Alternatively titled: You are a much better parent than you think.
1. The Balloon Boy’s Parents: Not only did Richard and Mayumi Heene think they could get away with claiming their son flew away in a home-made balloon, but they also named him Falcon. The irony is tragic.
2. Jon Gosselin: He has been called many things, but few more accurate than bad parent, Hollywood Gossip writes, “there are many, many reasons one could cite for this. Picking out a particularly obvious one, The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission is pointing a finger at the dad of eight for having his little ones on his ATV.” Also topping my list, exposing his 8 children to his infidelity and to Kate’s haircut.
3. Michael Lohan: It’s one thing to blog about your children’s potty training gone bad, nose picking and bad eating habits, but it’s an entirely different thing to release secretly recorded phone calls about your daughter’s cutting, secret love affairs and stints in rehab. {They are entirely different, right??}
4. Octomom: Eight babies plus six children minus financial independence equals one hot mess. Minus the hot.
5. Ryan O’Neal: There’s nothing like hitting on your own daughter to ruin a good funeral. “I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blond woman comes up and embraces me,” O’Neal told Vanity Fair in an August interview. “I said to her, ‘You have a drink on you? You have a car?’ She said, ‘Daddy, it’s me — Tatum!’ I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it’s my daughter. It’s so sick.” Why, yes. Yes, it is.
6. John Phillips: Makes Ryan O’Neal look like Father of the Year.
7. Joe Jackson: Not only did he sue his dead son’s estate for an allowance, but he also fathered the freakiest attention whoring family in show business.
8. Heidi Klum: Maybe not a parenting failure for her, but for all of us. Because, really, it’s just not cool to look like she did weeks after having a fourth child.
Have any failures to add?
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Fathers hitting on their daughters or worse doing stuff? Grossest.People.Ever. They should be thrown in a deep deep hole.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Craving: studded boots =-.
OH, I was wondering why Heidi was on there! Everyone else seemed to be a “duh” but her! She is a “FAIL” in that department, isn’t she?
.-= Sara @ domestically Challenged´s last blog ..Again, will I ever learn? =-.
Ha! I love it.
I agree with almost every example on this celebrity or wannabee-celebrity list except for Heidi Klum. She is not human, so that might disqualify her.
And I’d like to add a few of the *Real* Housewives, too.
.-= Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog´s last blog ..Foodie Friday: No-Fail Brussels Sprouts =-.
Hahaha! This is great. And I TOTALLY agree about Heidi Klum. What a bitch! Who does she think she is lookin’ all hot and sexy and better than me even though I have zero children. She sucks.
.-= Notesfromthegrove´s last blog ..What I would tell my unborn child… =-.
HA! Very funny. :)
I’d throw Sarah Palin up there.
It totally cheezed me off that Sarah Palin and Kate Gosslein were nominated to Baba Walters top 10 fascinating people for 2009.
Palin’s a big nasty mess and Kate deserves NOTHING just because of the hair.
.-= ggs_closet´s last blog ..Stimulation Friday =-.
Ha! I love it. And it does make me feel better. Except any pic of Heidi Klum makes me feel worse and want to cry. Do you think her husband sings to her too? Probably. She has all the luck huh?
Those housewives chicks should defintely be added. THEY are some scary mommies!
Great post!
Well, I was feeling good about myself until that last one. Thanks a lot!
.-= Frugal Vicki´s last blog ..Holiday Gift Guide-Carolina Pad Stationary Review & GIVEAWAY! =-.
Oh I am with the pack of mom skanks too – it is a little creepy!
.-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..Folks, My Belly Ain’t Half Full =-.
I’d like to add the lunch monitor at my daughter’s first elementary school who sent her son to school with last night’s cold McDonalds Happy Meal and a can of coke several days a week and myself for secretly (and unsuccessfully) trying to dissuade my daughter for making friends with him.
.-= Jennifer June´s last blog ..Open your whore mouth? =-.
I was thinking the other day that I bet Kate Gosselin also hates that hair at this point but her PR people tell her to keep it since it makes people continue to talk about her and thus her ‘fame’ continues. I woulda had to shave my head by now or something…
Good list. I mean ‘bad’ list….
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..PSF – My Plan, Thwarted =-.
yeah – i really AM a great parent!!! and so are you too jill! fun post
.-= scrappysue´s last blog ..the silly season =-.
heidi klum…it’s just not fair. so, to add to the mistakes in my life…i was born in the wrong climate, to parents that ARE NOT royalty and stuck in a short, squat body.
life. not fair.
.-= melissa´s last blog ..Why I Believe The Stork Really Messed Up =-.
I really enjoyed your entry into 2009 in Review. Your list actually made me smile and laugh a bit. I wrote 2009 in Review: 9 Things I learned while planning my wedding. http://fayedodgeszombies.com/2009/12/09/2009-in-review-9-things-i-learned-while-planning-my-wedding/
Have a good night!
Joe Jackson has been recently quoted as saying “my son is worth more in death than he was alive”. I would put that in the better be left unsaid category especially when it comes from the mouth of a parent. Thanks Captain Obvioso. We will also never forget him discussing his new record label in his first interview a day or two after Michael’s passing. Gotta live Joe Jack!
I loved this post, Jill. You found some real doozies! I had to laugh at Heidi – what nerve, eh? And on top of that, she’s smart with huge business empire and a hubby with one of the sexiest singing voices alive. What an absolute bitch :)!
.-= Karen MEG´s last blog ..A Year in the Life of … =-.
Agree with all of your choices, except…Heidi. I’m going to get slammed for this one, but that woman works at it! She eats well and exercises which is actually something I admire as opposed to someone who just gets plastic surgery. I honestly find her to be a bit of an inspiration. (I’m ducking!)
And YES to the Housewives of OC.
I’d also add the Moms in the head-to-toe Juicy Couture at the park completely ignoring their kids while texting, talking on their iPhones or chatting with their friends. ARGH!
Wow, you do not like being a Mom or just horrible at it. Get a life, lady. Stop complaining about stuff that is trivial and talk about how wonderful it is when you first feel your child truly hug you back, or when your child first tells you they love you. There is a special place in hell for mothers who act like you.
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