How (Not) To Name Your Baby

Is it just me, or is it like a freakin’ contest nowadays of who can give their kid the most gag-worthy name? All of a sudden, everyone is “that guy” with regards to naming their offspring. You know, that guy who makes folks roll their eyes or stare blankly when they hear the baby’s “hip” or intentionally unusual furniture- or foreign city-inspired name that is spelled with seven extra consonants and a random apostrophe? Yeah. I didn’t want to be that guy. Don’t you be that guy, either.

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So please, don’t:

Create a new spelling for an otherwise normal name. Why on earth would you intentionally botch the spelling of your kid’s name? People are shitty spellers already. You don’t have to make things harder by taking a perfectly well-spelled name and adding silent letters or superfluous punctuation. Your kid will not be more unique just because you buck the rules of written English and change Mark to Marq. They will not be more mysterious or well-rounded if you spell it S’mantha and not Samantha. They will, however, spend their life correcting people and getting agitated that no-one ever spells their name right, even if the assumed spelling is reasonable (“It’s Mary. No, with four Rs. Yes, M-A-R-R-R-R-Y. God! Everyone thinks it’s just one R!”). Side note: If you change the spelling of a nickname to align it with the real name, I might be able to forgive that. Eg, Catie, instead of Katie, for Catherine.

Invent a stupid pronunciation, especially for a (relatively) normally spelled name. A friend told me of a girl she knows named Le-ah. No, it’s not pronounced “Lee ah.” It’s not pronounced “Lee.” It’s “Lee dash ah.” You read that right. “Lee dash ah.” The dash in the name is part of the pronunciation. I thought my friend was kidding, but you can’t make stuff like this up. Poor Le-ah is going to be insane by the time she’s 4.

Name your kid something that is a well-established name of the opposite sex. I’m all for squelching gender stereotypes, but I think there are better ways to do it than by confusing people with your kid’s name. I’m not talking about those borderline names that can go either way, like Terry or Kelly. I’m talking about giving your child a name that is straight up for the opposite sex. I’m talking to you, Jessica Simpson. Maxwell? For a girl? Really? Perhaps you had a great reason for giving your daughter a boy name, but because I don’t know what it is, I am just confused.

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Name your kid a nickname. My brother had a friend named JD. Named JD. It didn’t stand for anything (he’s a Southerner. No further comment necessary). The poor guy got so tired of repeating the line, “No, it isn’t short for anything. That’s just my name,” that he made up a full name for himself. He went with Jack Daniel. Like I said, he’s a Southerner.

Have a crappy reason for selecting a goofy name. If you want to name your kid Esmeralda Ireland because it was your grandma’s name and grandpa’s birth country, OK. I can get behind that. Maybe the name is weird, but you have a nice reason for choosing it. But if you’re naming your kid Esmeralda Ireland because you like witches and you hope to visit Ireland someday, you’re a tool. You’re also a tool for naming your kid after a random object, place, celebrity, or trendy fictional character (ahem, Edward Cullen).

Invent a name just to be quirky. My husband and I joked we were going to get on the portmanteau baby-name wagon by combining my grandmas’ names (Gloria + Sophia = Glophia). We high-fived each other for our hilarious originality, but really, with this trend of inventing unique names, the odds are slim that Glophia isn’t already taken. In the end, we had no reason to invent a name, so we didn’t. If you don’t have a reason to invent one, don’t.

Obviously, you can name your kid whatever you want, so really my point is this: if you’re going give your kid a goofy name, have a damn good reason. Or at least a mediocre story.

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On a related note, if you’re going to be “that guy” and give your kid an effed up name, don’t also be the guy who refuses to share the name because you’re afraid of negative commentary or feedback. As soon as someone tells me they’re not sharing baby names, I assume the name they picked sucks or will scare people—-and they know it. When you pick a name for your kid—good or bad—own it. Don’t be a puss about it. If someone begins to pooh-pooh your name, cut them off. Who cares if the biggest moron in their high school was Skippy, or the biggest douche was Biff? That’s their experience, not yours. Who cares if your coworkers think Maroon Marmalade is a terrible name as long as you love it. Most people know better than to slam your baby name anyway. Everyone is so damn sensitive nowadays. But on the bright side of the unwanted commentary, someone might actually have a helpful tidbit about your name that you should know before legally assigning it to your child. Like, “Adam Samuel Samsonite? Soooo…his initials will be ASS?” Oh hell no. Thanks for pointing that out, Friend.

Lastly, a little food for thought: When you hear of a kid with a bizarre name, I bet the first thing you think is, “Why would a parent do that to their child?” That’s the important and oft overlooked part: the parent makes the call, but the kid lives with it. Your unusual name choice and alternate spelling are burdens your child has to bear. Maybe they’ll work it like RuPaul, maybe they’ll get shoved in a locker, who knows. Just keep that in mind when you’re deciding which fruit or color to name your kid after.

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About the writer

For Samantha Cappuccino-Williams of RealMomofNJ, parenting is all heart and no BS. This real mom details parenthood in the straightforward style you've come to expect from women from New Jersey. In addition, she frequently contributes mom-related material to Seventh Generation’s 7Gen Blog.


Jennifer 1 day ago

My niece, by marriage, is Jennifer…her brother is dating a girl named Jennifer…family functions an be slightly confusing.

MS 2 days ago

Are you getting paid to write this shit?

Dawn 2 days ago

I didn’t share my kids names, not because I wasn’t going to ‘own them’ but because I think a baby should be named when they are born. My niece was born the beginning of February and since everyone knew here name around Christmas time, she had a stocking and gifts and all the trimmings – she wasn’t even born yet. I just think that is weird. There are lots of reason’s to hold off on sharing names, most of all its nobody’s business.

A. 2 days ago

Sounds like a lot of stereotypes and racism and ignorance all wrapped up into one small-minded, Gladys Kravitz-type article.

And this coming is from someone who named all three of her kids EXTREMELY traditional names.

Maybe worry a bit less about what other people name their kids and more about how you treat other people.

Naomi 2 days ago

Oh, shut the fuck up.
This is definitely one of those “not your kid, not your problem” situations.
And people complaining about “weird names”, get over yourselves. If you take your north american name to another country people will mispronounce it too.

Cristy 2 days ago

Could you be any ruder? This is ridiculous, who cares what someone else names their baby? Is your next article going to be about how offended you are by what I feed my kid? Or what kind of clothes they wear? Get a life.

Unusual 2 days ago

As an adult with a very uncommon name, I fully intend on carrying on the family tradition of non-traditional names. Naming a girl after her grandfather for a tribute, using last names as first names and spelling names differently than people expect, that’s what we do in our family. I still have daily problems with people spelling or pronouncing my name wrong but I own my name and love it. My parents weren’t pretentious, they just wanted something different than what everyone was doing almost 40 years ago.
Amusing article, but methinks there are way bigger problems than how someone names their child.
On a side note, I have a friend that was a pediatric nurse in our city that actually had a patient named La-a (Ladasha).

CSM813 2 days ago

Le-ah is not anyone’s name. That is the oldest urban legend/ casual racism of baby naming stories. Stop worrying so much about what other people name their kids.

JobyD2000 2 days ago

LaDASHa as a name is an urban legend. Pretty sure this author isn’t the one person who actually knows the person that started the legend. It’s prevalent in South Carolina and other places, with no true origin story.

Acceber1978 2 days ago

Good article, except she’s an ignorant a$$ when it comes to Southerners.

Elisa 2 days ago

Not your kid? Not your business.

Naming kids is a crapshoot. The good news is, it’s not written in stone. If someone truly hates their name, it can be changed later for a couple hundred bucks and some paperwork. Before they have a voice, it is up to the parents and the parents alone.

I have a relatively uncommon name. There is about a 50% chance people will say my name correctly. Off the top of my head, I respond to:

Uh-LEE-sa (correct)
EE-lee-sa (technically correct, but not how I like it)
Elise (super common – are you blind? That’s an ‘a’ not an ‘e’.)

Once someone even called me Elijah. Wtf? Finally, when I say my name, people usually spell it “Alisa”.

But now I just laugh it off, and sometimes don’t even correct inconsequential people. I love it because it is unusual and pretty, I am never confused with other people, and I was named after my great grandmother. There was a brief period in middle school when I wanted to go by my super common middle name because it was easier, but yuck. I got over that. Personally, I find common names to be mostly boring.

As always, YMMV.

Jody 2 days ago

No matter what you name your kids, they are sure to ask at some point ‘why didn’t you name me ?’. I gave my girls traditional names spelled the traditional way, and they would rather have more unusual names. I have what I thought was an unusual name, and I wanted a more “normal” one growing up. Now I’m good with my name because my dad, who died when I was a baby, picked it. It’s a gift he gave me that I can have with me all my life.

Susan 7 months ago

Amen to this article! Parents stop giving your kids cutesy names! Remember that they will have to live with your “creativity ” for the rest of their lives. All you’re doing is giving them a burden for the rest of their life. As a teacher, I’ve seen some real doozies. And these kids DO have to constantly explain how to pronounce and/or spell their “different” name.

A southerner 7 months ago

Just because he’s a southerner?! Really?!?! I would never name my child JD but really stereotyping everyone from the south as too ignorant to give their kid a real name is ridiculous. You should think before you write. But I guess they are right when they say ignorance is bliss!

GM 7 months ago

I agree. Some of the names parents are giving kids this days are strange. It is the kids who have to live with it.

Chelsea 7 months ago

We gave our daughter a classic name with the traditional spelling (Heidi), but because it’s Germanic rather than Latin based, she’ll still spend her life correcting people. Also, for some reason, people want to pronounce her name as HAD-DEE instead of HI-DEE. We thought we were doing her a favor by giving her a traditional name :(

Then we named our son Brice after my late brother, but because of Bryce Harper, I’m sure he’ll spend his life spelling his name out too.

Honestly, I’ve spent my entire life correcting people’s spelling of my name. So many people have messed with spellings that they’ve ruined it for everyone with traditional spellings.

Kate Shannon 7 months ago

I’ve got a daughter named River.
River Shannon.
1) We’re irish
2) She was named after a few things, the biggest thing for me being “The Humbling River” – a song by Puscifer (it’s a beautiful song.)
3) River Tam (firefly)
River Song (Dr. Who)
Both female, both badass.

River sounds nice as a child, an adult, and an old lady
(Old lady River. aww)

I love it. It may be a “place” or an “object”
but I’m hoping she loves her name as much as I do
if not, her middle name is Hazel.
She can go by that. =P

Kassandra 7 months ago

Kassandra with a “K’.
Not that terrible, but I share in the taunts of bored children chanting, ” You know you spell your name wrong?” Knowing I was named after a Russian dancer my dad had a thing for back in the day didn’t make me feel much better.
So what did I do? I named my son Leif. It was to be his father’s name, except for a quick argument the day of signing the papers and he ended up a regretful Andrew.
There’s history to it. A loose bloodline to the famous Leif Ericson, (we both adore history and Ericson was our fav individually). Also means “life” so it was perfect……
EXCEPT it was 2010 and that damn Celebrity Rehab show was popular. Every other damn person asking, “Leif?? that’s so cool! just like Leif Garrett!”…….
However do I cope? Well thank the Gods the show was cancelled, and it has given me license to filter out THOSE types whenever it does come up.

Ashli 7 months ago

He’s a Southerner? Look, I read these articles all the time and I am from Alabama. There is a difference between a Southerner and white trash rednecks- so please refrain from stereotyping. It’s rude and ruined the whole article.

Miranda 7 months ago

I have caught flack because I used my grandmother’s middle name for my daughter’s middle name…BELL. Not Belle. I have been told, you spelt that wrong. Umm…no B*&%$, that is how my grandmother spelled it. She wouldn’t be names after her if I didn’t use her spelling.

And people really need to think before speaking when it comes to baby names. Don’t be so judgemental and critical.

Tiff 7 months ago

I actually know a Ta-a… Her name is pronounced Ta dash a… Seriously I was her guidance councilor… In Juvenile Detention.

Mamaof1 7 months ago

The Le-ah thing is something of an urban legend. I always hear about “I know someone who knows someone with that name.” Never heard from anyone who directly knows someone with that name.

Anonymous 7 months ago

Actually, Samantha, we southerners give our babies beautiful, traditional names. And we are not all drunks. At least we’re not a bunch of hipsters naming our kids Apple or Sunshine…

jess 7 months ago

Well, I named my daughter Emilya, pronounced like Amelia, after my late sister in law Emily. Anyone who thinks it’s ridiculous can kiss my ass!

Kamee 7 months ago

I was given a made up name by my parents(that no one can ever spell)_and swore I’d never do that to my child… Then I named my first daughter Roan (a family name). It’s often spelled incorrectly and she’s mistaken for a boy, but I hope that the deep meaning of her name helps her to like it a little more.

Rue 8 months ago

Also, don’t EVER use your surname to create a pun. If your last name is Showers, don’t name your daughter Misty or Summer(I’ve met both). Luv Lee is NOT a good name unless you plan on having your kid to grow up to be a porn star. If you want daughter to some day stick you in an old folk’s home and move out of state, name her Candace Kane. Really.

Mark C 8 months ago

Oh, and airka, Duke is NOT an Ivy League school. The Ivy League is Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Dartmouth, Brown, Columbia, Cornell, and University of Pennsylvania.

Mark 8 months ago

You forgot to mention that giving your child an unusual name can actually be harmful. A Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand study from 2012 found that the less common and harder to pronounce your name is, the less trustworthy people will perceive you as. That can affect a child’s ability to get a job, a promotion, and even make things worse for a person if they ever have to put their fate in the hands of 12 jurors in a lawsuit or criminal trial. The bottom line is too many people use the decision of naming their child as a vanity exercise, the opportunity to show how creative they can be, rather than giving their child a name that will be useful and won’t get in their way or become a source of ridicule. In addition to the annoying name categories here that you tick off, I would add giving a child a first name that is actually a last name. It may be cute when they are four, but teens and adults with first names like “Brooks”, “McKenzie”, etc are all assumed to be pretentious and self-important, because they more often than not are, and it makes sense that they would be, since they were raised by the kinds of parents who used their names as an opportunity to show off.

Oh, and I’m a Southerner, and I was not insulted at all by your comments about southerners, some of them really do stupid things, especially when it comes to names, and giving your child meaningless initials for a name is ridiculous.

airka 8 months ago

The fact that you insulted an entire region of the country by insinuating that Southerners are slow for creating the name JD and iterating that “no further comment necessary” is about as ignorant as one could get. You’re a judgmental, discriminatory, ignorant, close-minded individual… and probably racist, with those credentials… you’re obviously not cultured or well-traveled. Did you know they offer terminal degrees at universities in the South? Did you know Duke is any ivy league school? Go ahead and name your kid Eunice or Dorothy, if you want. Some of us like progressiveness and creativity. I applaud your ability to publicly embarrass yourself.

Mommy2TritondueNov7th 8 months ago

Me and my bf love unique uncommon names and we plan on naming our son who’s due in November Triton and we don’t care if others think because it’s a name that we both love. If triton would’ve been a girl, he’d be Nala Snowdrop :)

Domenica 12 months ago

There are some really nice ways to do “portmanteau” names–my sisters are Marykathryn and Lucymarie. Nobody else can spell them properly, but they’re pretty and have family significance.

My daughter’s name comes partly from Celtic mythology: Morrigan Amaryllis. Yes, she and I will spend the rest of our lives saying “Mor-RI-gan, not Morgan,” but again, it has significance to us. And it’s not like it’s totally off the wall; you just have to actually read it to get it right. (Like my music teacher always told me: read what’s there, not what you think is there!)

I also wanted to give her a name that would fit her at all stages of life. “Morrigan” can be cute for a child, professional-sounding for an adult, and dignified for an old lady. It always makes me cringe to see cutesie names like “Cookie” or “Princess” that I can’t picture at the top of a resume without copious amounts of pink glitter.

Janna 12 months ago

Glophia is how I ended up as Janna. My Aunt Janice + my Grandma Anna Rose (which she changed to Rozane as an adult) becomes Janna.

My kids have family names with meaning. My twins Eleanor “Nora” Cecelia and Edward “Teddy” Michael and my singleton Henry “Tank” Adam. I get asked all of the time how I get Teddy from Edward and why I gave my kids such “boring” names. One person said my kids sound like they are residents at an old folks home.

Molli 12 months ago

While I find this post a humorous take on the blatent attack on the sanctity of the English language. I’m afraid I take umbridge to the ridiculous propaganda that all southerners are moronic simply due to the fact that they are southern. Its like the idea that everyone from New Jersey wears to much make-up and runs about partying. Respectable or reckless one is not defined by the birth state or even their parents poor choice of grammer.

Blake 1 year ago

Me and my wife named our son Illidan. Because we are both big Warcraft fans and wanted to give our baby a unique and strong sounding name.
Illidan Black has a very nice ring to it.

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Amanda 1 year ago

I want to combine my name with my sisters for my first daughter: Amarin. But I worry that she’ll forever have to repeat her name and constantly have to spell it out. That should be my clues not to name her that.

Heather 1 year ago

I don’t share the names before the baby is born, even though we like very classic names that are generally acceptable to people. the issue is that my MIL will be critical no matter what, and my mother is a teacher so she usually has at least one kid to associate with each name. It’s also impossible for them not to treat everything we tell them as though it’s a brainstorming session, after which they’ll vote on the best solution that we’re supposed to implement. I’m not telling some stranger in a grocery store line-up before I tell my own mom, and I am not telling our moms until they actually meet the baby.

Allison 1 year ago

Wow I wish everyone choosing names could read this. Seriously it should be given out with pregnancy tests. Have a friend who named her daughter Olivia, spelled it Alyvia. Why? WHY??? People, you should not name your children trendy names, because its a trend…which will fade as all trends do, but you know what won’t fade? Your children. They’ll be 80 and still explaining their name. Kinda like that tribal art tatoo they got on spring break…

Christina 1 year ago

My daughters first and ,middle name is Ameriel Dawn. Ameriel is angelic means guiding star. My husband and i have both agreed on angelic names for our children and if i have any in future they will have such name.

joanna 1 year ago

We are very against made up or incorrectly spelled names, we went with Esther Lee (Lee being a family name for women in his family and my family). It’s spelled wrong all the time by family members.

We also didn’t share the name until we knew whether we were having a boy or a girl, and did not ask for any input when we were choosing. My in laws looked at us funny when we shared the name, but they earned up to it pretty quickly. As a nickname we call her “Ettie” or “ettie-lee”. But most of the time she is Esther.

Nicole 1 year ago

As a labor and delivery nurse, I have heard some of the absolute WORST names under the sun! My two favorites are “Jello Sugar-free” and “Ay-jzah” (pronounced “Asia”). I also love it when parents tell me their little bundle of joy will have a “high comma” or a “comma up in the air” a.k.a apostrophe. Please people, if you don’t know what it’s called, don’t put it in your child’s name!!

    Allison 1 year ago

    Upper comma is another name for an apostrophe I’ve heard.

Nanette 1 year ago

i am 50 something yrs old and have to spell my name for pp all the time, my entire life. I always say one “n two t’s, n.a.n.e.t.t.e.” So if you are going to use a different name make sure you at least use a traditional spelling. Can you imagine going through life spelling something like “Nahnet” or “Nan-et” at that point it’s no unique or cool just fricking annoying everyone.

RuthE 1 year ago

Please , god, let everyone quit changing every vowel to a “y”

I know a family (relatives). The children are Kamryn, Rylie and Ethyn. (In think I’ve spelled them ‘correctly’ but I could be wrong.. One of these children is a boy. Can you guess which one?

Josie 1 year ago

My parents named me after the Clint Eastwood movie The Outlaw Josey Wales by the time i was 5 i was sick of hearing their friends say the line from the movie “u gonna pull them pistols or wistle dixsy” and “look out here comes the outlaw its Josey”

Rachel 1 year ago

I went to school with a child named Mister William Cosby. No lie. His parents said they did it so he was always addressed respectfully.

I also went to school with Holly Callie Wood.

And my mother once worked with a rather large woman named Rotunda. I’m rather sure she stopped speaking to her parents at a young age.

meg 1 year ago

My youngest daughter’s name is Samantha, and no joke, I’ve been asked several times why I didn’t go with S’mantha… I just say bc she’s not a campfire treat and I love her, so i don’t want to make her life harder by having a stupid name.

Jill 1 year ago

I was chuckling right along until you started dissing on Southerners. Cheap, unrelated shot.

Lorrie 1 year ago

I taught in a school where too many kids had stupidly spelled and difficult to pronounce names. But the worst was a girl named Tequila. Sure, you can pronounce it, but come on.

Kelsie 1 year ago

Ugh. I agree. I hate my name. It’s gender neutral supposedly but yeah. I hate it.
We actually did the smash up name but stumbled by accident upon it.

We were making name lists for our daughter. We had three boys so we were completely dumb founded when it came to naming a girl. Atop of the list I had JOSH | KELSIE then our choices below. Looking at our names JOSIE popped in my head. JOSh kelsIE from me.
People asked why I didn’t spell it Jossie because then it would be equal letters from each name.
Why, because I’m not an asshole that’s why.
I love the name Josie.
Loveee it!

Then our last child was again a girl.

We named her Kyleigh
I added the Leigh instead of lee because I thought Kylee looked too much like Kyle, and again I’m not a douche. So I made it more girly.

Again, rock the name you pick for your child. If you’re ashamed to announce it, there’s a good chance your child will be ashamed to own it.

Diana 1 year ago

I feel the pain. My oldest name is….Roslynn jade.first name.sounded out as Rozlynn … why does everyone call her rozalynn ..when they say her name they add the letter A in it…I do.not see any A’s in her name. I named her after my grandmorther n my self her name is rose and my middle name is lynn…however my youngest name is shyla moon…first name sounded exactly how its spelled shy~la …. and I never have issue on anyone saying shylas name lol

Jessika 1 year ago

My mother spelled my name with a K instead of using the traditional Jessica spelling. This being said, I knew how rough it was correcting people all the time, I still named my daughter Ellsie with two L’s. *sigh* But we did that because Elsie and Elise are so similar, we added the extra L to reduce confusion. I like it better with two L’s. 😛

laura 1 year ago

We named our son Corbin. Nice normal, but not overly used name. However, i work with a girl who named her daughter ocean. ….ugh

Hayley 1 year ago

People always spell my name wrong. ..i joked that i was going to change the spelling to Haigh-leighy since no one spelled it right anyway

Janet Davis 1 year ago

Strangest names I ever heard: Raney Dae (born on a rainy day) and Deja Vu (Mom with 4 grown children who got a surprise at 52!)

We gave two of our children what we thought were “normal” names — Philip & Anne — but they have spent their whole lives telling people “Philip with one ‘l'” & “Anne with and ‘e.'”

Karen 1 year ago

Okay. So you decided to hyphenate your ridiculously long last name. And what kind of name is Cappuccino anyways? I never know what to call people with hyphenated last names. Do I say the whole thing or just the last last name? How pretentious of you. Why couldn’t you just be normal?

Offended? You should be. It’s a personal decision. We are offended too.

Tiffany 1 year ago

I named my daughter Leeja. Pronounced Leah. My husband is croatian and the letter “J” is pronounced as a “Y” in croatian. There is a J in his last name and my family would pronounce Lea as Lee and Leah as Laya. So i was going to spell her name Leeya just so no one ever Ever mispronounced her name… but then my husband says they will FOREVER mispronounce the last name. I felt it was an uphill battle and just went with Leeja. What’s funny is people always take a second, say it wrong, correct themselves, say it right and then totally pronounce the last name wrong!!!! Lol you will never get it right! I hate myself for naming her that, I didn’t want to be one of those. LEEJA HAJAK has a nice ring to it though don’t you think. It spells beautifully in cursive!

    Tiffany 1 year ago

    Yes everyone does call her Leedga lol
    It has also become a funny little pet name for her too cause its a bit of a joke!

Julie 1 year ago

Amen! My handy rule of thumb: Don’t give your kid a name that is not available on a souvenir license plate at Disneyland!

    Tiffany 1 year ago

    I NEVER find Tiffany. .. and it’s a common name

Ana 1 year ago

Before it became a stay-at-home mom I worked for a library in urban area. One young lady, about 12 years old, would visit all the time. She was so sweet and very embarrassed about her name. It was Mari Juana. Now that’s just cruel.

Julie 1 year ago

My favorite example I have encountered of this is Ph’antayzia. Say it out loud and you’ll get it. That poor child.

Just Amanda 1 year ago

True story, my uncle was making rounds in the hospital during his intern days and a lady named her baby Psalmiv, pronounced “pa-sum-ivy” when the nurses asked where it came from b/c it was so unique she said it came from the Bible (Psalm IV)

karen 1 year ago

Coming from someone who grew up with an old ladies name, I was tremendously jealous of kids with better names. And while I often cringe at ANY name the parents pick I completely disagree with this post.

Should you really base a kids name on if it will get spelled correctly in school? I’m being serious. Other people just aren’t a factor at all when deciding a kids name (imho). Just the same, I don’t care what other people think of my parenting style, etc etc.

I know, I’m one of them. And from me to you, we just don’t care what you think.

Alicia 1 year ago

Yep, spend a day as a substitute teacher watching kids squirm and sigh when you read their name off the class list or looking for Daniel only to find out he’s actually a girl. Why would you want to make school, especially adolescence, more difficult for your kids? Think of the children.

Suzanne 1 year ago

My son’s name is Archer and most women think it’s cute. But all the men that hear the name think of that darn TV Show! Everyone wants to call him Archie too. The name is already short and you have to give him a nickname?

Julia 1 year ago

I knew a young man whose first name was J, just the letter, nothing else.

Kp 1 year ago

Working at a pediatric office I see this all the time! It’s really the gender switch names that bother me though because when your daughter has short hair and is wearing a baseball hat, jeans and a tee and I call her a he because her name is Ryan I feel bad and she feels bad! And these are the parents who get huffy!!!! Also if you don’t want your husband/partners last name fine but combining the two to give your kids both is ridiculous. No kindergartener should have to learn ti spell a name with 23 letters!! Not made up we have one of these!!!

    Domenica 12 months ago

    LOL. My daughter’s name is Morrigan Amaryllis, and our last name brings it to precisely 23 letters. :) Fortunately, we’ve been calling her Molly for short!

Bianca van der Steen 1 year ago

We wanted unusual names for our kids because we didn’t want our kid to be the 5th kid with that name in class but we also didn’t want celebrity-weird (Apple, Brooklyn, North West that sort of thing). Our oldest daughter is called Arwen and our youngest daughter is called Elora. People get both names wrong all the time. Arwen is usually changed into Arwin which is a boy’s name. I genuinely thought that Arwen would be a little bit more known especially after the LOTR movies. Elora is usually changed to Eleonore or something similar. My daughter keeps correcting people “No it’s E-LO-RA”

Lara Zylstra 1 year ago

My name is sooo easy (I thought) but I can’t tell you how many times I get called Laura or Lori or even Lauren! Those letters are not even in my name! I’m not going to say it was a nightmare growing up because I liked the fact that 5 people didn’t turn their heads when someone said my name (way too many Jennifer’s in my classes). I named my son Matthew but my daughter Emmelia. I liked Amelia, but didn’t like the nickname Amy….but I liked the nickname Emmie or Emma, so I just stuck an E in the front instead. Also turns out that Emmelia was an orthodox saint (I’m orthodox) so it worked out well and I love the name.

Evan Treece 1 year ago

LOVE this article. The “it doesn’t matter what other people think of your kids name – All that matters is YOU love it” is the most ignorant and immature response to naming a child I’ve ever seen. YOU don’t have to live with your kids name, your kid does. YOU won’t be correcting people your whole life, your child will be.

Parents are so selfish. You don’t like traditional names? Fine. But there’s a lot to choose from in between Jane (great name btw) and Maddysynn

Andrea Sene 1 year ago

My cousin ‘s Shawana and she complains that she has trouble getting jobs because people see her name on paper and assume she’s “ghetto “, her words, not mine

Julie DeFrancesco Fletcher 1 year ago

I’ve gone just about blind reading the younique name spellings, made up names, and ‘I named my girl a boy name but added a bunch of e’s or y’s’ in these comments. And how no one cares what anyone else thinks about it. Good thing, that!

Mary N Bryan Hamblin 1 year ago

Amen! !

Mary N Bryan Hamblin 1 year ago

Haha poor kid

Gone-Dee 1 year ago

I stopped reading at “he was a Southerner- say no more”. I’m a Southerner. From Alabama no less. Contrary to stereotypes believable to only those wishing to be prejudiced in the first place, I am sure the author understands there are higher calibre people in the South than are generally portrayed in pop culture (also that pop culture should never be consulted when evaluating an entire group of people fairly. C’mon. Only Sheeple do that). We are none of us all Paula Deen, yawl, nor do I take the craziest representative of NJ and liken the entire state population to said crazy (although I do love me some crazy!) Just food for thought. And no it wasn’t fried chicken..I’m vegetarian.

    Gone-Dee 1 year ago

    (..Or maybe it was a joke I’m unable to get after dealing with Southern stigma for too long….)

Tanya Ford 1 year ago

Mommy to a Alexis, Malorie, Kylie, Allison and Jackson. Pretty Normal. Besides having five kids gets you funny looks before the names get asked anyway; -)

Lau Steers 1 year ago

As a person who grew up with the burden of an unusual name, I swore to myself I would never put my child through the same, no matter what. I went with Christopher.

Kayla Smith 1 year ago

“Name your kid something that is a well-established name of the opposite sex.”

Ashton Kutcher naming his daughter Wyatt… My son’s name is Wyatt, that’s a pretty masculine name.

Katie Ide 1 year ago

I love the name Lucy!


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