Dear Giddy Over Summer Mother

96 Comments

summer1

You.

The one writing “5 more days til school is out!” with glee.

You and I can’t be friends anymore.

If you want to meet for a drink sometime, that’s okay. But I have to unfriend you from my friend list.

The excitement in your voice about doing the happy dance, getting to spend long days at the beach with your kids, taking day trips as a family and not having any schedules to adhere to… you’re killing me.

It’s been two hours since my kids have been out of school and already I’m reaching for the wine glass.

4:32PM

“Mommy. How long is a garden stick? Is it the same as this tape measure?”
“Mommy I’m going to clip this tape measure to my belt loop like this. See? Like this? You’re not looking… How can you say ‘I see'”?
“And Mommy, don’t tell Daddy when he comes home so I can surprise him”

Or when the kid is watching a show called “Dog with a Blog,” yet still manages time to glance over at what I’m doing.

4:35PM

“Mommy, why are you writing about me?”
“Mommy why did you write a question mark there?
“Mommy can you put more cereal in a bag for me?”
“Mommy I’m going to do my homework now. After I finish the cereal. Oh can I also have a drink?”
“Before you say something like ‘are your legs broken’ or ‘did you forget where the refrigerator is” it’s not funny. And I’m in the middle of my show! So can you pleEEzzzee get me a drink?”
“Mommy are you writing about me in your blog?”

Did I mention the kid calling me Mommy is almost eight? What was I thinking sending him to speech therapy at the age of two and a half because he wasn’t talking enough?

4:39PM

He glances over at his older (quiet) brother who is engrossed in his iPad (aka BEST BABYSITTER ever.)
“What’s the score? What app are you playing? Do you think Daddy can download that for me?”

Oldest now chimes in because youngest has decided to measure EVERYTHING in the house with the tape measure; including his brother.

“Stop! You’re being annoying!”

“Stop measuring my foot and my head.”

“Stop measuring Wilsey.”

“Stop!”

“I said STOP!!”

“Mommy”

“MOMMY!”

“Momm..yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!”

So, to those of you wanting your long, extended days of summer: Enjoy them.

I’ll never understand you but I’ll be sending you my eight year old so you can reach for the wine glass with me.

Me? I’ll be doing the happy dance come September.

Comments

The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 1

    Dawn says

    I nearly peed myself laughing at this, because I can relate!!! My littlest guy isn’t in school yet…this is my every day with him!!! I cannot WAIT for him to go to school next year…even MORE than he can’t wait, lol!!!

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  2. 4

    Anna Hettick says

    lol!! I can relate but I am sort of a both ways mom. I enjoy the days when we are out of the house doing things we don’t get to do in the school year, but the days when we are at home? I’m crazy by 9am….they get up at 8:30ish.

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  3. 6

    Heather says

    You have no idea how happy this made me.. I’m not the only one. I’m counting the days until I drop mine off at my parents for a week… Then thank the good Lord for summer rec…
    Thank you for the laugh…

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  4. 7

    Meagan McGovern says

    Why did you have kids if you can’t stand being around them? It’s like being married and hating your spouse. Your life sounds miserable if you have to drink to get through a couple of hours with the people who you love the most.
    I enjoy my kids — sure, they talk a lot. So what?

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    • 8

      Heather says

      Thank you for saying this! I can’t imagine wishing my kids away. How sad it is that this mother finds the desire to learn annoying. If your child wants to measure everything in the house so what! Encourage it as they are learning something! What happens when this child happens to read this blog post one day? How will they feel when they see that you told the world how annoyed you are by them and want them to go away? Sure kids can get under your skin sometimes and a break can be a great thing but this mom sounds like a really selfish woman!

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          • 11

            Heather says

            Why is everyone with the name “Heather” leaving the bad comments! It wasn’t me I promise!! It makes me think of that movie Heathers from the 80’s. Does anybody remember that movie or am I just old as fuck?…

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          • 12

            Stephanie (www.whencrazymeetsexhaustion.com) says

            Ohmygoodness–I totally thought of the movie Heathers, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            P.S. I’ve heard of this thing called choice. I think it’s, like, when we are able to decide between doing something and not doing something, like reading a website. Just throwin’ that out there…

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          • 13

            dee says

            Jill smokler….. u rock! I have been fallowing your bkog for ever now. And judgy mommies… i am judging ur not so smart butts. Have you heard of sarcasm. I higgly doubt every day is like this for her and she taking her tales of raising her children. And making us “horrible” (NOT) moms laugh and feel not alone.

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      • 14

        Heather says

        What is it with the “Heather’s” on this comment! I think mine is best! ;) only kidding….kind of like this post, it’s just a joke. A little humor to lighten your day. I’m confused though why you would even click on a blog title like this if you have a problem with it.

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    • 16

      sharon says

      Ohmygosh, don’t be so judgmental. She obviously loves her kids and loves being around them. Kids are exhausting and demanding and phenomenal and independent and incredibly needy. If all we ever do is talk about how amazing our lives are, we are full of crap. Sometimes we are exhausted and frustrated and sometimes life is mundane. Let’s laugh about those times, too!

      I am a teacher and the only way I can survive the spring is knowing that I will get to spend the summer with my own kids instead of with your kids. And my summers are phenomenal and exhausting and frustrating and beautiful. Bring me some wine. :)

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    • 18

      Meppie says

      WOW. How did you women even find this blog? It’s humor. It’s sarcastic. It’s facetious. It’s true.

      How truly blessed you must be to have infinite patience, it has obviously taken the place of your sense of humor.

      She writes things ~most~ women think. (key word: most. that means “not all”)

      I would think that when her kids read her blog they will laugh, because through her they will have achieved a greater sense of themselves.

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      • 22

        SouthernButterfly says

        Let me guess, you’re one of those “Natural mothers” who was already in her pre pregnancy jeans when she left the hospital and does the pure organic/pinterest crap/my kid is my whole word thing? Well Some of us, have a life and interests outside of our children. My son is almost nine and I love him with all of my heart, he is happy, healthy, and well adjusted, but that doesn’t mean that by the end of the summer i’m not ready for him to go back to school.

        We need time to ourselves, we don’t stop being the women we were pre kid once the kid gets here. Our lives may change, but our wants, needs, dreams, and goals are still there. It makes you a good mother when you PURSUE those things. When your kids are old enough to look back what do you think they’re going to remember and respect you for? “Wow, my mom made this awesome popsicles.” or “Wow! My mom got her degree with 2 toddlers and an elementary aged kid in the house!” My bet is on the latter and then they too, will reach for the hopes, dreams, and goals they wish to achieve because their MOM was strong enough to pursue her own while still giving them what they needed.

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    • 23

      Jen says

      Something I’ve come to realize in the last few years with my three (and only three) is that while we love our kids and wouldn’t trade em for the world, we don’t always love being moms, and for those that say well if you don’t love being a mom, then don’t have kids. That case we don’t always choose motherhood, motherhood chooses us, and like it or not we somehow make it work. After all, we live to fight another day. :).

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    • 24

      Jane says

      Please clear something up for me-if you so clearly disagree with this sentiment WHY did you read it? The authors intention and opinion was pretty clear (to me) from the title.
      This is a serious question-I would love to understand!

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  5. 28

    Kristen Cat says

    I’m sorry Meagan, but if you love being around your kids so goddamn much why are you reading this blog and being such an unsupportive biotch? My biggest issue with motherhood is women like you!

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