Christina Aguilera has some wise words for moms who are feeling overwhelmed.
Christina Aguilera might be a glamorous, Grammy-winning musician, but she’s also one of Hollywood’s realest women. She doesn’t shy away from talking about feminism, sex, body image, or the demands of motherhood, and in a recent interview with Women’s Health Magazine she had some insightful things to say about the pressures moms face.
Aguilera, who’s a mom to eight-year-old Max and 17-month-old Summer, says the hardest part of being a mom isn’t the actual childrearing part of the equation. Rather, it’s the insane and unfair expectations society places on us. She says:
“Mothers are constantly expected to be the nurturers, the givers, the providers of a comfortable home. We’re expected to be pregnant, have the kids, breastfeed once we have the babies. And we’re expected to look amazing after baby, right? Keep our husbands and boyfriends interested — because we’re supposed to get back to sexy and keep things exciting in the bedroom. There’s such a long list.”
Aguilera adds that having children is “the ultimate joy,” but says it’s vital that women still “find time to nurture themselves.” She continues, “If someone has a baby, the first thing I’m like is, ‘Okay, are you taking care of you?'” She sounds like the kind of friend we’d want in our corner.
Aguilera tells the magazine she does yoga now to center herself and tune out the chaos of her busy life, but it took her a long time to find her confidence and ignore the outside voices. After the birth of her son and following her divorce from his father, magazines had a field day dissecting her supposed weight gain and endlessly speculating about her love life. Aguilera slimmed down noticeably in 2014, just before getting pregnant with her second baby. When she announced her pregnancy, TMZ broke the news using this disgusting headline: “Christina Aguilera Thinned Down Just In Time To Pork Up Again.”
There’s an insane amount of negativity directed at moms who don’t conform to society’s standards or who don’t go out of their way to uphold the image of “having it all,” but Aguilera says the important thing is not to let other people’s expectations get you down. When asked what advice she’d give to women, she said:
“If you’re not feeling confident on a certain day, you have to let that go, and own, ‘Yeah, I’m not feeling confident today’ and you move on and try to enjoy life the best you can… I’m into enjoying life, being conscious and aware, but also breathing into yourself and owning what you got.”
Celebrity moms have it easier than us “normal” folks in a lot of ways, but that doesn’t mean they’re immune to bad days or to the pressure we all feel to be perfect parents, partners, friends, and people. Aguilera’s advice to put everyone’s expectations aside and just focus on taking care of yourself is the best advice you could possibly give to a new mom, or to any mom.
It’s tempting to drive yourself crazy trying to be everything to everyone, but at the end of the day, the best thing we can do is slow down, accept our limitations, and just focus on doing what we can in the moment. You don’t have to be the greatest wife and mom in the entire world. You just have to worry about being the best possible version of yourself.