Drew Barrymore’s Statement About Divorce Is Refreshingly Honest – Scary Mommy

Drew Barrymore’s Statement About Divorce Is Refreshingly Honest

MALIBU, CA - JUNE 04: Actress Drew Barrymore (L) and art consultant Will Kopelman attend Chanel's benefit dinner for the Natural Resources Defense Council's Ocean Initiative at the home of Ron & Kelly Meyer on June 4, 2011 in Malibu, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)

Drew Barrymore and Will Kopelman release a statement a day after news breaks of their divorce

Day to day of living in the public eye must be hard enough, can you imagine having to endure something like divorce while in it? After news broke on Saturday of Drew Barrymore and husband Will Kopelman’s divorce, the couple released a statement — all about their family.

“Sadly our family is separating legally, although we do not feel this takes away from us being a family,” the pair told People. “Divorce might make one feel like a failure, but eventually you start to find grace in the idea that life goes on.”

The couple has been married for four years and have two children together — Olive, age three, and Frankie, age one.

Of course, people have opinions — they always do when it comes to divorce. “Marriage is a ride, if you hop off in the middle (or beginning for that matter!) you miss the real experience. So tired of people giving up so easily,” wrote one commenter. “What a shame. People don’t even try anymore,” wrote another. “Why did they bother having kids?” Why do people take other couple’s divorces so personally? Methinks they doth protest too much. There’s no trophy for enduring the most misery. If someone manages to get out of a relationship that’s not working for them, while still committed to raising children together — who are they hurting?

For anyone to act like they know the recipe for what makes the perfectly functional family is just ridiculous. My generation was overwhelmingly raised with both parents in the home, we aren’t any more functional than anyone else. We cannot completely forget ourselves in the quest of crafting the most pristine environment for our kids to grow up in. We don’t even know what that is. The couple that stays together “for the kids” will inevitably have kids who as adults wonder if they’re at fault for their parents misery. The couple that splits will have kids who feel hurt and rejected by that, too.

There’s no winning. And there’s comfort in that.

No matter what we do, our kids are going to be somehow negatively effected at some point. So let’s stop acting like when two people meet and make a family, they have to pass certain tests in order to be deemed “good parents.” The only thing they need to do is love, provide for, and nurture their children.

“Honestly, I don’t know how it is for other couples but really I like watching him be a father,” Barrymore told People in an interview several months before the split. “I know everyone says you’re supposed to put your coupledom first. But I really love it being all about the kids. Maybe that’s my compensating for not having parents myself or a childhood but right now, the focus is about how we’re figuring things out as parents.”

We all have issues from our childhood, and were all working those out as adults. Having children doesn’t automatically make all those things disappear. Nobody’s perfect — oh, except this commenter: “So many mothers say ‘my children come first so my divorce was to keep their lives healthy and free from stress.’ Wrong. You keep your couplehood a first priority and your children respect that in you as parents. Otherwise they just see you as broken and self centered.” LOL. Get a grip, lady.

We’re all broken. The sooner we realize that and give each other the room to make our mistakes, the better. No one loves these kids more than their parents — certainly not a bunch of anonymous haters on the internet.

“Our children are our universe, and we look forward to living the rest of our lives with them as the first priority.”