Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website…

It goes without saying that I, along with my contributors, love our children with all of our hearts.

We beam with pride over their accomplishments and weep with grief over their heartbreaks. We want nothing more in life than for them to be happy, and are changed women because of them.

There are thousands of websites where you can read beautiful and poignant posts about that love day after day after day. Occasionally, you can even find them here. But more often that not? We need to vent about the other stuff. The not so beautiful parts of motherhood.

Calling another mother selfish, questioning her love and devotion for her children or referring to her post as garbage might be acceptable on other sites, but it’s not here.

Congratulations for wanting to spend the entire summer with your children. That is wonderful for you, but that doesn’t mean we all should be giddy about the prospect of three months with ours.

There isn’t one way to mother. Very little in life is one size fits all, black and white. We all, whether you admit it or not, have moments we aren’t proud of, and the last thing we need to is be judged for them.

Not here.

About the writer


What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill Smokler’s stay-at-home days with her children, quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Welcome to Scary Mommy!


Outsmarted Mommy 3 years ago

Amen to that! I love my kids…like big time love but if I don’t joke about the utter chaos that our day brings I may actually lose my mind. My 4yo just got up to tell me his pillow is hot and he needs me to put ice in it for him to go to sleep and my 2yo just requested 502 things to bring into his crib with him so he can go night night with company. It’s not all peaches & cream people some days are more like horse shit with a side of cow manure but I’m pretty sure most of us wouldn’t trade it for anything. Let’s make each other laugh mama’s not judge each other for who loves their kids more. :)

Amy Dietrich Hernandez 3 years ago

I cry on the last day of school and I cry on the first day of school and many days in between. I’m a crier. I love my kids and I am grateful that I get to spend the summer with them, but I sometimes (every day) wish I could just fly off to Greece. And every summer, I picture how great it’s going to be, sleeping late, going to movies on rainy days and swimming on sunny ones; and every summer, we spend much more time combating boredom (theirs) and arguing over how many hours they can sit glued to screens. Sigh. My boys are 16, 14 and 13 and I wonder how many more summers we will have all together (tears!) and I just wish there were more “Hallmark” moments than X-box moments. Good luck, Moms!

Diona 3 years ago

For real! If I wanted to read comments from judgy moms I’d go over to “”

“Mooooom, mom, mom” 3 years ago

I love summer vacation with the kids. *I* get to make the schedule, or not, as we all feel like on any particular day. Life becomes so much more relaxed and enjoyable when we all get to decide what happens. But the best part of summer vacation of all—NO HOMEWORK TO HELP WITH OR KEEP TRACK OF!!!!! I absolutely HATE homework now that I’m the mom!! So here’s to summer, even if for a wrong reason or two. 😉

Crystal 3 years ago

Well said!!

Allison 3 years ago

Summer vacation makes me want to cry. 5yo & 3yo boys fight all the time. 3yo absolutely refuses to potty train. I get so angry at the fighting and then cry because I feel so guilty that I spent all day yelling at them. It’s a vicious cycle. I need to be given the gift of patience, but I just can’t seem to find any.

Courtney 3 years ago

I am also guilty of loving a little me time. I’m a shitty wife and cook, but I’m a good mom, despite the fact that I am not distraught when I send my boys to day care and leave them there until regular time even when I get off work early. I put up with enough crap about my mothering and homemaking skills from my husband; I don’t need to feel judged on this site. Thank you Scary Mommy.

Colleen 3 years ago

KUDOS Jill!!! I had to laugh when I read your original post about awaiting the onset of summer vacation for the many opportunities it affords you to bond with your children all dressed in white with no stains as they eat chocolate ice cream cones…sorry keep having those dreams of how we can all envision motherhood as told thru those sappy, perfect mother, perfect children sites. I had the same feelings as you when my older three were younger (they are now college grads and on their own, Except they do not seem to realize they do not live here any longer…) Nowadays I rejoice in the end of the school year as it indicates a break from physically dragging my 15 yo son from bed at 5:50 am to make a 6:30 am school bus, then play chauffeur to him and whatever latch key children he has availed of my services even those who live 1/2 hour in the opposite direction from home, and then the fact finding mission as to whether or not his homework was done in school or he is his usual lazy self. Summer allows my health to recover so please do not hate me when you here my exuberant cheering for the next week or so…

amber 3 years ago

Btw I want to go back in time &punch the mommy who made birthday parties a giant pain in the ass&started goodie bags that cost more than the shitty gift brought,I pretty sure it’s the same skinny blonde surgically enhanced mommy…..

amber 3 years ago

I LOVE scary mommy!!! I am far too snarky to hang out w these mommies who want to spend all summer making homemade playdoh&macaroni necklaces. That is why im in NO mommy groups!!!

rebecca at thisfineday 3 years ago

Nicely said! I love your site- It’s great comic relief and it’s so real sometimes and feels so good to hear someone else say something that you were soooooooo thinking but couldn’t shout out at preschool pick-up (because of the shunning that may follow). :-)

Anastasia 3 years ago

When my daughter was younger, I cried on the last day of preschool. I begged and tried to bribe her teachers to keep her for three hours everyday over the summer! Didn’t mean I didn’t love her. :)

Jennifer 3 years ago

Well said Jill. You ROCK!!!

Barbara 3 years ago

Whether you are a mother or not, being overly judgmental is an unpleasant behavior no matter how you analyze it since, after all, we’re being judgmental by labeling someone as judgmental.
All of us (hopefully) use judgment yet when it’s aimed at debasing or tearing down others is when it’s malicious.

Those that want to rant and criticize others are simply yelling out for attention and deep down their message beyond their words to me is, “I hate myself. I feel powerless. I want you to feel like me.”

Jill, we all love you and took the time to comment here because of that. Those that took the time to malign you are simply sharing with you an email address to send spam to…

melanie 3 years ago

Oh well done on the honesty. I certainly can’t believe there isn’t one other mother out there who loves every single moment of motherhood without wishing she could lash out or sit down and cry. I find to many mothers are so insecure of their own mothering style they prefer to pick another mothers style apart. Let’s be a little more secure mom and admit we at times also want to throw a tempertantrum and maybe we even do.

Karie 3 years ago

Amen sister! While I have enjoyed being a stay at home mom… It has not all been picnics, sunshine and roses! I am glad when I read some of the posts and see I’m not the only mother out there who thinks the same things I do. Instead of being looked down upon for not painting this fabulous family picture of perfection.

dlt 3 years ago

When I was pregnant with my 19 year old son I took a cosmo quiz (I could still afford to buy them since I hadn’t become a mom yet) that would tell you what kind of tv mom you would be. I was a Roseanne. I have been proud of that since. I would be even prouder to be scary mom type. No one parents the same. And we need to relearn what tolerance and acceptance means in our society. What is right for one is not necessarily right for another.

Paula 3 years ago

Right on! I say go suck a lemon Judgy McJudgerson! It must be nice to be perfect. I love my son with all my being, but there are times that I just need some alone time. It makes life good for all of us. Trust me on this.

Shelly 3 years ago

Perfect response, Jill! XOXO!

Stephanie ( 3 years ago

Get’em, Jill!!!!!!!!!!!

MomChalant 3 years ago

I love you! Me and many other moms come to this site to complain, brag, make friends, find people in similar situations, and hear the stories of others. And that’s exactly why I love this website you created. I can read a sappy story, complain about my insane toddler, and then get some advice in the forums. Radiate positivity! You have a lot of positivity on this website you created.

Anita@ Losing Austin 3 years ago

Oh, and the people I unfriend? All the people counting down the days because they’re off for the summer. I know teaching is tough – but so is my job and the job of everyone else I know- I’d kill for two months off!

Adrienne 3 years ago

Amen! Motherhood has peaks and valleys. It’s when we’re in the the valley that we need our tribe most. Because that’s we’re honest mothering and friendships are made.

Anita@ Losing Austin 3 years ago

I’ve had 36 hours of three year old on me constantly because he’s sick and I love the cuddling but the whining is driving me insane. And I know I shouldn’t get annoyed with sicko with high fever. But I do.

But I also think summer is the greatest thing ever- I’m a FT working mom and hubs is home- so summer means only getting me ready! And no yelling to get homework done! And less traffic on my commute! Ah, I love it.

I’ll be honest and say that I struggle with not enjoying every moment enough- having a brother missing for six years, I know my mom would give anything to have any moments back with him (and so would I, just not the same as a mom).

Nan 3 years ago

I love you Scary Mommy! And I hope you know it :)

I’m kinda looking forward to the summer, and mostly adore my boys. But I have to admit I’ve just sharpied a message in the bottom of the kitchen sink that says “WASH IT NOW!!!”

Teenagers, meh.

Carissa Houston 3 years ago

Evidently judging is a two way street here. Support does not equal agreement. We can support one another as people and moms and disagree, even fundamentally disagree. I home school my kids so every day is summer and I am excited for summer because all of the other activities STOP and we can just swim. I am aware that I have a temperament that allows me to spend oodles of time with my kids without losing my mind, and I am aware that most people do not share that temperament. I’m cool with that. So don’t unfriend me, mmkay?

    mo 3 years ago

    I didn’t see any judging of ‘Giddy Over Summer Mother’–nobody suggesting she was smothering her children, for example, or that she’d only had them to serve as a proxy for her own happiness, or some such. Just a joking remark that she’d been unfriended because the overload of glee was just too much for the other mother.

    That’s a far cry from ‘Why did you even have kids if you hate them so much?’

Trish 3 years ago

Heck my beautiful daughters are 14 & 16, I don’t have toddlers anymore, just a lot of estrogen in my house! I still love this page because I can still relate to so much of your wisdom. I remember when they were much smaller, but still encounter some of the same things even with teenagers, but to differing circumstances and degrees. Keep doing what you’re doing, People take things too seriously these days.

…And for the record, at this point I’m already counting down the days til 14 graduates and I can move to the Bahamas and change my name! Lol

Gina 3 years ago

I like summer time. I enjoy staying up late, sleeping in, no schedule…etc. Don’t get me wrong, he gets on my nerves but everybody gets on my nerves. I actually dread Kindergarten.

Sue – The Spin Cycle 3 years ago

Sticks and stones. It’s a shame that people – especially mothers – find it necessary to throw them.

tanstaafl2 3 years ago

Dear humorless mother who condemns those who dare poke fun at the nirvana that is motherhood,

Lighten up – you act like admitting kids are not total joys is akin to farting in the middle of a church sermon (done that!) Sorry that most of the rest of the world must seem vile blasphemers in your eyes, but folks do need a wee little break from their own demon-spawn every once in a while.

By the way, we men (YES – I am a man. MORE sacrilege in your eyes!) live in absolute terror of ending up married to a woman who takes motherhood THAT friggin seriously. Men unfortunate enough to end up married to the Uber-Mommy work late at the office not because they have to, but because they WANT to. Can you guess WHY they prefer work to home?

jeri 3 years ago

Sweet! I so love your blog!

Gigi 3 years ago

I love my children with all my heart so it came as such a shock that I don’t love parenting with all my heart 100% of the time. Then I discovered this site and felt a lot better about it.

Some of us come online to seek validation for feeling like less then perfect parents. Others go on to seek validation that they are perfect parents. I guess these are the ones that clash with Scary Mommy.

DFree 3 years ago

Yeah bitches!!!!!!

meggie owen-maissin 3 years ago

Hear hear, when I had my first child I was the kind of mother who would brag about his bowel movements, since the second baby came along I spend much of my time trying to think of ways to escape them for an hour or how many drinks I can fit in to my next night out. I love them with all my heart and soul but miss being able to use the bathroom and have showers alone.

Vanessa 3 years ago

Mother’s need places like this. Places where we can admit we don’t always like our children. I know I’ve had more fantasies about running away from home as a mother, than I ever had as a teen. Being able to share some of our worst parenting moments and see that other parents often feel the same is a blessing, one I’m so glad you’ve given to parents in the trenches.

grownandflown 3 years ago

Well done, Jill. Scary Mommy is yours and I’m glad you reestablished your sensibility over your very own site. Wish there were more of you in the internet doing more calling out.

Cheryl 3 years ago

That perfection persona, even if they actually don’t buy it themselves. I know this bc I was one. I had to give myself permission to be a human. And realize all other mothers were doing the same. If someone is judgy, it doesn’t matter, I’m not THEIR mother.

Cheryl 3 years ago

The judgy moms are the ones who feel the most pressure. They use criticism of others to protect them from criticism. They need constant reassurance they are doing everything right. In all reality they are jealous they can’t let go like other moms. They can’t loose

Jane 3 years ago

What I don’t get is WHY ARE THEY ON THE SITE? I will never understand why ppl who don’t agree with a page read it?! If you don’t like teachers, why ‘like’ and follow one that supports them? If you don’t like gay people, why ‘like’ a page dedicated to same sex relationships? If you don’t like making light of what can be an amazing but also intense job, DON’T FOLLOW SCARY MOMMY!!!! I just don’t get it!
So glad you’re not afraid to call it like it is. I don’t get or agree with what’s posted on the page 100% of the time, but when I don’t, I shut the hell up. I agree-be nice or be quiet!

Michelle 3 years ago

I so see this even on sites like facebook. There is always someone who feels like a better parent because they can criticize you. I get the biggest kick out of some moms posts here. It often makes my day when the other parts are shit storms… thanks for having the courage to post your feelings accurately.

Fran 3 years ago

Don’t some people get that this is a humor web site? Ya gotta read it that way or what’s the point. The title “Scary Mommy” should be a tip off. I teach preschoolers every day and greatly appreciate the humor here. :-)

Michael Lombardi 3 years ago

Let’s also remember that disagreeing and dissenting opinion should always be allowed. What shouldn’t be tolerated is disagreement or dissenting opinion followed by “that’s why I’m better than you” type comments.

I wouldn’t want to be with anybody 24/7. Even my wife, who is the only one >I< chose, gives me time to watch a movie or read on my own. Sometimes 30 minutes a day sometimes 3 hours every 3 months.

So if you don't want to be with your kids all 14 hours they're awake. That is ok. But I'd argue if you don't want to be with them for a quarter of that, you probably shouldn't have kids. That's not a judgement. And I certainly don't think they should be taken away, but they deserve better. And how much is up to you.

Disagree. Disagree with reasons. But. Disagree respectfully.

    Emily 3 years ago

    You know what, Michael? I can get behind that. I don’t completely agree with your opinion, but I respect that you are trying to be respectful about it. I think most of us don’t mind dissenting opinions, except that they usually come in the form of, “You’re stupid! I feel sorry for your kids! You shouldn’t be a parent!”, and the like. I think differing opinions are great… they open the door to discussion, and through discussion comes broadening our own perspectives. The problem is that, this is a dying art. Most people are only able to point fingers and place blame, and when you’re anonymous behind a computer screen, that is just too easy to do. It’s really a very sad thing that we can’t treat each other with dignity and respect anymore. :(

another scary mommy 3 years ago

Some people would not know sarcasm if it slapped them in the face. Just keep doing what you do….xoxoxo

Lindsey 3 years ago

Thank goodness for sites like this that remind us all, in a very humorous way, that this parenting gig has its imperfections. We aren’t all being judged all the time, like we secretly fear, but instead have a large, thriving community of like-minded parents who share our joy but also feel our pain. This is definitely not the place to do your judging… save it for when you see me bribing my kid with bad candy in the supermarket.

Leslie 3 years ago

Hi. My Name is Leslie and I am a Scary Mom.
It has been almost thirteen years since my last “I–really-have-a-handle-on-this-mothering-stuff” thought. My sons have been an integral part of my ongoing recovery from Knowing Any Of The Answers.
Thanks, Boys!

Jane 3 years ago

The one thing you’re not supposed to say as a single mom who shares custody is that you like it that way. You’re supposed to weep into your cereal every time your kids go to their dads and then bitch about what a crap father/ human being he is. But honestly I LOVE my life. I have the best of both worlds – the amazing experience of raising my daughter and some of the freedom of a non-parent. I know I’m extremely lucky that my ex is not a major douchebag and I try not to take it for granted. For every moment that is hard and I think ‘man I wish someone was here to lend a hand’ there are equally as many moments when I’m glad I can do things exactly my way and not care what someone else thinks. I didn’t plan to be a single mom but I’m actually a better mom for having every second week off. I cram my off weeks so full of non-parent stuff that by the time my kid comes home I’m looking forward to a night at home on the couch watching movies with her. I am not a traditional mom I do things my way and an better for it. You have to find what works for you and your kids.

    Michael Lombardi 3 years ago

    Hell, who wouldn’t want kids but not 100% of the time? I don’t expect you to cry when they’re gone, I just hope you won’t rub it in my face when you have less responsibility. Or for the love of god, offer to watch my kids one night so the wife and I can go someplace nice for dinner and maybe play a little in a deserted parking lot without having to spend $50+ for a babysitter.

Becky Ryan- Willis 3 years ago

I have to be honest-as much as I love babies, and toddlers, I love my kids now so much at almost 17 (girl), 19 (boy) and 22 (boy)… I did my time when they were little and bickered and disagreed-less than most people’s kids probably. Also I always looked forward to them being here in the summer. I am sure they got on my nerves when they were bored… but I always offered to find them something to do- usually not something they wanted to do… Now that they are older they each are having their own lives. My youngest graduated a year from this month and she is my last. Currently I have a 2 1/2 yr old grand-daughter-to- be living with us, with her Mom.. (my oldest son’s fiance)… and her little girl.. and boy is it a At 44 I couldn’t imagine going back to that age.. she is good but she is 2 1/2 and I have been watching her while her Mom works.. not easy when I work from home. Anyways I am not one to judge another. Some enjoy it, some don’t but that is their business-not mine as long as the child isn’t being abused and is taken care of-who am I to judge? I am not. I am glad I found your site!

Victoria KP 3 years ago


Marsha 3 years ago

You rock, Jill. I love that you jumped in there. I totally and wholeheartedly agree.

Amanda 3 years ago

Damn straight!! I love this site!!

Anna Barker 3 years ago

The truth is, you’re going to not like time with your kid(s) at one stage or another. It will either be when they’re babies because you don’t get any sleep, or when they’re toddlers and they can dart in seven different directions while throwing the mother of all tantrums. Perhaps it will be when they’re twelve and they know everything, or even better, when they’re sixteen and they think you are the dumbest b!+€# on the planet. Judgey mom? She just hasn’t gotten there yet. Let’s all wish her luck!

Jen 3 years ago

Something I’ve come to realize in the last few years with my three (and only three) is that while we love our kids and wouldn’t trade em for the world, we don’t always love being moms, and for those that say well if you don’t love being a mom, then don’t have kids. That case we don’t always choose motherhood, motherhood chooses us, and like it or not we somehow make it work. After all, we live to fight another day. :).

Katie 3 years ago

Amen! As my mother always says “if you dont have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”.

Kerri (TheMaven) 3 years ago

I’m terrified of this summer. God help me I am going to go batshit crazy. HALP!! HALP!!

Sabrina 3 years ago

Anyone that claims that they want to spend every single moment with their child is kidding themselves. At least when my daughter is in school I don’t feel guilty for not giving her 100% of my attention. Not only is she out of school now, but I just had a baby 2 weeks ago so she gets even less of my attention. Fortunately she’s old enough to understand, but it still upsets me. I don’t have enough money to send her to day camp or any activities and I absolutely do not have enough money to go on a vacation. I read the comment from the judgy mother and could only roll my eyes. Everyone’s circumstance is different and not everyone has time to be a Stepford wife.

Renie 3 years ago

A lot of times, I putter around other sites and find the same thing. And mostly it’s women who struggle with infertility that complain about the complaining about children.

I struggled with infertility for almost 7 years. I wanted nothing more than a child of my own. And when I was childless, I knew I was going to love my child so much more than these mothers I saw posting online, bitching about their children.

Then, one glorious day, fate decided that my battle with infertility was over, and that I would be graced with a beautiful son. Whom I love dearly, and I would rip the skin off of anyone who tried to hurt him. Shortly after my new found motherhood, it was then that I realized that it’s not all so glamorous.

I’m tired of changing shitty diapers, I’m tired of being woken up 3, sometimes 4 times a night for a bottle. I’m tired of basing my ability to clean my house on if my son is awake or not. I’m tired of not getting any sleep. Mostly, I miss sleep. More than anything. And it was then that it dawned on me that all mothers bitch about their kids. Do I love my son? You bet I do. Did my infertility suck? You bet it did! But it all boils down to motherhood is hard, and sometimes you just have to find a creative way to vent about it. In this case, it’s your blog. Kudos to you, I enjoy this blog now that I know what motherhood is all about!

Lisa 3 years ago

Way to go!!! You are saying what most of us are thinking! Hardest part of becoming a mother was so many mother telling me how wonderful it was I get to be home with my kiddos. My inside voice saying what is wrong with me it would be nice to pee by myself, sleep and have a few hours not anwesring a “Why” question. I have found more moms feel the we need a break to recharge and it doesn’t mean you don’t love or want your kiddos! Just means that you value not only your family but most important yourself!

Sarah 3 years ago

Thanks so much for yet again reminding all of us..its absolutely ok not to be perfect & this is our safe place to be just that..imperfect! Judgy moms, you have been warned! Your great, thanks for all you do!

Sarah M. 3 years ago

The mothers who are coming here, judging, being nasty or pointing fingers are the ones who need the reassurance. Just like in school, calling other people names or criticizing others makes THEM feel validated, makes them feel better.
If you think all things are perfect with your children are rainbows and butterflies, unicorns and glitter and running through flowery meadows wearing perfect white clothes….well then I want a dose of whatever it is you’re on. Please.
It’s called jokes, people. Laugh at life, stop judging anyone else.
AS my grandmother always used to say: “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say ANYTHING at all.”
You think that people would actually grow up when they hit adulthood, wouldn’t you? Guess not!

Robin 3 years ago

Amen!!! I judge and question myself enough.

Julie 3 years ago

Sometimes I despise the interwebs. Judgment is not okay.

Sara 3 years ago

YOU ARE MY HERO! It is good to know that I am never alone! Those nay sayers can go live in their “perfect” (perhaps delusional) world and I will stay right here in reality reading Scary Mommy 😉

S. Scheetz 3 years ago

Sing it, sister.

Andi 3 years ago

I feel so guilty because I do not have the temperament to raise young children. I have a “persistent” personality, which is a nice way of saying “stubborn”. I HATE to be interrupted, I like to finish what I start, and transitions are hard for me. This is the worst temperament to have in dealing with young children. I LOVE my children, but being at home with them when they are young is so so so difficult and I need places to vent or I will go insane. My eight year old is a dream now because he can occupy himself and I can tell him “I can help you in ten minutes when I finish with [fill in the blank]”. My 4 year old? No way. I get depressed at home with her because I can’t stand the constant interruptions and demands. I am a better parent to older kids, and I will enjoy my kids more when they are older. Dealing with youngsters is so difficult for me. To all you moms who LOVE being at home with your young kids and don’t go crazy: good for you! You have a different temperament from me. I am happy for you. But don’t judge me because I need to vent about being with my young ones. I teach college students. I am great with older kids. But I am hanging on by my fingernails, barely making it, until both my kids are older and I can have a more normal life that doesn’t make me crazy and depressed. ScaryMommies out there, you are helping me stay sane during these difficult times. I love you!

    Maria 3 years ago

    Being a mom is HARD!!!!!

      Beth Armstrong Leahy 3 years ago

      Hang in….it’s the same for a ton of us. I went on Prozac when my kids were little and it made a world of difference. I still take it and they are 23 and 27, married and moved away. :)

Keline 3 years ago

I totally agree. I have a 2yr old son, a 4mo old daughter, and expecting my 3rd in January. We never sleep in, I’m lucky to get their naps to overlap by 30min, and I’m still in the ‘all I want to do is sleep’ phase of pregnancy. I send my son to daycare when I can afford it, but my daughter is colicky so not even the grandparents will keep her. I’m having all my kids close together so they’ll all start school within 2yrs of each other & I can finally have some damn peace!

I love my kids & wouldn’t change my life for anything, but maybe we’d all be more equipped to deal with stuff like this if we were all supportive of each other. You make your own organic baby food? Great. You don’t give your child processed foods? Wonderful. But if my kid only wants hot dogs & chicken nuggets for lunch AND dinner? Damnit, at least he’s eating.

Danielle 3 years ago

As I sit here nursing my one week old baby and listen to my 5 year old and 13 year old argue about the kindle I think crap, 2 and 1/2 months???? There are so many positives and negatives to summer break. Good luck to all parents as they muddle through summer trying to figure it all out!

Casandera 3 years ago

I LOVE this page!! I totally relate to everything said on here. So that’s why I “liked” the page!! If you don’t like what’s said here than wth are you still doing here? It’s simple just dislike and move on and let the rest of us enjoy!!

    Sara 3 years ago

    I couldn’t agree more! Since having my kids all my “friends” disappeared because they didn’t have kids yet..all I really have is my mom…the mom who raised me and yelled at me and got annoyed by me and suddenly is a different person now that she’s a grandma! If I didn’t have this site to come to and vent sometimes I might just lose my mind!

Southern Angel 3 years ago

You tell em. I am so sick of the momma’s who act as if they never need a break to be an adult.. ummm if you have more than one child I can promise that didn’t happen while the other ones were in the room.. at least not watching and awake.. Seriously. Motherhood is hard enough we should not be stabbing each other to make ourselves feel better about the job we do.

Charlene White 3 years ago

Go, Scary Mommies!!! This place has saved my a$$ more than once in having a safe-nonjudgemental place to rant about problems, and BOY do I have a LOT of them!!! So, sista from another mista…take your judging self and don’t let the cyberdoor hit ya where the good Lord split ya! Loves and hugs!

Karen 3 years ago

Hyperbole: Exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.

Ease up on the mom who admits it’s hard and tries to find the humor in the situation. Hell, I refer to summers here as my time in captivity.

Amy 3 years ago

Thank you for this website. I was getting to the point where I started to question myself as a mother because I didn’t want to be with my children 24-7 while it seemed like other moms loved playing Chutes and Ladders 145 times in a row or became depressed when their children went off to school. We adopted our two children. I carry around guilt and feel like I am a horrible mom because we wanted children so badly, and here I am wishing I could just be away from them from time to time and wondering why I feel like I’m going insane. It is nice to read about others who struggle with the same things I do.

    Theresa 3 years ago

    I have the exact same feelings. Thank you so much for this website.

    Margaret 3 years ago

    I hear ya. This website provides me with so much reassurance that I’m a normal mom (and a decent one at that). When asked “how’s it going” about two months after having my first baby all I could reply was “I couldn’t love him more, and I can’t wait to get away from him. I am so conflicted…” It is so hard to find that balance between giving all of ourselves to our kids, and saving enough for ourselves to maintain sanity. So glad this website exists!!!

    Helen 3 years ago

    Amy, you are SO not alone. I was 46 when mine was born after (thankfully) only 2 rounds of IVF, so I get the guilt about not wanting to be around them 24/7/365. No you’re not horrible, no you’re not alone. Maybe we should start our own blog on just this subject?

    Kim 1 year ago

    I agree completely, I just found this website and it has lifted my spirits so much. I used to think I was well adjusted, til my son turned three. Its great to find that other moms have mental breakdowns on a semi regular basis too. Thank you for this site. It has made me feel normal, at least until my son wakes up again…

Jennifer 3 years ago

Sometimes the truth hurts! Being a mom isn’t always a beautiful, amazing experience!! Especially when those pretty little babies turn into smelly, hairy, teenage boys!! Would I change it? Never! That is why I love this blog.. I can relate to so much! Do I have beautiful moments? Yes I do.. even now with almost grown men.. They join me for dinner, play a song they think I would like on the guitar, share funny videos on youtube.. But they forget to flush, don’t rinse their dishes, invite friends over at 2 am.. Have minor runs-ins with the law.. Drive me nuts most times, but hey.. no one ever said this job was glamorous! Keep doing what you do here! It makes me feel normal!!

Suzanne 3 years ago

Hey, I’ve been looking forward to the fall and having one in kindergarden and one in preschool since March (when I signed up the little one :)

    Andrea (Lil-Kid-Things) 3 years ago

    Me too! First time I will have them both in preschool at the same time. 3 glorious hours a day for 3 days each week!

      Marie 3 years ago

      Wait til they’re all in school ALL day!! Its marvelous!! There’s a tradition my friend started. The first day of school is called “hallelujah” day. And mothers go out to breakfast to celebrate. Those mothers whose last child started school that day for the full day is honored as a true “hallelujah sister”!!!

        Kerri 3 years ago

        my full-time grandson goes to scool in fall of 2014. I am already counting down the days to freedom!

        Helen 3 years ago

        oh yes mam, I’ve missed dd NOT being in daycare a portion of the day and cannot wait for kindergarten to start.

        FTR, neither can she. Mommy is boring!

HouseTalkN 3 years ago

Yes, yes and yes. Thank you.

Heather 3 years ago

WTH??? It’s not judgy to unfriend chipper moms that love spring break but it is so judgmental and insuting to you when someone says, “hey I’m glad it’s summer.” Personally I have a kindergartener that was in school with in walking distance in a mostly rainy climate for all of 2.5 hours a day so yeah I’m glad we get to stay in our jammies til whenever now. And I’m not looking forward to next year because I’ll have a preschooler across town the same time I have a first grader and we all have to get up at 7!!! And the next year after that I’ll have one getting out at 2:30 and one getting out at 3:30 my whole life is walking back and forth to the damn school. So yea for summer break!!!

    Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy 3 years ago

    Yeah, see that’s the sarcastic part. I’m pretty sure she’s not REALLY ending friendships because of their excitement. But I hear you about the sleeping in – THAT I can relate to!

    Jen 3 years ago

    OH MY GOD NOT 7AM!!!!!!! a lot of people, with or without children, have starts earlier than that! I would be grateful for a 7am wake up for sure. and at least you’re getting exercise walking :)

      Julie Bowen 3 years ago

      I definately agree @Jen. My son’s internal clock is set to 6am and then it’s go, go, GO! If left to myself, I’d definately sleep later than that. We can be positive or negative about it, tired or not, and realize it’s a blessing to have a healthy child that can get up and go to school (or bounce tirelessly around the house and yard, hour after hour after hour), that we have the opportunity to send them to school, or care for them at home. Those aren’t choices everyone gets.

        Julie Bowen 3 years ago

        … not that I’m always awake enough to remember to be positive …

      Heather 3 years ago

      God blessed me with a 4 and 5 year old that WILL sleep til 9, I’d like the opportunity to enjoy it. Yea for summer is all i’m saying. lol

    Aimee 3 years ago

    I agree with the person who said, “7 is early?” Here in Northern New England, MANY people are already at work by 7am. (I’m not one of them – I get to work closer to 8:30 – and I’m definitely NOT a morning person, but 7am isn’t THAT early. Even in the depths of winter, the sun is pretty much up by that hour 😉

    If one of the kids is at a school within walking distance, the school board believes that child is capable of walking that without a parent. If there are intersections, there might even be crossing guards. Chances are you can kiss your little munchkin goodbye and send him/her off to school on their own. He/she might even enjoy the freedom/responsibility!

      Sandy 3 years ago

      School Boards don’t always have much sense. My kids are in middle school, and walking distance is 1.5 miles. There are crossing guards around the school for one block.The administration reminds parents that kids should never walk to school alone (safety is key as there have been incidents of drivers trying to entice kids into their cars). It never occurs to them that those quaint yellow buses used to solve this problem. This would be irritating even in the most temperate of climes, but we live in the rugged midwest, and 1.5 miles in snow and ice is absurd.

    Diona 3 years ago

    I totally love the sleeping in and staying up late….to drink more. LOL

Guerrilla Mom 3 years ago

Amen, sister.

Helen 3 years ago

We really need a <3 button on the blog page: we <3 you Jill Smokler for tellin' like it REALLY is!

Roe 3 years ago

THANK YOU!! Completely agree and have thought this many times as I read the mean-spirited, judgey comments some leave here. So glad you said this…again.

Michelle Villemaire 3 years ago

The only reason I’m not complaining about spending summer with my kids is because A CAMP DAY IS LONGER THAN A SCHOOL DAY! Woo-hoo!!!

    Maria 3 years ago

    Yes!!!! Agreed!!

    Jen 3 years ago

    HA love that

Ariana 3 years ago

Judgy, mean spirited bullcrap like that has no room on a website meant to make us laugh, think, and find support. 3 years ago

As my father in law always says: that is why they make cars in different colors. Same applies to motherhood. Be nice or be quiet. Like us moms need one more reason to doubt ourselves.

    Mumfirstdoctorsecond 3 years ago

    Love “be nice or be quiet” – going to adopt that :)

    T. Watson 3 years ago

    Awesome response

      tanstaafl2 3 years ago

      Useless trivia tidbit #1 Henry Ford is (in)famous for saying, “You can have a car in any color you want – as long as it’s black”

      Useless trivia tidbit #2 One of the biggest non-Ford carmakers got it’s start specifically to sell cars to consumers who DID want a car in a color other than black.


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