Wondering if you’re ready for kids? Watch this video
Whether or not you’re ready for kids is a pretty epic decision. Many a friend has come to me looking for guidance in the matter, and I usually just sleepily shrug my shoulders and say, “I don’t know what to tell you. It’s a very personal decision.”
What I really want to say is, “Can you listen to the theme from Peppa Pig, on a loop, all day without tearing your hair out? Can you exist on next to no sleep for months on end? Do you enjoy literal shit?” But now, I don’t have to shrug my shoulders and act like I have nothing to say. I can just send them this viral video and scream, You can’t handle the truth!
Jarret Kramer was taking his infant to swim lessons when he smelled a “bad poo.” Thinking they could just change the baby when they got there, they kept driving.
This is what awaited them when they arrived.
Oh my god. Oh. My. God.
This kid hasn’t just had the most epic blowout, ever — she’s also reached her little adorable fingers into her diaper, and pulled out a handful of it — possibly eating some of it. The best part? When mom says, “Can we go to their house where they have wipes?” WIPES? WIPES? Does she actually think anything short of a firehouse will clean up this disaster?
The video also does an incredible job of summing up mom/dad relations, when mom says, “Listen, you’re going to sit back here dude” — and dad goes, “I’m not sitting back here, YOU are.”
So, quiz time! When you saw the video did you…
a) Throw up in your mouth a little, cry, and turn it off.
b) Immediately start gagging and screaming, NO, NO, NO! There is nothing good in the world!
c) Simply say, “I can’t watch this,” and leave the house.
d) Start laughing and immediately tell the story of that time your kid threw up in your mouth.
If you answered a-c, you’ve never experienced having to clean shit off another human, but that doesn’t mean you’re not ready for a child. You might want to get your gag reflex in check though. If you answered d, congratulations! You have children, and a diminished sense of what’s appropriate conversation for mixed company.