10 Facts on Feeding Young Kids

67 Comments

Remember when food was that stuff you consumed when you were hungry? Me neither. Somehow parenting changes that. Gone are the days of cooking one meal that everyone will eat and consuming food that is actually warm….

Boy Making Peanut Butter Sandwich

1. Everything is stage. It will pass. Just like that penny your baby ingested.

2. On long trips, let your children eat whatever processed crap you can get your hands on.

3. If you count ketchup as a fruit or vegetable, it’s likely your child is eating a balanced diet.

4. Never tell your child that the ice cream truck sells ice cream. Tell them it sells vegetables.

5. If it’s 6 PM and you have not made supper, declare it “Backwards Day” and serve breakfast for dinner. Limit this to 6x per week.

6. Keep an emergency vegetable tray in the fridge. If other parents visit your home, pull it out and appear responsible.

7. Eating your child’s Halloween candy is akin to martyrdom: it saves your kids the pain and humiliation of cavities.

8. Look for opportunities to practice your child’s literacy skills. Buying food with unrecognizable ingredients aids this educational pursuit.

9. Teaching toddlers to smuggle candy into movie theatres is the first step towards teaching them to become financially independent.

10. Realizing that “meal” stands for “Mommy Eats, Always Last” will help you become accustomed to choking down cold food.

Comments

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  1. 6

    swirlgrrrl says

    akin to #6 – pack fresh fruit and/or veggie to a play date to pretend your kid will actually choose that over the secret goldfish and candy you packed to keep her quiet.

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  2. 8

    Practical Mama says

    “Mommy eats, meals last” = MEAL. Love it.
    As per #6, I don’t know what kind of grandparents you are talking about but I know mine are the other way around. They’ll feed kids all kinds of sweets and junk they can get their hands on – even if they have to sneak them in. They wouldn’t let me and my brother eat this much sweets when we were little. It still baffles me, what setting changes after being a grandparent.

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  3. 10

    Murphy Must Have Had Kids says

    I couldn’t survive without #5. You can change it up a bit too…sometimes pancakes, sometimes waffles, french toast, different ways of cooking the eggs. Just sneak a little fruit salad in there to and voila! ;)

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  4. 15

    Kari Haugeto says

    Finally the truth about how to feed the kids on long road trips. So glad to know I’ve been doing it right. Now I’m off to buy more ketchup!

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  5. 19

    Nicole says

    I request an edit on #3, please. Ketchup is a fruit AND a vegetable in our house. This OR nonsense would make it seem like my kid is malnourished or something :P

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