Birth photographer drops client when she learns she’s getting a c-section
Steel yourself. The “Sanctimommy” Facebook group got a hold of a text conversation that is going to make your head spin. In it, a birth photographer refuses to take on a client who will be having a c-section. Why? She insists it’s “not childbirth.”
This appears to be the tail end of a convo in which a birth photographer has dumped her client because she has to have a c-section. She must have accused her of “opting” for a c-section, since her client insists, “I didn’t opt for anything.” She continues, “I had no idea birth photographers discriminated [against] people for how they birth their babies.” Neither did we.
The birth photographer’s response is peak sanctimonious asshole. Seriously. If “sanctimonious asshole” had its own dictionary entry, there would be a picture of her response next to it. (We’re assuming it’s a woman since she’s claiming to know how tough motherhood is, but there is no confirmation on that so this could also be the worst case of mansplaining to ever hit the interwebs.)
“A surgery isn’t birth my dear,” she explains. “You aren’t giving birth. You are having surgery to remove your baby from your abdomen. That is not birth no matter how you swing it and I for one don’t want to be there to take pictures of it.”
What. The. Hell. Say you are uncomfortable with surgery. Say you can’t take the sight of blood (which would be odd for a birth photographer.) There are so many ways this person could have gotten out of this without shaming a woman who is about to give birth. There’s more.
“If you decide to give motherhood a go from the get and have an actual birth let me know and we can schedule your session,” she offers. “This motherhood job is hard, if I were you I would think twice about starting such a job by cutting corners so early in the game.” First of all, NO THANKS. Second, what kind of idiot thinks a c-section is cutting corners? Probably one who’s never had to have one.
So, cutting corners is taking a giant needle in the spine? Cutting corners is hanging out behind a curtain conscious, while you’re being sliced into and your insides are being shifted around? Cutting corners is having to recover from this all with merely ibuprofen because your baby is breastfeeding and they won’t give you anything stronger? Cutting corners is wincing in pain as you attempt to take a few steps so they’ll let you leave the hospital? Cutting corners is rolling out of bed repeatedly to tend to your newborn because your ab muscles have yet to re-attach and you can’t use them to lift yourself?
Many of us plan to go the non-surgical route when it comes to childbirth, but it just isn’t in the cards. And that’s okay. Because although certain sects of modern motherhood put a lot of pressure on women to birth “naturally” (god, I hate that term), some of us need modern medical intervention.
And we’re badasses for getting through it.
If only we had a name for this person so we could save future women from being a victim of her cruel words and judgement at a time when they could really use some love and support.
BRB. Off to tend to the kids I didn’t birth.