauseous trying to get her down from. And, we have eleventy-billion Polly Pockets that cover everywhere in the house. Don't get me started at the disgusting things my 3 year old eats. That's a whole other pile of disgusting!

Mommy23 2 years ago

So funny! Especially the short sleeve holiday dresses. So true! And I have to say, boys of moms don’t have to deal with stores like Justice where a pair of socks is like $12.

Mom of 3 girls who beat each other up and do disgusting things and laugh about it.

Katie 2 years ago

I have two girls as well and you just described them to a tee. They can be just as rough and messy as a boy or sweet as the next girl. I have heard from many people on “oh just wait till the teenage years, I am so happy I won’t have to deal with that”. I don’t think they realize boys can throw tantrums and hissy fits too:)

Lauren (Don’t Lick the Trash Can) 2 years ago

Love this! Mom of a boy but love this perspective!

the calibamamom 2 years ago

Meredith…You ROCKED this post. And I’m convinced that somehow, you are describing my girls, because you nailed their personalities to the tea. Seriously. Are you spying on my house? LOL.

Amanda 2 years ago

Amen. To it all. My tutu-ed and beribboned children love nothing more than to strip down to nothing and literally roll in mid puddles. Kids are kids. Boy/Girl has nada to do with innate behavior.

As 3-girl mum (and also the oldest sister of a sibling set made up of 11 girls and 1 boy), I also have to add that the “Gonna keep trying for a boy?” question is SO offensive. Especially when asked in front of the kids. (I mean, my girls are young yet, but I can remember my mother being asked that, and thinking “Why? Are we not as good as a boy?”)

    the calibamamom 2 years ago

    I have 3 girls also, and CONSTANTLY get the “Are going for that boy?” question. So, my standard reply now is “No. That ship has docked, because we got exactly what we hoped for the first 3 times: healthy, beautiful babies! And besides, The Man loves being King of his castle full of princesses.” That usually shuts them up :)

      Amanda 2 years ago

      My parents met while they were both in the navy, so whenever she got asked if my dad wanted a boy, she’d respond that he “lived in a house full of girls- a sailor’s dream!”

      (I mean, I honestly don’t know how much of it was dream and how much was nightmare, but still.)

Celeste Rosnok 2 years ago

No. 1 Describes my little…… "Hell raiser" (used affectionately so please no bashing ) to the TEE! What you have between two I have wrapped up in ONE! Would not change a thing…. Well May be sleeping. Can she please SLEEP….. PLEASE! LOL

Kathy Radigan 2 years ago

I just read all the comments on this thread and for all the women who took offense to Meredith’s great post, I’m sorry, if you don’t get humor why are you reading Scary Mommy? I am shocked that in 2013 a post that just tries to breakdown stereotypes can still bring out the worst in some people.

Dani Ryan 2 years ago

This post is hilarious! I am the mother to one 2-year-old girl, and I can tell you that in every mom-and-me class I’ve done with her (and I’ve done a lot), she has more energy than any other kid in the room. :) And I buy her as many girl toys as boy toys. She loves nothing more than to sit down and play with a bucket full of toy cars, and that’s cool with me!

Such a shame some of the people on this thread didn’t see your sense of humor. I definitely did and I think you’re hysterical!

Sarah Almond 2 years ago

I love this, Meredith! Although I have both a boy and a girl, I really enjoyed this because other than her love of pink and girl things, she doesn’t fit any of those stereotypes! :-)

Bunny Jolly 2 years ago

Yep my daughter is the slop hog that is never clean, but loves high heels tutus and nail polish. My son is always clean and loves cars and pretty girls already. But his favorite color is purple and he isn't afraid to play babies and dress up with his sister. My daughter is younger butalready tackle her brother, but he can dish it pretty good and usually deserves it. So yeah amen to stereotypes being phooey!

    Shannon Beshara 2 years ago

    Your kids rule!

    Bunny Jolly 2 years ago

    Could you imagine if we got our kids together Shan? They would take over North America in a day! And then all the clothing stores next. Lol

Autumn Taylor Yates 2 years ago

I just gave a wipe bath to my two year old girl who decided to take a dive into a mud puddle, cute summer dress and all. :)

When Crazy Meets Exhaustion 2 years ago

My daughter is 2 years younger than my son and she takes. Him. Down. She's rough and tumble; he's introspective and sensitive. Your piece was about breaking gender stereotypes, and I'm sorry that some people didn't read it that way. Interestingly enough, the ones who got pissy and said you need to calm down are the ones who should take their own advice. Damn, ladies, where's the Mom Love? Go do a crossword puzzle if you're going to be a Mean Girl.

    One Classy Motha 2 years ago

    Hahaha! Totally agree AND I think we have the same children! My 4 yo daughter is giving my 9 yo son a Half-Nelson right now while he screams “Uncle”. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know the correct truce phrase is “Aunt”.

Julia Mejorado Tyndall 2 years ago

If I ever make a "thank God I have a boy comment" it is mostly because I knew how crazy I was as a girl and how hard it was for my mom to raise me. Having said all that, I am sure my boy will give me a run for my money and my mom will enjoy every minute of it.

    Doni 2 years ago

    So funny. My mom did admit that it brought her a little bit of satisfaction to see my older sister who was a “handful” raise two of her own “handful” teen girls.

zumpie 2 years ago

Okay, firstly about clothes: there are plenty of long sleeved holiday dresses, even for small girls. Buy her something in velvet, panne velvet or even velour and she’ll be plenty warm (while still looking fabulous!). However, I did luck out in this area, because we live in PDX, where winter isn’t all THAT harsh (like snow once every other year).

As for (once again) the whole “hooker wear”) where DO you ladies shop? My daughter has always been dressed like a perfect young lady and I do almost all my shopping online. There are (amidst the way too bright and sparkliness) acceptable clothes at Justice, there are tons of cute things at Boscov’s, The Bon Ton and Kohl’s. Let alone a more upscale boutique store or brand. All easily ordered, at decent prices, online. Not to mention American Girl, which while expensive, has generally exquisite clothes that are extremely well made and long lasting. You can find fully wearable used things on ebay, all the time.

As for teenage girls and clothes—-ever since she’s moved into actual teen clothes (and especially since we’re taking a cruise next month), it’s been a shopping party. Prom and party dresses are almost as exquisite and enchanting as little girl party dresses. The hardest part is picking which one. And FYI, I don not mean those hideous things with super short skirts and cut outs, I mean classic dresses with embroidery, full skirts and sweetheart necklines. Just adorable.

Speaking of teenaged girls—-I agree with Meredith here. There’s a reason why insurance rates are lower for teen girls than teen boys: they’re more responsible and mature faster. Teen boys can be every bit as (if not more so) defiant than teen girls—they just stereotypically do so without wailing.

I strongly suspect what boy moms mean by trouble is “in trouble”—-because boys can’t get pregnant. But guess what? That’s why you need to be open and honest with your daughter and include that in responsible decisions and choices. And even if it does happen, there are choices to be made. And they will also impact the boy in question and his family.

Kelly Smith 2 years ago

thanks so much for sharing the poo painting (we called it Poo-casso) moments. When I was preggo, everyone told me how they knew someone whose kid did this. When my kid started doing it at every nap and overnight and I wanted to comiserate with someone, no one actually experienced it. It is nice to know that there is at least one parent out there who knows what it is like to corral your kid in the tub while you throw sheets in the laundry, wipe and bleach the entire crib (for the fourth time that day) and then go hose off the offender.

    Meredith 2 years ago

    I didn’t know ANYONE else who had this happen to them, though of course I’d heard of it. NO ONE could commiserate with me and I had no idea how to handle it! That poor crib has gotten more bleach scouring than I ever imagined, and forget passing it on. I think we’ll be burning it.

      jeannine 2 years ago

      I had a year of poop smearing. It was my boy, but just goes to show ya, gender is kind of irrelevant itn this case.

      Amanda 2 years ago

      OH MY GAH! We had this SO BAD. Anytime I mentioned it, somebody would pipe up with a “oh, my nephew/cousin/daughter/neighbor’s kid did that once. So terrible.” and I would just look at them like- Yeah, my kid did that once. Today. So far.

      It was sometimes 2 (or more) times a day, for literally months. That’s super fun to deal with when you’re pregnant/dealing with a newborn. I felt like NOBODY understood what I was going through.


      But when you try to find somebody who can commiserate and you start down that google train… let’s just say there are some weiiiiiiiiird fetishes.

Doni 2 years ago

Mom of two girls and one boy who are currently deep into teenager status. Don’t be too freaked about the teenage years. I was terrified of potty training, then it happened, and I look back and laugh at how not a big deal it was. Same as parenting teens. You deal with it a day at a time and next thing you know, they’re off to college. The fun I have with my teens outweighs any drama, etc. Maybe I have “easy” kids. Maybe we’re amazing parents. :) Either way, no need to fear the teen years any more than the terrible twos, etc. And I agree with most posters/Meredith, there’s no such thing as a typical boy or girl.

    zumpie 2 years ago

    Agreed. Granted, she’s just turned 13, but she showed teen tendencies when she was 6!!! Since I’m pretty open with her, we just haven’t seen a huge difference.

      Doni 2 years ago

      My kids hit their teen years around 11 (one of mine was much earlier like yours) and by the time they were 14 seemed to be pretty even keel. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the hormones raging through their bodies during puberty. snort. Like you said, it’s really all about being open with them and treating them with respect. My 11yo was in hysterics about something totally irrelevant (to me, lol). My first reaction was to get in her face about the drama of it all, but then I took a step back and we ended up having a very good conversation. I still get random “I love you” texts from my college kids. It’s a great feeling.

        zumpie 2 years ago

        Awwww, right now we’re watching movies together (and yes, she begs both my husband and myself to do this with her, still). It’s really amazing how respect and understanding over fear and authoritarianism works, isn’t it?

        BTW, not to say we don’t have all sorts of battles, just not as many—-and I get to know her secrets, so I don’t have to worry!

    Meredith 2 years ago

    Very true! One of the best pieces of advice I got was “everything is a phase – the good stuff and the hard stuff”. Sleeping eventually happened, teething eventually happened, potty training eventually happened…we’re still in the midst of the terrible 2/3s, so we’ll see about that one!

Staci Haws Kramer 2 years ago

Here's the real advantage of being a girl mom vs a boy mom: it has nothing to do with the perceived difficulty raising them. (although I do have to make a boy mom here and complain about the absolute dearth of cute boy clothes available vs. girl clothes but I get why they sell five times as many at half the price to girls because I understand the free market and I know boys well enough to know that they will never care enough about what they are dressed in to create a demand in the marketplace so whatever)
We live in a socially patriarchal society. Women take their husband's name but men take their wife's family. Boys grow up and leave the nest and marry and have families of their own. Girls grow up and marry and have families but still call their mom a couple times a week and are sure to attend all of the family get-togethers and take care of the families they came from as much as the one they create. Not that boys disown their mothers or disappear, but they put their social energy into their own family and let their wives call the shots on how involved they are with extended family. Even a man with a very healthy and happy relationship with his parents probably doesn't call more than once a month to debrief with his mom. There are obviously exceptions but the old saying is true. "A daughter's your daughter for all of your life. A son is your son until he gets a wife."
This is the reason I have a tiny bit of longing for a girl. Sure hair bows and dresses sound fun to shop for but really I just want to secure my Friend For Life.
Don't even get me started on the difference in teenagers of both genders. People talk about overly emotional girls… I get girls. That doesn't scare me at all. What keeps me up at night is the fear of having teenaged boys in a world so full of pornography. I've got roughly ten years to really freak out but I'd take a bitchy 15 year old drama queen with PMS any day over a well behaved, emotionally even 15 year old boy with a secret dirty habit. Right?!?

    Meredith 2 years ago

    Very good point – POINTS. This may be one of the best comments I’ve read.

    zumpie 2 years ago

    Actually, my husband is very devoted to his family and although my MIL is on the other side of the country, he visits her every year—-which I support. I supported his interaction even when she and I didn’t get along (we do now). So not entirely.

    Although my daughter and I are incredibly close (as am I with my mom, though that took some work), I know plenty of women who do not get along well with their moms, even as they’re pushing 50, themselves.

    And BTW, I kept my name, purely because it was prettier

Dawn @ PricklyMom 2 years ago

Love your post! I “always dreamed of” having two boys, and that’s what I got…I’m convinced God is up there laughing at me. :)

My little guys are only 4 and 5 right now, but I’m already wondering how I’m going to teach them to NOT knock up some girl in high school. Maybe I’ll just have to talk sense into their future girlfriends.

Whitney Pendergrass 2 years ago

"I have it worse!"

"No! I have it worse!"

"No! I have it worse! I think I'll write a condescending article and accuse other moms of being condescending!"

    Heather 2 years ago

    “and then I’ll leave a condescending comment”…

    Jenn @ Mommy Needs A Martini 2 years ago

    I think you missed the point. She was in no way saying she has it worse! In fact, she was trying to convey that everyone has it the same, regardless of gender! Maybe you should re-read without your hater shades on.

      Heather 2 years ago

      I agree with you Jenn!! I’m not with the meanie head up there…I was just being sarcastic to that lame brain comment she left. 😉 😉

        Jenn @ Mommy Needs A Martini 2 years ago

        Haha! I know, Heather :) It was directed at the mean girl 😉

Misty Unrau 2 years ago

After raising 3 boys and 2 girls. I can tell u that girls are harder at all stages. So far I've found that teenage boys cry more than girls though. And boys get upsetvover ridiculoys rhings. Our at the time 13 year old boy was upset for weeks that we wouldn't let him quit high school so he could snowboard more. Lol

Ariana 2 years ago

I’ve raised 3 sons, and am now a step-mom to 5 and 3 year old girls. I can confirm that energy level, mischief, and grossness are about the same…but a big difference is noise level and whininess, and girls win, hands down in the contest for high pitched decibel levels. I had one son that was particularly whiney, but I had know idea how bad it could be! And I’ll need to take exception to #3…girl clothes really are more fun and cuter than boys clothes and I love that I have the opportunity to experience that!

Katie Pearce Ogden 2 years ago

Have you experienced boy moms act like having girls would be terrible & how glad they don't have any… like girls are a disease or something? I've got that from several boy moms. I don't get it. Weird!

    Meredith 2 years ago

    Yes! I get that much more often than makes me comfortable. I wrote a piece a few months back for Circle of Moms about how we are content with the two we were given and wouldn’t trade them in for sons. I don’t think there IS a better gender – no matter what parts my children came out with, I love them because they’re ours.

    Marie Heaney 2 years ago

    As a "girl mom" who has experienced such things I think at least some of them are really just jealous.

      zumpie 2 years ago

      Yes—or they’re creepy Mother/boy type moms who didn’t want girls because they’d feel like they were in competition with them for hubby’s love. And truly, if your emotional development is that stilted and warped, you shouldn’t be having ANY children!

Alyse Rainey 2 years ago

<3 this! I have one of each and they both have completely unique personalities, gender aside. And to add one piece to that girl clothes envy, imagine all these nice cute outfits in the mud! It's much less frustrating when your boy goes knee deep into filth in jeans versus your daughter in her pretty purple dress. And I happen to be the mom to a daughter who'd rather fish with her dad and brother than play tea party. It's not nearly as great as boy moms think, at least at our house.

Megan Cady Graham 2 years ago

that is so my 3 year old! she punches her 8 year old brother in the eye one minute and the next she's "doctoring him up" to fix it. she blames EVERYTHING she does on someone else, she only has one other person to blame things on, so she's started blaming the dogs. she loves mud, fishing, and anything outside. but she also loves anything girly, except washing her hair, and combing it. thanks for this post! it was absolutely perfect!

Tracy L. 2 years ago

Love this post…because while I am a boy mom, my mom was a girl mom. And I was a tomboy so she got the whole shebang. And anyone who doesn’t think boys get “emotional” and have drama isn’t paying attention. And if they are a boy mom, theyd better start.

Roxxi D 2 years ago

I understand both sides of this article and some people do need to relax about it. I have a 4 year old little girl who refuses to wear dress but wears her skirts with jeans and sweats. She is rough and tumble just as bad as the boys if not worse. There is no gender “roles” in our household. I call her my girly tomboy and because of this I have best of both worlds wrapped up in my beautiful high energy rough and tumble little girl.

Denise Bertacchi 2 years ago

Rough and tumble doesn't have a gender identy! My first son is so laid back he never learned to climb. He hates sports, he's now my band geek. My second boy is more of a runner, but he's also an artist. I'm up to my eyeballs in crayons, glue dots, tape, paint, markers and little bits of paper. He's made two district art shows and he's only 6.

Heather 2 years ago

I think it’s pretty funny how everyone “genderizes” everything! It has WAY more to do with personality than it does gender. I have 3 girls and 1 boy and my boy is so much more sensitive than any of my girls. It’s just who he is. I really do understand this post. Before my son was born, I always got people saying shit to me about…” oh be glad you don’t have a boy.” Well…I do have a boy and to me it has nothing to do with him having a penis between his legs, and everything to do with his personality. My youngest is a girl, and seriously….she will kick anybody’s ass! She scares me sometimes…;)

Gail Cearfoss Connors 2 years ago

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You have managed to perfectly describe my daughters. Affectionately aggressive iFits my 5 yr old perfectly!

    Meredith 2 years ago

    So glad to hear I’m not the only one with someone who can literally love you to the ground. Hoping she grows out of that trait SOON!

Gina 2 years ago

It just all boils down to people are insensitive, clueless & stupid.

Angela McKeown Momopolize 2 years ago

After running a daycare for years, I have realized there are rough and tumble boys and rough and tumble girls. There are calm boys and calm girls. Depends more on the individual child, not the gender. This is a great post. I have all boys and always said if I HAD had a girl, I'm sure she would have been just as "energetic" as they were.

This is a great post. Gave me a lot to think about (I must admit I've been guilty of the "shopping envy" when it comes to cute girl clothes vs boy. But I never thought about the struggles of shopping for little girls!).

    Meredith 2 years ago

    Exactly! There are times when I want to buy out a store because of all the cuteness, and times when I look at simple holiday clothes and sigh with envy. Ups and downs all around!

Christine 2 years ago

Great post, and I think the message here is that all children, regardless of gender, have their own personalities and traits. I have three daughters and each is different. My middle daughter, now 14, is my most rough-and-tumble of the bunch, but she’ also a teenage girl and has all the drama going on. My youngest is 6 and she likes nothing more than to find and play with bugs, worms, snakesetc. (her 14 year old sister can’t stand any of those things, LOL!) and get muddy – all while wearing a princess dress! My oldest is 18 and is the most mellow, but she’s always hated pink (red and black are her favorite colors), princesses, etc. And I am one of five children (three boys and to girls) but because I had two older brothers I was a total tomboy. So we should all just relate to each other as parents, not as “boy” parents or “girl” parents.

Loretta 2 years ago

I’m a “boy mom” ~ we have four boys who are currently ages 12, 13, 15, and 16 ~ I can swear under oath that boy houses have equal amounts of teenager drama moments to girl houses. Anyone who thinks teenage boys don’t have drama is either in denial or forgets what it’s like to be a teenager.

For some reason people also think that it’s easier to maintain a bathroom with boys than with girls…. these people are crazy. Boys have hair brushes, hair gel, “manly smelling” sprays, deodorants, shampoos, conditioners, shaving creams, razors, aftershave lotions, they take just as long to blow dry their hair as any teenage girl I know, AND on top of all their stuff they have horrible aim in the morning.

However, their future roommates, house guests, and significant others can thank me for I’ve successfully taught them to put the damn seat down (and also that if you don’t want the chore of cleaning the bathroom then you’d best sit down to pee in the morning when things are all pointed and chaotic…)

tara 2 years ago

from my observations (and i consider myself quite an impartial observer – i have no desire to appear more “overworked” than the next mom): BY AND LARGE boys are harder to handle PHYSICALLY than girls. i truly feel they many boys are wired to be that “non-stop” way. and unless one lives that reality day after day as a boy mom one is not in a position to really understand the EXHAUSTION. but i also think there are a LOT of exceptions. i have seen enough sweet sensitive little boys and crazy aggro little girls. my theory is that by the time our kids are having kids, the “equality boom” that’s begun now is going to make us view our grandchildren very differently. if we’ve got the brains/hearts to open our eyes and see the truth, that is. and the truth is that whatever we may look like physically, our internal “genders” are many and are scattered over a matrix rather than clustered at poles conveniently labeled “male” and “female”. the pinks and the blues are so yesterday. tomorrow is purple :) just a thought.

here’s something worth watching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eyTQDX-ItiM

    Meredith 2 years ago

    A very interesting thought. I like purple. :-)

    I think my main point is that all children have their moments. There are calm boys and wild girls. There are kids who DO fit perfectly into the stereotyped boxes (we wouldn’t have stereotypes without those). There are kids who don’t. I think we all just hate feeling like we’re being told our life will be easier or harder, just because of that X or Y chromosome.

Jenn @ Mommy Needs A Martini 2 years ago

Ohhhh my AMEN! My husbands family has all granddaughters and we’re the last ones having kids. So every single Sunday we hear it’s time to add a boy to our two girls because we’re getting off easy with girls! EASY? Good Lord…

Debby Lewis 2 years ago

As the mother of not one, not two but THREE girls, (hubby's alphabet didn't go past X apparently) I can totally AGREE with everything you wrote. Not only am I experiencing the whole "Teenage Drama" at this moment with my 14 year old but I also have the "baby" who is into EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that doesn't try to kill her first (and even if it tried, she'd make it regret ever thinking about it in the first place)! All three of my girls are into the fire department and we have a mass casualty area for our Barbie dolls. My girls obviously DID NOT get the memo about what it means to be "girly". As for the dress idea, I have to BEG them to wear them for the holidays and NOT get into the mud puddles that are inevitably ALWAYS around them. So no, as "Girl Moms" we don't have it easy and I wouldn't change it for the world! But, I must say, the last thing you put in about being escorted home because they did something like flipping off an officer could very well happen in this family even without the "Y" chromosome!

Katy Busch 2 years ago

Absolutely! I've gotten my share of girl comments too, but with 13 months of having both under my belt I have to say that even from an early age I'd have never guessed my boy could take the same messes and rough and tumble attitude to a whole new level.

Notsosupermom 2 years ago

EXCELLENT POST!! I have both and can confidently say you hit the mark in all points! Neither gender is more advantageous. Every child is different. Period.

Mama and the City 2 years ago

My toddler girl is as exhausting as described in #1 which makes clothing #3 boring.

I can’t waste my money buying cute and clean clothes when they will get ripped apart in minutes. Plus, apparently cute little dresses get in her way – you don’t wanna make the girl mad.

Brittania Butler 2 years ago

I have 4 children 1 boy and 3 girls. All that rough and tough and soft and sweet totally depends on the individual and sex has nothing to do with it. I have a rough and tough boy and a rough and tough girl. One girl is soft and sweet and quiet and the 3rd girl has yet to let us know much about how she will be. I'm guessing more on the rough and tough side.

Frugalistablog 2 years ago

I think you sum up perfectly the misguided assumptions people are always so freely to share. I’m sure there are some scientific studies psychoanalyze the difference between parents who raise only boys, or only girls. But I think the playing field is pretty even with the pros and cons.

Debbie McCormick 2 years ago

As a boy mom AND girl mom ( I have three of each), kids are pretty much the same. They make the same messes, they can all be just as loud, and OMG, the small toy parts are just as small whether they are girl or boy toys. It’s all relative. It’s always easy to be a ‘grass is greener on the other side’ but it’s sad to think there are moms complaining about having all boys, or all girls and congratulating other moms for having genders that are different than their own. Sure hope her kids are not listening to that conversation :)

    Meredith 2 years ago

    I hope not. I’m happy with my kids – and would have been no matter how they came out. I think sometimes people just like to complain.

Ambria 2 years ago

The #4 mom are crazy- trains are awesome! I’ll turn on some Orange Blossom Special or Rhapsody in Blue and assemble trains any day.

Shannon Becker 2 years ago

Wow…as a "boy" mom you need to take a frigging chill pill. This is a classic story of the grass always being greener–get over it. I could write a page of how "girl" moms are snide and condescending and make me feel like I am missing out on oh-so-much (mother/daughter mani-pedis, prom dresses, easter dresses and hats, cooking together, crafting together blahblahblah), but I'm not too concerned because I am happy mothering two boys. People need to lighten up and stop letting others control how they feel.

    Meredith 2 years ago

    So sorry you’ve heard the snide and condescending remarks from the other side. Snide and condescending remarks come from all over and they are never welcome to me. I think my point was that all kids are individuals – there IS no greener side. Your kids are your kids, and the happy parts and tough parts are there, no matter what gender you get. I feel like I took a pretty lightened up approach, but hey, I will always take the offer of a chill pill.

    Shannon Becker 2 years ago

    ^^Another that needs to take a chill pill and apparently takes life way too serious.

    Shannon Becker 2 years ago

    Kali Capps PS, I wasn't asking you. LOL.

    Eli Hakeema Soleyman 2 years ago


    Kali Capps 2 years ago

    People need to stop taking things so personally, if you ask me And so there's no confusion, by "people", I mostly mean you. It was a well written post with an obviously humorous undertone.
    She's not talking smack – just using the stereotype as an outline. Jeez….

    When Crazy Meets Exhaustion 2 years ago

    Kali clearly contradicted herself. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

      Jenn @ Mommy Needs A Martini 2 years ago

      I think Kali was directed at Shannon the mean girl.

    When Crazy Meets Exhaustion 2 years ago

    Shannon, you're mean.

Lisa 2 years ago

I love this post. I have two girls and a boy, and they all mix it up pretty well. My girls like to be rough and tumble, climb trees, play with bugs (bleccchhh!) and play sports, but also love fashion, nail polish, playing with makeup, and getting their hair done. My boy loves all of those stereotypical boy things, but he also loves to draw, and loves to dress up in a blazer and tie whenever he gets the opportunity (picture a jock version of Alex P. Keaton.) And the boy and girls are pretty equal when it comes to being gross.

One Classy Motha 2 years ago

Tell me about me it! I have both, and it’s my daughter that refuses to dress up, not to mention she’s made her older brother cry on a number of occasions. Our stereotypes are all screwed up over here!

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons 2 years ago

Amen!!! I have three girls and I’ve heard these same things from others. Let me tell you, my 5 year old can win any belching competition hands down! Love this!

Sabrina 2 years ago

I’m a mom to two girls (though one is still a baby) and my experience with my oldest (6-years-old) is that she is one of the messiest and grossest people I know. My husband and I are horrified at the messes she makes and has been making her entire life. She always has food on her face, plays in the dirt in her underwear (I have to tell her to wear pants when we’re home) and there are a lot more cracks and crevices that need to be cleaned out of a girl, and Barbies are pretty painful to step on. The entire house is overrun with her stuff because she’s like a tornado when she enters the room.

I’ve heard the teenage drama thing too, but it’ll pass. Boys tend to get dumber when they are in their 20s and in college. Also, something my husband says to me is “A son is your son until he takes a wife, a daughter will stay yours for all of your life.”

Shannon White 2 years ago

This list describes my girls also. Yes we have pink and frills but my youngest is also fascinated with trains and anything with wheels and baseball. We have Legos mixed with dolls and bracelets. And gross?? Oh yeah booger eaters and mud lovers and lipgloss handprints all over here. I raised my stepson in his teenaged years. It just hits later with them. He’s 25 now and finally getting nice again. Everyone has challenges. Gender doesn’t define them. Great article.

Jessica Smock 2 years ago

You’re taking away my fantasy! My two year son is incredibly active and so rough and tumble that my legs ache after each afternoon. He is nonstop action. I had always thought that if I had a girl next, life could possibly be easy street… So much for that!

Angela Johnson 2 years ago

As a mom of 3 teenage boys, 1 teen girl (and cause I just LOVE insanity, boy/girl twins age 4) I can tell you that you hit the nail on the head. I will say, that girl drama starts early and now that she’s 13 I find myself pounding my head on the nearest hard surface. The older boys, the drama isn’t as “bad” to me, but they still have their own dramatic “issues” (usually w/ each other). Children of all ages are destructive creatures, they all cost an insane amount of money to clothe, feed, and accessorize, whether it’s ribbons,makeup, clothes in general, or the newest whatever that their friends have. I may have to start hookin’ myself here soon. We’ll see.

Annie O’Hara Thomlinson 2 years ago

I have a boy and a girl… god help me ;).

    Jaden Paige 2 years ago

    Me too Annie! No matter what I guess we are in for it… hahahah! :)

Kiwi 2 years ago

LOL. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. I tell people that my daughter might as well be my third son, she’s the most “male” out of them all, biggest mess, shortest attention span, etc.

Lauren 2 years ago

Hear, hear! I only have one girl, but it bugs the heck out of me when other moms talk about how “rough and tumble” their boys are, and how lucky I am to have a sweet, mild-mannered little girl. What a stereotype! My daughter is as rough-and-tumble as they come, and I love her that way.

P.S. I think I have heard ALL of the above comments, and they all rub me the wrong way, too.

    Meredith 2 years ago

    Glad I’m not the only one! It bugs me when anyone makes an assumption on how my girls ARE or how they WILL BE, simply because they’re girls. Yes, my three year old daughter has drama queen tendencies right now…but so does my friend’s three year old son. I thought that was a three year old thing (please tell me it is and it will magically disappear at 4)!

      Mercy 2 years ago

      No, it just gets more dramatic at 4…and 5. My son will be 6 in a few months and he can cry at the drop of a hat. All I have to do is say no…:)

        kaycee 2 years ago

        My oldest is almost 8 (in just 2 weeks) and she came out of me with drama queen tendencies! Over the years, its gotten exponentially worse. She’s an amazing kid, smart, talented, creative, but my goodness if she isn’t a 16 year old on the inside.. I’m already hiding under my bed, my 3 year old right along side me. I’m a girl mom as well and every single thing you’ve mentioned has been true for me too. It’s nice to know I’m not alone!

Carisa Miller 2 years ago

Funny, it doesn’t feel like I’m time-sharing them, but we seem to have the same children! This was great, I feel the VERY same way on all points. Wrestling, climbing, check. Clothes…I dont even get to choose them anymore and the girls are only 4 and 1.

The Shitastrophy 2 years ago

I have one of each and can say that they both have their moments – it is not just one. My daughter takes great delight in her farts, which my husband and I are figuring will help to keep the boys at bay. Loved the visual of the spit in the tea set, gotta love that!

    Meredith 2 years ago

    The first time I saw her doing it, I threw up in my mouth a little (and did not spit it out into a teacup). I thought back to that circling internet tale about the daughter serving tea out of the toilet and actually thought I might prefer that!

    As for the farts – my three year old lifts up her beautiful gown so we can smell her butt. It’s classy.

Jess 2 years ago

As a boy mom, I definitely have all these thoughts… but gender shouldn’t be something that makes parenting easier at any point. I love how you’ve pointed out both sides of the coin here, and I’ll be right there with you (at my own house of course) hiding under my bed during the teenage years. THAT’S scary no matter what.

    Meredith 2 years ago

    Right now I’m choosing to stick my fingers in my ears and hum whenever anyone mentions the fact that I’ll have two teenagers, 19 months apart, at one time.

JD Bailey @ Honest Mom 2 years ago

SO TRUE. Especially the clothing issue. Sure, baby girl clothes are adorbs. But I have a really tough time finding appropriate, fun clothes for my 7yo. Bootie shorts and trashy t-shirts galore. Blech.

Great post!!!

    Natasha 2 years ago

    Can I get an Amen?! Trying to find cute, fairly on trend clothes for a 9yo without making her look like a hooker?! It’s like looking for the holy grail. (Thank you, Mini Boden, for being the holy grail)
    Also: said 9 yo girl is rough and tumble, has broken bones from daring stunts, and has never touched a Barbie. She is also sweet and sensitive and a bookworm.
    3 yo boy is the same-rough, tumble, obsessed with monster trucks and loud things, but the best cuddlier ever. Kids are kids-let them be.

HouseTalkN 2 years ago

AMEN! I have 2 boys and 2 girls. My boys are horrified by my daughter’s burping abilities and there is no shortage of rough housing- by both boys and girls!
Love this!

Leslie Piggott 2 years ago

So true. I have one of each gender and while they both follow gender-stereotypes fairly closely, they both have their moments of life outside that box. It’s always an adventure! It seems like there are a lot of people out there that want you to really feel how HARD life is for them and that yours could not possibly compare.

    Meredith 2 years ago

    I think that’s the motivating factor behind all of these – my life is SO much harder than anyone could possibly understand. Or, on the flip side, trying to show they feel SO BAD for what you need to endure. Boys, girls, mix of both, they all have their challenges!

Janet Dubac 2 years ago

Boys and girls are each harder in different ways. Furthermore, each child is unique in his or her own way. The bottom line is that raising children is hard work, regardless of gender. So as they say, “the grass is not always greener on the other side.”

Kiran 2 years ago

I find this post a little condescending towards “boy moms.” I have one of each and they are healthy but individuals in their right. All kids are, regardless of gender. It sounds like your children are also their own people. Bravo to them.

    The Next Step 2 years ago

    I don’t think Meredith intended to be condescending. She’s just kind of responding with humor to the condescending comments people have made to her in the whole “boys vs. girls” debate. Having 3 girls, I’ve gotten all those comments and then some, but I don’t take offense to them. Even when someone scrunches up their face and says, “THREE GIRLS? Oh, you POOR THING!”

    Meredith 2 years ago

    Sorry you felt that way! I think my point was that there is NO easy or hard gender to raise – all kids are individuals with their wonderful moments and icky moments. I personally hate any hints of condescending judgment, so know that was not my intent.

Tracie 2 years ago

Yes so much to the #3. The older my girl gets, the harder it is to find clothes for her that don’t make me want to run away to a remote cave with her.

jeannine 2 years ago

I have 3 girls and 2 boys and while they all have different personalities and go through varying difficult stages, I have to agree with everything you’ve said, especially #3 and #4. Really hate those polly pockets!

Anita@ Losing Austin 2 years ago

I have two boys and have always thought I was the lucky one! Except on the clothes- I just wish there were option.

    Kristin Shaw (Two Cannoli) 2 years ago

    I have one little boy and he is perfect for us! My sister has three girls, so between us, we have a good match, and I’m just thrilled that he’s happy and healthy.

Kathy Radigan 2 years ago

This is so great!! It’s so true, we do always seem to make the grass greener on the other side! I am completely screwed since I have both, two boys and a girl!! And, as painful as a lego injury is, it aint nothing compared to a polly pocket one!!! Lol! Thanks for a great post!!

Tia 2 years ago

I am the mom of a 1yr old girl and stepmom to 2 teenage boys. People have told me that I “need” to have one more kid, so that my daughter has someone to play with…I tell them that I’m already doing the teenage boy thing, and I’ll be putting up with the teen girl thing too, so since there are no other options, I’m good with what I’ve got. It may sound selfish to the little old Southern ladies, since they stare at me like I’ve just told them their haircut needs to change since it hasn’t since 1983, but I’d like to end up halfway sane.
Plus, it’s better than the reason I tell my girlfriends, which is, “I only have one uterus to worry about becoming pregnant….”

    The Next Step 2 years ago

    LOL, a friend of mine with two boys likes to say, “I only have to worry about two penises, YOU have to worry about ALL of them” 😉

      Meredith 2 years ago

      Both true…we’ll be trying to keep the penises and uteruses separate for as long as possible!

Janine Huldie 2 years ago

Fellow girl mom here and think you summed this up quite nicely!! Once thing, an I hid under that bed with you too?? Lol!!!

    Meredith 2 years ago

    There’s room for all of us! Come join me and we’ll whimper together!

The Next Step 2 years ago

ha! SO TRUE!! I have 3 girls, and I was one of 3 girls, so I’m pretty sure I know what’s coming – and I’ll take that over all that boy stuff in a heart beat!
And my girls? The eat off the floor, they pick their noses and eat it, one of them would sit in her own poop all day long if we let her, and they ALL tackle, wrestle, climb, run, and hit. And they pull hair & scratch.
Now, if we could just get all the moms on the same page about raising their kids to be nice to each other. :-)

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes 2 years ago

Just the other day I walked outside to find my two little princesses sitting in the mud singing something about happy pigs. A love of mud is not just confined to males…

Heather Gochoel 2 years ago

I have a 6 month old girl. Even before she was born people were saying how lucky I was that I'd get to dress her in all the cute, frilly girly clothes. The problem with this? I hate the pink, frilly, girly clothes. I think my mother is seriously disappointed because I won't let her get the frilly dresses.

    Meredith 2 years ago

    Right now, I get to choose the clothes, so we’ve been avoiding the mini-tween and the frilly princess! But my three year old is already starting to express preferences and I think my days are numbered!

    Debby Lewis 2 years ago

    Suck up the frilly stuff for now. I suffered with a little bit of pink myself but after a bit, you can get other colors. Or at least revel in the fact that she can always ruin them with one good whirled pea puke moment! 😉

    Rebecca MacEgan 2 years ago

    I have 5 daughters. I was resistant to pink as well. So I bought BRIGHT colors in stripes and polka dots and mix and matched everything. Also, nothing is cuter than a pink sweater with a skull in a bow! They choose their favorite color around age 2, so you will be dressing them in their fave color after that. My DD#3 loved green, and nobody was selling green girl clothes. Rit dye for white clothes became my best friend.

Sara 2 years ago

Lol. I’m a mom of two girls as well and I believe they’re messier than any boy I’ve seen. Dolls, my little ponies, stuffed animals, shoes and dresses, its a sea of pink everywhere I look!


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