Death of the Perfect Yoga Pants

Forgive me for this emotional post, but I’m in an emotional mood.

I have the right to be.

I have just laid to rest something that has been with me for almost nine years. Something that has seen me through three pregnancies and three sleepless newborn phases. Something that has seen me gain and lose sixty pounds three times over and never once judged or mocked me. Something that brought me comfort on the coldest of days and understanding after the largest of Thanksgiving meals. A constant companion to me, always forgiving, kind and supportive.

Today, my favorite pair of black yoga pants died.

I’ve known, for quite some time, that this day was coming. Last year, the seams along the ankles slowly began coming apart. I ignored the frayed edges, not wanting to admit to myself what they really meant. When the crotch began to give out a few months ago, I resigned myself to only wearing them in comfort of my own home, or at the very most with an over-sized shirt at school pick up and drop off.

The end was coming, I could sense it.

Today, I realized that the fabric, once thick and opaque was almost transparent, it had become so thin. Between the disappearing crotch, the frayed ankles and the almost non existent fabric, my precious pants were dissolving before my very eyes. I knew it was time to gather the courage to say goodbye. Holding back tears, I buried them under peeled potato skins and old crumpled up band-aids in the kitchen trash, as not to be tempted to resurrect them like that thrown away chocolate cake I simply can’t resist. I know myself well.

Sure, you say, there will be other black yoga pants. In fact, there are other black yoga pants in my life, nine pairs of them, to be exact. But, there are none that flare out at the bottom just like that pair did. There are are none that are slimming in the hips and flatten out my belly, but are as comfortable as loose fitting flannel pajamas. There are none that lift my ass, just so and are thin enough to wear in the heat of summer. We had history, my pants and I, and there are none that even come close to comparing.

I’ll continue my never ending search for the perfect pair of black yoga pants, but I know it will be futile. That kind of love just doesn’t happen twice in a lifetime. Perhaps there was something magical about them, anyway. I’m not even sure where they came from to begin with, with their lack of label and seemingly sudden appearance in my dresser drawers. It must have been the universes’s gift to me: The perfect pair of black yoga pants. A gift, but all too brief. Perhaps it would have been better to never have known perfection like that at all.

My friends: Love your favorite pair of yoga pants. Treasure them. Appreciate them. Line dry them. Extend their life by never actually doing yoga in them.

You may not want to admit it, but they won’t be around forever.

It’s a lesson I learned the hard way.

About the writer


In addition to being the founder of all things Scary Mommy, Jill is also the New York Times bestselling author of Simon and Schuster’s Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

From Around the Web


Kristin 8 months ago

So sad! I’m about to go through this with my favorite skinny jeans. But I’m finding the courage to face it through your tragic loss.

Babette 10 months ago

I would love to know the brand of these magic pants! If others have favorites, I’d like to hear about those as well. Many thanks in advance.

Lisa 2 years ago

loving these storird! thoughht I was thr on;y one who ever felt this way about apair of pants – may I suggedt Land’s rnd? great fit and they last forever!

Brenda Dion 2 years ago

Loved this post! It is crazy how elusive the “perfect” pair of jeans, yoga pants and bathing suit is to find. They are like trusted friends while too many of my clothes become mortal enemies mocking me when I gain a few pounds! Thanks for a fun read!

Pea Kay 2 years ago

Oh, dear. *plays taps* I know your pain all too well. I think we all do. It will never be the same again, and you’ll always know.

MomChalant 2 years ago

I am in the process of the departure phase myself. My favorite pair of black yoga pants with a gray band are becoming more and more worn. Now that I started ACTUALLY doing yoga in them – they’re getting worse. They were by my side, literally, through my rough pregnancy and all the months after while I still had my baby weight.

Sad, sad day.

Darcie 2 years ago

I also have the most perfect pair of black yoga pants on life support. They have 3 little holes right in the butt, so I just wear black undies and wear them around the house. They have a pretty flower print around the waist… I know the end is coming for my LBYP. Thank you for showing me I am not alone.

HRHM 2 years ago

I have the same issue with my favorite t-shirts. WHY don’t manufacturers make the same basic stuff year after year after year. Whenever I find something I love, I try to buy 10 of them in each color, but it’s never enough! UGH

catina 2 years ago

I can imagine your pain. I will be making my yearly pilgrimage from Amsterdam to my hometown Walmart next month for yoga pants. So my closet has become a graveyard of pants of past!

Mama and the City 2 years ago

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Ahem. I once found the perfect yoga pants. I bought 10 of them right there! and in different lengths.

My mind is at ease knowing this.

Dianna 2 years ago

I morn your loss. I recently had to put a pair of mine to rest, theyuse to be grey but they were see through now and the last wash did them in unfortunatley.
BUT there is hope I found a company that has extremely comfy yoga like pants that look like dress pants and make my butt look good too, that I know own in MANY color and 2 colors of capri’s. I wear them to work constantly, they look like dress pants and feel like jammies!!! If I werent covered in hair every night(hair stylist) I would sleep in them too. Jockey Person to Person is where I got them at a friends home party, I liked them soooooo much I became a consultant just for the disounts and clearence prices!!!! They are called the Modern Bootleg and worth every cent. They dont shrink at all in the dryer(which is a problem for us tall people) and come in short, regular, and long lengths….. So if you are ever ready to try another pair these are awesome… 3 yrs and counting on my oldest pair and they still look like new!!!!

Elaine 2 years ago

Gap army green cargo pants–12 years of bliss ended just this year. I feel your pain.

Ariana 2 years ago

Condolences, you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

Roe 2 years ago

I am so sorry for your loss. Mine are a sweat/yoga hybrid type pair of pants. They are so old that the elastic around the waist has completely given up and there are holes at the knees. Somehow in a moment of carelessness I got bleach on them and they have discolored spots. Mine too seemed to have fallen from heaven (or perhaps from the many washings over the years??) as there is no trace of their place of origin. They have seen me through pregnancy, school drop offs and pick ups, supermarket runs, baby story marathons, fake sick days, and many closet-candy-smugglings. I will continue to treasure them for as long as they will hang around, but I fear the end is near : (

Emily 2 years ago

We all know the secret to mommy success is yoga pants, but now the boys know too! I hope this songs brightens your night and may it guide you on your search for a new perfect pair – NEVER give up!

Amanda 2 years ago

RIP black yoga pants. Jill, I feel your pain. *hugs*

Aimee 2 years ago

I had two pair of perfect yoga pants. I wore them for a year before I got pregnant for the third time….14 years after I had my 2nd child. The just-right flare at the ankles, not-too-low waist, perfect yoga pants. I was that my ass didn’t expand so much during my pregnancy as too make them impossible to wear. I wore them throughout my pregnancy, when I was actually wearing pants. (at home, at 7 and 8 months, in the dead of summer, I didn’t wear pants) I wore them throughout my 4th pregnancy (which occurred 5 months after the birth of my 3rd child). Sadly, not long after my son was born, I noticed that my beloved yoga pants were actually falling down. I had finally worn the elastic out. I just haven’t been able to bring myself to throw them out yet.

Paula 3 years ago

after just having a baby, i’ve spent the past ten months in yoga pants, and plan to spend the next three years in them, after trying on a pair of i’ve become an expert on the topic. i own a few pairs that are supposed to be black, but are now more of a charcoal grey and are slightly saggy after wearing them for a few hours, so i understand the feeling of loss and feel your pain. however, i’ve recently discovered GapFit. so far the best yoga pants i’ve owned!

Abbey 3 years ago

I have a dress that i wear all the time! it is black, thin, aging and i bought it from a garage sale five years ago! it has a hole in each arm pit, but the fabric is perfect, it doesn’t itch me or irritate me and it hangs perfectly, regardless of how much weight i gain or lose. it’s like the sisterhood of the traveling pants, i swear! a shot for your yoga pants and to everyone with that one article of clothing that can NEVER be replaced! haha :,(

Lees 3 years ago

It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. RIP.

Danielle 3 years ago

Ohhhh I dread this day. Hopefully you have found a suitable replacement.

Nicole 3 years ago

Reading this just brought up some tears for my long lost comfy pants. I bought them during my college internship and they stayed with me for 7 years. So comfy. So perfect. I should have did the hide-under-the-bandaids thing because I totally pulled them back out of the trash the first time. I tried buying another pair at the same store but it just wasn’t the same. Sniffle.
RIP Comfy Pants of all types.

DeAnna 3 years ago

Target has the best yoga pants. Flared, Black and Slimming. Get on em, girl.

Sharon 3 years ago

I’m just a little late to the party, but the Old Navy cropped yoga pants I bought last January are BETTER than no pants! And they still have them. And other choices too! Not the compression ones though. I wear mine at least 5 days a week. I wash them every other day. My Target yoga pants sub in on the off days…

T W 3 years ago

I completely understand your pain. It was thus 2 years ago when my perfect yoga’s were lost in a move. I will retreat to VS and Target on occasion to find another such pair.

JennaBee 3 years ago

I have a pair on its last legs (no pun) and as much as I love to wear it, I know that every instance, every bend, sit, and genuflexion quickens its demise. I’m also short, so finding a replacement (not that this can be ‘replaced’) is hard. So hard.

I feel your pain.

Mama Pants 3 years ago

I feel you. This happened to me in June with my two best friends, Purple Tank 1 and Purple Tank 2. It is never easy to say goodbye.

Elaine 3 years ago

I’m sorry that you didn’t have the forethought to buy like 5 pair. Same for me on the ones I left somewhere and have not been able to find for a few months now. I’m thinking I left them at my Mom’s house and she stole them. Just kidding. Kinda.

monkeymom 3 years ago

i had to retire a pair last month..i feel your pain. i think i got mine at kohls on im sure to never own another pair, sigh.


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