Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website…

109 Comments

It goes without saying that I, along with my contributors, love our children with all of our hearts.

We beam with pride over their accomplishments and weep with grief over their heartbreaks. We want nothing more in life than for them to be happy, and are changed women because of them.

There are thousands of websites where you can read beautiful and poignant posts about that love day after day after day. Occasionally, you can even find them here. But more often that not? We need to vent about the other stuff. The not so beautiful parts of motherhood.

Calling another mother selfish, questioning her love and devotion for her children or referring to her post as garbage might be acceptable on other sites, but it’s not here.

Congratulations for wanting to spend the entire summer with your children. That is wonderful for you, but that doesn’t mean we all should be giddy about the prospect of three months with ours.

There isn’t one way to mother. Very little in life is one size fits all, black and white. We all, whether you admit it or not, have moments we aren’t proud of, and the last thing we need to is be judged for them.

Not here.

Comments

The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 1

    Ilikebeerandbabies.com says

    As my father in law always says: that is why they make cars in different colors. Same applies to motherhood. Be nice or be quiet. Like us moms need one more reason to doubt ourselves.

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  2. 6

    Michelle Villemaire says

    The only reason I’m not complaining about spending summer with my kids is because A CAMP DAY IS LONGER THAN A SCHOOL DAY! Woo-hoo!!!

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  3. 9

    Roe says

    THANK YOU!! Completely agree and have thought this many times as I read the mean-spirited, judgey comments some leave here. So glad you said this…again.

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  4. 12

    Heather says

    WTH??? It’s not judgy to unfriend chipper moms that love spring break but it is so judgmental and insuting to you when someone says, “hey I’m glad it’s summer.” Personally I have a kindergartener that was in school with in walking distance in a mostly rainy climate for all of 2.5 hours a day so yeah I’m glad we get to stay in our jammies til whenever now. And I’m not looking forward to next year because I’ll have a preschooler across town the same time I have a first grader and we all have to get up at 7!!! And the next year after that I’ll have one getting out at 2:30 and one getting out at 3:30 my whole life is walking back and forth to the damn school. So yea for summer break!!!

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    • 13

      Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy says

      Yeah, see that’s the sarcastic part. I’m pretty sure she’s not REALLY ending friendships because of their excitement. But I hear you about the sleeping in – THAT I can relate to!

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    • 14

      Jen says

      OH MY GOD NOT 7AM!!!!!!! a lot of people, with or without children, have starts earlier than that! I would be grateful for a 7am wake up for sure. and at least you’re getting exercise walking :)

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      • 15

        Julie Bowen says

        I definately agree @Jen. My son’s internal clock is set to 6am and then it’s go, go, GO! If left to myself, I’d definately sleep later than that. We can be positive or negative about it, tired or not, and realize it’s a blessing to have a healthy child that can get up and go to school (or bounce tirelessly around the house and yard, hour after hour after hour), that we have the opportunity to send them to school, or care for them at home. Those aren’t choices everyone gets.

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    • 18

      Aimee says

      I agree with the person who said, “7 is early?” Here in Northern New England, MANY people are already at work by 7am. (I’m not one of them – I get to work closer to 8:30 – and I’m definitely NOT a morning person, but 7am isn’t THAT early. Even in the depths of winter, the sun is pretty much up by that hour ;-)

      If one of the kids is at a school within walking distance, the school board believes that child is capable of walking that without a parent. If there are intersections, there might even be crossing guards. Chances are you can kiss your little munchkin goodbye and send him/her off to school on their own. He/she might even enjoy the freedom/responsibility!

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      • 19

        Sandy says

        School Boards don’t always have much sense. My kids are in middle school, and walking distance is 1.5 miles. There are crossing guards around the school for one block.The administration reminds parents that kids should never walk to school alone (safety is key as there have been incidents of drivers trying to entice kids into their cars). It never occurs to them that those quaint yellow buses used to solve this problem. This would be irritating even in the most temperate of climes, but we live in the rugged midwest, and 1.5 miles in snow and ice is absurd.

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      • 24

        Marie says

        Wait til they’re all in school ALL day!! Its marvelous!! There’s a tradition my friend started. The first day of school is called “hallelujah” day. And mothers go out to breakfast to celebrate. Those mothers whose last child started school that day for the full day is honored as a true “hallelujah sister”!!!

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  5. 27

    Jennifer says

    Sometimes the truth hurts! Being a mom isn’t always a beautiful, amazing experience!! Especially when those pretty little babies turn into smelly, hairy, teenage boys!! Would I change it? Never! That is why I love this blog.. I can relate to so much! Do I have beautiful moments? Yes I do.. even now with almost grown men.. They join me for dinner, play a song they think I would like on the guitar, share funny videos on youtube.. But they forget to flush, don’t rinse their dishes, invite friends over at 2 am.. Have minor runs-ins with the law.. Drive me nuts most times, but hey.. no one ever said this job was glamorous! Keep doing what you do here! It makes me feel normal!!

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