Keesha
Latest posts by Keesha (see all)
- The Mother’s Promise - January 16, 2013
- 10 Reasons Fathers CAN Be Referred to as Babysitters - January 12, 2013
Many women’s claws come out and they assume their ass-kickin’ Matrix stance when they hear some gal say her husband is babysitting.
BABYSITTING?!!!!
This man is a father – his children’s legal guardian for flip’s sake. He. Is. Not. Babysitting.
True dat. But a lot of the time, it feels like he might as well be.
Here’s why:
1. It’s a business arrangement. You might not have to stick some Jacksons in his waistband, but you’ll pay. Whether it’s a night out with the guys, keeping your yap shut when he ignores the dirty dishes (again!) or some major baum-chicka-wow-wow time, you owe him for his services.
2. You feel like you’re overindulging. Given the pay arrangement outlined above you’ve got to ask yourself, “Can I really afford this?
3. They are only fully employed when you aren’t there or are on your deathbed. Literally on your deathbed. If you are home and not lying in bed with several broken bones and oozing sores someone’s going to ask you to do something.
4. You leave a ton of instructions. You want to make their life easier by making sure they know the schedule, the rules, and things like So-and-so likes her hot-dogs peeled and cut into ½ inch think semicircles.
5. The fear factor. While you’re gone you envision everything from an army of first responders being dispatched to your doorstep to the kitchen floor carpeted in Doritos.
6. You lay down the law regarding TV, Internet and phone use. Because some people need reminding that watching a game or surfing the web for hours on end while the kids do God-knows-what is not the best childcare method.
7. Due to unfamiliarity with the house, you put things out where they can’t be missed. A box of diapers on the kitchen counter seems like overkill. But. . . if someone doesn’t know where you keep fresh tubes of toothpaste should you really leave such matters to chance?
8. Your kids will have a great time doing shit you’d never let them get away with. Goldfish and fruit snacks for dinner. Playing dress up with Mommy’s keep-your-grubby-hands-off new outfit. Going to bed two hours late on a school night. Yes. Yes. And (Dude it’s an effing school night?!) yes.
9. If they clean up and do some laundry you do a happy dance. You didn’t think this was in the job description, so, woo-hoo, this is going above and beyond expectation.
10. Somehow, even when things go not exactly as you’d have liked, everything is fine when you get home.
If you are one of those women whose husbands totally kill it in taking an equal if not greater share of the housework/childcare load, then shut the front door, and know we envy you.
Make your hubs give Daddy lessons to the rest of our dudes, who dance between being an extra child and a full-fledged partner.
So yeah, technically no father should be called the babysitter.
But if the title fits, go make him a t-shirt.
{ 125 comments… read them below or add one }
OMG, are you in my house? Seriously. This is why I don’t even bother leaving.
I hear ya, leaving can cause serious emotional angst can’t it? But I hope it all winds up like #10, doesn’t it? Fingers crossed!
Keesha Beckford recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
I wish i wasn’t in a position to have to treat my hubby like a child himself and ask for the simplest things like making sure the house doesn’t turn into a hurricane, or to try not to leave our daughter in front of the TV for hours on end. but i will admit he is learning.
LOL! Mine is a SAHD, so I’m lucky in this department. But this is COMPLETELY my brother in law!
Wow. This blog post makes me want to go give my husband a big hug. Seriously, if I was married to a guy like you describe above, I’d be divorced. I have no time to take care of a 3rd child.
Amber recently posted..Glass half full?
I was married to a guy like that. His 3rd wife just left him. Yeah, useless.
My now husband may not parent exactly as I do, but he is no better or worse. Did he do as much housekeeping as I would have when I had to be gone for two weeks? No, but he was doing his best to do his actual job from home in between caring for his son. And besides, in any given 2 weeks, there is plenty I might not have accomplished (she said, looking at the pile of unfolded laundry and the dark, depressingly still decorated Christmas tree piled up while husband has been gone almost 2 weeks)
Nilzed — you totally get where I’m coming from. My husband is a great dad, despite what folks may infer from this post. It’s just that I am super neurotic and he is more relaxed. Recognizing this stylistic difference (and being able to laugh at it) is a great thing! Thank you!
Keesha Beckford recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Keesha: Well I am not neurotic and if you have to ask a father of his own children to get them to bed on a school night? -well, I dont think that’s neurotic. And when you’re living it everyday, it isnt humorous. but the article is great – very entertaining and well done!
I’m with you, Amber… a man who “baby sits” his own children is not someone I’d care to spend the rest of my lift with.
Kate recently posted..22 Reasons To Never Give Up | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement
Yikes…I totally agree. If my husband was another kid, I’d be long gone.
You are so right! I hope no one meets all points, or at least 1-9, on this made-for-belly-laughs list!
Keesha Beckford recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Agreed. I just can’t find the humor in the whole “my husband hasn’t the first clue how to be a responsible parent” schtick. When I read things like, “If my husband watches the kids, I have to repay him with sex,” I feel like your husband has seriously misunderstood his responsibilities as a father and as a husband. This isn’t cute. It’s sad.
Right there with you Amber! If a father doesn’t know how to take care of his own kids….that’s really sad. Heck my husband could give complete tutorials on cloth diapers ;) If I could clone him…I’d be richer than Oprah ;)
TheHeadacheslayer recently posted..Cravebox–The Dog Box
This is soooo true!!!! It kills me when he’s on the phone with his buddy and says to him “No, cant do it, I have to babysit”. Ahhhhhhhh
The ol’ moms-in-charge-and-I-step-in-when-she’s-gone routine…A dance so many unfortunately know so well. Sigh.
Keesha Beckford recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
If my wife were this overbearing, lacked the confidence in my parenting ability, or thought it necessary to treat me like a child, we would have serious problems. I can’t believe there are still Dads out there that are this inept?
I so agree! This is why men and women get divorced.
Thanks for commenting. Some of it is genuine ineptitude, but some of the problem is the Controlfreakitis and IWD (Intense Worry Disease) that affects so many moms. That and two different styles of parenting — one more “relaxed” and one more “hands on” and there you have it…
Keesha Beckford recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Its was a good read from the fact that I was engaged immediately. I think I may have overreacted initially about it too. There are certainly enough parents out there who embody ineptitude and some who can go overboard too. Cheers.
My husband is pretty awesome. Through the week, he works. It’s ALL me whether I want it to be or not. On the weekends, he helps a ton (mainly because I am tired), but still manages to keep his “guy pants” on. I’ll catch him watching football or catching up on Hulu on the computer. I figured he works a lot and deserves some “me” time. Nobody is perfect, though. However, there are some dads out there who don’t do anything but ignore their kids by hanging on their phone all the time or off in another room 98% of the time. The only time these dads show their faces is when there is a hot meal presented to them on the table. That, to me, is ridiculous and a complete waste. Enjoy your children!!
Your very lucky! Although my husband isn’t like the second dads you described, he also doesn’t help much. Its kind of like I have to ask for help or he doesn’t do it.
And having to ask sucks, doesn’t it? And how many “talks” can you have? I hope you can get your message across, Shannon!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
I agree completely Andie. I know it can be a hard call between cutting your husband some slack over the weekend and feeling abandoned. Thank you for the great comment!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
lol this is too funny and also VERY true! When I was with my ex (my son’s father) I remember him asking his dad if he ever had to babysit him when he was little. His dad replied “Babysit?! Hello its your child, you aren’t babysitting them!” I try not to even bother leaving my 2 year old home with my husband, the last time I did, he fell asleep and when I got home and woke him up he asked me when I was leaving! In the mean time, my daughter had dumped baby powder all over the living room! And I was only gone an hour! Imagine how it would have been if I was gone longer than that?!
Lol. Tru dat. Thank you for the lost. Sharing this!
Thanks much, A of A!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Yes to ALL of this – they’re the most expensive, hard to schedule babysitters in town. Thanks for the laugh! I needed the entertainment, since I know I won’t be leaving the house any time soon. ;)
Hollow tree ventures recently posted..Weekly Wrap-Up?
Robyn, how bout a national Mom’s Night Out? Oh would I love to see that!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Hello, HTV… It is I, your “expensive, hard to schedule babysitter.”
Yep, this is my house. My husband is a great dad and certainly does more than previous generations did, but he go back and forth between being another child and an actual partner. That said, I get indignant when people refer to him “babysitting.” I correct them with, “No he’s taking care of his children.”
I totally agree Megan. It’s not babysitting – it just smells that way sometimes…
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
OMG!!! I just about died laughing.
Thanks for seeing the funny in this! Yay!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
It’s so true. I’m the “go to” person for almost everything and he’s the default. Maybe it’s because I’m home all day with them? And when he does watch them all day he struts around that night like he’s the shit and I’m one lucky lady. Whatever.
Kim recently posted..Free Advice Friday – Leaky bladder? I got you covered!
I hear ya! always feel just a tad guilty when he watches them all day – like I played hooky or something. What’s up with that?!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Keesha you killed it! Event hubs LOLed. #7 is our fave. My man doesn’t know where anything is in our house except the fridge and the TV. But he helps with laundry. Sharing this everywhere.
Ninja Mom recently posted..Children’s clothing: hidden danger or cover for nakedness?
Thanks so much, Nic! Love husbands who can laugh at themselves – they are GOLD!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
I wish this wasn’t true at my house, but sadly mostly is an exact description of the way things are (although my hubs would strongly deny it all if accused, so don’t tell him I said that, k?)! Thanks for making me chuckle!
Rebecca J recently posted..New Year’s Resolutions (Quickie Post)
Girl, my husband doesn’t know I wrote this, or I’d be in a hotel tonight.
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Keesha,
This was so funny and so true. My hubs works his butt off all week and does help with the kids on the weekends. BUT he still doesn’t know where anything is and he’s still the one who lets them break routines, stay up late and eat candy (Dad is great, he gives us the chocolate cake!). Regardless of what we call him, the husband is still a little bit a babysitter, no?
#s 1, 2, and 3. Yes, that.
Toulouse recently posted..Mommy, Will You Marry Me?
Toulouse: “Dad is great…gives us the chocolate cake” haha! You must be about my age cuz I about died when I read that! Yes, that’s my hubby too!
He’s a great dad with them, but yeah, they eat horribly and stay up way too late when he “babysits”.
Even my hubs is only 32 and he goes around singing that song (so clearly, he knows he’s like that too). Not sure how he knows it since he’s a BAYBAY but he does. Gotta love the Eddie Murphy from the old days.
Toulouse recently posted..Mommy, Will You Marry Me?
Dad is the fun parent…kills me everytime :-)
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
This is why I love you, Toulouse, because you totally get that a guy can be a great dad and still match up to this list point for point.
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Yes, this is exactly what it’s like at my house. It’s not that Hubs isn’t willing to take care of the kids but rather that I do it ALL DAY LONG. He does it for a few minutes at night while I pee alone or finish supper.
Plus both kids scream “Dad” & trample anyone or anything in their path when he comes home. lol
Nil17 recently posted..Traces of One Eye On The Sunrise: Nine Stones Close Comes Up Glowing
When I am going out, even my kids will say, “Is Daddy going to babysit us?” I say, “No, he is going to PARENT you.”
Oh, and the “Dad is great” thing is Bill Cosby, not Eddie Murphy.
Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..Happy Blogiversary to Me
I love that your kids ask that! That is too funny. Thanks for commenting, Kathy!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Dude,never get excited over them doing work! Then they think are not supposed to help ALL of the time. I respond with ‘oh,cool.thanks baby.’ not in an exited tone. I nipped this ‘babysitting’ behavior in the butt early.He cooks all the meals when he’s home-(he works 2nd shift @work) helps me clean when he IS home,and NEVER says the word babysitting.
Good advice, Crystal! That is something for the Mommy Survival Kit. Thank you for commenting!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
SO funny! My husband is great, but his thing is forgetting to feed the kids. Really?? You can’t remember that the kids need to eat 5x a day? So I clear the kitchen island and lay out a whole bunch of food and meal props as a not-so-gentle reminder. ;)
Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..Dating My Husband
The things they forget, right? Hello, schedule? There should be an app for that!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
This is so spot on that it’s scary! We have 7 children and I think it took me 4 kids for me not to be afraid the entire time I was gone. Without fail, he would always call at bedtime and ask where the binky was. Now that I have older children, he just asks them where stuff is. Usually someone will know! To my husband’s credit, he is totally willing to take them any time I need a night(or weekend) off!
That must be nice when the kids are less dependent and can do more for themselves. Even great Dads can give a mom a little anxiety – it goes with the territory!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
LOVE this…I have heard about one of those awesome daddy’s that is a full-fledged partner…what the heck happened in my house?
I hope you have family close by!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Um, yeah. Especially #1. When I walk back in the door, instant guilt trip. But if I hadn’t walked out the door in the first place, somebody probably wouldn’t have made it through another day. I need me some ME time.
Greta @gfunkified recently posted..Every Day I’m Shoveling
The whole diapers and toothpaste comment is so true!! My husband doesn’t know where anything is. Nothing. And he’s better now that the kids are older, but they always tell me when I come home, ‘dad didn’t feed us, he just gave us snacks.’
Frugalistablog recently posted..I’m guest posting In The Powder Room
I think we need to draw home supply diagrams. Sometimes I wish I could be the more relaxed parent, but then I shudder to think about how things would go down. #LifeInABarn
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
I am dying laughing, these are hysterical. A couple of Years ago I could have said that but now that the kids are older, 11, 6 & 5, it’s not even the same.
They actually love love when I leave the house they practically kick me out the door! But it also helps that he is partially retired & I’m a SAHM… So we do a lot together now :-)
Keesha, you are hilarious (as usual).
Thanks so much, Bethany! Thankfully people are finding this post FUNNY!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Once a week my hubby stays home with the kids while I work. Of course he spends most of the time watching t.v., but he does make sure the kids eat well and nap, even if they nap way too late. Once in a while he will even do the dishes. :)
Mercy recently posted..Our Trip to Mangalore
I’m glad I’m not married to whatever guy this post was describing.
You and me both.
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Ha! This post was hilarious but it also made me shake my head a bit. For you and your husband. Although you seem to balance each other very well. You need both yin and yang to make it work! I am blessed with an excellent stepfather for our children! No guilt, no paybacks, he knows where everything is because I am the messy one, and he always does housework. But I also don’t care about schedules unless the girls have ballet class. I do leave instructions sometimes though. This post was very funny though. Kudos!
To tell you the truth, this is not all about my husband. Some of it is about how I perceive things at home and some is based on conversations with other moms. My husband is fantastic with the kids and does help, but as I said to someone else, he is NOT the COO — that’s my role. I am a bit of a worrier and a control freak to put it mildly. We definitely balance each other out in many ways. Hubs does a lot of other things – the big major projects, for example, and if he weren’t in control of our finances we’d be living in a van down by the river, to quote the late Mr. Farley. Anyway, thanks so much for your thoughtful comment, and hope you’ll keep reading!
Keesha recently posted..10 Things About Me That Suck For My Partner
This is so how it goes down at our house. My husband will even tell me, “you know if you don’t leave it out, I’m not gonna find it, right?
Yeah, honey. I know.
Anna recently posted..World’s Best Homemade Hot Chocolate
I’m smiling big right now. Would love a nationwide poll on stuff like this…
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Good post! Next blog post suggestion: “10 Things About Me that Suck for My Partner.”
Thanks! No one is better at self-deprecation than I am. I am so on it!
Ha! Keesha, you nailed it. It’s very different house when Daddy is in charge. He’s a great dad, but let’s just say, “Let the good times roll!” And laundry being done? I fall over in glee.
Meredith recently posted..Where Do I Go From Here?
I understand a lot of women have ex-husbands just like this guy!
beta dad recently posted..Thousands of Kicks
Hi Beta Dad, unfortunately you are right. But to be fair, this isn’t one guy, it’s a composite of things I’ve heard as well as experienced. Also, I hope you see that some of it is poking fun at overzealous mommies (not that I know anything about that:-).
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
My husband gets a B+, maybe even an A-, in this department, so I was kinda surprised how much rang true for even me! Eek. Maybe I’m giving him too much credit! At least he’s a far cry from my own dad when I was a kid, who once left me sitting in a poopy diaper the entire time my mom was gone and could *not* figure out why I was screaming bloody murder…until my mom came home and showed him that my butt had become poop-burned and blistered! (Tough to sit through seventh-grade math the next day. Jk, jk, jk!)
Jenny recently posted..In Which There Is Waterboarding at the Momplex
But what a horrible story! My hubs really is great too, and a lot of this is true for him as well. This isn’t about a bad dad, (and it’s exaggerated for humor purposes obviously) but about extremely different approaches to everything domestic. Thanks for leaving a great comment!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
This is incredibly insulting to men. If we treat them like this, no wonder they act like children. My husband is a SAHD and a dang good one at that. And being the working mother, I don’t get instructions either when I am home. We are equal partners and manage the household together.
You win! I’m sending you a cookie right now!
HouseTalkN recently posted..You Say It’s My Birthday?
Thank you House TalkN. You rock.
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
These are the kinds of posts that make me realize I have an uphill battle. It’s frustrating to read this, but I know just how true it is. I’m surrounded by husbands and fathers that behave as if it takes one parent to raise a family… sorry dude, you can’t lead the family when you’re un-involved.
It’s this exact reason I’ll be launching my new site soon to ReWrite the image of Dads. There are many of us Dads out there that carry our fair share, and love to interact with our wife and children.
My wife is in the medical field and I look forward to her being on call. It’s my guaranteed one-on-one time with my kids. I get to be the example of the type of man I want my daughter to marry and the dad and husband I want my son to be.
Sadly, there’s a lot of truth to this post… too much truth.
Chad Miller recently posted..How I Got a Prescription for Sex (Almost)
We all know men like this – who are the laziest, most inept examples of fatherhood. We also know men, who really are great fathers, but are not the COO of the house. They are the fun, more relaxed, go with the flow parent. And I will admit, as a mom, I am far from perfect, but I can be a control freak and a worrywart. I hope that came across too. Thank you for your thoughtful post, and I wish you the best in your quest to rewrite the image of dads and to be a great dad for your children.
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Way.
I’ve been thinking about breaking up with this site for a while…too self-congratulatory, WAAAY to much repeat-tweeting the same freaking link 12 times…but this is the straw.
Cait said almost exactly what I wanted to: “This is incredibly insulting to men. If we treat them like this, no wonder they act like children. My husband is a SAHD and a dang good one at that. And being the working mother, I don’t get instructions either when I am home. We are equal partners and manage the household together.”
My husband isn’t a SAHD, and I’m not a SAHM. We both work full-time and parent full-time and take care of the household together, as equals. He can make dinner, enforce rules, do chores, and find things. Amazing! Do you really think your husband is incapable of finding the diapers??? Talk about enabling behavior.
Sorry, SM, this did me in. Officially unfollowing on Twitter and taking you out of my feed. I hope you get back to your basics someday — those were awesome. This new sh*t is not.
She didn’t write it. It’s a guest writer.
The basics? Some of the first posts I wrote poked fun at my husband. This is hardly something new and it’s hardly meant to get people all high and mighty. Lighten up, please, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
Thank you, Scary Mommy for having your guest bloggers’ backs. Fantastic!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Funniest list I’ve read in a while and anyone who finds this list insulting towards their husbands/men has absolutely no sense of humor and that insults me, but you won’t see me stalking off in a ridiculous, childish huff. It’s a joke. It’s meant to make you chuckle, not get indignant and high and mighty.
Jen at PIWTPITT.com recently posted..Weekly Wrap Up 1.12.12
Amen, sister! Up on a soapbox is an inane place to read mom blogs.
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Yes, unfortunately this is true for me too. But it’s completely my issue, not his. I realize my son would be fine if I didn’t micromanage, but I can’t stop… As a teenager and college student, during the super-PC 1990s, my young feminist self would give lectures about the gendered division of household labor, etc. But, now, whatever. I don’t care if I’m oppressed by patriarchy; chances are, I’m pretty sure that I can do [anything child-related] better.
I hear you, from one micromanaging college class of ’93 woman to another.
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
My kids are grown now, but I remember those days. Coming home to find my 4 month old lying on his chest, both of them asleep was a cute picture until later that night, trying to get that 4 month old to sleep after her 5 hour nap. And don’t forget the inevitable question, “when will you be home?” Then, later, when you get home, “I didn’t think you would be gone that long”.
My husband genuinely does co-parent and does his share of the household chores, but I wanted to share what it was like when we were renovating our house. My husband did a ton of the work, so he was exhausted all the time, which meant I rarely got a break from the (infant and toddler) kids. Every once in a while he would take them, but his way of “playing” with them was to lie in the middle of the floor with his eyes closed and expect them to entertain themselves in his general vicinity. When we had A Talk about why the kids tended to misbehave when he did this, he was actually surprised! To be fair, he was really, really, really tired.
It is always a navigation process between giving the partner who does other work besides childcare a break and giving yourself a break because he’s around. I struggle with this too.
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Yep. There are coworkers who think I have two kids. SWORE I did in fact. I don’t. Just one preschooler and one that acts like a teenager, on his good days.
Hysterical and so true. My Hubs is an awesome guy and father. But I still basically feel this way when he’s with the kids w/out me!
JD Bailey @ Honest Mom recently posted..Enough with the homework. I want my kid to play and be a kid.
Ditto for me, JD! I stopped with the instructions though because I would become late for wherever I had to go, and as I said everything was always great when I got home!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Keesha, I’m giggling but still rolling my eyes. It’s just the word and its connotation I hate but IT’S STILL TRUE. I will make myself late for things trying to limit his need to do anything (making dinner before I go, for instance) but he is fully capable of performing as a father and I’m not worried when the kids are with him or anything. IT’S ME more than his inability. (Whispering: “Um, how many damn Fig Newtons did you let him have? The babysitter knows better.)
Arnebya recently posted..Feelings Tsunami
It is true! As I said to another commenter, it isn’t all about clueless dad it’s about control freak mom! I make myself late and worried for no reason as well! Thanks for the great comment!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
LOL — that’s what my husband does when he’s trying to go somewhere! I often have to remind him that I’m perfectly capable of doing all that too. I enjoy him wanting to go the extra mile, but not when it stresses him out to the point of ridiculousness :P
Though my husband is extremely helpful and supportive, offers me time to myself to get out with no strings attached, I still find myself doing a few of these things (reminding him that someone needs to go to bed early, etc.) But I think you nailed this in a comment – it’s ALL about my need to control things, and his amazing ability to just enjoy the moment, clock be damned!
Gina recently posted..Dorothy the dancer…
Enjoying the time with the kids. And in that way I could take a lesson from him I guess… Thanks for commenting, friend!
Keesha recently posted..How to Nail Audition Season: Find Your Inner Dog
Hi Keesha!
I just wandered onto the Scary Mommy website for the very first time and happened to read your post. Another good one!
I still haven’t been able to find your keys.
Kylie recently posted..Inspiration: Blogging for Peace
Thanks Kylie! And btw, there’ll be a reward for you…
Keesha recently posted..10 Things About Me That Suck For My Partner
I’m sure there are many things about you that are great for your partner, especially when he finds your keys.
Kylie recently posted..Starting Over: When Zombies Date
I understand this may be true in many cases but I just want to say it isn’t always true by any means!! My wife and I have four kids ages 6,5,3,&2 and there isn’t an item on that list that’s even close to factual in our house! If anything, they apply to her before me.
I have definitely heard of cases like yours. Change the title we’re set to go!
Keesha recently posted..10 Things About Me That Suck For My Partner
Well ladies to tell the truth this is how I FEEL when he is ‘babysitting’ more so than how it goes down. My hubs is awesome! He DOES fold laundry, give baths, do dishes, make meals, vaccum-all because he knows how much sitting at the computer means to me!! LMAO (it’s true!)
Yes, yes, yes, Melanie! Thank you for getting that so much of it is perception not reality. Although there definitely is some reality ;-)
Keesha recently posted..10 Things About Me That Suck For My Partner
Maybe “mommy” shouldn’t be sleeping with “the babysitter” then maybe he’ll become her man & the daddy insteada “that dude” hey guys its time to man up. I hate hearing a chick say oh my man the baby’s daddy is babysitting, fuck that I’m home loving my sons having a blast while mommy is out working shopping running errands can’t remember the last time I babysat maybe my nefu when I was in junior high school. Takes a man to be a daddy any sperm donor can be a father
@bobbyblanco1 recently posted..Fantasy Football Leader/Cheat Sheet wk 11
All great points. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. The poor bastard in the article is probably grinding his teeth and counting the days until his kids are old enough to deal with a divorce.
Ha! I love it!
Nina recently posted..When I was Pre-Law and Other Wrong Turns Towards the Right Path
I’ve tried talking mine into giving lessons, but he’s too busy and says most of them won’t listen anyway ;). I was also married to a man like the one described above…for five miserable years. That was when I finally realized that he was going to stay a little boy (and also when he found a girlfriend who didn’t expect him to act like a man), so I went and found a really good man. He’s a chef, he takes out the garbage, he does the dishes, he brings me coffee in the morning after getting up with the baby, AND he packs the diaper bag better than I do. Three kids, and he has going to the store down to a science ;).
Yay! Love hearing stories like yours. And I think most of us (I won’t say all) can find things that Hubs does better. A lot of this post is about the worry that goes on in a mom’s head about leaving – whether it’s justified or not…
Keesha recently posted..10 Things About Me That Suck For My Partner
I am so thankful, (also blessed) to have a husband who does take care of the kids, along with the house on a regular basis. However, there were a few minor things he needed training on.. all is smooth for now.
I know this is tongue in cheek but I still laugh at women who think that they have been given magical parenting skills that men don’t have.
Jack recently posted..My Son And The Drunk Moose
Yes, totally tongue-in-cheek. And even when this applies – every single one – a guy can be a great Dad. I’m that mom who worries a lot, and invents problems when there are none. Hope that came through too. I’m not perfect either – go see the response to this post (as suggested by a commenter above). http://www.momsnewstage.com/2013/01/10-things-about-me-that-suck-for-my.html
Keesha recently posted..10 Things About Me That Suck For My Partner
I am so sad to say this, but my dad is one of these dads!! I lived with my dad’s family for a year while my husband was deployed to Iraq. Once (once!), I asked him to watch my 1 1/2 year old in the yard while I showered. A half hour later I found my dad asleep in a chair and my child no where! The next door neighbor apparently watched him fall asleep and took my kid inside with her same age kids. What!! It is sad, but it is kinda funny….when it’s not your kid!
But my husband is wonderful!
Lighten up ladies, read it with the lighthearted humor with which it was written. I am totally with you Scary Mommy!! And I love my babysitter husband!!
The various comments on “babysitting” dads are very funny and made me chuckle. I can’t help but think that dads have made great progress over the years as I recall the first time I left my eldest daughter with my father to babysit. It was 1975 and when I returned from my night out I discovered my father had sewed my daughter’s diaper on as he couldn’t figure out how to use the sticky tabs. I wouldn’t have minded only he used black thread (he couldn’t find the white thread). The bigger surprise was when he informed me that it was the first time he had changed a diaper. Believe it or not I was the baby of the family and his tenth child. So there is hope for the future generation of dads.
this is the BEST thing I have read all day. My brother is an expectant dad and I have had to have him watch my daughter on occasion recently. When I came home from work, he informed me that he changed the first poopy diaper he had changed in 20 years on my little girl. It was one of “those” that went up and all around, and she had taken off the diaper herself in her crib. hahahaha
This is a hilarious list. It peaked my interest cause the other day, I asked my sister-in-law if she was bringing the kids shopping, and she responded, “Nope, my husband is babysitting.”
What sort of father babysits? Seriously? Thank GOD her little brother (my husband) knows how this fatherhood things works.
Awesome. Exactly EXACTLY what I have to deal with. Thanks for adding some humor to a situation that normally makes me cry.
My husband is an AWESOME dad, but that being said, when I was in the hospital after having my 3rd baby, hubby was home with the older 2… When I got home (after only being in the hospital 25 hrs) I asked what the kids ate, I got a, “ummmm…. well, they had those brownies you made for breakfast and lunch, and I grabbed some McD’s for dinner!” HA! I’m glad they had fun and the house was clean-ish so no one was killed when I got home!!! :) :)
Ha! Well said! I couldn’t agree more. I leave my son with my husband every Thursday night when I go out to yoga and expect a sink full of dirty dishes, the good night bottle by the rocker, and general disarray. But he does a good job and I’m thankful. We just have to remember that they are not us and don’t do things like us, or as good as us! ;)
A-fricking-men.
Momma Jorje recently posted..What a load of garbage!
“So-and-so likes her hot-dogs peeled and cut into ½ inch think semicircles.”
Maybe you shouldn’t raise your kid to be needy. Does it really make your husband a bad man if he doesn’t cater to your child’s every request? I’d say he’s probably doing a better job raising her to survive the real world. Her boss isn’t going to care if she likes her work day split into 4 hour segments and coated with jellybeans.
Speaking of bosses, do you have one? Probably not, since you’re at home raising your baby all day. He could argue that you get to sit on a sofa and play with a baby all day while he pays your mortgage, and stocks your kitchen.