Science Says No Clubbing After 37, Moms Say 'Whatever, I'm Too Tired Anyway'

Study Says 30’s Is ’Too Old’ To Club, Moms Say ‘Whatever, I’m Too Tired Anyway’

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We’ll just be over here in our sweats, thank you very much

Everyone remembers the good old days of clubbing. When friends got ready together and left the house at 11 p.m. to stand in line for hours at the latest hot spot. Then, once inside, jockeyed for a place at the bar where we overpaid for some concoction called a “Slippery Nipple” and then danced the night away, sweat rolling down every crevice of our bodies. Ah, the good old days.

If the thought of doing that again sounds as horrendous to you as it does to us, it may be because we don’t belong in clubs at our age, according to a British appliance chain. Currys PC World conducted a study of sorts called “The Great Indoors,” where they quizzed 5,000 people about their social lives and according to them, 31 is when the average adult “officially hangs up their dancing shoes and prefers to stay in.”

The study also claimed that age 37 is too old to go out clubbing — and worse still, that “a harsh 37 percent of respondents said there is nothing more tragic than seeing adults in their 40s and 50s surrounded by twenty-somethings in pubs and bars.”

Ouch, that is a little harsh. What, is it the crow’s feet glistening in the strobe lights? Honestly at our age, we don’t care what anyone thinks.

According to the study, the desire to not be hungover the next day is the driving force behind staying in. And this makes sense to us “ancient” guys and gals, because, you know, we have jobs and kids and mortgages and shit. We don’t have the luxury of sleeping in until noon and nursing our hangovers with Gatorade and Taco Bell.

“The Great Indoors study recognizes the fact that there comes a time when we appreciate our home comforts more than a hectic social life and it can often be a drag to play the social butterfly at parties and nights out,” said Matt Walburn, Brand and Communications Director of Currys, via NME.

Look, we like a good adults-only night out as much as the next guy. Unfortunately, most clubs don’t play our 80’s Pandora station and the DJ doesn’t particularly enjoy it when we tell them to please, PLEASE turn the music down a notch. It’s also depressing to be out in a room of twenty-somethings and realize some of us are behind on the latest fashion trends. Not that we can’t rock a pair of yoga pants and an old team building T-shirt from two jobs ago, but it does tend to blend in better on our couch versus a nightclub.

In a press release, Currys PC World found “Almost half (46 percent) of adults now dread social events or nights out, preferring to “lounge” in the comfort of their own home, with 30 percent of Brits admitting that a perfect night in would be one spent in front of the TV, devouring a boxset.”

Really, there is nothing better than a quiet night in with a nice bottle of red and some Netflix. If that makes us old and less cool than our club-loving friends, so be it.

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