This 90-Year-Old Jäeger-Slamming Cubs Fan Is Your New Favorite Person – Scary Mommy

This 90-Year-Old Jäeger-Slamming Cubs Fan Is Your New Favorite Person

90-year-old Chicago Cubs fan Dorothy Farrell is who we want to be when we grow up

Remember when we were little kids and had big ideas about who we wanted to be when we grew up? Maybe an astronaut or a lawyer or president of the United States? And do you know how those dreams and goals shifted over time to things like getting a promotion at work, taking a dream vacation to Italy, or even just getting out of the house on time with everyone wearing both shoes? Well, put those goals aside and meet your new hero: Dorothy Farrell. Because this feisty, funny, and boozy 90-year-old is the epitome of #lifegoals.

A diehard Cubs fan, Dorothy Farrell has had the same season ticket seat in the first row at Wrigley Field since 1984. As the Cubs advanced in the playoffs this year, Dorothy’s become somewhat of a local celebrity around Chicago — mostly because she’s one of the few people old enough to remember the last time the Cubs went to the World Series (it was 1945), but also because she’s all kinds of awesome.

When asked in a post-game interview last Saturday how she planned to celebrate the Cubs’ victory as NLCS champs, she said, “Probably with some Jägermeister.” Wait a minute…a 90-year-old woman celebrating with Jägermeister? Two words. Bad. Ass.

Note to self: buy a bottle of Jäger.

And if Dorothy’s post-game Jägermeister celebration plans weren’t awesome enough, this video is where Dorothy confirms that she is, in fact, The Coolest Woman In the World. She is funny as hell and can throw back shots of Jägermeister like nobody’s business — which basically means she is everyone’s new best friend.

After hearing how much Dorothy likes to celebrate with Jägermeister, WGN’s Pat Tomasulo decided to invite her out for a couple rounds of shots, and she happily obliged. After settling in with a round of shots, Dorothy wasted no time telling it like it is. She called cell phones “stupid,” and admitted to telling people with cell phones what we’d all love to do when we see that dude at the school concert holding up the giant iPad to video his special snowflake: “Put that damn thing away.”

Over the course of the interview, Dorothy puts back not one, not two, but a half dozen shots of Jäger. Just watching her gives me flashbacks to all those Jäger bombs I did in my early-twenties. (Okay, my mid- and late-twenties too. Don’t judge.) When asked if she likes to party, she slyly answers by saying, “I like to get the feeling going.” Amen, Dorothy. So do we.

Basically, Dorothy is all out of fucks, except when it comes to the Chicago Cubs and having a good time. She loves to bowl and listen to Dean Martin, and her favorite baseball player is Mark Grace because she “like[s] to look at his ass.” Oh, Dorothy, you saucy minx.

Called the “Terminator” by her much-younger drinking buddy who cringed and gagged on every shot, Dorothy shows us the we’re never too old to kick back, have a good time, and enjoy a few laughs. She is seriously the epitome of #lifegoals.