Mothers & Daughters


Jeff and I were lazy parents last night. We stuck the kids in our bed, put on a movie and decided they could just fall asleep without teeth brushing, stories and songs.

The two of us sat on the couch together; no computers, no kids. It was nice. We talked.

Jeff told me about how sweet Lily has been with him lately.

The night before, when he tucked her in, the two of them lay side by side in her twin bed and reminisced. He told the story of the night he fell in love with her, in her lilac room in our very first house. She was a few months old and crying in her crib. He went it to console her and she looked up at him, smiled and he melted, as only a father can.

He told her of the time when he’d been away on business and came home and she was so happy to see him that she cried tears of joy as she hugged him close. She teared up and cuddled with him, remembering that feeling. They traded countless stories and laughed and dozed off together.

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She’s been amazing, lately, Jeff said, his voice shaking. Fathers and daughters, I sighed.

He looked at me, expectantly.

She told me she hated me four times today, I contributed.

Mothers and daughters.

About the writer


In addition to being the founder of all things Scary Mommy, Jill is also the New York Times bestselling author of Simon and Schuster’s Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

From Around the Web


L.A. Say Inc. 2 years ago

This is very common but she will eventually appreciate you for doing what you do for her…. like when she moves out lol.

Kelly 3 years ago

So thankful for this post…. It’s nice to know I’m not alone :)
My mornings are generably horrible with my 5yr old daughter and I bickering about what she will and will not do (ie: get up, brush her teeth, etc.) but, sure enough if Daddy asks — she can’t move fast enough. I feel like she hates me. Make me want to cry sometimes….

Leslee Albright 3 years ago

I believe my daughter telling me (everyday!) that she hates me must mean I'm doing something right on this parenting gig.

Lynette 3 years ago

My girls will soon be 10 and 12. The younger one still wants to snuggle. The older one came home from the first day of Kindergarten to announce that she was officially too old to hug and kiss her mother… that only babies do that. So, I’ve kind of had a few years to come to terms with the idea that one day she’ll probably murder me in my sleep.

heather 3 years ago

i never had the “i hate you”. but i did catch my dd’s reflection in the window flipping me off a couple times…..

Dawn 3 years ago

I never believed in abortion until my daughter hit those “precious” teenage years. I then believed that you should be able to abort your daughters when they turn 12, only to be returned when they have their first child, and not a moment before! There is hope though-my daughter, who must have told me she hated me every day for about 5 years, is now one of my best friends. She thanked me one day for loving her no matter what, and never giving up on her. Those are the most wonderful words a Mom can hear. She now has two kids of her own and has experienced the “joy” that a
prepubescent child can bring! And if your story doesn’t turn out as beautifully as mine has, relax. There is a time when you will go through menopause, and trust me, that will be your angel’s ultimate payback! You think teenage girls can be mean, bitchy, and crazy? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Yes, paybacks can be a bitch!

My 2 Monkeys 3 years ago

I just found your blog. I love it :) It is nice to know I am not the only hated mom :( My DD started “hating” me at a mere 18m when she started biting. It has slowly progressed to hitting, screaming, and of course the “you are the worst mother ever” and ” I hate you”. Did I mention she is now 5. She is me as a child to a T (I don’t remember it so young) . My dad laughs at me and is like ” pay backs a b**ch”. When you talk to other parents it makes me feel worse. Because they have the the most perfect child. Why is there so much people don’t like to say about parenting or pregnancy for that matter ? Why do they sugar coat it ?

Lori@TheLyonsDin 3 years ago

SOOOO glad it’s not just me. Whew.

Lillian 3 years ago

Hope it’s not too late already.
Mine is 40 and still hates me, always did, probably always will, until her daughter does the same to her.
Funny thing is, she runs hot & cold. One day she loves me and can’t say enough about how she appreciates me and then something will p*ss her off and I’m Mommy Dearest! She’s even gone so far as to poison my relationships with the rest of the family. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t react anymore, good, bad, or otherwise. I just keep my distance. I’m getting to old for this and so is she. Grow up or grow up. . .

jill 3 years ago

If your moms still pisses you off you arent doing it right after my first night up all night with a sick infant i called my mother in tears apologizing and telling her i loved her… once your a mom to its like you suddenly realize how.much work is on the otherside

RuralRebellion 3 years ago

I already feel like this and our DD is 19 months old. She is obsessed with Daddy, and some days I feel like she hates me already. I’m pretty jealous.

Anna 3 years ago

I have 3 daughters and a son. There’s an age gap between my first two kids and my last two kids. I was an active duty Marine when my first two were a toddler and an infant. I was always a sahm with my last two. My oldest daughter has been trying to kill me since she was in utero and very nearly succeeded in giving me a heart attack several times. I was the kind of mom that homeschooled for several years because we were a military family and moving all the time. When we finally put the girls back in public school their IQ’s dropped 10 points and it was girls gone wild. They both got pregnant at 16, two years apart. I felt like such a failure, even after I found out that their friends were also trying to get pregnant, some sort of pact. Naturally my two were the fertile ones, sigh. My son and youngest daughter are alot smarter than their sisters, honor roll continuously etc. But all THREE of my girls have daddy wrapped around their collective pinkies. He’s put us into debt any number of times because they just had to have something. But he’s always so hard on The Boy (this is how he has always been referred to), who absofrickinglutely idolizes his dad. I have to constantly remind my husband that The Boy is the only one that actually likes him and thinks Dad can do no wrong. The Boy would never dream of treating his dad the way his sisters do, in his mind DAD is a Superhero, of course The Boy just turned 13 and Dad has probably lost his window of opportunity to have a better relationship with The Boy. Men can be so dense. I learned to never trust my girls and my boy is the only one I can trust to do what I expect him to.

zumpie 3 years ago

Wow, it is sooooooo totally different at my house. My daughter and I are incredibly close and except for a couple of few week phases always have been.

The hubby? Not so much. They tend to fight a lot (though it’s been better lately)–and my daughter will frequently announce that she “isn’t a Daddy’s girl, but is a Mommy’s girl”. Of course my cause is helped by the fact that I’m the fun one AND that my daughter and I are really, really similar personality-wise..but there you have it.

Poor dad is just on the outisde looking in..

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

And I just noticed…did I misunderstand you, or did you say your life is too complicated for kids?? Are you seriously saying that you’re giving parenting advice and aren’t even a parent? I hope I misunderstood that, because taking advice on parenting from someone who is childless is like taking advice on being a lesbian from a gay man. Completely irrelevant, except what they read from books and observe with a completely foreign and a bit of a jaded eye. SMH.

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

And by the way, I’m not “scary mommy.” That’s the blog owner, the one who you were insulting by saying she is fostering a lack of honesty and communication in her home.

As far as all caps, perhaps you should brush up on your web etiquette. All caps is called yelling, and it indicates vehemence…and vehemence is an emphatic statement. Grammar 101. You’re the one who began the whole thing by being…well, by being uptight and a bit trollish. No reference to your appearance, but your comment was extremely negative, judgmental and not necessary. Sorry, but if the shoe fits, wear it.

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

Who the hell do you think you are, woman? Where did I ever say I yell in my home every day? And believe it or not, I’m not the one always doing the venting. Kids vent, too, and it’s not because I vent at them. Obviously not: you stated yourself that your mom NEVER yelled…yet you yelled. Hum. And my friend, I don’t need your platitudes about teachers and psychologists…I am one. Have been both–a teacher and a family counselor. Sometimes there’s a time to hand the people the Nerf bats; sometimes they need to do a trust exercise together; sometimes, they need to yell and get their feelings out. Don’t condescend to me. Re-read your original comment and tell me you weren’t needlessly cruel and judgmental. I know what I am talking about.

Yup, kids do grow up. And when mine have done so, we’ll still be tight. Because we’re honest and real with each other, not repressed and uptight. We talk, we laugh, we cry, we yell, we have a lot of fun, we have deep discussions and irreverent tickle-fests. And I won’t ever, ever tell another mom that “SOMEDAY, when you need support, and your kids run off to the beach or mall w/ friends, you will regret LACK of honesty and communication YOU built in family ethics from early childhood”. WTF? I don’t know her, I don’t know you, and I’m in no position to say that she “fostered a lack of honesty and communication…in family ethics” based on a damn blog post. Those are your words, undercovermoms. Note mine. Who needs to learn here? A troll is someone who just comes in and says something mean when they shouldn’t. And an uptight wench is someone who takes themselves way too seriously.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Again, we disagree and you are presuming caps are vehemence. I cap for emphasis. Are you having another tantrum, Scary Mommy? ASK before you judge. “Gee, I don;t understand your comment. Do you mean ____ or ______.”
Adult Conversation 101.

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

LOL that’s one reason to yell every now and then, to not explode. I don’t pretend to know everything. Why do you? Honestly, you sound like a parody of a psychologist, like the shrink from that movie, “First Wives Club”, talking about “grow from love” and such…Regarding offense, if you didn’t mean offense, why were you offensive initially, before anyone replied to you? Seriously, did you go back and re-read your original comment? It sounded so very condescending and condemning, it made the hackles rise on the back of my neck. I sincerely hope you didn’t intend it that way.

And I am very sorry to hear about your mom…that sucks. Glad you went through your yelling period and came out the other side a better person. God, it’s not like I’m saying that’s the only thing to do, to yell. Like I’m some primal scream therapist or something. It’s not always optimal, but it’s there as am emergency pressure-release valve, as long as it’s not done in a hostile and mean way. Sometimes the teapot needs to scream a bit, let off some steam. It’s healthy. Now, a good massage or a yoga session or a nice conversation, that’s even healthier, but it’s not always possible. When my little girl is just going off for no reason (hormones…), I let her yell. She has never said she hates me and I pray she doesn’t, it would just crush me. I’m waiting, though, because I know how hateful teens can be in the grips of a raging snit. But when she yells at me, I will yell back, then we end up laughing about it later. The point is, you judged the author, and I despise that. You’re talking about shades of grey, yet you were so very black and white with what you said, and so apparently unflinching in your assessment of her failure as a parent. It bothered me as immensely unfair, and I don’t stand for injustice.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Bravo! Plenty of love to go around.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Kinda cute.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Do you have teenagers? They will always run off to the beach and chill w/ kids rather than listen to a “venting” Mother. I have a lifetime of reality. The kids grow up, Mom is stuck in a rut of “venting”. I’m not judging or calling Moms “trolls” or uptight wenches. Get a 2nd opinion from a professional or a teacher.
Don;t listen to experience. Pay $250 an hour to hear a Psychologist say “you are yelling and name calling in your home everyday, and you want ME to fix this in one hour”.
Whatever works.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

My Mother NEVER yelled. She had a lifetime of migraines. She died of brain cancer. I yelled. Not my style. Made me miserable. Ok? So, there are many shades of gray. Keep talking and sharing here. Real feelings. Before you explode. Take the pressure off g r a d u a l l y. Moms understand. Moms care. No offense intended.

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

Undercovermoms, I “threw insults” because you threw them first, and you are the one who began the whole thing by trolling. Go back and read your original comment, with its all caps vehemence (which I mirrored) and judgmental crap. You act like you know her personally and have observed her family and judged it, finding it lacking. You don’t know her. That’s my point, that you have no right to judge her. I’m not saying unless someone vents they’re wrong. I’m saying you’re wrong for saying venting is wrong, because it isn’t! If this is about diverse ideas, you don’t condemn someone else’s and basically call them a bad parent. Offer your own opinion for yourself, not judgmental statements like: “SOMEDAY, when you need support, and your kids run off to the beach or mall w/ friends, you will regret LACK of honesty and communication YOU built in family ethics from early childhood.” That, undercovermoms, is just plain being mean and condemning when you know nothing.

And yes, it is “my game” because I know people like you who are self-righteous and are completely out of touch with reality, and seem to derive great comfort from being mean to others by acting so very self-important and condescending. I don’t personally know the woman who wrote the piece, but I do know, from the tone and timbre of your reply, that you are someone who I’d rather not have as a friend, someone who would offer syrupy platitudes in the way of advice and rolled eyes instead of a helping hand.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

I yelled PLENTY because I was stressed, and over-worked.
There is a time and a place for Moms to get heard and support. It is w/ other Moms. You are growing too.

Too complicated for kids.
And they love you DEARLY. Your world is ONE. It is a beautiful time to be a young family. Once in a lifetime. Very precious. Very tiring.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Unless a Mom “vents” you throw insults. This is NOT your game.
You are venting because …you are not in control at all times of your kids. THIS is reality. This is called “a forum” for diverse ideas.

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

Well, consider this the universe telling you not to kick things again. It only damages things…including toes. Perhaps punch a pillow? Scream into it? Done both and they both help LOL. And yeah, my hubby is always telling me, why didn’t we pay extra for the kid models with the mute and pause buttons, as well as the common sense upgrade? Shaking my head, wish it was that easy! Take it easy on yourself, putting yourself under too harsh of expectations will only lead to more pressure and more problems. Do something for yourself, and try to relax. Read a book, take a bath (once the kids are in bed?), eat some chocolate. You can only be good to someone else when you’re good to yourself, or else there’s no foundation.

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

So here, ladies, we have the probably only specimen of this breed: the woman who doesn’t ever and hasn’t ever yelled about anything. Sorry, friend, but yelling IS therapeutic sometimes. It’s a form of therapy recommended for people who need to be able to express themselves but are repressed. Don’t believe me? Look it up. And as far as talking, of course it’s best, but can you honestly say that a teenager is always rational and willing to talk, rather than to yell? And can you say you’ve never been under pressure (not a dirty word, it’s a real life we’re talking about here, not some theoretical utopia) and yelled before–and that it didn’t feel good for a moment? Now, if you yell and are mean and nasty, that’s one thing. But sometimes, just getting things out of your system IS HEALTHY. Repression is not. It’s like lancing a boil or other infection: the nastiness HAS to come out, or it will poison what is inside.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Give yourself a hug. Hope your toe feels better. Everyone needs a break ! Lay down, take a break, read a magazine.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Enjoy. Sounds GREAT. 2nd Chapter.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Uptight? Don’t think so.. talking is great. Yelling is not the solution. It is a symptom of too much pressure.

With friends, school, work. Hard on people. Went thru it plenty. Regret it today.

Daughter,sons, the whole nine yards, Ladies. Enjoy them when they are young and depend on you for support every day. Best days of your life.

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

For real, some of these uptight wenches need a reality check. And a sense of humor. I’m best friends with my daughter (who is also going through an extremely bratty pre-teen phase…), and we always talk stuff out…after the screaming and slamming doors phase has passed and we’re ready to talk again. Everyone has to vent now and then, and the hating thing will pass, if you’ve been a good mom. Likely you have, every kid says that kind of stuff at some point in time.

Jessica Brown 4 years ago

Wow, who the hell are you, undercovermoms? Who peed in your cheerios, lady? Do you even have kids? If you do, they’re prolly young, or all boys, because this is a girl thing. Are you honestly going to tell me your children have never mouthed off at you? And if they have, are you going to tell me it’s only because you did something wrong? Because that’s what you’re saying here about someone else. You’re judging her without knowing her from Eve. You’re making these suppositions and insinuating things about a woman who you don’t know AT ALL. Sure, she writes about things and is frequently sarcastic, but that doesn’t sum up her entire parenting repertoire. My guess is, she’s a great mom, and is a lot less sarcastic in person and around her kids than online, where you can be whoever and whatever you like, without regrets.

My mom was funny, sarcastic, sweet, loving, and at times, yeah, she got angry. Sometimes she’d blow up, when I was being particularly frustrating, or when life was being frustrating. Wow, she needed to have gone to Undercovermoms U for Moms, huh? She was a bad mom, huh? I do know this (and I knew it then, too, in the selfish awareness of a pre-teen and teenager), that when I vented on HER, it was not because of her parenting–it was because I was a jerky teenager!

Seriously, lady, get off your high horse. Your post was way out of line. Saying that she hasn’t been honest and formed communication in her family? You don’t know her, and you can’t judge her. Piss off, you troll. And no, venting isn’t toxic–it keeps you from exploding. I’m venting on her behalf here. You sound like you need to get laid and relax, you’re too perfect for life. Real life, that is.

Undercovermoms 4 years ago

Again, why are these children venting on Mom? Is Mom venting on them? Takes two to tango. SOMEDAY, when you need support, and your kids run off to the beach or mall w/ friends, you will regret LACK of honesty and communication YOU built in family ethics from early childhood.

Moms can fix immediately w/ sincerity. Sarcasm is not sincerity. Name calling is not communication or family support. Venting is toxic.

donna 4 years ago

i have 2 daughters 2 sons 1 grandchild all living at home which i love i know im crazy but my daughters are old enough now that were good friends too they had moments of the i hate you not too much haha ive always been very close with all my kids now i have the light of my life my grandson so to all you young moms it will turn around i use to say to them when they said i hate u but i love u which drove them crazy haha im 47 and lovin my family friends and life try to laugh everyday

beanstalk 4 years ago

im soo sad right now i have just spent the afternoon screaming at my 4yr odls she is such a wonderful little girl but when she goes my goodness its hard, i got so stressed i walked out of her room and kicked a wall now my toe is broken. i am writing this as she watches tv oblivious and i have tears streaming down my face and an icepack on my foot. i want to be all supernanny but with washing cooking a 1yearold and everything else its so hard. i feel that if anyone heard me they would call social services. i dont think im a bad person but sometimes i wish they had an off button

Marzipan 4 years ago

Or, they become Tiger Daughters and turn on you, as you created false expectation life would always revolve around their “Plan A”.

Pot calling the kettle black? We live in a narcissistic society. Moms need to TONE DOWN the public tude.

Just a Mom

Marzipan 4 years ago

Let her know you want to be counted too! “Honey, when you told Daddy he was your best friend, I was so HAPPY , because you and Daddy are MY best friends too!”

Let her think about your feelings, as daughters naturally compete w/ mothers. It is natural. Moms reinforce bonding, compassion, and teamwork. Stay together in spirit.

No contest between anyone in family. Bad spirit!

Cheers, A Mom

Marzipan 4 years ago

Welllllll, I’m divorced “scary mommy”, and daddy is “poor daddy”.

I say FOOEY to name calling. Negative emotions are important for every Mom to manage, teaching by example from the GIT GO @ birth, or …..we all fall down in ring around the rosey.

Divorce, death, recession, health, crime, earthquake, flood, tornado, etc….means mommy gets slammed w/ trouble and how does she put Humpty Dumpty back together again w/o kids’ support? Start now! @#$% happens.

Cheers, A Mom

Marzipan 4 years ago

Love/ hate or respect? I’ll take respect. Life a 2 way street. Use golden rule w/ EVERYONE in your life, Mom. The kids will grow up thinking you are a punching bag, or perfect. Which is worse?

Hugs, A Mom

Marzipan 4 years ago

Did you tell her it hurts? Hope so, or she will think you are made of foam? VERY important to remind kidlets life is a 2 way street. Everybody hurts when folded, spindled and ….. no one rides for free. Everyone gets wet in the rain, deary dears.

Hugs, A Mom

Marzipan 4 years ago

Dads are suckers for compliments. They’ll take them from Moms too! wink wink :)

Robin 4 years ago

It was the same way in our house for many years. Just wait….after they have their own children you are the smartest person they know and they can’t appreciate you enough :) It’s really great – yet another bonus of having grandchildren!

Scary Mommy 4 years ago

I assume this person is new to my blog. She won’t last long if she found THAT offensive. Good Lord.

myevil3yearold 4 years ago

I’m glad you are totally set back because I do not like you. How exactly am I cursing her? You are very judgemental to have never been around me or my children.

jennifer 4 years ago

I am totally set back that u call ur 3 year old evil, do u know that u r cursing her.? There is no blessing there at all. Maybe u should start building her up instaed of tearing her down. Children r our gifts. They r not evil.!!!!!!!!

Marzipan 4 years ago

Keep the kids talking. Be a good listener. Especially daughters w/ new boyfriends, and fantasies about new guy being like “Daddy”. Waaa… No no no.

Doesn’t work like that. He ain’t your Daddy, darlin’.
Daddy is unique. Take it slow!

Kathleen Coleman 4 years ago

Loved your post. My daughter and I talk just about everyday because she can’t walk to class at college and just contemplate life. But I’ll take it … at least she calls and shares way more about college life than a parent should hear. I swear somethings in my head I’m listening and saying “LaLaLaLaLa I can’t hear you!”

Marzipan 4 years ago

Super Moms have feelings too. Nothing like a Mom forum!

Marzipan 4 years ago

Correct! You ARE Supermom. Stand up for yourself, and let kids know “ouch, that hurt!” Your kids need to support you when small, as sometimes the falls get bigger as we age. When you REALLY need support, they may not know what to do.

Kim 4 years ago

Ain’t that the truth. I have one 19, 20, and 21. They are all at the I hate my parents stage.

Imperfect Mom 4 years ago

“I do believe, I do believe, I do believe.”

Imperfect Mom 4 years ago

OMG where’s your sense of humor? Are you living in Oz?

Imperfect Mom 4 years ago

Awesome comment!

Stasha 4 years ago

Loved this post. I was always grandpa’s girl.
My son loves me. Right after TV, toys, chocolate, dog, horse and math. Don’t worry, he is still on top of my list.

Marzipan 4 years ago

Yelling? Berating her Mother? Yikes. Time to teach boundaries. Suggest ground rules for weekly Mother-Daughter “kitchen table” chats, sharing grievances BY LIST. Include tea and cookies, as needed :)

These healthy habits will last a lifetime to her credit and success!

Marzipan 4 years ago

Undercover Moms encourage all Moms to teach equality and good communication to children.

Moms and Dads are equal, sisters and brothers are equal. Quality time is equal. Love is equal and unlimited. Respect is equal. No name calling. Speak from the heart. Share your feelings w/o blaming. Learning to manage negative emotions is equal.
Support is equal. Play no favorites to divide.

Dads miss important bonding time w/ children daily.
Whatever precious moments they get, should be given unconditionally by the entire family. A loved Dad is a happy Dad.

Imperfect mom 4 years ago

Scary mommy you are the best! My husband thinks I’m nuts right now cause I was laughing so hard looking at my ipad! The good news is your husband will be singing a different tune when she’s a teen. The bad news is she’ll still be yelling Mom I hate you along with, you’re ruining my life, everyone else is doing it, yada yada yada.

grace 4 years ago

Love this :)

Donna May 5 years ago

When my daughter was 5 we were in J C Penneys, and I wouldn’t buy her $50 sparkly pink tennis shoes…. she threw herself down on the floor and wailed “I hate you, I hate you”. Her father walked away and pretended he didn’t know who we were! LOL or else I’d scream!!

Donnamay 5 years ago


Meanest Mom on the Block 5 years ago

HILARIOUS. I just forwarded this to my Facebook friends… and might have to post this on my blog, too. So feelin’ you. My daughter’s wails for daddy persist all day long. And I just tell her, “Daddy’s at work. And no one can hear your cries. It’s just you and me, sweet cheeks.”

liz 5 years ago

In our house, Daughter #2 does NOT like Daddy. Mommy needs to do everything for her, or holy Hell breaks loose.

Tonight was just one example. I needed to go in and put her to bed because she was irate and screaming that Mommy needed to do it.

The girl’s got some serious Daddy issues.

Sher 5 years ago

That’s so cute! We have one girl who will turn three next week. She is also definitely a daddy’s girl. Sometimes when she wants something from her dad, she will say pretty please in a way that daddy can’t deny her. I wonder what he will do if she’s old enough to ask for a car! :)

Btw YOU HAVE A GREAT BLOG!!! I love your honesty, I guess I only tend to write about the good coz im too conscious to write about the bad and the scary. I’m kinda new in blogosphere, but I’m happy to read blogs like yours that give me inspiration!

Randi 5 years ago

The other night my 12 yr old daughter made some sassy remark to me, and out of the corner of my eye I seen her Dad’s jaw drop. I look over at him and snap “Yea, all the friggin time!”. He told me later he couldn’t belive it, and that he secretly didn’t believe me when I told him that she was such a smartie pants.

Nicole@MTDLBlog 5 years ago

That last line made me laugh. out. loud. So true! But I hear, that when they’re adults, we’re their best friends. I wouldn’t know because I wasn’t raised by my mother, but I’m looking forward to the day when that’s true. We’ll see. :-)

Ellen-TCMom 5 years ago

My 4 1/2 year old takes the pictures of my husband off the piano and goes into a corner and looks at them sadly sometimes when he is at work. She tells me she hurts she misses him so much. But she is still young enough to tell me I am the luckiest mom in the world ( because I have her and her 2 sisters…. and I do agree) The father daughter bond is very special mine was with my dad and I am so glad it is with my husband and my girls too.

Alissa 5 years ago

Ain’t that the truth?!?!

Oh the things I said to my mother growing up…

Vicki 5 years ago

This post is why I’m glad I have a son and I’m hOping he’ll turn out gay.

Brittany at Mommy Words 5 years ago

Oh my goodness the kids go crazy for Ross all the time and I am like dirt to all but VIolet…and even she melts for Ross. Jeff and other dads are so lucky to not be the constant bad guys. Sophia has not told me she hates me yet but I think my heart will break. Hugs. She loves you babe.

fitness girl 5 years ago

I grew up still in my mind thinking that is my mom really love me? I didn’t feel any importance from her she always got mad at me,,but i still love for all what she acts.

Hollywood Farm Films 5 years ago

Oh the things we do for love!!

Like hiring a manny’s!

Jayne 5 years ago

It’s funny, because although we joke, there really is an injustice in motherhood sometimes, especially when the Husbands pull the “I barely see them, I find it hard to be a disciplinarian” card, it’s such bullshit.

I’m just clinging to the fact that when they get older, they’ll need, and want their mum, and you’ll be the hero then.

CLO 5 years ago

There is a true love affair going on between my husband and my girls (4 & 6). I’m “mean” because I’m there the most and actually make and observe the rules. My husband Is royalty. A typical night… I pick the girls up from school we get home and i immediately start cooking dinner,emptying and loading the dishwasher, unloading the backpacks and reading and dealing with any notes. Sometimes forcing my oldest to get some homework done. Daddy walks in and the run to him screaming “Daaaaaaaddddddddddyyyyyyyy!!!!” then they play monster, running around screaming and playing while I continue to cook etc. I call them all for dinner. Which the girls rarely like. And I, and dad a little, encourage them to try it while they blame the chef for making something so disgusting. Then while I clean up from dinner daddy carries them upstairs,both at once, and is supposed to get them ready for bed. Mostly they play and get riled up. I come upstairs and have to put on my drill Sargent hat to get jammies on, teeth brushed and flossed. Once that’s done one will ask, “Who’s putting me down tonight?” “it’s Mommy’s turn to put you down.” I say “humph! I want daddy!” Lovely. Off to bed they go. My husband,the superstar, and I go downstairs to relax… We watch TV together… He mans the remote while I sort and fold laundry…
LOL! Some day I pray that they’ll figure it out, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a while.

Ally 5 years ago

Sweet! The father-daughter part, I mean. 😉

Renee Fisher 5 years ago

Ah, yes. My daughter is 34. Me: lots of therapy, lots of meds.

The Flying Chalupa 5 years ago

HA! This is hysterical. Ah yes, Lily is entering THAT stage. The stage when a mother can do no right. But don’t let the word ‘hate’ fool you. It’s tween for “what would I do without you.”

Krystyn 5 years ago

I wish I could have had that relationship with my father.

And, I’m so glad my daughters have it with their father…if only they saw the mommy side, too.

The Baby Mama 5 years ago

I never had a relationship with my father – even now, we can go for weeks without speaking to each other. I would have done anything ANYTHING in my power to have had a good relationship with my father while growing up. I wanted to know him and I wanted him to know me. I think daughters get their identity and learn about their sexuality from their daddies so I will be well pleased if Baby Girl has a good relationship with her daddy. It’ll be the best thing for her. And yes, it has already started – she would far prefer to be with him, than with me. Which is okay – we’ll just have to have a son next so I can have some good, comforting baby time with one of my kids.

The Domestic Yogi 5 years ago

Your last line hit me like a slap in the face. What IS it about mothers and daughters. I can already see it coming with my 3-month-old. She is all dew-eyed for her daddy while I get all the fuss. Ah well, she is a doll, and I am so honored to have a daughter to indulge in all things divinely feminine. Thanks for your beautiful, yet steely real, post :)

The Domestic Yogi 5 years ago

Love the ending. It hit me like a slap in the face. Gosh, what is it about mothers and daughters. Now that I have my own daughter, I can already see it coming! Seriously. A few months old and already she is all smiles for daddy while I get all the fuss. Oh well, she is a doll, and I am so honored to have a daughter, even if she tells me she hates me four times a day! Thanks for a beautiful (steely real) post :)

Kim 5 years ago

Oh wow; this just made me think of that movie with Meryl Streep & Renee Zellwegger, “One True Thing.” If you haven’t seen it and decide to, get some tissues. It’s a real mother/daughter thing – and more.

Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation 5 years ago

I dread the day that Sadie starts to tell me that. I know she will.

dusty earth mother 5 years ago

oh man, that made me laugh out loud. yeah, I like to think of it as my hourly bitter pill to swallow, the “I hate you, Mommy” pill while she bats her eyelashes at Daddy. Oh, well. Women.

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 5 years ago

Great…first you make me cry from “aw, that’s so cute” and then you make me laugh b/c you are hated. Sounds about right!

The other day, the Crazies told me, “I no yike Mommy, but loooove Daddy.” That’s the day they learned how to get out of their own car seats 😉

SaucyB 5 years ago

There’s definitely a very emotionally charged dynamic between mothers and daughters. On the upside, ten years from now you’re sure to have a best friend for life.

SaucyB’s last blog… Facebook Isn’t Just for Friends

Liz 5 years ago

Truest post I’ve ever read.

Zeemaid 5 years ago

*LOL* I don’t get the I hate you’s very often but I do get the “tude”. That’s the price we pay for being with them all day. At least in our house.. Dad gets to breeze in and have all these nice sentimental chats with the girls before bed while I’m still hepped up from the most recent have you picked up your room, brushed your teeth, put your dishes away, brushed your hair, no you can’t have that for a snack battles.

Bruna 5 years ago

Hehe. Sweet. :)

Irena 5 years ago

michelle, i understand. my daughter doesnt have that relationship with her father(ex-hubby) either. but she does with her grampa(my dad) and her big brother. im greatful she has Manii(her brither KHAMANII)and Papa. your lil mama might not have daddy…but im sure there is a daddy figure in her life,grampa,brother,uncle or just a realluy great male friend of yours. I am a daddies girl all the way,so i felt bab my lil one wasnt gonna have that…it took me awhile to see thst she did =)

Irena 5 years ago

Jessica isnt it amazing how grown up our girls think they are before they barely even have a vocabulary….but when it comes to boys(my son silly self in-particular)I wonder if they will ever grow up??? LOL

Nancy Davis Kho 5 years ago

I think the worst part of the torture I endure at the hands of my beloved girls is that I still have an actual diary entry from my middle school years, going into great detail about why my brother simply doesn’t understand what an idiot my mother is. I’m sure in their own way my girls believe they are COMPLETELY justified.

My mother, of course, got the last laugh when I bore two daughters, just like her…am keeping fingers crossed for granddaughters someday myself.

Gibby 5 years ago

As the mother of two girls, this is SO true!!

Mrs.Mayhem 5 years ago

My 5 year old daughter has yet to say she hates me. But yesterday she shouted, “You did this! You did this to me!” when I wouldn’t let her have a snack right before dinner. She ran upstairs and slammed her bedroom door. Apparently it wasn’t loud enough, because she opened the door and slammed it again.

Yeah. She NEVER would do that with her dad. She wouldn’t need to.

Michelle Saunderson 5 years ago

I am so glad that they have that relationship. My daughter has never had the relationship with her father (my ex) and it breaks my heart.

Erin 5 years ago

well…in their defense…what else are sofas for???

Erin 5 years ago

At age 31 I count my mother as my VERY BEST FRIEND but…this being said, when I call in “crisis” she most often hands the phone to my father who can generally talk me off the ledge in 2 minutes or less.

Fathers & Daughters – special stuff…

Beatufiul post:)

PS. I hate you too (in a nice way)

Jayne 5 years ago

My daring daughter told my Husband that he was her best friend in the universe the other day.

I smiled on the outside. I died a little on the inside.

From Belgium 5 years ago

I can relate, oh how I can relate.
They only have to turn their big brown eyes and pleading faces in his direction and he turns into a big puddle of melted butter right in front of my eyes. Sigh.
And I am mean because I told the two year old that sofa’s are not to be used as trampolines…

Alison 5 years ago

This is why I hoped our first would be a girl. We have two dogs who prefer me so I thought it’d only be fair to have a little girlie that would love daddy more. But we ended up with Chubbs, who is just now, at 5 months, showing his preference for mommy. Luckily daddy loves mommy just as much and thinks its cute. I can’t wait to have a little girlie, I know the boy will be a wrapped around her finger :)

b harper 5 years ago

Even as a newborn, my daughter clearly associated her dad with “fun” and me with things that she needs (food, sleep, clean diapers). I’ll have to wait until she wants to start dating – that’s when I’ll be the cool parent.

pammiesue 5 years ago

Sweetie, I feel your pain! Tho my daughter and I’ve always been extremely close, she’s been her father’s since day one. Mainly because her older (colicy brother for 5 efin’ years stole her from me!) Yeah, you read that correctly. Natalie’s first sentence was “RUN THE BALL!” yeah…proud momma. No! Very proud Dad! and uncle and various beer…well you get my drift. Mine are now 19 and 16. I envy your night together whilst your kids fell asleep in your parental bed. Scuzzy teeth and all. The story Jeff shared w/ you was nothing short of precious”). I think I’d have leaned over, kissed his soul , said “thx honey…for sharing” Then dropped the daughter bomb! He owes you some spa time! or at least a back rub, lol

Jessica 5 years ago

Irena this made me laugh. Last week in the grocery store my 3 almost 15 year old daughter wanted candy in the checkout lane and when I told her not today she looked at me and matter of factly said “You are the meanest Mommy ever”. I said, “I love you too”.

Caryl 5 years ago

Ditto that. And I right-clicked on the recipe.


ginny 5 years ago

I so appreciate your honesty.

When my daughters were in grade school we carpooled with a friend who also had a daughter. One day on the way home from school, the my younger daughter (about 5 yrs), and my friend’s daughter were louder and fussier than normal. So, my friend told my daughter that if she didn’t quiet down, she’d tell my husband. My young daughter replied, “Oh, daddy’s not scary.” To which my friend said, “Ok, I’ll tell your mom.” According to my friend, my little daughter quickly became quite silent.

I’ve been the scary mom (which is why I love your site) while my husband had been the fun one who threw them up in the air, tickled them and grabbed their toes as they giggled and ran past him.

These days, with both of my daughters grown, Jim has evolved into “Stodgy Man” and I’m “Little Mommy.” I guess I’m not so scary anymore.

Amanda 5 years ago

Should I feel bad now for not giving my husband a daughter? Because i kind of do. But I’d only want to give him one if she could look exactly like me because my boys are blond and I’d want a dark haired girl, except that I don’t really want any more kids. I’m rambling and confused about the kid thing. I hope my boys love me as much later as they do now.

Nina 5 years ago

Yup- and my husband is exactly this way with the girls, too. He’s crazy about Sam . . . literally prayed for a boy with our first (and got him!), but it’s for sure different with the girls.

Chris 5 years ago

I have seen the love hate relationship with my son and daughter go back and forth. It is like some weeks they have favorites and then decide to randomly switch…I get confused.

It is always nice to see your kids love your spouse though…

Coleen Hamilton 5 years ago

I am all teary-eyed just reading about these special moments. They are so blessed to have one another.

Leigh Ann 5 years ago

My first thought when I found out my twins were girls was, “They are going to hate me.” And now I have another one too. Help me.

Sara — The Football Wife 5 years ago

Mine hit me in the face when I picked her up from a playdate – FYI, she’s only two.

Eva Fannon 5 years ago

Aw…just got all teary reading that – and then a good laugh at the end :)

Vinobaby 5 years ago

SO glad I have a boy.

I still cringe remembering the horror I was to my mom during those tween/teen/college years.

Don’t worry, I’m sure you will become the best of friends when she hits about 25. And she wants to move back home after college. Forever.

Or maybe that’s only what boys do?

Good luck.

Jack 5 years ago

Clearly he is a very smart man. I just remembered that I wrote about this a bit when I guest posted for you.

But when I think about all this,it is hard not to want to put my girl in a castle. You can make fun of the mythical man cold all you want and I’ll talk to you about how many stupid lines girls fall for.

Oy, it makes my head hurt to think about how hard it is going to be to teach my daughter that boys are not bad, but that will say what she wants to hear.

And now if you’ll excuse me I have to go see about buying a gun and building a moat around our house. 😉

Anthony 5 years ago

Right back atcha, sista.

Jill 5 years ago

I think I laughed so hard at your last line that I snorted…

so true… so very very very very true….

Cathy @ All I Want To Say 5 years ago

Yes but you know that you will each have your own periods of time when you are the number one parent. It just happens to be his at the moment.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

I love that. At least I have the boys to take away the sting.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Sounds interesting. I may just have to make that my first parenting book.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Anthony, I love you.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

A few years ago, Lily told me she wanted her dance teacher to be her mother. Nice.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

I damn well better be!

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

LOL. Her teenage years are going to be HELL. And are you trying to kill me with the Butternut Squash Gnocchi in Butter Sage Sauce? Um. YUM.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

HA! I can only wish the same upon Lily.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Oh, yes. The “you HATE me’s” are the worst.

Lois 5 years ago

I was a Daddy’s Girl growing up and remain so to this day. My mother always said that boys are closer to their mothers and girls closer to their fathers. Maybe. My son tells me he loves me more than I love him. He’s six and has no idea. I’m enjoying it while I can.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

That is exactly how Jeff is. Exactly.

Angela 5 years ago

I’m glad my son is a momma’s boy…

Jack 5 years ago

I had to laugh when I read this. Daughters are different. My son is awesome, but I am in love with my daughter. Don’t take that the wrong way, it is not weird or anything like that.

That girl of mine has a way of just melting me. The other day I was spitting blood about something and she just walked up, hugged me and put her head on my shoulder. Damn, if I didn’t forget why I was angry.

I have blogged about her a bunch of times and will do so again. But she knows that when she is old enough to date I am going to turn into the worst nightmare these boys ever met.

Someone has to put the fear of god into them.

Jessica Torres 5 years ago

I have not entered the “I hate you” stage yet but I know it is coming…and I have two daughters. This should be fun!

Holly Taylor 5 years ago

Thanks for that! My three girls all ADORE their father. He is the candy bars for dinner, its okay skip brushing your teeth their baby teeth anyway, sure I’ll lay with you at bedtime type of dad. He can do no wrong! I either get “I hate you” or ” you hate me” all damn day long! The only love I get is my studip male chocolate labs!

Charisse 5 years ago

Yeah….that is too sweet. There is no father in our house. Just me and Mommy Jennifer. But Mommy is way cooler than me. Yesterday when I picked up the kiddo from After School she told me that she had an AMAZING picture that she colored for Mommy. And when she draws pictures of our family – guess who gets no hair or ears??? Yep – me. She doesn’t hate me yet (she’s five), but she loves her other mommy way more than me. FOR SURE!!!

Irena 5 years ago

haha…i had to laugh! i have a 5 yr old boy and a 3(goin on 15)yr old daughter!!! i haven’t gotten to the I hate you place…but does MOM,YOUR SO WRONG and YOU ARE SO MEAN MOMMY count????

Joanie 5 years ago

What a great story!

Sue the Desperate Housemommy 5 years ago

And so it goes. I know that YOU know that the tables will be turned soon enough. And then they will be turned yet again. Daughters rock.

Carolyn (temysmom) 5 years ago

I love hearing stories like this. I never had a good relationship with my father and always wished I had the kind of Dad that I could love and talk to and would be there for me no matter what. Didn’t happen. With my three daughters, I am making it a point to make sure they are growing up close with their father. My husband adores them but doesn’t always know how to talk to them. I’m pushing it… hard. I want them to all be close. But sometimes it takes a Mom to make it happen.

Marinka 5 years ago

Oh, it gets better, hang in there!

Just the other day, my daughter told her father “you’re the best daddy in the world.” And when I said “AHEM! What about me?” She threw me, “you’re a really good mom,too!”

Sunday 5 years ago

I am sure this perfectly describes how my mom felt when my sisters and I were little. Dad would come home and it was all sunshine and rainbows. She certainly was in the trenches all damn day and could have used some of that.

30ish Mama 5 years ago

Isn’t funny how the father/daughter relationship is so different from the mother/daughter relationship? I know I was always an angel for my dad and a terror for my mom. My mom would often say that she hoped I would have a daughter just like me (and she didn’t mean this as a compliment). When I was pregnant with Stella (pre- ultrasound) I dreamt that I gave birth and she was literally growing before my eyes and was absolutely obnoxious to me. When I woke up I knew that I was having a girl and that my mother was going to get her wish.

Zoey @ Good Goog 5 years ago

We are still at the age where as much as my daughter wants to be an independent little girl, she’s still my baby and wants to be. I am not looking forward to the ‘i hate you’ stage of things. I like nearly-three. Tantrums and all.

Colleen – Mommy Always Wins 5 years ago


Love Erin’s quote though: “My boys think I’m perfect. My girls know I’m not.” Guess I’m glad I have boys…

Adryon 5 years ago

Maaaaaan. You made me all weepified. My daughter and my husband had the stereotypical daughter/father relationship. He was the worlds most perfect person in her eyes. They had inside jokes and stories. Even years after he’s passed she still tells me things like ‘Oh that was good, but Daddy did it better.’

How beautiful that Jeff and Lily have that connection. He’ll have lots of memories when she’s rolling her eyes and ignoring him as a teenager :)

Amy 5 years ago

My hubby wanted a boy deep down. But she has become THE most important thing in his life and he loves her more than anything!! She loves him too. (sometimes more than she loves her Momma!)

Brook @ To Be Dancing 5 years ago

Oh, and the other day we were watching Oprah and he says, “I wish Oprah was my mommy. She’s much nicer than you.”

jojohedgehog 5 years ago

Oh I am hopefull that my daughter be different with me when she is older as I did with my mum, until then I have a 7 year old who will ask me a question and then argue that my answer is wrong, regardless of what that answer is, slams doors, throws tantrums, screams her head off if anything is not going her way and gives her love in very some doses IF she thinks I am worthy of it (usually when she wants something). I am consoled by the fact that I have an independant daugther and a very loving 5 year old mummies boy who shows me enough love for the 2 of them for now, I describe my two as my daughter being the indifferent cat and my son the eager to please puppy! Your not alone x

Lynn from For Love or Funny 5 years ago

Oh, Jill! I bet that you will always be the first one your daughter calls when she’s older, whether it’s to share a success or cry over a failure.

annie 5 years ago

Oh yeah, i know that conversation. We have 3 daughters. They haven’t liked me best since there were tiny, sick and wanted their mom! Dad’s the fun guy. I mostly suck.

Jennifer 5 years ago

I think it is because they know we can take it. No matter what mommas are going to love their babies so they feel comfortable letting out some of those extra emotions on us. Sometimes? That sucks.

Krista 5 years ago

This is so going to be my life when my girl gets older. At 16 months, Daddy is already wrapped around her finger and clearly, he is her favorite parent. I’ll be the one she stomps up the stairs to get away from while he is the one she begs to hang out with. Ah… daddies& their daughters.
Is it different with your boys? Should I start hoping baby #2 is a boy even though it means I have to go buy a bunch of new stuff?

I’m So Fancy 5 years ago

Ha ha!!! I know the feeling. That’s why I try to make the Nanny Bad Cop! x

Brook @ To Be Dancing 5 years ago

I just have one little boy. I am the “meanest mommy ever!” But I still get the best hugs and snuggles. Daddy varies in his popularity depending on whether the boy’s astrological sign is in retrograde or whatever invisible reason of the day. I do get the “I hate you. You’re not my mommy!” Does that mean I don’t have to get up so damn early?

Rosie 5 years ago

Ahhh… my little Chloe is only 18 months old and she has her daddy wrapped around her little finger with absolutely no intention of letting him go! He loves every minute of it, spoiling her, doting on her, playing tea parties in her own little house, all of it!


I still feel like I’m winning the battle because she calls him “Mommy” too!!!

Mama Kat 5 years ago

Haha…oh man, you nailed that one!

BalancingMama (Julie) 5 years ago

Noooooo! I refuse to listen to this. My girl is 2 1/2 and I am the one who gets all the hugs and cuddles and hears “I love you, Mommy” nine times a day. My girl will never grow up enough to “hate” me! …right?

Justine 5 years ago

LOL. Yes, somehow I see this in my future too. I have a two-year-old girl and expecting another girl in four months. I can only imagine how the future is going to play out…

Karla 5 years ago

Love this post, it sums things up perfectly! :)

MamaBennie 5 years ago

2 year 10 month old and 10 month old daughters both treat me like I don’t exist once daddy walks through that door….yea awesome.

Megan (Best of Fates) 5 years ago

This is currently my favorite of your posts. They jostle around for position, so it shouldn’t get comfortable, but I’m currently quite loving it.

Christen 5 years ago

I can concur with this. My daughter has my husband wrapped around her tiny, one year old finger. He ended up buying her some stupid, expensive stuffed animal the other day because he couldn’t bear to take it away from her.

Crazy Lady 5 years ago

3 boys and 1 girl. So far I am the devil to them all. I think my boys even love their step-father more than me! (who has raised them without their bio-father around). Well, the baby boy always wants mom.. The other 3 are his…..

Anthony 5 years ago

Wow, can you please write a book? Your writing is getting outstanding.

Jana @ An Attitude Adjustment 5 years ago

You’re always good for a laugh, Scary Mommy. Great post. (And it’s good for me to know what I have in store.)

Lin 5 years ago

Aw…how cute! I know firsthand how much an only daughter, with 2 younger mama’s boy(s) little brothers, will look up to her dad.

I’m 28 & my dad can still do no wrong but my mom…well she still finds every way to p*ss me off, lol. Once a daddy’s girl, always a daddy’s girl.

Marjana 5 years ago

There is something special still in that “hatred.” I just finished reading a book called “The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of our Daughters”. I’m about to write a review on it on my blog. I highly.recommend it to anyone who has daughters.

Jen 5 years ago

So, so, so true. Could have been my house!

amy 5 years ago

AHHHH home. I have 2 girls and instead of “I hate you” I get eye rolling. I have so much respect for my mother,who is no longer with me, because she raised 5 girls and one boy and to top it off my brother is gay…so 6 girls.LOL

Rory 5 years ago

So true! My husband (who is stricter!!) can do no wrong! Me? I get told on a daily basis by my 9 year old that she hates me, either personally or via a note that she passes under her bedroom door. She once even wrote on the white board on her bedroom door how she had the best parents and drew a picture of me and my husband (after we got her something she had been wanting)…10 minutes later she went over to it, erased the “s” in parents and erased me!! IS she trying to tell me something…

Tracey 5 years ago

We have a saying in our house… “girls rule and boys drool.”. This keeps the loyalty lines established. My daughter doesn’t want to be considered on the drool team, so she is well aware of who to side with or suck up to for any given situation. I reinforce this behavior with constant team pep talks… For instance, when I walk by her, I put out my knuckles, say pound it, then ask “who drools??”
Once in a while, Jade will ask if her daddy can join the girls team if he’s been particularly nice, but she understands whose team she’s always on. He will then proceed to do something really annoying, and we”ll have a quick tete a tete and mutually decide to kick him off our team again.
It’s good to get that established early on… ; p

Erica 5 years ago

I am both Mom and Dad, so I get a combination of the two. Last night we arrived home fighting, there was a slammed door that nearly brought the paintings down. My daughter’s six. And I wasn’t the one slamming the door… this time. By bedtime she was loving me again and we snuggled in her bed and talked quietly and shared stories.

We truly are blessed, even through the heat and temper that comes with being a girl. And you know Lily only tells you she hates you because she loves you, right? :)

Dcsped 5 years ago

This sounds just like my home! Gotta love it!

angela 5 years ago

My daughter is (almost) three, and I can already relate. If I tell her no or impede on her fierce will in any way, I inevitably hear, “I want Daddddeeeeeee” amidst some tears. (future Oscar nominee, perhaps?)

The funny thing is, he is actually the stricter parent! Yet I am still the bad guy. I see epic battles in her teenage years…

chachamommy 5 years ago

Why in the world are daughters like that to their daddys? My daughter is almost 21 years old and still treats daddy like he’s her knight and shining armor, and me like I’m the wicked step mother trying to feed her a poisonous apple. LOL, but we have our good times too. We share stories and cry and text each other while the men in our life is oblivious to what we are saying about them :)
My daughters own little girl is turning out to be just like her mother, at 2 years old she’s telling her “I hate you” telling her step mother “you’re not my mommy!” hahahaha, I honestly don’t know how she is with her daddy and could literally care less (another story) but she and I make blanket tents and tell stories, we lie in bed on the weekends telling knock knock jokes (I’ll be glad when she gets a better vocabulary, the same knock knock joke is getting tiring), and fight like cats and dogs sometimes, she’s a pouter, loves to run to the stairway and pout, last weekend it was because Uncle Jacob went to Garretts and “took the cows with him!”

Suzanne 5 years ago

Oh the joys of daddy’s girl!!
My daughter is 18 months old. I picked her up out of her crib this morning at 6am. I smiled and hugged her and wished her good morning. She pointed at the door and shouted daddy. So i dumped her in the bed with hubby. Chopped liver, hello. On the other hand, my 4 yr old son is a total mama’s boy!!

JD 5 years ago

My hubby is jealous right now b/c our girls are so mommy-clingy. I keep telling him they will think I am weird and uncool and horrible in a few years and he will be a celebrity. He’s not buying what I’m selling. But I’ll show him! Er, the girls will show him. Whatever. You know what I mean. He grew up with boys – he has no idea…

Darcie 5 years ago

Ha-I was waiting for that last line. As the mother of a 21 yr old daughter, I have been there-actually, I am still there.

It took me till about age 25 to realize my mom was not the enemy, so we are getting close and I can’t freaking wait!

Raquel 5 years ago

Oh I can relate to that. My daughter, she’s 3, simply adores her dad so much so that she sometimes asks him to just lay his hand on her head so she can sleep and guess what he does and she’s out within 3 minutes??
I tried that, didn’t work. I love seeing her interact with her dad since I grew up without mine. So sweet.

Kate Coveny Hood 5 years ago

At age four, Eleanor hasn’t yet differentiated between the two of us in her I love you/I hate you bipolar disorder. Being home with her, I definitely get more of the “I hate you”…but I also get more of the “I love you” too. Any day now though…making the most of this time for now.

Erin I’m Gonna Kill Him 5 years ago

Ha, I didn’t see that last line coming. I was so caught up in Jeff and Lily’s love that I forgot to even think “wait, my daughter seems to think I suck.” And now I have two. Oy.

MY MIL has this Hallmark like expression – “My boys think I’m perfect. My girls know I’m not.”

Vicki Archer 5 years ago

My kids do that too and it kills me…whenever I yell at my 3 year old son he cries for Daddy, my 4 year old daughter is such a Daddys girl too…and then my oldest son, age 6, always acts out only when I’m there…everyone else says he’s such an angel…I am afraid of what is coming…the “I Hate Yous”…no one has said that yet…

Life with Kaishon 5 years ago

Oh my gosh. Sweetest post ever.
Kaishon hates me too.
Mothers and sons. : (

Jackie 5 years ago

Sounds like a day in our house! I’ll never figure out how I am the bad person….
Sadly, as the girls get older the dislike only seems to grow. I get dumber and they get smarter… funny how that works.

Jen 5 years ago

Oh, man I can SO relate.

TANYA 5 years ago

Mine still love me like I’m ice cream with sprinkles. I wonder what will happen with they get older and have no dad to turn to just me. :(

Jenifer 5 years ago

Yup. Sorry to say it doesn’t get any better. My daughter is now 13 and according to her, Dad walks on water & I’m Satan!!

Erin@MommyontheSpot 5 years ago

So it’s not just my daughter then. My husband works a lot of hours so when he’s home, he’s like a celebity. Mom? Mom who? *sigh*

myevil3yearold 5 years ago

My hubby is waiting for that to happen. Right now she tells him she doesn’t want to snuggle with him because he is too hairy.

katie 5 years ago


Lori Stefanac (Lola) 5 years ago

I love that you can make me cry then laugh within a single paragraph. Nothing like being bipolar in the morning! My boys are 7, 9, and 11. They tell me that I’m lame and annoying about a thousand times a day. When I realized that unless one of them is hurt or sick, I will no longer have any snuggle time, I went out and bought myself a puppy…a girl puppy. She thinks I’m lame and annoying too.

Jessica 5 years ago

Oh this is so true. I have one old enough to hate me and one still young enough to love me to pieces. At the moment I am in complete denial that the later will ever grow an attitude.


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