Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
There are so many things I wish someone had warned me about before I had children. The fact that my flabby pre-baby stomach would look enviable compared to the mess of stretch marks overtaking it after kids. That I would think nothing of having an OB bring his entire team of interns in to observe my internal exam. That I would never, ever again pee in peace.
But, really there is one that trumps everything else. Why didn’t my mom clue me in? My older cousins? My friends with kids? Did they all think that just because they suffered, I deserved to as well? What kind of conspiracy is this motherhood thing, anyway?
But, I’m not like them. I’ll share with you my knowledge. I’ll share with you what I’ve learned, the hard way. Because that’s just the kind of person I am. And, you deserve to know.
Here goes…
Dear Mothers: Do not, unless there is absolutely no other option under the sun, get your children a bunk bed. You will live to regret it, mark my words. The very first time you make the bed, my post will echo in your brain. I’m not one to gloat I told you so’s, but I will. Skip yourself the agony.
Sure, bunk beds look all cozy and idyllic. Two kids, one bed, sleeping in harmony. Whispering ghost stories late at night, swapping between top and bottom bunk, saving space in a crowded room. It all sounds so perfect. But it’s not. It’s hell.
Changing the top sheet may just kill you. The feeling can only be likened to putting on a pair of Spanx: The huffing, the puffing, the grunting, the heightened blood pressure, the sweating, the cursing. The fact that once you successfully have it in place, the reality hits you that it needs to come off eventually. You live in fear of pee. Instead of limiting your liquid intake, you’ll start limiting your child’s. It’s just not worth it. None of it. Go for the twin beds.
And thank me later.
{ 175 comments… read them below or add one }
Amen!! I refuse to have bunk bed’s in my home just for that reason. It’s just not going to happen.
You change your kids bed sheets??? Weird.
Mama Kat recently posted..I Might Be A Leper
That was gonna be *my* reply. Heh.
Liza (@amusingfoodie) recently posted..Homemade Maryland Crab Cakes
Laugh. Out. Loud. Awe.some.
Amy of “famed” pregnant chicken recently posted..Losing It – Week Two
I agree. Don’t change the sheets just cover up a mess with a towel.
Jen recently posted..The Joy of Working with People
I don’t even change *my* sheets. And kids don’t care about dirt, right?
And if they do, then you can start using them for manual labor.
So double win.
Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..A Boy And His Guitar- Which I’ve Randomly Named Bernice
Dirt is supposed to be good for them. Builds up the immune system. Seriously…
Theresa recently posted..Wednesday Words of Wisdom
no need to read further…yall just summed up every possible response that I could have dreamed of writing:)
I miss blogging so much – I’m so glad I stopped by:)
Erin recently posted..The Gentle Cycle
oh soooo true – i absolutely DETEST making the top bunk – it kills me (and i always feel as if i’m too heavy to be up there and am gonna go crashing through at any minute!)
I’m always especially scared on the stupid, tiny ladder that feels like it’ll buckle under my weight at any moment. lol, glad to know that I’m not the only one who feels like their surely going to fall through the top bunk at any moment, lol
Randi recently posted..A – Z blogging challenge – I
CORRECTAMUNDO, m’lady. :-\
katerz1 recently posted..BRAINZ! We haz dem
It’s not just changing the sheets on the top bunk that’s a danger. Wait ’til you get your hair caught in the springs of the top bunk while changing the bottom bunk.
Or better yet, wait until the kids figure out how much fun it is to jump off the top bunk or – my all-time favorite – lay across the top bunk, reach under it to grab the supports, and sommersault off of it, landing gently in a seated position on the bottom bunk. Or was it just me – I mean – my kids who have done that?
GunDiva recently posted..The Real Story Behind The Ashinator
nah, my kids did that too..
We HAVE to have bunk beds in my boys’ room because it’s just so small. But oh I wish we didn’t. Getting up there is the easy part. It’s the getting down that’s hard. And embarrassing. Thank god no one else is usually around except for my 2 youngest, and they’re not old enough to laugh at me yet. What does laugh at me? The warning sticker on the rail “Weight limit on top bunk should not exceed 100 pounds”. Ha! So not only do I hate it, but I also put my life in jeopardy.
C @ Kid Things recently posted..The World is His Ladybug
OMG – the weight limit would stop me every time! I think I’d just end up spreading blankets up there ’til it looked like “The Princess and the Pea” then I’d burn the whole thing down.
Misfit Mommy @ The Island of Misfit Moms recently posted..I Love You- Thora Levine
Hi, my name is Gwen. I made the mistake of buying bunk beds about two years ago. However, I’ve made up for it in a big way. I make my 7 year old, who sleeps on the top, make up his own bed. He complains and tells me what a horrible mother I am. Every single time we change his sheets he tells me I am abusing him. Better than abusing myself.
Thank you so much for this. I had considered getting them for the boys’ room. Now…not so much.
Sunday recently posted..Reunited and it feels so good
can you please add loft beds to the same category? Those should be for child old enough the make their own beds only!
THIS!!!!! Uggh! Our toddler was SO rough on his “toddler bed” that by age 2 it was literally falling apart at a touch. In an attempt to open up some more space in his horribly small room, my husband wanted to get a loft bed for our 3 year old. After pricing them at Ikea, etc, he instead made one that was just a LITTLE bit higher up, so the boy can play under it standing up. Thankfully, he put in a side staircase instead of the crappy ladder thing that comes standard. That said… I cannot use those stairs to get up to the top to make the bed. I also cannot REACH from the floor. I need to use a stepladder to change the sheets, and even then, we have one of those combo mattress/boxspring things so it’s super heavy lol. The 3 yr old is learning how to help mommy tuck the far corners (he feeds it to me through the slats under the mattress and i push it up from under the bed to snug the sheet. SO much work!!
I was seriously just THIS CLOSE to ordering bunk beds. My boys are DYING for them. You may have just successfully crushed two little dreams.
:-)
Cindy S recently posted..iPhone- Android- Whatever…but- can it make me do the laundry
I can feel your pain. We have TWO bunk beds in our house. One is shared between my 7 and 3 year old. And the one belonging to my 8 year old is a loft bed with the desk and stuff underneath. I can’t even REACH the bed on that one. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking with that one. My only condolence is the fact that I didn’t pay for either one, they were given to us.
My twins have been begging me to turn their beds into bunk beds. We have them as separate twin beds now and have been waiting for them to be old enough to get in and out of the top bunk bed safely. I wonder when my boys will be old enough to change their own sheets…
I LOATHE my son’s loft bed. Because of that, I only change the sheets when they stick to him….
If the kid crawls out of bed, and the sheets crawl out after him?
It’s time.
Why on earth as I’m typing this is there an ad for bunk beds in the side bar?!?!
I made my kids change their own sheets. I tried it a couple of times, but then realized I shouldn’t sweat when changing bed sheets! Besides I don’t get help changing my sheets.
I finally came to my senses and when we moved across country in February I “lost” the hardware. Then I took the rails to the recycling center and bought new twin beds!!
Oh, and I still don’t change sheets.
Teach your oldest to make the top bunk. My six year old can change the sheet himself, and the almost-three-year-old can take the bottom sheet off. The other secret is to only have a fitted sheet and a duvet/comforter/blanket thing. Keep it simple.
My son is an only child whose evil grandmother bought him bunk beds. He is 8 and, therefore, old enough to change his own sheets. Problem solved.
Stacey recently posted..The one about nothing
I have bunk beds in my boys’ room. I make my husband change the top bunk. He’s 6’5″ and it’s no problem for him. I tell him that his height is one reason I married him. :-)
Bunk beds are the devil. My oldest, 18, makes the top bunk when it needs to be made. It’s seldom used except to store stuffed animals, and cat hair. Now that she’s in college, I don’t know what I’ll do. Time to get a shorter bed, for a shorter girl.
Kelly recently posted..Apple Pie Debate
Ooooh thank you for telling me! I have two and as I contemplate the third I was naturally inclined to go with bunk beds. I will now strongly reconsider.
We had bunk beds for my girls for years. Honestly, the only time it was really a pain in the ass was when my oldest (top bunk) got the stomach bug (imagine what comes next) while my husband (who was 6’5″ and could have dealt with it) was out of town. Yeah, you get the picture. It was an unmitigated disaster trying to clean up puke from a top bunk at 2 in the morning.
OH MY GOD!
other than that, i didn’t mind so much.
Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) recently posted..In which i’m a creative genius … or something
If only I had seen this when Riley begged for hers…you are right, they are evil!
Practical Parenting recently posted..Nightmares vs Night Terrors Tips for coping with sleep disturbances
I just went through this…i was so excited to get a bunk bed…all i thought was how cute it was going to be in my daughters room, how much space i was saving, etc…then i made the climb to put on the sheets…and my life flashed before my eyes…there is no easy way to make it happen…i’m stuck with this for years…if only this post had come sooner!
I made the mistake of buying bunk beds for my two boys last year. A month after setting it up my oldest decided to take Spring Break literally. He fell off the ladder and broke his arm. Heartbreaking torture. I felt so guilty. But, he learned his lesson and now a year later he has great respect for the bunk ladder.
:( my two year old is a dare devil so idecided that the ladder would be kept in the closet during the day but he was able to climb up the side and fell on his head….. Was ok but scared the beck out of me
Evil indeed. Now that we are past the being perfect parents stage, we just throw a flat sheet up there and hope for the best.
I nearly pee’d my pants when I read this post. There is one thing in this world that I despise more than changing the top sheet of the top bed of a bunk bed. Being covered in millions of spiders. Not that I ever have, but I imagine THAT to be the ONLY thing worse. You my Twitter/Blog friend nailed it on the head with this post. In fact, I’m a wee bit jealous I didn’t write about it first!! Thank you for the hysterical laughter!
Holy crap! I didn’t think about that. Ok then, next option…
My mom in her (now that I have kids) infinite wisdom only allowed sleeping bags to be used on our top bunks! She also kept a waterproof cover on well after accidents weren’t an issue so that any juice, water, snacks, etc. that made their way up were easily removed. Our bunks were built into a whole wall unit and had a wall on 3 sides – she learned the aforementioned tricks pretty quick!
Changing sheets? Um. Ok.
But I get you. I’ve had to make up bunk beds on vacation. No WAY was I climbing up there. So they were kinda made. *sighs*
Jenn recently posted..In Which I Answer a Question and Thusly Prove I Shouldn’t Vlog
Don’t understand why that’s not totally obvious to everyone. It has to get made somehow! Kids not gonna do it! Never considered bunk beds or a loft bed just for that reason.
I’ll share my SECRET: you put one of those bed pee protectors, (a kid bed size one horizontal on the pee danger area) on top of the sheet, covered by another sheet or small blanket, when pee comes, you just pull that off et voila!
except both of mine refuse to sleep on the top bunk now, so one sleeps on the bottom bunk, the other on an old mattress from the crib on the floor, and the top bunk is just used to see who can jump farthest, or who can crack their skull first, always forget which one
angelica recently posted..Is the Field making you Fat and Ugly
As a mom of a 3yo and 5yo with bunks, I have to say that it was the only option for our two bedroom home. The kids’ room is quite small and oddly laid out.
I was all set to defend my choice about going for bunks last fall when I saw your post title. I feel like I’m still explaining my choice to my mother who is bound and determined that the kids will end up with split skulls. My response to her was, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to teach them how to behave safely on the ladder and top bunk.”
I’m glad your post was not about the above and about the thing I can relate to the most. The d@mn sheets on the top bunk. I continue to do what I did with their crib sheets – LAYER! A mattress pad/protector, sheet, mattress pad, sheet, mattress pad, sheet. This saves much times and energy.
I have two tricks to changing the top bunk:
1) Pull the mattress off and assemble my layering technique and then put the mattress back up. But more often than not, I employ…
2) Have my light as air, 13yo Mother’s Helper make the beds for me. Best $5/day money can buy. Plus she’s a much better housekeeper than I am.
I appreciate your wisdom. Although mine is in a crib still, the visual will stay with me, I will not forget.
Thank you for BEING HONEST, because I sometimes thing that motherhood is a conspiracy of suffrage.
Jessica recently posted..Office Scavenger Hunt
AMEN! She speaks the truth! I just talked one of my friends out of buying one for this reason – and the fact that I could easily picture her three year old launching himself off the top bunk a’la Buzz Lightyear.
Gigi recently posted..If you have about 16 hours to kill
I absolutely despise our bunkbeds and regret ever buying them, for exactly this reason! I now tend to wash the sheets on rare occasions and my daughter just gets to sleep in filthy, wrinkly, smelly sheets.
Many, MANY, years ago I was the kid in the top bunk and had to make it myself. Decided way back then when I had kids I would NEVER get bunk beds.
You speak the truth-they are evil!
Uhm, I get the somersaulting off the bunk bed being dangerous. You wanna know what my 3 year old did. She hung herself, from the top bunk, on purpose! Her and her 7 year old sister had tied a teddy bear to the top bunk, and were swinging it back and forth. So…she wanted to swing back and forth too. Apparently, by her neck. Obviously, all ended well, she sported a ‘hanging’ welt on her neck for a few days. However, that’s just another way that bunk beds can kill.
I must concur. The money I pay the cleaning lady at my house is worth every penny just so I don’t have to change the sheets on that darn thing.
Cathy @ All I Want To Say recently posted..random questions
I have a built in safety to prevent me from ever making such a purchase – just one kid.
Sounds like a total pain in the ass.
SaucyB recently posted….What’s in a Name? (The Origin of the Bitch)
This is why I do twin beds + the beach towel layering method. I seriously cannot change sheets to save my life.
And I so agree- bunk beds are the devil.
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation recently posted..Kids Say the Darndest Things
Thank you. Seriously. My son has been asking for bunk beds and wants to share a room with his baby brother. In my mind I thought oh sure, once the baby is older he can sleep on the bottom, etc…but you know what, I have enough trouble changing the sheets on the crib and the race car bed. Whew. Consider your words MARKED, permanently in my brain.
We bought bunk beds when our oldest was ready to transition from his crib. The top bunk has rails that go all the way down both sides like a twin sized toddler bed. We figured our child would grow up and have sleep overs, or we’d have a 2nd child and need a 2nd bed. We were just smart enough to have 2 kids and enough space for them to have their own rooms. The beds are currently single twin beds in each of their rooms, and I have no plans to bunk them anytime soon.
Amanda recently posted..Kids Need to be Kids
I am sooooooo with you. Hate the fricken bunk bed business. Hate the asshole who invented them even more! Obviously HE wasn’t the one who would be changing the sheets!
Has no one else been clunked in the head by a ceiling fan while trying to change the top bunk? They’re a hazard to moms’ health. Really.
I’m an oddball here.. I change sheets by pulling corners down through the bars from the bottom bunk. Love the extra dancing room the beds give.
lol. I grew up having bunk beds in my room. I never did have the top bunk, however. My sister did, and I think she fell out of bed once. Now that I’m married and have kids of my own, they do have a bunk bed. We don’t really have much choice in the matter, unless we want the bedroom to be just beds and nothing else. My oldest (7 1/2 years old) makes his own bed. I will help with the corners I can actually reach by standing on the bottom bunk, but other than that, he makes his own bed.
And let’s not forget the hidden DANGER of bunk-beds: those daredevil tactics that end up in trips to the ER! I have had two – 2! – cousins break legs by jumping off the top bunk onto a bean bag chair.
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HAHAAHA! That is sooo true. I’m 5 feet tall and have a hard enough time making the bed!
Heather Reese recently posted..An open letter to all the nerds- sluts- fags- whores- losers- and everyone else who isnt perfect
I never, ever, even thought about that. We were considering getting bunk beds for our boys if we tried for a third, just so we could keep a guest room. I was mostly worried about the boys sleeping in the same room together. I never thought about making that top bed. It’s probably about the same amount of frustration you feel when you’re trying to change your newborns crib sheets that were made at least two inches two short on all sides in the middle of the night while the baby screams bloody murder, right? To Hell with that.
Kmama recently posted..A Little Buster
Argh! I know! I take my kid pee around midnight and some nights he STILL wets the bed. I hate bunk beds!
Caroline recently posted..Nothings Wrong- Unless You Count Ice Cream Cake as an Emergency
I was considering getting bunk beds for my 10 year old because my stepson stays the night frequently and I figured it would take up less space and give them more play area while still allowing them to sleep comfortably in the same room. Incidentally, my stepson happened to be talking about the fact that he was scared of bunk beds the other day, before I even mentioned it to the boys. With that said, I decided not to go with the whole bunk bed idea. You have given me reason number 2 on why bunk beds are a bad idea. Thank you!
Stacey recently posted..Single Parenting at its finest
Wish I would have known this a couple of years ago. Changing the sheets IS the devil. I cannot believe no one warned me earlier.
Thanks for the heads up! I was tempted a couple times, but never took the leap. It’s hard enough changing the sheet on the regular bed!
Too freaking funny. We’re in negotiations for a 2nd kid and my husband and I were talking about bunk beds if we have another girl. Lesson learned. Although…well I had bunk beds but what’s weird is I didn’t share them. So maybe that’s what’s off. I don’t know. I’m intrigued. And sort of scared.
StephanieinSuburbia recently posted..I See San Fran- I see France!
Love this post! Now I’m thankful I have crappy Ikea mattresses. Those things bend like you wouldn’t believe. I can stand by the side of the bed and change the sheets. Well, I think I can…I’ve only tried it once. I’m with Christi…my kids have to sleep in wrinkly, smelly sheets. They don’t care and I don’t either as long as I don’t watch any Discovery shows about bedmites.
Sing it, Sister. We have twins. 9. Now in their own rooms. We have an OLD house. Small rooms. No room for a bed and a desk in the same room….UNLESS we LOFT them both. NO BOTTOM BUNK. Two “top bunks” essentially. We’re with MamaKat. Don’t change the sheets often at all. Hell’s bells, we rarely change OURS, and our bed is on terra firma. I DO live in fear of nausea over the edge, in the bed, onto the carpet. If any one is REMOTELY queasy at bedtime…sleeping bags on the floor.
Cheryl recently posted..Makes My Monday- Bananas Are Fun
I thank you now. As someone who has both makes horrible shopping decisions and who is always trying to save space… This could have been me.
ChiMomWriter recently posted..Kids Kill Happiness
The sweating, huffing and puffing reminds me of changing the crib sheets. omg….that sucked when i was pregnant w/ my 2nd. I got both of my kids out of the cribs quickly!
The spanx analogy is priceless.
I never thought about that aspect – I immediately dismissed the bunk beds for fear of broken bones, as at some point I’m sure they’d decide they should try to “fly” off the thing.
Dana recently posted..I Sold My Soul for an Attached Garage
Also the type of bed where the mattress fits down inside the frame instead of up on top of the frame, kind of sunken like. Extremely frustrating. I have to crawl on top of the bed and then figure out how to lift the mattress I’m sitting on. After have this no way would I want bunk beds because I know they have to be 10 times worse.
Jennifer recently posted..Ill fly away
It is hell especially when kid sleeping on top gets sick w flu and can’t
Get down in middle of the nite & projectile vomits from six feet off the floor. Hated that bunk bed & got rid of it!
This sounds horrifying. I’m bad enough about changing a crib sheet and I can reach DOWN not UP for that sucker.
Top bunk is kinda like the top of the fridge at my house: if I can’t see it, I shouldn’t have to clean it right!? Not unless company’s coming anyway lol! No, that bunk is strictly for stuffed animals and sleepovers!
You are so funny! Comparing making the bunk beds to putting on Spanx has convinced me to heed your warning.
Why the hell didn’t you write this a year ago???? Seriously, I freakin’ went and got a super awesome bunk bed for the kids last year. Although ours is more of a loft height (thank you Ikea) so it isn’t QUITE as difficult, it is still a pain in my ass.
Jeneva recently posted..Wherein I Worry
Me and my older sister had bunkbeds when we were young and back then they didn’t have the safety rails (or maybe our mom removed them so she could change the sheets) but anyways I can’t count how many times one of us would fall and we also did back flips off the top landing on the bottom as others have mentioned but now I have one for my 7 and 8 year old boys and I wouldn’t go for one of the ones with the ladder no way the one we went with has the stairs that are also drawers (nice) and I only put one side of the sheet on I make my 8 year old put the other side on and if your children aren’t at least 8 they should not be on the top bunk of a bunk bed and if they are 8, HAVE another sibbling, and a small room in which they share then they should already have the chore of changing the sheets or at least helping cause if we just do all the work now then what do you think that room will look like in a few years when we get tired of cleaning it and give up!
A to the men.
Found this out 600 bucks later.
OMG – My husband walked in the door on Saturday with bunk beds for my 3 year old and 6 year old to share…..my nerves have been on overdrive ever since. Sunday, I found my 3 year old on the top bunk trying to turn off the ceiling fan – which I told my husband needed to either come down or the bunk repositioned. This morning my daughter fell from the top rung of the ladder, after I told my kids to get to bed – after finally getting the sheets on my son’s bed (hated it) I found him jumping up and down on the top bunk and my daughter telling him to jump higher – where’s he gonna go next???? Through the roof. But I guess my suggestion to buy the Kura beds from Ikea apparently didn’t make much sense…..all I know is that I better not be taking any trips to the hospital!
Am I alone in finding the bottom bunk harder to make than the top? I just climb up to the top bunk and use fitted sheets, not too much trouble really. But the bottom one?? My arms just are not long enough and between trying to reach that back corner behind the ladder and trying not to crack my skull open on the top bunk I really struggle.
Oh the irony… I am having a new bunkbed delivered for my son . In February I was temporarily insane. To prove how insane I was I went with the twin over full model ( because that would be great for houseguest).
Arrrgh!! Just done the beds and my son has a cabin bed so much the same problem. I must admit, the beds get changed rather less frequently than they should because I dread it so much. AND it plays havoc with my acrylic nails lol
Well they do sound like hell but as you know I think cribs are of the devil. You know I started writing that one after we were tweeting the other night.
I love the idea of getting. 13 yo mothers helper to do it..if she even could!
brittany {mommy words} recently posted..What’s Your Word Adventure!
My kids have bunk beds, and because of it, I do not use a top sheet! I made the mistake of getting one that has a double bed on the bottom, as well- there is physically no way to comfortably put the fitted sheet onto the top far corner without huffing and puffing.
Unfortunately, my kids love it, so I can’t get rid of it. I WAS smart enough to get one with stairs instead of a ladder, though…
Mairin recently posted..My Week As A Single Mom- Day 5 Highlights
I dont have bunk beds for two reasons, I live in one bedroom (my daughter has the bedroom) and bunk beds would swallow up the room but the second reason they are dangerous. My sister jumped from the top bunk to another bed and broke her jaw.
Bunk beds sound like a good idea but they are not.
http://www.nycsinglemom.com
Where were you two years ago? It’s too late for me. I have been putting Evil on the top bunk and she strips the sheets. If I could only teach her to put them back on!
myevil3yearold recently posted..Does She Look Worried to You
my kids both wanted bunk beds. a boy and a girl with their own rooms. we figured what the heck. that way if family or friends spent the night there would be room. my daughter got the loft bed kind and they are even worse. i tried a few times to make the top bunk, then it went to their job. yeah right. soon they never got made and eventually turned into the stuffed animal storage. that is the only thing they were good for because my kids had too many stuffed animals and it kept them off the floor and neat. but yes, it does seem to be where the pet hair collects too. after awhile the newness of sleeping on a top bunk wore off and my kids both would only use the bottom bunk anyway. so when my youngest daughter says she wants a bunk bed, i think i will tell her they are against the law;and people who have them are just outlaws.
chantelle recently posted..To go out- or to not go out That is the question
Noted. Thank you for the warning.
I just make my husband change the sheets. Problem solved :)
Lynn recently posted..Fasting for Food Stamps and WIC Participants
before my kids were old enough to make their own beds i would just literally take the mattress off to change the top bunk sheet. though, i knew how it went because my niece had a bunk bed in her room, so when we bought one for our boys, we went with the super light foam mattress, not one with coils or a box spring or any of that nonsense.
the REAL fun of owning a bunk bed comes when your boys try and climb up the outside and not use the ladder. and you tell them every day not to do it. and they still do. and then, two weeks after you have a baby, the inevitable happens and one of them falls and breaks his arm so that the bone sticks out and you have to find someone to watch the baby while you take a screaming 4 year old to the hospital for a full arm cast. and then FIVE DAYS LATER you have to tell him not to climb up the outside of the bed with his cast on. and he tells you “but mommy, i already broke my arm, i can’t break it again, so it’s ok!” makes me wonder if bare mattresses on the floor with nothing else in the room is ever an option…
I’m happy I went with the super expensive Ikea beds that grow into twin sized beds that neither of my girls will sleep in. At least I only have to change the sheets on my bed. No need to change sheets if no one is sleeping on them. That’s a win right? Right?!
Sounds like my house!
Lindsey recently posted..Secrets of Successful Moms 17
well that sucks! just think if you invented a 5 in 1 bunk sheet ~then your only worries would be sheet placement #1 and removal of #5… Oops ~sorry…I don’t know where that came from ~my husbands “find a solution” has infiltrated the walls of my sub conscience (damn him!) and now I’m spewing it all over your comment section….hahaha
I pledge to never ever buy bunk beds ~after reading this!
I enjoy visiting your blog ~love your humor!
Amy @ mommetime recently posted..Wordless Wednesday they make me smile!
I will also add that when I was on the top bunk in college, I vaguely remember waking up my alarm clock and promptly knocking myself out on the ceiling when I sat up to turn it off.
Kelly Deneen recently posted..Wordful Wednesday- This time around
We’ve had bunk beds for years. I can’t stand changing the sheets…in fact, now that I have an older child, who is fully capable of changing her own sheets, on the top bunk I leave them happily alone. Which reminds me…..she hasn’t put them in the wash for a while. Oops.
Last year, days before BlogHer, I decided to take the old bunk bed apart on my own. I made the mistake of trying to lift a 6×3 sheet of plywood over my head and ended up having terrible back pain for months. I recommend that you don’t make that same mistake.
Lolli @ Better in Bulk recently posted..Enough Pictures- Mom! A Wordless Wednesday Link-up
My oldest has a full-size loft bed. I hate the damn thing and rue the day we ever thought it was a good idea.
Allyson recently posted..Love hurts
Fie on you! I am totally getting my kids bunk beds (when they’re old enough to not plummet to their doom on a daily basis). They will love me extra much, wondering what they did to get such a GREAT mom. Their sleeping quarters will force them to be better friends and they’ll play pirates and space ship in there happily for hours while I have peace and quiet every day. When they are older and are each others best friends they will remember fondly about the halcyon days of the bunk beds while the theme to On Golden Pond plays quietly in the background.
I am totally getting bunk beds for my kids.
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My oldest had bunk beds, however, the top bed only held his stuffed animals! Thank goodness, because if I had to climb up that flimsy ass ladder and crack my head off the ceiling, the entire neighborhood would’ve heard my big fat mouth dropping major f-bombs and probably called CYS to remove said child due to unsavory language being taught in said home. Then I purchased a loft bed for youngest child, who also used top for stuffed animals–what the hell is WRONG with me? Buying expensive beds for cotton-stuffed-critters when I could’ve just purchased cheap ass twin beds and then purchased a hot tub for myself!
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So so with you on this. So so glad I have one boy and one girl and two bedrooms. Bunk beds never came up as a topic. So so happy about that. So so repeating myself.
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Hammocks. All you need are hammocks. Works for sailors, sisters and brothers.
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It is a whole lot easier to take the mattress off, make the bed on the floor, then put the mattress back up. Sounds hard, but really isn’t. The sheets stay really well.
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Ah, so glad you posted this! I was seriously considering TWO sets of bunk beds. My kids have rather smallish rooms, so I thought bunk beds would be a nice way to give them some extra space to play. Not once did I take into consideration the drama that chaging sheets would bring. Since my 4 year old is still an occassional bedwetter, those beds will not be coming into my house. Maybe hammocks would work, though…
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Famous last words from one sibling to another, both on the top bunk, when they toy falls to the ground…
“hold my feet, kay?”
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Ah, the memories. Or should I say…..memory.
The very first time I slept in a bunk bed, the top one no less, I fell out of bed. I was in college where three of us shared a room. A single and two bunks. Being the last one to arrive my first day, I wound up with the top rung. That first night, yep, I must have rolled and just as I was going over the edge, I woke up but it was too late. I hit the rock solid floor, but somehow I landed just perfectly right and wasn’t hurt at all. Needless to say, we made other arrangements by dismantling the bunks and making two singles out of them. Less space, but much safer.
As for making the beds, I can understand the anxiety about changing the sheets. Sounds like I would just take the top mattress off, make it, and put it back up.
Where were you 7 years ago?! My baby is now 12 and he’s taller than me at 5’6”, he looks like a college kid with his long hair & hairy legs…
He wants the futon from the computer room for his room now. If I knew then what I know now, we would’ve just gotten him an air mattress…
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Thanks. Thanks a lot. 6 months ago you couldn’t mention this?? We have TWO sets of bunk beds!! Although, I totally count making the top bunks as exercise for that day. :)
Thanks for letting me know! I’ll be sure to jot this info down when it’s time. What other info do you have for us new moms that we need to know?!
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How crazy am I? I have TWo sets of bunk beds! Every week I want to shoot myself over them!
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try changing that top bunk sheet pregnant…I’m still amazed I never killed myself…
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Hysterical. This may be the only piece of advice my mother ever gave me about parenting and still I questioned it. Not any more.
I thought I was the only one who thought this way! I thought that maybe there were clever ways to change the sheets that I was just too tired to figure out. Tired from wrassling those damn sheets off the bed, on the bed…and truth be told? I only pull them off to wash them when they get too gritty or crumb-filled or just sort of little-boy smelling…because it’s such a fat pain the ass. And let’s not even get started with bunk beds that have stashes of stuffed animals parading down one end. Off with the animals. Off with the sheets and blankets. Then back ON with the sheets and blankets and back ON with the goddamn animals.
Sleeping bags. On the floor. That’s what I should’ve instituted a long time ago.
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My husband wanted to buy our only child a bunk bed. Because they are cool and he always wanted one as a child. I put my foot down. But now I am starting to lean towards buying one for us. Our son can sleep on the bottom, since he is always visiting our bedroom in the wee hours of the night. We can sleep on top. And my husband can change the sheets.
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As a child, I always dream having bunk beds but I was a single child and I m sure it were pretty expensive in those days.
Now, I dream of them for my future kids. Nedlees to say, bunk beds subject is dead and bury after reading this.
If I were in your shoes, I would tell them that it’s night’s camper every night and trick them to sleep on the floor.
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Ha! I have only one child, but even we were not privy to this secret, and bought a loft bed. Oh it was so cool. Dresser and desk underneath, all efficient on space and all. And then I had to change the sheets. Again, and again, and again. And I went through that special kind of hell until we GAVE that bed away.
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My kids sleep in bunk beds and they make their own darned beds! There’s no way in hell that I’ll risk my wide butt climbing up there. :)
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That and the fact that my 2-1/2 yr old is ready for Jackass Toddlers and is bound to kill himself on a bunk bed.
Always one for meaningful advice. Thank you, Jill.
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bunk beds are OF THE DEVIL.
I remember from my overnight camp days that trying to make the top bunk on a bunk bed is THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD.
I am just getting back from a 4 day vacation where my kids shared a queen sized bed in a sh*tty hotel … where they bitched and moaned every single day that “their feet touched” … blah blah blah.
I’d take that noise ANY F’ING day over changing the top sheet of their bunk bed…
They suck! Big monkey dick! 2 more months of this crap and it’s back to sharing a bed for awhile…
I was so jealous of my cousins’ bunk bed growing up. And, I always thought when I have kids…maybe I should reconsider.
I have 2 sets of bunk beds… I tell my husband that he (being 6ft 5) is responsible for the top bunks since 3 of the 4 kids are his and he is tall enough to reach all the edges! So far, so good! PHEW!
Oh, yes, they are! I hate them because I always feel like the kid on top come crashing down! My kids were playing on their cousin’s bunk bed (who lives in D.C.) when we were there a while back (when I met you for the first time!) and I was a panicked mess, with my arms in the air, ready to catch my little one. Scary! Scary! Scary! And changing the top sheet… NO IDEA how’d you do that! OMG. While, like, standing on the ladder? Yup, NO bunk bed. Ever!
oh, this is so true-changing the top bunk is my least favorite job in the house-followed by changing the bottom bunk where i hit my head at least 10 times-and would you believe i have 2 sets of bunks in my house-what was i thinking the second time around!!! glad to see i’m not the only one who doesn’t change the sheets on the top frequently! thanks for the laugh!!
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Dead on! : )
I just need another baby so Kaish can share a bunk bed.
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My younger cousin had a bunk bed that he shared with his older brother for a while. It’s good for saving space if you only have one room for the kids, but yeah – taking on and off the sheets is a backache begging to happen!
I desperately want to take your advice, but with four kids in one room, I think I’m going to have to find this out the hard way. I need that air space to store sleeping children.
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i hate the idea not just because of the sheet changing, but because i would live in fear of the top one falling off and breaking their head open. i’m paranoid enough already.
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I must have it so easy. I have one kid, she got an unused bunk bed from my dad, and she makes her top bunk (with a little help from the ground-me). I love the bunk bed cause now she actually sleeps in her room (most of the time).
Awesome post – thanks :) I had never even considered the sheet changing thing – I just avoided the bunk beds for safety reasons.
Unfortunately you don’t know how your kids will use/play with something until you get it home, so you can’t guarantee that the lil’ guys won’t play Superman and “fly” from the top bunk. I wasn’t willing to take the chance.
Instead, we positioned their two twin beds in an “L” shape, leaving a small square area on the floor. When you consider the fact that they are young enough that they don’t take up the full length of their beds and can keep some toys on the foot end of each of them, it actually works well. Plus they have “captain” style beds – draws underneath. No bunks for this house…
I totally agree. Bunk beds for my kids are a no-no. I would prefer each of them having a separate bed rather than have the agony of a bunk bed.
I wish I would have read this post a lot sooner. We bought a bunk bed for our boys and OMG it has been the biggest headaches ever. I hate changing the sheets!!!
LOL here I was thinking you were going to say the fear of children turning into Supermen or Mary Poppins as they parachute off of the top bunk.
Or lifting one of those genius sleeping children into the top bunk.
Is definitely the reason for no bunk bed
but have to say I think I like this reason as well. LOL
Refuse to have them in my house by the way for all of those reasons and now even more because of yours LOL
you are hilarious
The bunk beds look great in all the Pottery Barn catalogs but the ladder scares me. Both boys share a queen size bed and will do so until they are 20. How about that for brotherly bonding?
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Hmmm…I had a bunk bed as a teen…even though I didn’t share it with anyone. It was one of those full/twin bunks. The top was mostly for pillows & stuffed animals unless a friend was sleeping over. I also let the kids I babysat sleep up there for overnight stays. I don’t remember changing the sheets being an issue. Plus, we’re set to get a set soon…so I want you to be very wrong. ;)
Currently my kids share a twin bed. It was fine until I ended up with a bed wetter…cuz it gets them both up in the middle of the night.
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My children have bunk beds.. I so wished someone would have warned me!! The sheets are just begining!!
I agree! That’s why I have the twice a month cleaning lady change the sheets on the bunk beds for me!
Bought a beautiful (way to expensive), solid bunk bed for my two boys. Boys ran in, flew to the top, argued who got the top and then one jumped from and one jumped on the top bunk. Blah.
Night came, and, for the first time in 5 years, my 8yo has a accident -wth! Next came my first bunk sheet changing experiance (and also my last). NIGHTMARE!! It took me almost 40 mins!!!!!! Needless to say, the next day I let the boys pick out two new sleeping bags each and that is what they now sleep in- when guests come by we throw a comforter over them and ta-dah… no ones the wiser. : )
Now I’m back to loving our bunks!
we don’t have other options in our 1327 square foot home and 5 kids so we have to embrace the bunk. i agree about the top sheet … like putting a slipcover on a couch. and the baby loves to climb the ladder just to watch me freak out.
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Oh lord! I feel this way about cribs, as well! I hate lifting that darn mattress out of the crib to change a sheet. Alas, a crib is pretty much inevitable. =/ Total. Frustration.
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Darling, let ME give YOU a word of advice now. Ok?
Ahem.
#1 Don’t get bunk beds till they’re 100% potty trained. That is a given.
#2 Don’t put sheets on their bed. Just a blanket to lie on. Then? You never have to change the sheets! Voila!
#3 One final option would be to just, um, NOT CHANGE the sheets. I will admit this. We don’t change sheets very often. We are dirty, dirty people. But I don’t have a broken back from trying to change bunk sheets. Choose your poison.
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I had a set of bunk beds growing up, all to myself. What’s the big deal? As a kid I could change the sheets from the floor. It took a minute or so longer than the bottom, but was easy. And you really so lazy that changing a set of bunk bed sheets causes you to huff and puff and fear a heart attack?
I regret getting bunk bed with every fiber of my being. Or the only thing worse than bunk beds? A loft bed! In our boy’s room we have bunk beds PLUS a trundle that rolls out from underneath. My boys think the most fun thing they can possibly do is to jump from the top to the trundle. Downstairs in the evening all we hear is BOOM. A few minutes later… BOOM. The cardboard that holds the bottom of the trundle mattress is one gigantic hole now. lol. If an 8 year old, 5 year old and 3 year old can cause this much chaos, I’m terrified of the teenage years. In our daughter’s room there is a loft bed – someone remind me why I bought a top bunk?? I’m looking to replace the beds with normal beds and just deal with the lack of “play space” – they drag their toys all over the house anyways, they don’t need play space in their rooms…
OMG! Evil does not even describe changing the top bunk~~~ NIGHTMARE. LOL
OMG! I wish I found your site months ago. I have one of those twin over full beds and it is a royal PITA!
Glad I read this!! We’re moving house soon and I’ve promised my 2 sons a bunk bed (or “bumper bed” according to my eldest!) in their new room. Am gonna have to renege on that deal now that I’ve read this post! Any ideas on how to break the news? How about those cabin beds, are they any good?
I’ll be the rare dissenter that grudgingly appreciates those bunks. We have 6 kids and only 4 bedrooms. Two of the bedrooms are pretty small so we have two sets of bunkbeds. One set is from IKEA and is actually meant to be a loft sort of bed that can be flipped over one way to put a desk or make a play area underneath or flip the other way to make a canopy. We flipped it so there is a mattress that basically sits on the floor, hence; the bottom bunk. And then the other mattress goes on top. Because the height is minimal, it’s not difficult to make at all. The girls share that one. The boys, on the other hand, have regular bunks, complete with the absolutely impossible upper bunk. The mattress actually has to be SLID into place, which means changing the sheets is a herculean effort! My boys are 12 & 13 but even the both of them can’t manage it. Thankfully, my 13 year old has taken the top bunk & isn’t a bedwetter. He also showers every night before bed so the sheets stay cleaner longer (at least that’s the theory we’re going with), so we can go with just once a week sheet changing. We used to have a loft bed for our 17 year old. But he hated it, said it was much too hot up there, he couldn’t sit up there and play his guitar, hanging out with friends in his room was awkward. So back to IKEA we went and got just a basic old bed.
On July 2nd, my friend from Sweden is coming for a (long) visit. So the bunks are going to be occupied by 14 and 16 year old girls who are already fighting over who gets which bunk. I’ll let them worry about the sheets on their own (bet they won’t change them the entire 3 weeks-lol)
Bunk Beds don’t need to be scary or questionable. We manufacture quality solid hardwood bunk beds in Toronto, ON and back our products with a 10 year warranty. Our bunks are strong enough for two grown adults to sleep top and/or bottom. Our ladder is made of 1″ thick solid hardwood and will hold your average football player with ease. So rest assure, when you buy quality beds for your children, you will sleep much easier at night knowing the bed is safe and secure.
Will you come change the sheet for some of these people
Mike, it’s not that bunk beds are scary or questionable. I’ve seen children act like monkeys on bunk beds and the bed is none the worse for wear. The problem comes in reaching up over your head to try to wrangle a fitted sheet and mattress pad six feet up. There’s just no easy way to do that. Especially in the middle of the night when your child has just wet the bed and you’re half asleep. No matter how safe and secure the bed is, no matter how high the quality, you’re going to wish you just had a mattress that sat a waist height and shed liquid like a raincoat. Or better yet, changed its own sheets.
I wish the truth about bunk beds had been shared with me before I bought one for my boys. I hate making the top bunk. My upcoming solution is to buy a day bed with a trundle.
When I was pregnant w/our 3rd child, we had 3 bedrooms. So our middle one had to move into his big brothers room. Bunk beds were the only option. The guys put it together + @ 6 months pregnant, I got up on the bunk + put sheets on.I gave my poor hubbie a heart attack I’m sure cause he walked in the room + my ass was in the air. He used to be pretty adamant about changing sheets on our bed but w/the bunks? Not a care! I realized the err of my ways that day but there was not much to do. Now the two smaller ones are in the bed + I don’t make the top bunk anymore-the kids do. They wouldn’t care if they slept on hay! Just give em a pillow + blanket + they r done. So save the bunks til they get a little older + can change sheets themselves. Then make them change your sheets too. No free rides kids!
I bought my daughter a loft bed. She changes her own sheets
Told exH not to get bunk beds for our 4y/o who has his own room bc I think he’s too young for the top bunk and I’m scared he’ll get hurt… After reading this, hoping exH has learned a lesson about listening to the smarter primary caretaker! Lol
Bunk bed huggers and inseparable sheets make “bunk making” a little easier.
Don’t fall for the loft bed conspiracy either. And regardless of the height of the bed, spend the extra money and invest in a really, REALLY good waterproof mattress pad. AND, no matter how much you just spent on that mattress pad, give up the hope of ever selling your child’s used mattress unless you know someone who is willing to take your child’s old pee into their home for money.
Have hubby (or if you’re willing to push yourself today, you could do it) just take the mattress completely off the top bunk. Undress it, then redress it- layer 1: waterproof mattress protector, layer 2: sheet, layer 3: waterproof mattress protector, layer 4, sheet. Put on however many layers you want, and then careen that sucker on the top bunk. When there’s a mess, or you just want to change sheets, pull off just one layer of sheet & protector. It’s easier to get them off than to put them on! If done well, you could end up only having to add sheets once a month or so.
I must say we did not have any doubt to get a bunk bed when I was pregnant with #3 and #2 therefor had to move out of the crib. We do live in Japan so space is an issue and likewise heating and cooling, which mean two rooms upstairs and the living room has space heaters/airconditioners. So the 8, 6 and 2 year old share a room where we have a bunk bed, a crib and a futon in case I or my husband or both of us sleep with the “baby” or one of the other children, which happens almost every night. Yes it is a bit of a hassle to change sheets on the top matters but we have never had any issue with the kids going to sleep. Bedtime=silence per my definition and they know it.
You mean I’m supposed to change that sheet?
Why are any of you getting bunkbeds for kids who can’t make their own beds anyhow? And only so much dirt and germs are good for your child’s immune system….stop being lazy and change your poor kids sheets. You had the children stop whining and do your job. This site is like a huge bitch fest. It’s unbelievable there are so many women that can’t focus on more important things like your child’s behavior or attitude or if they are happy and you are providing them the best training to be a good person. Too many mothers out here are apparently not focused on the right topics and in turn are turning out just horrible people who put a drain on our economy or worse…suck up our tax dollars in court costs and prison sentences. Thank you for that ladies!!
Prison over a bunk bed. Really???I think you’re over reacting just a tad don’t you?
Such BS. We have a bunk for our 3 and 4 year olds and they love it! you must be a super dooper lazy crybaby if changing the sheets (which surely you dont do more than once a fortnight?? or you’re being a little over the top imop) is THAT big a deal? And just to add to that…surely you’re not making their bed everyday?? #1 they should make their own, and #2, it’s a bunk bed in a child’s room that nobody sees. Is it REALLY that important it gets made?
Bunk beds rock!
My thoughts exactly!!
There’s an easy way to change the sheets. Pull the mattress off the bed and stand it on its long edge alongside the beds. Put on the fitted sheet, upper corners first, then lower corners. Put the mattress back into place. Use a washable duvet to cover the kid, and no top sheet.
A kid that still wets the bed does not get to sleep on a top bunk.
Didn’t read all the other comments (too many!) BUT here is an EASY FIX: Just lay a flat sheet on the top bunk! It doesn’t have to be perfect..There will be other blankets covering it!!
No kids no problem and no complaining. If have a family u need to sacrifice everything for ur kids that’s how life is.Alien…
Pull the super-light mattress down, put the waterproof mattress cover and sheet on it, then put it back up. Simple.
Yes! I was going to say the same.
I went from a toddler bed to the top of a bunk bed, and stayed there until I went to college. My mother never changed a sheet in my entire childhood. Making up a bed was one of the first chores I was taught, but then it was up to my if I wanted to do it. My mom declared she had better things to do than police my bedding.
Meh, I bought two full sized bunk beds for my four daughters, the space is wonderful, it’s not hard. Maybe it depends on the bed. These were like 600 on Amazon w/ free shipping. White with over sized drawers underneath, we love them!
Wow you guys are over reacting. I’m 20 and have a bunk bed with my roomie. And I love it! The only issue is getting up and down when you are sick. It’s not that hard to put sheets on it, you put the furtest corner on, jump off and you can put the other 3 on.
as someone who slept in the top bunk i think there the best thing ever. I changed my own sheets too.
I love the bunks as there is room to put a long worktop area with storage bins underneath for the small boys to put all their toys on. I like to put clean sheets on at least once a week but it isn’t a problem for me – I get up onto the top bunk to change the fitted sheet, then to do the duvet I stand on the floor at the foot of the bed, lift up the bottom of the mattress through the bars to hook the bottom of the duvet under, then get back up there again to straighten the duvet. My 5 year old likes lots of teddies on there and I leave it to him to put them all back!
(and I am fussy about having it all neat and tidy so would rather do it myself!) :-)
So, guys, here’s the thing. My little sister and I had bunk beds many moons ago and my dad would just pull the mattress off the bed, momma would change the sheets, and then he’d stick it back up. We did it ourselves as we got older.
Although, they agree bunk beds are the devil.
OMG! We just ordered bunk beds for our daughters and I seriously just woke up from a dead sleep thinking…how in the $&@? am I going to make top bunk??? So I started Googeling. What have we gotten ourselves into?