Dear Giddy Over Summer Mother

96 Comments

summer1

 

You.

 

The one writing “5 more days til school is out!” with glee.

 

You and I can’t be friends anymore.

 

If you want to meet for a drink sometime, that’s okay. But I have to unfriend you from my friend list.

 

The excitement in your voice about doing the happy dance, getting to spend long days at the beach with your kids, taking day trips as a family and not having any schedules to adhere to… you’re killing me.

 

It’s been two hours since my kids have been out of school and already I’m reaching for the wine glass.

 

4:32PM

“Mommy. How long is a garden stick? Is it the same as this tape measure?”
“Mommy I’m going to clip this tape measure to my belt loop like this. See? Like this? You’re not looking… How can you say ‘I see’”?
“And Mommy, don’t tell Daddy when he comes home so I can surprise him”

 

Or when the kid is watching a show called “Dog with a Blog,” yet still manages time to glance over at what I’m doing.

 

4:35PM

“Mommy, why are you writing about me?”
“Mommy why did you write a question mark there?
“Mommy can you put more cereal in a bag for me?”
“Mommy I’m going to do my homework now. After I finish the cereal. Oh can I also have a drink?”
“Before you say something like ‘are your legs broken’ or ‘did you forget where the refrigerator is” it’s not funny. And I’m in the middle of my show! So can you pleEEzzzee get me a drink?”
“Mommy are you writing about me in your blog?”

 

Did I mention the kid calling me Mommy is almost eight? What was I thinking sending him to speech therapy at the age of two and a half because he wasn’t talking enough?

 

4:39PM

 

He glances over at his older (quiet) brother who is engrossed in his iPad (aka BEST BABYSITTER ever.)
“What’s the score? What app are you playing? Do you think Daddy can download that for me?”

 

Oldest now chimes in because youngest has decided to measure EVERYTHING in the house with the tape measure; including his brother.

 

“Stop! You’re being annoying!”

 

“Stop measuring my foot and my head.”

 

“Stop measuring Wilsey.”

 

“Stop!”

 

“I said STOP!!”

 

“Mommy”

 

“MOMMY!”

 

“Momm..yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!”

 

So, to those of you wanting your long, extended days of summer: Enjoy them.

 

I’ll never understand you but I’ll be sending you my eight year old so you can reach for the wine glass with me.

 

Me? I’ll be doing the happy dance come September.

Comments

  1. 1

    Dawn says

    I nearly peed myself laughing at this, because I can relate!!! My littlest guy isn’t in school yet…this is my every day with him!!! I cannot WAIT for him to go to school next year…even MORE than he can’t wait, lol!!!

  2. 4

    Anna Hettick says

    lol!! I can relate but I am sort of a both ways mom. I enjoy the days when we are out of the house doing things we don’t get to do in the school year, but the days when we are at home? I’m crazy by 9am….they get up at 8:30ish.

  3. 5

    Heather says

    hahahaha. YES!!!! I think I have heard the word Mommy in a consecutive row more times in the last 3 days than I have ever heard in my whole life! O.O

  4. 6

    Heather says

    You have no idea how happy this made me.. I’m not the only one. I’m counting the days until I drop mine off at my parents for a week… Then thank the good Lord for summer rec…
    Thank you for the laugh…

  5. 7

    Meagan McGovern says

    Why did you have kids if you can’t stand being around them? It’s like being married and hating your spouse. Your life sounds miserable if you have to drink to get through a couple of hours with the people who you love the most.
    I enjoy my kids — sure, they talk a lot. So what?

    • 8

      Heather says

      Thank you for saying this! I can’t imagine wishing my kids away. How sad it is that this mother finds the desire to learn annoying. If your child wants to measure everything in the house so what! Encourage it as they are learning something! What happens when this child happens to read this blog post one day? How will they feel when they see that you told the world how annoyed you are by them and want them to go away? Sure kids can get under your skin sometimes and a break can be a great thing but this mom sounds like a really selfish woman!

          • 11

            Heather says

            Why is everyone with the name “Heather” leaving the bad comments! It wasn’t me I promise!! It makes me think of that movie Heathers from the 80′s. Does anybody remember that movie or am I just old as fuck?…

            • 12

              Stephanie (www.whencrazymeetsexhaustion.com) says

              Ohmygoodness–I totally thought of the movie Heathers, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

              P.S. I’ve heard of this thing called choice. I think it’s, like, when we are able to decide between doing something and not doing something, like reading a website. Just throwin’ that out there…

          • 13

            dee says

            Jill smokler….. u rock! I have been fallowing your bkog for ever now. And judgy mommies… i am judging ur not so smart butts. Have you heard of sarcasm. I higgly doubt every day is like this for her and she taking her tales of raising her children. And making us “horrible” (NOT) moms laugh and feel not alone.

      • 14

        Heather says

        What is it with the “Heather’s” on this comment! I think mine is best! ;) only kidding….kind of like this post, it’s just a joke. A little humor to lighten your day. I’m confused though why you would even click on a blog title like this if you have a problem with it.

        • 15

          Heather says

          okay….I am obviously the problem with all the heather’s showing up because I keep commenting back to back! FRICK!!!

    • 16

      sharon says

      Ohmygosh, don’t be so judgmental. She obviously loves her kids and loves being around them. Kids are exhausting and demanding and phenomenal and independent and incredibly needy. If all we ever do is talk about how amazing our lives are, we are full of crap. Sometimes we are exhausted and frustrated and sometimes life is mundane. Let’s laugh about those times, too!

      I am a teacher and the only way I can survive the spring is knowing that I will get to spend the summer with my own kids instead of with your kids. And my summers are phenomenal and exhausting and frustrating and beautiful. Bring me some wine. :)

    • 18

      Meppie says

      WOW. How did you women even find this blog? It’s humor. It’s sarcastic. It’s facetious. It’s true.

      How truly blessed you must be to have infinite patience, it has obviously taken the place of your sense of humor.

      She writes things ~most~ women think. (key word: most. that means “not all”)

      I would think that when her kids read her blog they will laugh, because through her they will have achieved a greater sense of themselves.

    • 20

      Heather says

      Well sometimes you marry the spouse cause he knocked you up with the unintended child. but hey good for you for living the dream!!!! *rollseyes*

      • 22

        SouthernButterfly says

        Let me guess, you’re one of those “Natural mothers” who was already in her pre pregnancy jeans when she left the hospital and does the pure organic/pinterest crap/my kid is my whole word thing? Well Some of us, have a life and interests outside of our children. My son is almost nine and I love him with all of my heart, he is happy, healthy, and well adjusted, but that doesn’t mean that by the end of the summer i’m not ready for him to go back to school.

        We need time to ourselves, we don’t stop being the women we were pre kid once the kid gets here. Our lives may change, but our wants, needs, dreams, and goals are still there. It makes you a good mother when you PURSUE those things. When your kids are old enough to look back what do you think they’re going to remember and respect you for? “Wow, my mom made this awesome popsicles.” or “Wow! My mom got her degree with 2 toddlers and an elementary aged kid in the house!” My bet is on the latter and then they too, will reach for the hopes, dreams, and goals they wish to achieve because their MOM was strong enough to pursue her own while still giving them what they needed.

    • 23

      Jen says

      Something I’ve come to realize in the last few years with my three (and only three) is that while we love our kids and wouldn’t trade em for the world, we don’t always love being moms, and for those that say well if you don’t love being a mom, then don’t have kids. That case we don’t always choose motherhood, motherhood chooses us, and like it or not we somehow make it work. After all, we live to fight another day. :).

    • 24

      Jane says

      Please clear something up for me-if you so clearly disagree with this sentiment WHY did you read it? The authors intention and opinion was pretty clear (to me) from the title.
      This is a serious question-I would love to understand!

  6. 28

    Kristen Cat says

    I’m sorry Meagan, but if you love being around your kids so goddamn much why are you reading this blog and being such an unsupportive biotch? My biggest issue with motherhood is women like you!

    • 29

      Jennifer says

      Well said!!! I think people who just come around and leave comments like that really have a bigger issue with themselves…

    • 32

      deneen says

      AMEN!! if you’ve lost your funny bone, this is NOT the place for you! maybe Scarymommy should ask for an xray of everyones funnybone before admission is granted! oh, and for the record, my kids are still in school and i dread the end of week1 of summer vacay … i guarantee the B word will be played i will lose my shit! (Boredom, thats the word btw)

  7. 33

    Lawry says

    Kiddo starts Kindergarten Aug 21st I have already begun the countdown!!! Love it!! And to those whom lack a funny bone STFU….and tell me how you feel after 14 rainy days cooped up with an Energizer Bunny of a 5 yr old!!!!

  8. 34

    Michelle says

    This is how I feel on Saturdays, my one day alone with my kids. ONE DAY. How do you guys do it all day every day is beyond my comprehension. Serious kudos (and a huge glass of wine) go to you!

    • 35

      Laurie says

      Ditto. I love daycare. I’ve often thought to myself, “I’m a great mom-because I have daycare! My props also to the SAHM’s out there!

  9. 37

    Helen says

    You sure she wasn’t a teacher? Yes? Then you’re right, she’s nuts. I can’t wait for mine to START school!

  10. 38

    Amanda Martin says

    Not sure what is funnier, the post or some of the kill-joy comments. I can love my kids and my husband and still wish them elsewhere from time to time. That’s healthy, right? Besides, I suspect no one would have kids if they had any idea how much they would come to hate hearing the word Mummy for the 674th time in a day… I’m dreading when mine start school in September because my current childcare runs 51 weeks of the year, not 38!

  11. 41

    lisa says

    Oh, good grief!! I am, at this point, so ecxited for school to be over….all of the ridiculous end of the year parties, b-ball games, poetry readings, picnics, etc ! Enough already!!!!! Sleep late!
    The flip-side, I have to entertain my kids for 10 weeks. In my neighborhood that is not easy.
    If you love to spend every minute with your kids, good for you, but don’t judge those of us that would like an hour or 2 to read in SILENCE or not have to flipping referee every 5 minutes. We can’t all be perfect like you.,

  12. 42

    Meagan McGovern says

    There are a lot of funny mom writers — The Blogess and Scary Mommy are two of them — who write about kids and how hard they are, and they do it well, and with a sense of humor. You feel like they love their kids, enjoy them most days, and still need a break. Because, you know, motherhood is tough. This post? There’s not a trace of warmth or affection toward her kids. Nowhere that says, “I’m looking to a few days this summer,” or even anything that says she likes her kids at all.
    Some people can pull off posts like this, and it’s funny and touching and yeah, we all get that we need a break from kids. I have a kid with autism, and I homeschool. I write *all the time* about how overwhelming it is, and yeah, about wine.
    But this post? Sorry, I found it mean. Two hours in, she’s miserable and can’t wait for summer to be over. She doesn’t sound like she likes her kids and needs a break. She sounds like she hates her kids and doesn’t want to be around them.
    Does that mean that I’m a “biotch” and “without a sense of humor?”
    Nah. It just means that I didn’t find *this* post funny. Just sad.
    And that’s OK. I like Scary Mommy. I like *funny* blog posts about motherhood and the shared ordeal we all go through. And I’m allowed to disagree with some of you, aren’t I?

    • 43

      Suzanne says

      I think the problem was with your delivery. If you had just said “yeah, not with you on this one. Not funny”, I don’t think there would have been any issue. But, geez, implying she hates her kids and has to get drunk to get through life? She’s venting. I read this and said to myself “oh, thank goodness, I’m right there”. I adore my kids, but, for heaven’s sake, hearing the word Mommy over and over and over and having to break up fights over and over and over and explaining that no, it’s not lunchtime or snacktime or any other eating time over and over and over…well, I start looking for the wine pretty quickly too.

      • 44

        jane says

        I agree with Suzanne. I love the Scary Mommy site and find quite a bit of humor in mosts of the posts. This one about summer was the FIRST time I actually thought, “I feel sorry for this woman’s kids.” I really do. The other posts recently — right there with ya.

    • 46

      Meppie says

      Okay, okay – we agree to disagree and after reading this, I get your side. Sticking to mine as well. =) I guess I have been reading this blog enough to think “she is writing in the moment.” If I didn’t keep that in mind, I would probably be on your side of the fence. We could share some wine while we critiqued her amongst ourselves. Hope you like cab or pinot noir, ’cause that’s all I have.

      Also – I didn’t pay attention to the fact that this was not written by our beloved SM… it was someone else. And not knowing that someone else, or her daily trials and tribulations, I can again see where you would have gotten your steam from.

      Promise not to skim the titles anymore…

      One – this wasn’t written by Scary Mommy.

      • 47

        Meppie says

        Well hell – where is the fricking edit button when you need it. Please disregard the “One – this wasn’t written by Scary Mommy” I haven’t had my quota of summers day vodka yet.

    • 48

      Christina says

      Meagan,
      You are allowed to disagree, however, you choose the right to display it in a very rude fashion. Doing that, I’m sure you knew you would be getting negative comebacks, which is why you checked here again to see if there was reply’s, which indeed there were. I think you take things far to literal. For instance, I’m sure that “2 hours in” is a bit of sarcasm, and if it is not, then who are you to judge? You think your comment on how mothers like this don’t love their children, she is going to wake up tomorrow and change her blog to “Motherhood, the beautiful wonderful amazing experience that is me”… probably not. Say what you will, like I said, you have the absolute right to be as rude as you would like, as much as it is not appretiated.

    • 49

      Alison says

      Fair enough Meagan. You didn’t like this post. Then don’t comment. Just move on. I spend A LOT of time with my kids (and I have moments I like and dislike about that), and I tend not to like or agree with posts like this one. What did I do? I moved on. I read and clicked away without commenting.

      You could have too. Just my opinion. Feel free to disagree.

  13. 50

    Mama and the City says

    Ha! My kid is not even 3 and I already reach for the wine after 45 min on the weekends :-)

    • 51

      Carmen says

      I keep telling my husband we need to move (we’re expats, moving often, but currently in a place with only public schools) by the time our daughter is ready for school, because I need a British international school, as I want a superior educational experience for our daughter. It’s a load of BS, to be honest, because British children start school at 4 and I want to be able to have a break a year earlier!

  14. 52

    Ariana says

    I remember looking forward to summer when my kids were little, it meant no more schedules, finding “the other shoe” at 7:30 am so they could be at school by 8:00. No more last minute assignments, no more homework I’d have to force them into doing, no more finding out about homework that wasn’t done till 2 days later. I loved the end of school. I worked, my husband stayed home with them. My life actually got easier. Their dad would tell a very different story though. Good post, liked it!

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