A Love Letter To Diaper Wipes, My Most Treasured Possession – Scary Mommy

A Love Letter To Diaper Wipes, My Most Treasured Possession

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Diaper wipes just don’t get the admiration they deserve. That’s why we partnered with Huggies Wipes to show new parents just how valuable they are. 

For all the advice people give you before you have a child, there are so many things they don’t tell you. There was really no way for me to know I’d come to rely on you so much. You should really come in a gold-plated canister. You should be bedazzled. Parents-to-be should be given some indication of how important you are. You, the unsung hero of the world of baby products.

Diaper wipes. I can’t imagine my life without you.

In the beginning, I only used you for your intended purpose; what a fool I was. Maybe I was afraid of your power. Maybe I instinctively knew I’d come to depend on you too  much. But then one  day when my child was two months old, my mother-in-law called and said she was “on her way” to visit. No. God, no.

My house was a disaster area and I began to panic. Just as I was about to call my husband and start a fight about “boundaries” again — I glanced up and saw the words “thick enough to handle any mess.” For a moment I was ashamed that I was no longer a person who had Windex and paper towels stocked in her home with any kind of regularity, but the shame quickly passed as I glided you over my coffee table.

I no longer have to fear running into that annoying mom I hate from play group — the one with the SUV that looks like it’s just come from a professional car wash and detail at all times. We parked next to each other once and I saw the look of horror on her face when she caught a quick glimpse of my dashboard — covered in dust, specks of cheerios, and splashes of juice. Never again.

A quick scrub of my toddler’s feet and my mother has no idea I didn’t mop this week when she comes to visit. A quick glide over my own face and no one in line at Starbucks can tell I didn’t take my makeup off before I went to bed last night. All the toys in the house can sparkle in case of the last-minute play date. Is there anything you can’t do?

Why didn’t other parents ever tell me about your functionality? I can only assume it was for fear of being called a disgusting pig who needs to invest in proper anti-bacterial cleaning products. Whatever. I have two kids under five. I haven’t washed my bra in three weeks.

You keep me sane. You keep jelly off the drawers in my kitchen. You help remove stickers from my walls. Oh, you’re also great on my baby’s butt. Forgot to mention that part.

My guests may be wondering why everything I own smells like aloe, but I don’t care. Have you considered “new car smell” or maybe “lemony fresh”? Might be something to think about — not that you aren’t perfect the way you are.

Actually — never change.


 

This post was sponsored by Huggies Wipes. Give your baby’s delicate skin a soft, sensitive clean with Huggies Natural Care Wipes. Our simplest formula ever is made of 99 percent water for a gentle clean — everywhere. 

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