Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
Here are the things I wish I’d known last year, as a first time conference goer:
• Not everyone will know you. Not even close. I thought that I’d know, maybe, half of the attendees. Ha! Mommy Bloggers make up a tiny fraction of the event. There are political bloggers, green bloggers, fashion bloggers and just about every other niche you can think of. It’s a freaking zoo. Be prepared.
• Have a buddy. Make sure to have phone numbers, e-mail addresses and ways to get in touch with people. It sucks to be standing in a room of strangers who have zero interest in talking to you. Especially on the first day.
• You’re not going for the sessions. Sure, that’s what you’re paying for, but that’s not really why you’re going. Pick some that interest you and skip the rest. Don’t feel guilty for sleeping in or grabbing a drink at the bar instead. Those will be far more memorable than listening to every lecture.
• RSVP for every party. At least the ones that interest you. Most already have waiting lists, but spots do open up. If your name isn’t on the list, you’re not getting in. And that sucks. {Here are the links}
• Don’t feel left out for not getting private party invitation. There are a million private parties over the weekend and you’ll make yourself crazy if you stress over the fact that you weren’t invited. It’s not fair and it doesn’t make sense. (Much easier said than done.) Plus, even if you never attend a party at all, you will keep plenty busy. Chatting in the lobby and the expo hall alone could take a whole day.
• Bring comfy shoes. Sure, start out wearing your cutest heels, but by two in the morning you’ll end up barefoot or in flip-flops. Flip-flops are a far better option for gross city streets.
• Find the Geek Lab. Where else can you get friendly tech advice from some of the smartest women out there? Nowhere! The two hours I spent getting my broken blog fixed was well worth the price of conference admission.
• Make a point to meet the people you care about. It really is a whirlwind and you can easily be feet away from people you know and not meet them. Ask around and stalk the people you want to meet!
• Identify yourself! People probably won’t recognize your face, but they’ll know your logo or Twitter icon. Stick a business card (yes, you need those) in your conference pass so people are more likely to recognize you.
• Remember, BlogHer is like life. There will be people you’ll love and people you can’t stand. People will disappoint you and people will impress you. People are either exactly what you expect, or the total opposite. In a good and a bad way.
• Have Fun! This is probably the rare weekend where you aren’t planning meals for anyone else, dressing them or wiping asses other than your own. Enjoy it! It’ll be over too quickly and you’ll be back to the daily grind. Planning for next year’s conference.
{ 97 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice list Scary Mommy!
This will be my 3rd BlogHer and I’ve never ever ever been invited to any private parties. Waaaa…. We should have one of our own.
OHmommy recently posted..It’s all great until CPS calls my house.
What’s up with THAT?!? I’m pissed that I wasn’t invited to the Nikon one. And, we should totally have a Classy/Scary party. It’d be awesome.
Scary is the new classy.
I think you might be onto something.
OHmommy recently posted..It’s all great until CPS calls my house.
I really think we are. I love it.
Can I get in on this??
Can I go to Blogher and hang out at the parties but not go to any of the lectures? Or do I have to have a ticket in order to do that?
Mama Kat recently posted..The List
Kind of like hanging out at Frat parties but never actually enrolling in the school? Sweet idea…
I started reading this and with each sentence I read, my excitement level grew… and grew… and I got more and more excited… and then I felt guilty again, for leaving my kids. And then excited. And then guilty. I seriously need some drugs to get through this weekend. OMG I am so excited.
Thank you for writing this! You better email me your cell number now!
Also, what’s the expo hall?
And what do you MEAN there are OTHER bloggers there and not just mommy bloggers? Bloggers who are not moms EXIST? Weird.
And… and… 2 a.m.? Okay. So no sleep that weekend. I’m down with that. OMG! Yay!
I know, right?! Bloggers other than US- never!
Is there a good way to find other niche bloggers? I really want to try and find other writers that do local blogs but have no idea how to go about it.
Kate, aka guavalicious recently posted..Going Down The Rabbit Hole
Aww c’mon, everyone knows that the dad bloggers are far more interesting. Or maybe not, we don’t bring all the drama that y’all do. :)
Jack recently posted..Traveling Music
I would try to get a Birds of a Feather group for local bloggers. That was a great way to meet patient bloggers last year and I hope it will be again this year.
You forgot “Give Marinka a big, sloppy bear hug.” That’s a must.
Wendi recently posted..Summertime and the Livin’ Is
YES. That’s a must. I totally attacked her last year. And, I’ll do it again.
This post is a testament to the fact that everyone goes to BlogHer for something different.
I do attend the sessions. As many as I can. I often have intense disagreements with myself about which one to attend because there are two extremely compelling ones on at the same time.
I am there to meet people, both new people and people I already know, and that can happen at the parties or elsewhere.
The expo hall….I could skip it altogether.
Annie @ PhD in Parenting recently posted..Tell Nestlé that formula doesn’t PROTECT babies
I did that last year- I mapped out which ones I wanted to go to and stressed about deciding between them. Some were great. Some were a big waste of time. Sitting in the hallway talking to some of my favorite bloggers beat all of them.
so true! I went last thinking I would “just see” people – let me tell you – I didn’t “Find” anyone!!!
I know- it’s impossible!!!
I certainly hope at least SOME of the sessions will be worth being there. I didn’t pay $200 for some bagels and swag in the Expo Hall. ;)
Maria recently posted..A Mom is Born
I’m sure some will be. Personally, I was never much of a student. ;)
I’m definitely not into the “learn how to do stuff” sessions as much as the inspirational/experiential ones. When it’s more of a discussion/workshop, I get pretty much gleeful.
Maria recently posted..A Mom is Born
Ooh good list.
Miss Grace recently posted..Friday Photos
Annie- This will be my first BlogHer and I am most excited about the sessions. In fact I wish there was a way I could go to all of them.
Kate, aka guavalicious recently posted..Going Down The Rabbit Hole
Grateful for this!
Momalom Jen recently posted..All-purpose apology note from my 6-year-old
I’m seeking you out, Jill. You’re my hero the way you call it like it is.
I’m doing Slim in 6 before Blogger and buying new clothes — I don’t think booger covered t-shirts are good enough for NYC.
Sara — The Football Wife recently posted..Assimilation or Why My Baby’s Covered in Chapstick
Awwww, thanks! Find me. :)
And, Slim in 6, eh. So we start the week after next?
I’m crashing with some friends who have tickets. Sadly I do not. But I finally get to meet one of my favorite people in real life! How could I pass up that opportunity?! Golden ticket or not.
Hopefully peeps will have some time for a couple independent meet ups involving drinks and nosh. I do love me some drinks and nosh.
Jen recently posted..Ewok Birthday Party
What do you mean everyone won’t know me? That’s just crazy talk. And I’m not even starting out in the heels this year, last year I regretted every minute in them. Stupid laws of gravity.
Carabee recently posted..Field Trip Fridays: Travel Peeves
Thanks Jill! This will be my first and I hope to meet you!!
Jill recently posted..BEHIND THE SCENES OF THE VIEW
Okay I am getting on the names and emails and phone # thing right now! And then I am going to get on the wait list for some more parties. Jill if I do not get to meet you in July I am so excited to meet you in NYC! To be honest this sounds WAY overwhelming.
I made business cards and they are cute but now I think I need really fancy memorable ones or something.
Ugh – so much to do but I am so excited! Except I will have my baby still on the boob – Violet – so I will still be wiping asses – mine and hers. And I will probably embarass myself by kissing some super blogger ass as well. Oh well!
I want to meet people more than anything else but I would also love to hit a few sessions.
Great tips babe!
Brittany at Mommy Words recently posted..Riding the Bull at the Better-Than-A-Picnic
Not that I’ve been but I think the best thing to do with your business card is to have your picture on it. Then people can look at it later and think “oh, I remember talking to her!”
So…. you pay 200+ bucks to be able to talk in the hallway? Seems pretty frivolous to me. Must be nice.
It IS nice.
Some people spend $200 on McDonald’s a year – to each her own, Chrissy.
OHmommy recently posted..It’s all great until CPS calls my house.
i spend $200 at mcdonalds in like three days. well, i used to. now i’m going all organic and shiz. and guess what? blogher is going to cost me more like 3 million dollars. flights, hotels, tickets, shopping, and what have you. but it will be TOTALLY worth it! i get to fly on an airplane alone for the first time in 3 years! woot woot.
alexis recently posted..the olivia chronicles: letter two.
Meeting people that you ‘talk’ to daily? Enjoying yourself for 2 full days in a great city? Sounds like a fair price to me!
LZ recently posted..The Bachelorette. Not everyone can sing.
$200 bucks to spend a few days hugging friends who I only get to see once a year is a very, very small price to pay.
I spend about that a month at Starbucks, I’d bet. It’s all about what you are willing to spend your money on. Maybe it’s frivolous to you. I? Live in an area where I know absolutely no one. Not for lack of trying, just for differences and what have you. My friends? The ones I only get to see once a year? Are my best friends. My life lines. The people I’d not be able to make it without. I’d gladly pay more to see them all at once.
Issa recently posted..Therapy days suck
LOL, thanks ladies. :) And, yes, to me this is money well spent. And the only time the whole year that is all about ME.
Great tips! I’m so excited for my first blogher!
AmyBlam recently posted..Friday Flip-Offs 6/11
Great post! I cannot wait for this weekend in August. It will be my first blogher conference :)
Yeah. 20 pounds. I thought that too. Now I am shooting for, like, 2. Damn the Doritos and cheese dip oh and pizza. I just suck at the willpower thing. Meet me at the bar?
JenniferG recently posted..Moving From Manic Mommyhood To Managing Mommyhood
I’ll bring the Doritos if Jill brings the hooch!
Deal. Free drinks are my downfall.
This right here? This is me BEING JEALOUS. Can I stow away in your suitcase? I’m REAL flexible.
Sara Plays House recently posted..Visiting Grace
Go for it. I’m taking the train, so you won’t need to go through security.
SOOOO excited for my first BlogHer…and so going to maximize your ever-so-helpful tips. :) (See you there!)
Cheryl recently posted..Makes My Monday: Glimpses of God
I’m meh about sessions too, though I try to keep an open mind. Being mentored in this bloggy thing by great bloggers like um… you, sort of makes it hard for others to compete. As far as the parties and social stuff goes, hey gang we’ll be in NYC there will plenty of reasons, places and people with whom to partay. That said I’m starving myself like an activist!
On my BlogHer to do list: Start getting extremely jealous of everyone going (it seems) but me.
Jennifer recently posted..A little bit of everything
Very helpful info. If I ever go to Blogher — which is a lonnnnnnnng shot — I’ll keep these tips in mind. And, hey, this year’s conference is in NYC, right? I know if I ended up getting overwhelmed/frustrated with the conference I’d just grab my camera and hit the city. :)
Pattie recently posted..MmmBoppy
i’m so excited. mostly to fly on an airplane and not have to carry a change of clothes to prepare for the inevitable baby fluids that would be landing on my chest. but also to meet people and get to be home in my city again.
i am a little worried about the whole not being invited to parties and such and such, and being an outcast…can i get your number, jill? lol. but really.
alexis recently posted..the olivia chronicles: letter two.
I can’t wait. Absolutely can’t wait.
I love this list. I’d like to add, leave the hotel. Even just to do one thing. I mean, it’s NYC!!!!!
Issa recently posted..Therapy days suck
Yes! I stayed off-site last year and will again this year- actually walking around the city was awesome.
that’s because Chicago rocks socks!!
I hope you have the best time ever : ) in your flip flops!
Life with Kaishon recently posted..What is a wife to do?????
Okay, wait – there are private parties? Which I have clearly not been invited to? That makes me feel totally un-awesome.
Thanks for the rest of this. I’m really excited, and really nervous, and I want to make the most of my time there. I managed to get two completely awesome companies to sponsor my entire trip, and I really want to give them the most bang for their buck. If I end that weekend without making any connections or meeting any of the people I’m dying to meet, I’ll feel bad for myself and my sponsors.
Imma put on my party face and start making a To-Do list.
TheFeministBreeder recently posted..It’s Too Bad I Got an Undeserving A in that Statistics Class…
Jill – excellent list. I’m wish I’d seen it before going last year – but wait, you were new last year too! So looking forward to the following: seeing you again, the keynote bloggers speaking, pedicures, and not changing diapers!!!
christy recently posted..Two for two
Love this. And I read the first few comments – so I’m putting in my request to be on the Scary-Classy invite list. I don’t imagine that I’ll ever be invited to private parties since I’m not really all that targeted and I’m the biggest Twitter fail ever. BUT I’m already feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything I want to fit in AND spend a little time in one of my favorite cities anyway – no need to add more parties to the mix. Anyone whining about not being invited to private parties should get online and make restaurant reservations. I mean it IS New York for gods sake.
Kate Coveny Hood recently posted..No One Mentioned Having to Repeat Kindergarten…
This will be my 2nd blogher and I sure hope I get to meet you this time! :o)
neena recently posted..It’s Virtually Safe
I think having no expectations helps. A lot.
I think of it like a Trekkie convention for bloggers. I’m going to hang with my people, who not only do not mind talking about twitter and blogging, but enjoy it.
I am so excited to have a weekend in NYC, and I DEFINITELY will be leaving the hotel.
Can’t wait to see you ;)
Mwah!
Ann’s Rants recently posted..Summer Potluck: New Rules
Oh my word, I so wish I had the balls to go, but alas, I do not. I worry I would get eaten alive by all the amazingness and big personalities (I mean that in a totally good way) in one place. Maybe next year I’ll grow a pair! (My hubby is hoping I don’t, literally and figuratively.)
Kisha Floren recently posted..The only person who can pull off a speedo is Michael Phelps. And maybe Homer Simpson.
I was a newbie last year – and I had a blast! I hardly knew anyone, but people were so open and friendly – I just talked to whoever was standing next to me and made some fantastic friends. I made even more friends standing at the bar – talking to (or should that be ‘at’) anyone and everyone in a louder voice. In fact the one thing extra I’ll be packing this year is throat lozenges, as I was hoarse (from laughing like a horse) after Day 1. Can’t wait to meet everyone!
Seriously looking forward to the weekend just for your last reason. My first weekend away from my kids EV-AHR! Yay!
So excited! And nervous.
Holly {ArtistMotherTeacher} recently posted..Bret Michaels Never Grew Anything This Pretty—Except Maybe His Hair
great advice – wish i was going! have fun jill
scrappysue recently posted..photostory friday: high tea
This post is very helpful and I will now have a lot more fun at BlogHer. Thanks!
Nona recently posted..They call this Tater Salad
Great post, perhaps we will cross paths. I only have a party pass myself so I’ll be in the lobby bars and at a bunch of parties.
Hockeymandad recently posted..Sweet Tunes
We have TWO weddings that weekend or I would totally be there. Especially since it’s practically in my ‘hood being in NYC. However, I am going to bloggy bootcamp in Philly in september and i’m sure your tips will serve me well at that event too.
Uh, meet up with what bloggy friends? Dang, I feel like the pimply kid with floods on in high school. I gotta start making some blog friends.
Enya recently posted..When You’re Driven to Drink
I’m glad that I’ve had good and bad experiences at smaller conferences in preparation for BlogHer. I’m looking forward to it, and I love tips like these to get me pumped for the 3 day party!
Lolli recently posted..Outdoor Photography Tips
You forgot “Adopt a Dude”.
Backpacking Dad recently posted..Honesty and Snark in Parenting Blogs
Methinks I need to start blogging so that I can go to fun conferences and away from the diapers
Thanks for the tips! As a first time BlogHer’er I am equal parts excited and intimidated and overwhelmed. And, seriously, how is it less than two months away?!?
Sigh…it marks one year ago, we met and holding drinks at a party…….ahhh…..how time flies!
See you in a matter of WEEKS!
Love your face!
xoxo
Brittany recently posted..Cheating.
I guess I am new here but I dont understand what is the point behind “Blogher”?
Is it just more social networking? I would love to know more about it.
I’ll recognize you and act like a Scary groupie! Kidding of course, because I’ll probably be all mousy-shy if I met you. I’m like that. I too was shocked that like no one knew my blog last year. Not that I’m big-time or anything, but it would have been nice to have met one person. Sheesh.
You should definitely have a party in your room, like Scary Mommy scary bedtime story night where we swap mommy horror stories and drink wine.
I am such a newbie dork that I am SO bookmarking this page – and to tell you the truth, that is one of my biggest concerns – not seeing all the fabulous peeps I want to see. Thanks for sharing the info, especially for the newbie conference chicks like myself!
Looking forward to meeting you in person, hopefully. :)
aww! I remember meeting you at Blogher last year and talking about your broken blog– and look now you are a pro at all this web stuff. I totally need to hit up the geek lab this year.
Corine recently posted..We Didn’t Hug It Out B*tch…
I’ve never gone to BlogHer but I will be attending my first blog conference in October, Blog World Expo. I can’t wait! Have fun at Blog Her!
Cascia @ Healthy Moms recently posted..Greening the Grill for Dad!
Thank you. The list is very helpful! Now let’s all just breathe. And breathe. And maybe bringing a flask with strong alcohol may not be a bad idea either… just sayin
subWOW recently posted..Be cool like me. Wear Threadless.
Forgot to mention: YES on the “planning to lose weight but look where has the time gone” thing. *sigh* At this moment, I am thinking fasting for my husband may be the quickest way to get me to fit into whatever killer dress I end up fantasizing of wearing to BlogHer.
subWOW recently posted..Be cool like me. Wear Threadless.
ooh do I ever want to go. Not in the cards. Perhaps next year. Good list…funny how much the fear of scarcity takes a front seat in the blogging community! The pie is big enough for all of us…if more pieces get eaten, the effing pie is bigger. This is a reason I enjoy your blog. You don’t keep secrets about your success, you share and encourage others to seek their success as well.
So, let’s meet up for a drink at next year’s blogher conf. I’ll have a 1 year-old and a 3 year-old so the drink will be stiff and enjoyed…probs my first time away from both kids.
dig this chick recently posted..epic rhubarb pie
Don’t be offended if I shriek a little when I see you…you know I wasn’t going to go. But the chance to hang out with some of my bloggy bff’s like you, well that changed my mind. And the fact that my family is DRIVING ME CRAZY!
Julie @ Angry Julie Monday recently posted..A Profile Photo
Oh my god scary mommy now I know why you are called that. You made me so scared. I am now thankful to not be going and that’s just wrong.
Yikes. I will now read a different post and hope to be unscared.
Paula
paula schuck recently posted..Welcome Wednesday and Snoezelen
Oh, no- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you- it’s just what I wish I’d known. You’ll be fine!!!
I feel so left out here in little ol Australia!!! We have nothing like this! :(
Natasha recently posted..Multiples and more QOTW A day in your life
Sounds like good advice to line up people ahead to sort of hang out with. I am a shy person in a crowd of people I do not know so attending something like this alone would be quite uncomfortable for me. I’d probably just go to all the lectures.
Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry” recently posted..You May Be Surprised writer’s workshop
I started out that I couldn’t wait for the sessions. Now I’ve moved on to wanting to meet bloggers that I NEED TO MEET. I can’t wait. I am already collecting cell #s and am trying to make a list of sessions I might want to do lol I’m very excited for my first BlogHer and I love all these lists giving us the low-down. Thanks!
I saw your tweet about this post and I’m finally coming over to read…especially since I finally scored myself a coveted ticket. Wahoooo!! Great list–so helpful to this VERY green blogher attendee. Hoping to see you next month!
denise recently posted..Thank you- Mr Bellows
This is great advice. I wish I’d known half of this before I went last year.
All of that is so, so true! And I agree with your reply to Pauline… No invites to private parties??? What is UP with that????
Bitchin’ Amy recently posted..BlogHer 10- Tips from a Party Animal
If i ever make it to a Blogher event I will definitely keep your suggestions in mind – it seems much like an academic conference but with many more chilled out people and cooler swag!
I would love to read a post of yours with the reasons (or not) for going to BlogHer. I still haven’t figured out whether it would be worth the time/investment. Why do you go?
Goannatree recently posted..7 links to 7 posts- peeling back some layers
My reason for going was and is foremost to connect with the people I interact with all year. The sessions and parties are totally secondary. Oh, and to sleep ALONE! It’s the one time a year that I go away solo!
This is fantastic! Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I can’t wait!
Andrea recently posted..It’s the Little Things
Thanks for this post. I am soaking up all the advice I can find right now. I like the advice to skip the sessions I sm not really interested in. There are a few slots where nothing caught my eye, so I am going to go outside the hotel or take a nap during those times. I say nap, but I know I’ll never want to stop for a nap unless I’m nearly dead.
crystal d recently posted..Keeping Busy and Chilling Out
Great list! I think I’ll put in a link to this in one of my upcoming posts on http://www.BlogConferenceNewbie.com if you don’t mind. I like to give people a myriad of viewpoints/posts for people to visit on this topic. ;-)
Ive read some articles about BolgHer and it’s actually interesting to join. just not sure if i can. don’t know where to start.
el cid vacations
I’m reading through this post now as I think about the possiblity of BlogHer11. Um planner much? Thanks so much for the fabulous list. Only 11 more months until the next BlogHer!
ModernMom recently posted..So There Won’t Be Palm Trees
I cannot believe that I finally get to meet my Jillie in a few DAYS. Can you believe BLogHer is so near? Be prepared for a big bear hug! Also, send me your cell number now so I can put it on twitter. I mean program it in my phone.
Im jealous. Sounds like fun. Reminds me of the survival guide I wrote for Book Expo America.