Dear Parent who Likes Snow Days,
I like you. I do. I just don’t understand you. You seem like a normal person and then a snow day is called and you are all smiles. I worry that you don’t understand how snow days work so I am going to explain them to you.
When school is cancelled, the kids stay home with you.
If your response to this information is still, “Yay!” I am going to assume one of the following:
1. You are being sarcastic.
2. You work outside the home.
3. You have a nanny.
4. You have better meds than I do.
5. The kids have tied you up and are answering for you.
There can be no other explanation. However, in order for us to understand each other, I will explain why my reaction is not “Yay!” but “F@#!”:
1. I do not want to be a short order cook.
2. I need to write and cannot write while people cry about broken bands in their Rainbow Looms.
3. I like to go to the bathroom by myself.
4. I feel guilty if I let my kids watch movies or play video games all day but – oh my god – all the talking.
5. I have to share my snacks.
So, I hope you can understand where I’m coming from and, if you can’t sympathize because you are busy making hot cocoa for your blanket fort, please…please…can I drop my kids off at your house? Just for the day. Unless school is cancelled again on Monday.