Dear Daughters, Why I Blog…

43 Comments

Eloise writes in her journal almost daily. Her thoughts are deeper than mine were at her age. I found my third grade diary and mainly found posts that said “Dear Dairy, Today we had peas again at lunch.” or “Dear Dairy, Scott Wellington likes me.” or “Dear Dairy, My brother is mean.” Yes, I spelled ‘diary’ wrong the whole year and how could I really share my deepest darkest secrets when I was writing to a dairy the whole time.

 

I don’t read Eloise’s journal and she doesn’t read my blog, but she did ask me the other day why I blog instead of just keeping a private journal like I used to do when I was young. I thought that was a great question because it’s true…just think of how private our diaries and journals were of our youth. They were locked up tight, we kept the keys around our necks for safe keeping and our precious locked words were then kept under pillows and deep in drawers that were in rooms with doors closed.

 

Now our words are out there for everyone to read. Our deepest, darkest thoughts, our personal feelings, and our daily doings. Open. It’s weird to think about my journaling that way. But I guess I don’t really share my deepest thoughts on my blog. Those are still locked away in my heart with my own private key and only I know where it’s hidden. My blog is not my diary. Or my dairy. My blog is just my blog.

 

And with any writing medium – sometimes you just need to put it down and walk away. I found months of blank pages in my childhood diaries. Yet I don’t want my children to come back to my blog one day and wonder why I was quiet sometimes. It’s not like life was not happening every minute of those days for us. It was just maybe because I got busy or the words wouldn’t come or I didn’t want to write the sad.

 

And I know that sometimes we just want to hit delete and walk away. It’s on these days that I need to get back to Eloise’s question…

 

Dear children, this is why I blog..

 

1. Because I want to remember when you were little. I will never take the time to print out photos or fill-out your baby books or make elaborate scrapbooks for you. So this, this is what you will have someday along with tens of thousands of pictures I’ve taken of you. You will find those on my hard-drives. Sorry.

 

2. Because sometimes I don’t have anyone to talk to you. No one tells you how lonely motherhood can be, but through writing I can communicate -even if it’s just to myself and feel like I’ve said something today even though no words were spoken.

 

3. Because there are amazing people out there that I can connect with on the Internets. We use our blogs and social media to form playgroups of our own and I’ve made lifelong friends.

 

4. Because I want you to know me as more than a mom. I’m not a great verbal storyteller and I don’t want you to wake-up in your 40′s and wonder what your mother was like. All you have to do is find me here and you will know who I was. There are so many questions I never asked my grandmother. I don’t want you to one day regret the questions that were never asked.

 

5. Because I want to remember stuff and if I don’t write it down I’m afraid that I will forget it immediately. Because it happened here right in this little life we are making. And it’s the little things, not the big things. We will remember your first steps, your prom and graduation. You will remember your first kiss and the first time you drove a car. I’m talking about times like last night when Esther was playing rock-paper-scissors with the cats…I want to remember that.(More on that in another post).

 

6. Because sometimes you don’t laugh at my jokes but maybe somebody else will find them funny. And maybe not. But it’s worth trying on a bigger audience.

 

7. Because I like to write. It feels good to do it and to read it, and it makes my mind happy. I don’t want an old and feeble mind that cannot put thoughts to paper one day. I want to write on the day I die. Whenever that might be.

 

Love you girls,

 

Mom

 

P.S. You might want to consider starting a blog. Trust me on this. There will be lots of my advice that you will not take, but this one…this one. I hope it sticks for you.

Comments

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  1. 3

    Observacious says

    I prefer to keep my memories of my children and messages to them private. I have a journal on my nightstand for each of my children, which is where I put those things. I occasionally blog about parenting in general, but I prefer to let my children create their own online personas. If they want those to include their potty training struggles and the funny ways they used to pronounce things that’s fine. That’s up to them. I know many others feel differently about their blogging. They probably don’t have degrees in information privacy. ;-)

    I agree with all of the things above, but most of them are why I write. A few also relate to why I blog. A few relate to why I use social networks. It is important to remember. It is important to connect with others. Some of us just prefer to do a lot of that off line.

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  2. 8

    just JENNIFER says

    Today I posted about what I love about social media, and I’ve posted several times about why I love blogging. I identify with everything you said, Tracy!

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  3. 11

    Kat says

    I cannot express to you how much I wish I had this medium when my two older children were small. Nor, do I know how you found the exact right words to express the feelings in my heart and give them voice. I can only assume that the feelings themselves are far more often Universal than even I previously thought.
    I thank you and one day your children will have a treasure that is priceless.
    Just think of all the stages still ahead….hehehe (Remember, 2 of my 3 are older, I survived but I kinda know a bit about what’s ahead. ;) Tie your knot and hang on….as Betty Davis said, “It’s gonna be a bumpy ride”…..I will just add to that…but worth it. :)

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  4. 13

    Marie says

    i love this! i also like to remember when my oldest was little. during his preteen years, i hung up a bunch of old baby photos in frames on the wall just to remind me why i used to like him. ;-)

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  5. 15

    Vickie Saenz-Brown says

    Great list. So wish that when my kids were your I had this option because many of my memories are gone now that the kids are grown and it would have been so wonderful to connect to so many awesome women.

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  6. 16

    Kristin Shaw (Two Cannoli)' says

    I love this, and someday, so will your kids! My “dairy” was filled with “I love boys! I love boys! My parents are soooooo ridiculous!” I hope my grown-up diary is more profound… :)

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  7. 19

    Momma Peters says

    I love this. I started blogging in November and it truly is a great outlet for feelings, stories that might otherwise become forgotten, and a way to commune with other women, moms, and dads, too! Great thoughts. Thanks for sharing!

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  8. 21

    Holly says

    Wow. Thanks for the gentle push to remind me that I’m not blogging enough. I’m not a great verbal storyteller either and hope my boys will someday read my blog and get to know their mother for more than just being their “mom.”

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    • 22

      tracy@sellabitmum says

      Exactly – whenever I take a break from blogging I just need to go back to why I started in the first place, and then the words just come so easily. xo

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  9. 23

    Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

    Thanks for writing this. I write about my twins, though I’m doing less of it now that they’re eight (and more of generic parenting humor). I did, however, dedicate my book to their future therapist(s)…

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  10. 25

    Mamaintheburbs says

    Your post speaks from your heart. I love it. I used to blog when I was going through IVF and trying to get preggers. I met a lot of women going through the same pain I was. Then I adopted and took my blog down. I now want to start another blog now that I’m a mom. I have so much to say to my daughter and want to reconnect with other moms. Twitter is fun but I def see the need to blog! Thanks for the inspiration!

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  11. 27

    Kristen Brakeman says

    So true! Funny sometimes I’ll tell the same joke to every member of the family until one of them tells me it’s just not funny. Doesn’t stop me from putting it on the blog though!

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  12. 29

    Rebeccah says

    Love it. So true…I’m hoping that between my Facebook pics and blog posts, my kids will be able to reconstruct their childhood when I’m old and feeble. Because, you know, I’ll be busy cutting the grass in my mu-mu with my eleventy-seven cats. ;-)

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  13. 34

    Col says

    I thought I was the only person who felt this way… Be it public or private, I think you may have just inspired me to start writing again and what better to write about then my beautifuL children.

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