Life Lessons Learned From Beverly Hills, 90210


I have been highlighting my hair since I was in seventh grade. I really couldn’t even tell you what my real hair color should be. Here is my best guess: If you head out to your local drug store and walk down the aisle with boxes of hair color, take a look at “Blahhh” or “Meh” that would be the best description of my natural color.

Since I have been cursed with such lackluster hair, I have been forced to shell out big money every few months to make sure I remain a bouncy blonde and not some crazy lady pretending that her six inches of dark roots is her attempt at ombre.

A young gal was highlighting my hair this week and she was over sharing stories of her “bad boy” and “womanizing” boyfriend. I patiently listened to her story, nodded periodically, and even gave the shocked “No!” every so often. When she finished the sordid details of her love life, I decided to pass down some sage wisdom from a slightly older, wiser, been-there-done-that-lady. Here is what I told her:

“Honey, you date the Dylan, but you marry the Brandon.”

I knew I was in trouble when she got this dumfounded look that screamed “What the hell are you talking about?” Then I got the “Who?”

Dylan McKay and Brandon Walsh? 90210? The real 90210. Only one of the greatest shows ever! Really? 

First, I felt old. Then, I felt sad for the wayward young girl that didn’t have 90210 during her formative years to guide her along her journey to maturity.  Then, I got to thinking about my own Monkey and Mimi and all of the conversations I will have with them in the future and I shudder at the thought. What if I just lock the kids in a room and force them to watch all ten seasons of my favorite show? When they are done, they can come out and we can discuss what they have learned. I am confident all of those difficult conversations will be addressed in each hour of 90210, and I will simply just need to reiterate some of the most important…

Beverly Hills 90210, Life Lessons

1. Don’t get drunk at prom and pass out in front of the principal. While I am sure you are charming, no one is going to stage a walkout and chant “Mimi graduates, Mimi graduates.”

Beverly Hills 90210, Life Lessons, Donna Martin

2. Don’t wear the same dress to the spring formal as your best friend, don’t date the edgy new girl who takes drugs, don’t dress slutty at Halloween parties, don’t date the broken hottie that has mommy issues, and don’t lose your virginity at the spring formal you wore the same dress as your friend — for reasons other than you are wearing the same dress as your BFF. Didn’t you learn anything from Brenda’s pregnancy scare?

Kelly, Brenda, 90210, Same dress

3. Just because your friends have bigger houses, amazing clothes, a bitchin car, tons of money, and the super, cool, fun mom that is sometimes in and out of rehab, the grass is not always greener and your friends probably wish they had a snarky, sarcastic Mom like yours that can make a mean pepperoni roll. Boom!

Beverly Hills 90210, Life Lessons

4. Drugs are bad. So are diet pills, cults, gambling,  plagiarizing your college papers,  cheating on your girlfriend with her BFF, cheating on your boyfriend with his BFF, cheating on your girlfriend with a lame music executive —OK, let’s just generalize that with cheating — it’s bad – all bad.

Beverly Hills 90210, Life Lessons

6. Violence against a woman is never OK, and if some guy pushes you down the stairs, he does not love you. While I do not condone violence, I would kick a guy’s ass if he ever laid a finger on my Mimi.

7. When faced with two options and neither feels right, always choose yourself. While she made lots of bad choices during the course of the show, Kelly got this one right—“I choose me!”

Kelly, beverly hills 90210

So there you go. Six very important lessons that cover all things I need my children to know as they grow up to be functioning members of society.

Man, this child rearing is easy!



The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. Debbie says

    Hi Amanda,

    You are right on with 90210. My girls always watched this show. I watched it with them at times and yes, there is a lot to learn from it. It taught them also what is inside is what is important and not the looks on the outside.
    Thanks for bring back this memory.

    Show Replies
  2. Jenny says

    Now, THAT’s what I call an original post! I used to watch 90210 from the comfort of my rock-hard, thin-mattressed dorm bed in college, and I loved it so much. I didn’t have a reason to search out the box set until I read your post. Now I NEED it and can maybe even write it off on my taxes — business expense for a stay-at-home mom?

    Show Replies
  3. Grace @ Sandier Pastures says

    I watched this show (now why I suddenly felt old after typing THAT) although my dad has to be present all the time. He freaks out during the kissing scenes and ask me to close my eyes. Kill joy.

    Show Replies
  4. Andrea says

    Yes, 90210 what a big impressionable part of my high school years. I’ll never forget Kelly confessing, “and he didn’t even use a….blanket”. My name is pronounced ‘On-dree-ah’ like the journalism, smartie nerd from the show, who ran off with Jessie into the sunset and had a kid. The episode where snarky sleepover friend says, “Andrea…what.. is that British or something?” still makes me laugh with irritation.

    Show Replies

Load More Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>