Fat Bottomed Girls

136 Comments

I love Glee. Don’t you?

I can look past Sam not returning this Fall and Mike Chan becoming a regular when I already thought he was one. I can even let go of the No-New-Episodes-Until-Fall debacle and say it out loud. And proud.

I love Glee.

In fact, our car is a Glee Only zone.

No more Raffi for this family. Nope. We’re all Firework. And Baby. And Thriller. And most days, I couldn’t be happier about this.

Except for this one morning.

We were singing our way to school {My first mistake} when I heard Chloe call, What song is this?

Fat Bottomed Girls. Kayli responded, ever informative.

I felt a twinge of discomfort. Lauren said the song hurt her feelings when Puck sang it to her. So what did that mean about me? And my kids? Were we mean? Cruel? Insensitive clods?

Crap. Insensitive clod is so not what I was going for.

I glanced back to check- Were my daughters suddenly mean girls chomping at the bit to tease someone about their fat bottom? Were they insecure about their own bottoms?

What about my two year old son? Was he on the verge of becoming a complete jerk? One of those guys who only goes for skinny girls? Ones without fat bottoms like his Mama?!

You’ll be happy to know that I sighed in relief- they were none of these things. What they were- was LOUD.

What did you say? Chloe asked.

Fat Bottomed Girls! Kayli said, her voice rising just a titch.

Oh! Fat Bottomed Girls! I love this one! Chloe responded, her joy palpable.

Me, too! Fat Bottomed Girls! Brody chimed in, smile wide, ready to belt out the prolific lyrics with his sisters.

I flushed a little at all of those fats and bottoms being thrown around. But oh well, at least it’s just us. I thought {My second mistake}.

We walked into Chloe’s preschool and smiled sweetly at the receptionist when she greeted each one of my children {aka: The Blowhorns} by name.

We were listening to Fat Bottomed Girls! Brody announced.

What? She asked -tentative, unsure, unaware- of the crazy that is my family.

Fat Bottomed Girls! Kayli and Chloe chimed in. Loudly. In unison. And with the happiest of nods.

It’s Chloe’s favorite. Kayli added. You know, for good measure.

It’s Glee music. I stammered, attempting to explain {My third mistake.}.

Yes! Brody yelled helpfully. Glee! Before he started singing, Fat Bottomed Girls you make the rockin world go round!

Right. Of course he did. What else do you do in a school lobby?

Fat Bottomed Girls you make the rockin world go round!

At which point I ushered Chloe into her classroom, rushed the other two out the door and into the safety of the van. Where I could listen to my offensive lyrics in privacy.

Exactly how they were meant to be enjoyed.

So hi, I’m Galit. Mama of three. Advocate for Glee. And Fat Bottomed Girls.

Comments

The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. 6

    Kelly says

    That is priceless!! Remember being kids & belting out tunes…only because you liked the music…but had no idea what you were really saying?! (many a Rod Stewart song come to mind!)

    So funny!

    Glad to see you here today!! :)

    Show Replies
    • 8

      Nicole DeZarn says

      That so true, I remember wondering why my mom cringed when I sang “physical” by Olivia Newton John, I thought it was about P.E. class. We won’t even get into Prince lyrics some of which must have been stored in the autopilot part of my brain because I still paid no attention to them as an adult until I started singing “Little Red Corvette” in front of my kids-oops!

      Show Replies
  2. 10

    Headacheslayer says

    OH MY GOD hysterical!!!

    I am a die-hard, 41yo GLEEK. I have almost every Glee album ever made and carry them on all road trips. I just bought Glee nailpolish from Sephora.

    And OH do I loves me some Fat Bottomed Girls. Cuz I have one.

    We went to see an amazing Queen tribute band and I got up and rocked my fat-bottomed self in the aisle during that song. It is awesome, it is liberating.

    Glee starts tomorrow doesn’t it? *Happy gleek sigh*

    Show Replies
  3. 14

    Odd Dad says

    We listen to Motorhead and Judas Priest in the car and at home. I try to keep the heavy metal accessible and keep the kids away from questionable lyrics, but my kids love to rock. I’ve got two future headbangers and I couldn’t be more proud.

    Of course, we still have regular kids music, too. We love They Might Be Giants and Mr. Eric, but when the oldest (5) shouts, “I want heavy rock!” I”m more than happy to oblige. Then the littlest one yells “Louder, please!” And we crank it up.

    We’ve gotten stares from other commuters from the loudness permeating our Honda Odyssey, but we don’t care. We’re loud and proud!

    It will be my embarrassing moment when that one song with the inappropriate lyrics gets played and then repeated in public. Luckily though, not too many of the bands we listen to sing about “fat bottom girls.” That’s just going too far.

    Show Replies
  4. 16

    Kir says

    I want to ride in your van. I ADORE Glee too, and the husband and twins love to watch too. We have the boys listen to whatever we are listening to in the car too and I love when Jacob will try to sing “Hey Soul Sister” it cracks me up every single time.

    loved, loved, this :)

    Show Replies
  5. 18

    Angie says

    When my little brother was in preschool (way back in the mid 80′s) he sang “All my rowdy friends are coming over tonight” by Hank Williams Jr. when it was his turn to sing his favorite song. My mom was mortified and I think she nearly killed my dad over that. Almost 30 years later and it still makes me laugh.

    But honestly, there’s only so much kiddie music that can be tolerated in the car. At least your kids will have good taste in music ;)

    Show Replies
  6. 20

    Greta Funk says

    That’s hysterical! I’ve been dealing with the kids-listening-to-inappropriate-music issue lately, so I’m glad I’m not alone!

    Of course, they would announce it to the school–you thought you were safe! Ha!

    Show Replies
  7. 22

    angela says

    Oh Galit…I will have to be careful with that volume. We have Volume 1 in the car all the time, and I just skip over Gives you Hell and My Life would Suck Without You. Ryan sometimes forgets, and little Miss Mind-Like-a-Trap starts singing them right away.

    Though I am more of a Flat Bottomed Girl, which isn’t so pretty.

    Show Replies
  8. 24

    Mrs. Jen B says

    Oh, innocence! Although the lyrics to FBG are far less offensive than much of what kids could hear on the radio/from friends today. Sad.

    At least it’s a good song! ;)

    Show Replies
  9. 26

    2ndCathcart says

    Rock on, Glee Fan! That’s awesome. If I heard preschool kids singing Queen, I’d immediately try to befriend their grown ups.

    A couple of years ago, I learned this lesson the hard way. After I buckled my tiny daughter in her car seat, she said “Mommy, play the ‘Oh, Sh&t song’”.

    Well. No more Fergie cd around her.

    Thanks for sharing! Hope to see you guest blogging here again soon, Galit. : )

    Show Replies
  10. 28

    Kim says

    Music can be a hard thing sometimes. You think that they may just be listening to the music and not paying so much attention to the words and then bam … you hear them sing “Tomorrow I’ll wake up, do some P90X. Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex.” … and you realize, hmmm, maybe not so much. Time to turn it off!

    Show Replies
  11. 30

    Ali says

    I’m a huge Gleek myself. It probably won’t surprise you that Fat Bottomed Girls is my absolute favorite Queen song. It’s fun. I don’t think it’s meant to be mean of course. Heck, it’s not like Freddie Mercury really liked skinny girls either *wink*. P.S. I sing a mean Bohemian Rhapsody.

    Show Replies
  12. 32

    Sharon says

    Fat Bottomed Girls is the ring tone on my phone! It’s not offensive, it’a an anthem. After all, we DO make the rockin’ world go round! And this has been an ongoing issue as long as there has been music…… 30 or so years ago, as we listened to Alice Cooper sing “I Never Cry” in the car, my 7 year old incarnation asked, “Mommy, what’s a virgin?”

    Show Replies
  13. 34

    Nicole DeZarn says

    Oh, this so could have been me and my four! In fact, it has been except you would substitute “Brickhouse” and add my little pixie of a daughter “dropping it low” in the office of the school. Ah yes, we are soooo special. And I have no idea who taught her to drop it low, she’s adopted, I blame genetics;)

    Show Replies
  14. 36

    Childless Commentator says

    I don’t have children, so it may be just me…but I don’t think you should have anything to worry about…especially with this song. When it was originally sung by Queen, it was meant to let all those “Fat Bottomed Girls” know that they were loved and prefered over all others. It’s this country today that has become overly-sensitive to everything and has made it verbotene to love a heavier girl.

    Now if you’re children start running around yelling out “More Cushion for the Pushin!”…then that’s more on the lines of when you need to worry! :-) But I say let them sing Fat Bottomed Girls loud and proud!! :-D

    Show Replies
  15. 38

    By Word of Mouth Musings says

    My 13 yr old thinks that all songs were just about created by Glee ;)

    Love that Queen erupts from her bedroom … and she thinks the Glee singers are better than Freddy … oh dear ….

    Show Replies
  16. 40

    CampWhimzzy says

    I think it’s GREAT! I have always played all kinds of music and we sing it loud and proud, even in the grocery store! I used to worry back when they were little about the lyrics, but now that they are older, especially the 17 and 15 year olds, they have FABULOUS taste in music. I’m constantly amazed at the music they’re streaming on their computers or tapping out from their iPods…my 15yo son has Frank Sinatra’s entire collection on his iPod, along with Daft Punk and Akon…keep singing it out with them!! You’re creating awesome musical minds! :-)

    Show Replies

Load More Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>