Five Reasons to Have “One More Baby”

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one-more-baby

One of the biggest lessons I have learned as a parent is that I cannot plan everything. Before I became a parent, I thought I would have two, maybe three, children, and I would space them out exactly three years apart and be done giving birth by age 33 — an age I deemed “right.” That decided, I read every parenting book, I talked to all my friends who were parents, and I spent hours scouring the Internet for everything I could find on parenting.

Then I became a parent, and I found out that none of that preparation really mattered. Parenthood, it turns out, requires on-the-job training and has a super steep learning curve. I also found out that I really didn’t know what I wanted or when after all, which was good: after barely surviving my firstborn’s colic, I ended up having my second son only (surprise!) 21 months after my first.

Our decisions to later have a third, then a fourth, child were long-debated and often came down to leaps of faith. If you had told me before I had any children that I would end up having four, I would have called you crazy. And yet, here I am. I didn’t mean to personally overpopulate the earth or go all Duggar style; in the end, our family just worked out this way.

I have been in the position of trying to decide whether or not to try to have “one more baby” — which is really the decision to try to have one more child and one more tween and one more teenager and one more PERSON with gifts and flaws and quirks and needs in your life forever — and I know it can be emotionally and mentally draining. I’m a big fan of doing what is best for you, whether that means one child, two, four or more, or none at all. But assuming you are not faced with medical implications or financial issues that would make having “one more” child unfeasible, and assuming you are somewhat inclined or intrigued with the idea… I am going to make the case for you to go for that one last baby:

1. You are already good at it.

We bumbled our way through babies one and two, but by babies three and four? We had that stuff down, man. Once you have children of school age, you really appreciate how relatively easy it is to fulfill a baby’s needs. It really is true that bigger kids have bigger problems. (Captain Obvious caveat: babies do, in fact, grow up to be bigger children with bigger problems.) Still, sometimes when I am faced with the intricacies of navigating social media and puberty with a tween or the social hierarchies and stumbles of fourth grade, I am really happy to have a chance to snuggle up with my 1-year-old for some Sandra Boynton board book action. The relative simplicity of babies’ needs can be a salve for a mom’s battered soul.

2. Babies are miniature goodwill ambassadors.

With my last baby, I marveled at how strangers were drawn to her just because she was a baby. Most people, it turns out, love (happy, non-screaming) babies. Significantly, my other three children adore our baby; she is the one thing they all consistently agree on, and it actually helps our overall family dynamics. The boys’ admiration for their baby sister unites them when nothing else does. It’s hard to be angry when there is a baby in the room doing irresistibly adorable things and watching us all with big, observant eyes.

3. Babies dilute surly attitudes and diffuse jaded world views.

Recently, I took my boys to Disney World, which is a local trip for us. Children who grow up in Central Florida take Disney for granted, and my older children rolled their eyes at a few of the rides. But with our toddler along, they agreed to It’s a Small World and even a ride on the carousel. I caught the boys smiling from ear to ear when she waved at the characters and squealed with glee when they pointed out a new surprise to her. And the thing with babies and toddlers is, everything is a surprise. I had forgotten what it was like to visit Disney with a child who had never seen it before. Her enthusiasm and genuine delight made a difference to all of us.

4. That last baby will remind you that all your now impossibly grown up children were once babies too.

My kids regularly kick my butt — not literally, but figuratively — and leave me emotionally and mentally depleted. When I lie in bed at night, unable to sleep because I am tormented about how I parented that day (or not), it is never about the baby. When my kids’s behavior make me look at them and think, “Who ARE you and what have you done with my child?!” the baby reminds me of who they used to be, just a few short years ago. I find myself able to find that last little reserve of patience, the last dregs of my sanity, by looking at her sweet face and remembering when they also had full, round cheeks and could fit in my lap and when many things could be solved by a nap. I am a better mother to my older children because I am her mother.

5. A baby just might teach you all a thing or two.

When you have already taken the parenthood journey before, you can get cocky. You might think you know what to expect when you’re expecting. The best thing about babies #2, 3, and especially 4, for me, have been what they have taught me about parenthood that I would have never known from parenting my firstborn alone. I learned that some babies do sleep well early (and then maybe not so well later), that some children are easy to potty-train and some, holy mother, are really not. For us, our last baby was also our first and only little girl, and what she has taught me more than anything else is how having a sister affects my boys. I am convinced that having a sister has changed the way they will treat the women in their lives — and how they treat other people in general. They are a little more forgiving, a little more patient, a little more tender than they used to be before we had her. I also never expected that having a much younger sibling would bring my children so much joy. But when I caught one of my tweens sitting in the nursery, toddler in his lap, reading her every board book she owns and singing the Frozen soundtrack to her — well, I know we have done a good thing giving my kids one more sibling.

I completely understand families that call the game and quit while they are ahead. More babies mean more money, more space, more sleep deprivation, and more tolls on your body. They mean more demands, more stress, and more risks. No one understands this better than a mom of many children. However, I often find myself, amidst the chaos and the exasperation and the mess and the bills, looking at my family’s pint-sized boss and feeling overwhelmed with gratitude that we took the leap and received her in return. So if you are on the fence like I was once was, I’m just here to say — it could be great. It could be more than great.

Comments

  1. 1

    Becky says

    I have 2 teenagers and we unexpectedly got pregnant, with twins. This article is so on point with what we have experienced in our lives, but one thing remains true today and that is the pure joy that those 2 now 3yr old toddlers of ours have brought our whole family. Not just mommy, daddy, older brother (18) and older sister (16), but to see how they have given new life to my in-laws who are in their 80′s is so wonderful. God truly has a plan and He knew what we need in our lives 100x better than what we did. Plus, the added benefit of birth control by having younger siblings for my teenagers has been VERY beneficial. Both of them SWEAR they are never having kids and for quite a few years, I’m perfectly ok with that.

  2. 5

    momofeveryone says

    I have 3, I’m retired lol but my sister’s are younger and getting married and having babies so by proxy i get to do it again!

  3. 6

    Candice says

    I was one that said I was never going to get married and i was never going to have kids… I have two wonderful little boys and a husband I adore… and wishing that I had not gotten my tubes tied at 23, when I see my family members having babies, I get baby fever…

    • 8

      Allison Slater Tate says

      I agree that everyone should definitely consider adoption too. I didn’t say you have to have the baby yourself. :) That’s just how we happened to do it.

      • 9

        Mossy11 says

        I think the implication when you say “have” another baby, is definitely NOT to adopt. I appreciate you trying to clarify, but this piece is riddled with language about “expecting,” so I don’t think you were even considering adoption when you wrote this.

        • 10

          Allison Slater Tate says

          I was writing about my OWN experience, not creating public policy, so yes, I did have a baby myself. I do understand the implications as a whole of overpopulation, and I did consider those before we expanded our own family. I was writing this to a specific group of people: people who might want another child. Children come in all kinds of ways. MIne came this way. I have found it most effective to write from my personal point of view, but that doesn’t mean my meaning can’t be open to interpretation. I greatly respect my friends who are adoptive parents, and I agree with you that adoption should always be a consideration. I do not agree that it is wrong to talk about having another child (however way one chooses) if it is what is best for your family, just as I don’t tell people it’s wrong to choose not to have children at all or to stop at one. Those choices don’t have the same impact on the Earth, no, but every choice has pros and cons, big and little. My point here was simply to celebrate the fact that my youngest child is alive and that she is bringing us great joy, not to be flippant about overpopulation. I wrote it because I do believe that in our society babies are generally kind of seen as burdens or inconveniences. I was just trying to offer the flip side — that they are also blessings. I really do appreciate you reading and I appreciate your comments and the passion with which you deliver them — and I really appreciate you keeping it civil! So thank you.

          • 11

            MyKidsMakeMeCrazy says

            Mossy11, I absolutely agree that people should take overpopulation into effect when family planning. However, I think people throw adoption around as an easy solution without realizing how incredibly difficult adoption is. Adopting a baby requires an incredible amount of money (avg. cost of adoption is $34k according to creatingafamily.org) trips to a foreign country (if you go the international route given the limited opportunities for baby adoption in the US), and possible heartbreak when it falls through. If you want to adopt an older child, go ahead and peruse the foster kids available for adoption in your state. For starters, many kids are a packaged deal–you also have to adopt their siblings. Many foster kids also have serious health concerns that require LIFELONG care and many have emotional issues given the lack of stability and possible abuse they have suffered. I totally admire people who adopt these older children, but a lot of people don’t have the time and/or money required to successfully integrate these kids into their family. Thus, it’s great to make people aware of the ills of overpopulation, but I don’t think adoption is a fair alternative to propose.

            • 12

              Mossy11 says

              I hear ya. I think adoption and foster parenting should be a major focal point for politicians. There’s a lot of corruption in the “industry” (so weird to even call it that).

            • 14

              Stacy says

              I think if someone cannot emotionally/financially/etc care for a child with life long care they should not be having children… There is just as much chance as having a biological child with severe autism, a mental illness, or some other tragedy occur as there is adopting a child through foster care and not knowing they will need lifelong care before the adoption…

              • 15

                MaraMama says

                Totally right on, Stacy! No one likes to think about their baby being less than “perfect”, but it certainly happens, and happens often! With older parents now the norm, and the chances of having some sort of problem rising along with that number, it is a real possibility people need to consider before conceiving.
                *of course there are other causes and risk factors besides paternal and maternal ages.

    • 16

      Kim says

      ^^ Wow seriously? I’m all for adoption but it is not selfish to have your own baby if you are responsible and financially able to. As far as the world being overpopulated, that’s utter nonsense! If someone decides they want 20 kids, in the end it’s none of your business.

      • 17

        Mossy11 says

        A simple google search is all you need to do to find that it’s not “utter nonsense” to say the world is overpopulated. And as a member of this planet, it absolutely IS my business how many children people decide to bring into this world. We simply can’t sustain the level of breeding we’ve reached if parents are going to continue buying SUVs, larger houses, more TVs that will be thrown out in a year, etc. in order to accommodate growing families and all the trappings that having a large family involves. I absolutely love children and if someone has a child, it’s not going to receive my scorn or anything, but articles like this are self-serving. Only thinking of immediate individual needs and ignoring the impact that our actions have on the rest of the planet. Considering there’s a patch of plastic garbage the size of Texas floating in the ocean, we can’t even eat fish because water is so polluted, air quality is so bad that over half of lung cancer patients aren’t even smokers, electronic trash is responsible for leeching toxins into the soil, air and water…I don’t think this planet can take many more people coming along to make the mess bigger. And why would anyone even WANT to bring a child into this filthhole until it’s been cleaned up?

          • 19

            Mossy11 says

            What you so eloquently and sophisticatedly describe as being a “hippie fuck,” I describe as having common sense and compassion. And if being a hippie fuck means that I have enough dignity and intellect to state a valid point without resorting to seventh grade name calling, than I’ll be a hippie fuck any day!!!

          • 21

            courtney says

            The response of someone that doesn’t have a clue….
            While I may not be anything close to a hippie, Mossy here is absolutely right about where we are headed. People that don’t care and don’t want to hear it (by being childish and calling names), are the problem!

      • 22

        Stacy says

        In my state, there are so many stray orphaned cats that they’ve passed laws on breeding. All cats over 6 months old must be fixed. It’s illegal to breed cats. Too bad we can’t treat human children with the same empathy that we feel for those poor kittens…

      • 23

        Tricia says

        I agree with you its your business how many kids you want to give birth to no one elses and what people don’t realize it cost a lot of money to adopt so they say about overpopulation well why don’t they Adopt

      • 24

        courtney says

        Really?! Overpopulation is a major concern that affects everyone. People need to be responsible. I understand wanting to have many kids, my two boys are fabulous and I would LOVE to have more. However, I am concerned for their future and worry about what the world will be like when we run out of land, food, clean water, etc. It’s a very legitimate concern. I know where I live we have tripled our population in just 20 years.
        Someone that thinks they can just have as many kids as they want and it doesn’t affect us all is delusional!

    • 25

      Jennifer Alexander says

      While the earth may be overpopulated, it is still the right of financially stable parents to “be fruitful and multiply.” You have a warped sense of the words selfish and irresponsible. Those words are reserved for the parent(s) that abandoned/abused their children who are now in the foster care/adoption system. Why not post your comments on the “child-free” movement sites, and think before you start standing on your soapbox for adoption. Adoption is a fantastic option, and so is baring children of your own! You have no right to down either of those decisions.

      • 26

        Mossy11 says

        “While the earth may be overpopulated, it is still the right of financially stable parents to ‘be fruitful and multiply.’” That’s like saying, “While Big Macs contain chemicals that cause cancer and obesity and are made from tortured cows, it is still the right of people to eat them.” No kidding!! Of course it’s their right! But just because people have the right to do something, doesn’t mean it’s not something that should still be considered carefully, both in terms of how it affects people individually, and how it affects the planet collectively. I actually do “think” before I stand on any soapbox…maybe that’s my problem-I think. As far as posting this on “child-free” movement sites, that would sort of be preaching to the choir, right? I chose to write on this one because I couldn’t believe someone wrote about just going ahead and having another baby, without discussing any of the reasons why it might be a good idea not to. I’m not anti-child or something. I love children. But in the planet’s present state of overconsumption, mass production, and mass REproduction, people need to consider the impact of bringing even more people into the world. And not just for the sake of the existing environment and people, but for the child’s well-being also. Ultimately, I think if people were taught that we’re more than consumers and if selfish materialism weren’t advertised to us on an almost constant basis, we wouldn’t need to have this discussion. The planet would be inhabited by conscious people who would rather protect the planet than buy the latest SUV model. In which case, it could support as much life as we wanted. Maybe one day :)

          • 28

            Mossy11 says

            But you could google “overpopulation is a problem’ and find the same thing! So who’s to know what to believe!? It seems that all or mostly women have been a part of this discussion. And I think rather than arguing with each other about whether or not to have children (which I’ve been remiss in doing), we should be unitedly acknowledging the fact that the world that has been created (primarily by males) is one that does not sustain life. It’s a world of imperialism, war, exploitation, and a constant focus on the economy rather than on LIFE. What we should REALLY be doing is educating people on how to treat each other and the planet so that there’s no need for concern when it comes to bringing children into the world.

            • 29

              Vbell says

              Yes, who knows what to believe?? So why put down the opinion of those who choose to have more than 2 children? What we really need are more responsible parents who love & nurture their children& count them as blessings! These are the adults we need to lead our nation! Just say’ my opinion ❤️

              • 30

                Stacy says

                We’re not sure if overpopulation is a problem? Are you guys being serious? Have you never heard of hunger and poverty? Are you not familiar with the housing crisis? The rise in unemployment? The number of people on welfare? The number of children in foster care or without homes? What?!

        • 31

          Jeannette says

          Honey some of them have babies just to get on the “Welfare role”, they do not have babies to care for them. They are too busy partying and spreading their legs and do not think of the consequences of raising a child, instead they neglect the child etc. etc. I’m sure you will agree with me. Too many no good parents that do not know how to love and take care of a child. Welfare is their main goal, freeloading and to
          o lazy to even support themselves.

        • 32

          js says

          Mossy11,
          important sorry but it is none of your business to state whether or not more children is a goid idea or bad for each family. your concerns of pollution and waste are not coming fromlarge families but of the selfish, greedy and wasteful culture we are living in. in fact, i venture to guess (and from my close friends with large families) that they ate the LEAST wasteful of those in this country and for many have LESS than the average number of things like TV’s etc. lage families are not the source of waste, pollution etc

    • 33

      anjieo says

      All hail the mighty Mossy who hides behind an anonymous name and is perfect and has only made the best decisions about everything in their life. I hope you are out there preaching all this ‘wisdom’ to people in real life too. I hope you are out there actually trying to make a difference in the world. Do you walk up to every parent you see with children and tell them how awful they are to be over populating the planet and guilt tripping them about every other decision they have made?

        • 35

          Stacy says

          It absolutely is common sense Mossy!!! Unfortunately people don’t think about these things before bringing numerous other children into the world so they get offended when it’s brought up.

    • 36

      Marleah says

      Mossy11 – Please watch the movie Idiocracy. Too many people are getting pregnant and populating the earth, but they aren’t really the type of people who “should” reproduce. The highly educated people wait too long, and then are unable to have children. What we need (in this country for sure) is for those who are educated and financially secure to have more children – then those children will grow up with the parents’ ideals and work ethic and become productive adults. My husband is a physician, I stay at home with my children (after earning my masters degree and working for several years) and we are now expecting our third child. I am very proud that we are in the position to have and support another child and believe more people with similar resources should consider the same. My family will not be draining our society; if anything, we are contributing to it considerably.

      • 37

        Stacy says

        Kudos to you Marleah for being in a position where you can responsibly have children before doing so. It is 100% true that the uneducated and the poor have a lot more children than the highly educated and the financially stable. I always thought this was because of the highly educated part. Most doctors, business owners, etc in my circle have no children or have adopted.

      • 38

        Mossy11 says

        There are no guarantees, though, that children of highly educated and financially stable parents will grow up to be contributors to society. They might contribute to GDP, yes, but to society, not always. In many of my prior experiences in the service industry, it was the educated children of financially stable parents who were rude, ill-mannered and selfish. And there is no guarantee that children of low-income families will grow up to be burdens to society. I think that it’s just as unfair for me to say “don’t have children” as it is for someone else to say “don’t have children unless you make a certain amount of money.” I still think the answer is to work together to create a planet that can sustain life no matter who’s bringing it into the world. And that starts with educating everyone equally, not just the privileged few.

        • 39

          Marleah says

          You are right, there are no guarantees. I also have met many wealthy families with disrespectful children (although, I think this is probably a problem across income levels, not just the wealthy). I’ve actually never considered myself or my husband as “the privileged few”. Growing up with a dad who was a carpenter and a stay-at-home mom, my family definitely did not have money. My dad worked every job he could find and my mom grew our fruits and vegetables and made our clothes and they were able to support all four children. My brothers and I saw my dad working hard to provide and my mother’s ability to stretch a dollar – those values of hard work and living within our means have allowed my three brothers and I to all become very “successful”. No, we did not have cable TV or fancy clothes and toys, but we were happy and as a child, I never felt like I was without something. My parents told my brothers and I that they expected us all to go to college, but they did not have any money for us. So, through hard work making top grades in high school, I earned a full academic scholarship to undergraduate school and then continued (on full scholarship) to received my masters degree (even studying abroad in Italy). My husband has a similar background; his father a teacher and his mother stayed home. He earned academic scholarships for college and decided to join the United States Air Force to serve his country, while also paying for his medical school. My husband’s hard work, dedication, ambition and intelligence earned him the opportunity for a prestigious residency program, followed by a fellowship, and now he has earned his place at a very good hospital. The point of me telling you all that is that if we, as parents, demonstrate to our children that hard work and dedication can bring success, then it doesn’t matter whether or not a person grows up privileged. Yes, we are now in a position where we can afford some of the luxuries in life (our children are growing up much differently than my husband and I did), but I don’t apologize for that and I don’t believe everyone should be afforded the same luxuries. That’s what is great about our country (or used to be), hard work (and education) can actually allow you to move up in social class. I think that’s the biggest problem with our country now – this entitlement that people feel; thinking the government owes us anything is against everything our country was founded on. No, I don’t think every one should be driving the same cars, wearing the same clothes or having the same size TVs. Work hard and earn your way. That being said, I do agree with you that our education system is lacking and that all children should receive quality education. The public schools where I live are not great (mostly funding issues), so we have decided to send our children to private school; this is because I feel education is one of the most important gifts I can give to my children. It was not my intention to say low income families should not have children – I grew up in a low income family and my parents had 4 children. The point of the article was whether or not people on the fence should have “one more”. So, in response to that, my feeling is if a family cannot afford to care for their children, are unemployed, or supported by our government, then it may not be best for them to have “one more”. You are absolutely right to say overpopulation is a problem; I (again) recommend the move, Idiocracy. I think you will understand my point (although you may not agree).

          • 40

            Mossy11 says

            I wasn’t necessarily referring to you as being the “privileged few.” I’m speaking more about anyone who went to college-whether it was because their parents paid for them, they got a scholarship, student loans, etc. I’ve seen the movie Idioacracy, but from what I remember of it, it made fun of how “idiotic” our world has become rather than offering solutions. One of those solutions being universal education. And also education about how our purchasing decisions affect our planet rather than how they affect the GDP. This way, we’ll have more people who are financially stable AND conscious,..and therefore more fit to be parents.

    • 41

      Joy says

      I think instead of telling people to stop having children, I think we should be encouraging folks to start living off the land. I don’t see why we need to spend so much money going “green” when instead, we could just move to some remote locale, build a cob style house or a log cabin (etc), plant a garden, keep a few chickens and a cow. Hunt and fish. Use natural resources instead of buying everything from the store. With that kind of lifestyle, a lot of kids would be a boon. Many hands make light work. No one condemns the single city dweller who lives in their cushy condo with their electric car in the garage, but shouldn’t we be talking to them as well? If we didn’t live so crammed into cities, we’d have the space to grow our own food and not be so dependent on huge industries that are putting out the toxic wastes as a by-product. Just my thought!
      My husband and I are working toward buying a piece of land up in Alaska, where we could build our own home and live as remotely as we like, and as off-grid as we like. And really, I don’t do it because I care so much about the earth—folks will go on polluting and wasting and creating their own filth to live in, because big corporations make money off of that. They don’t make much money off of folks who live simply, so the media would never encourage that. They want people to spend, but they have to pretend to be earth-friendly, so they market all kinds of “green” products for people to buy so they think they’re saving the earth.

  4. 42

    JaymeC says

    I needed this as our completely unplaned, how did this happen, third, is due in 6 weeks. I am anxious and apprehensive about how this one will change the family dynamic. Thank you for showing me the positive!

      • 44

        CheriK says

        My third has been such a joyful guy-he is hilariously wonderful, and we ALL think so! Jayme, watch and see the miracle unfold. I’m telling you, your family will be greatly blessed!

  5. 45

    kate says

    It could be more than great, it could be the biggest regret of my life that I spend the rest of my natural resenting. Hey ho. Good post though, I enjoyed reading thanks :)

    • 46

      Renee says

      I agree that it could be a big regret. OP, you don’t talk about the potential hardship that having more children can cause. What if having another child results in health issues for the mother and child? What if those health issues cause a mother to be less if a mother to the children she aleady has? So often, the hard stuff is glossed over and ignored. Sometimes, I feel that others want mothers to have more children so that they are just as miserable as they are.

      • 47

        Allison Slater Tate says

        Frankly, I didn’t talk about it because that wasn’t the point of this post. I wasn’t being comprehensive; I was simply giving five reasons in favor of going for it. Of course there are so very many considerations when having a baby. Of course there are downsides or risks. But that’s not what I was writing about this time.
        P.S. — I’m not miserable.

        • 48

          Renee says

          I didn’t mean to imply that you were miserable, I was just generalizing. I’m happy for you. To me, the title implies that all parents should have more babies… I guess it feels like being punched in the face for a parent who is unable to. Maybe the title should be, “five reason why I had one more baby.”

          • 49

            Allison Slater Tate says

            The reason I put “one more baby” in quotes was to refer to the idea that someone is debating having “one more baby.” I don’t think everyone needs to tack another child onto the family! Lol. The quotes were supposed to direct the post specifically to the people – which I wrote about in the post – who are having the debate with themselves. I am sensitive to those who can’t, and I’m sorry if the headline hit you in a tender spot. I know these conversations can be very tough for those who don’t have the choice.

  6. 53

    says

    Really love this Allison! I especially love your point that it’s not just a baby–it’s a teen, etc. Part of what I love about a house full of four is imagining the robust family dynamics of adult children. Though maybe I watched too many episodes of Brothers & Sisters and Parenthood. (Incidentally, Bryan tried to argue for a 5th. That’s one too many for me. Even after this excellent post.)

  7. 54

    Allie Smith says

    You don’t have to convince me, I wanted one more…..so bad! Unfortunately the years on the calendar stopped me:(.

  8. 55

    mothering spirit says

    Loved this. Thank you. We’re expecting #3 soon, and pregnancy is such a challenge for me that I’ve been grumbling around for months about how the fourth baby we’ve always imagined is never.going.to.happen because morning sickness for 3 trimesters makes me so miserable. But your wisdom and joy reminds me that this is such a short time, relatively speaking, to bear a burden that will be a gift for me and for our family for years to come. I think I’ll return to this piece in a few years for another reminder…

  9. 56

    Shellie says

    Great article and wonderful for you to have that option. Didn’t work that well with me. I would love to adopt but the heartbreak/money etc. is depressing. Good luck with your decision!

  10. 57

    Nimoway says

    Woah woah woah… who is to say that adopted or not this ‘baby’ that mommy is considering bringing into the world isn’t going to grow up to be the individual who SAVES the planet, or participates in a significant way in the cleaning up of our planet? children are the future, future dr’s, future presidents, future environmentalists etc. The planet is indeed filthy and over populated, but big change can come just from a small few great minds. So let’s have them, teach them, and then ultimately thank them. Youth have been cleaning up their parents messes for ages.

  11. 59

    Toni says

    How about a 9th child? … and perhaps even a 10th?
    Not populating the world ourselves, but rather by adoption. My husband would say I’d lost my mind, but…

  12. 60

    Bonnie says

    Loved the article. We’ve been on the fence about adding to our family and a friend of mine put it in great context. I can’t imagine I would ever regret having a child, but if I don’t, I might look back and regret not trying. Does that make sense? I know I might regret holding back, but I could never look at a child with regret. Some may not agree, either way, I enjoyed your article!

  13. 61

    David Freiman says

    My, how times have changed. Only a short time ago infant and child mortality rates were so high that it was necessary and common for families to have large numbers of children just so there would be a few survivors to care for their parents. Look through biographies of many famous people who lost and mourned many siblings and children, and how that affected their lives and careers. We live in a wonderful era where miraculous science, technology, medicine and nutrition make it possible for so many to live long healthy, productive and satisfying lives. Yes, there is also widespread poverty and overpopulation — in some places. Why not raise healthy, happy, ethical and good-hearted children to work on solving the world’s problems? We have children because of the joy they bring us and the extraordinary opportunity they give us to work on ourselves to become better people.

    Mossy11: Why not be less judgmental and stop posting useless nonsense on a message board for people who love raising children. Put your superior mind to use working on the causes you hold so dear. Common sense? It just seems like common sense that you are not going to win any converts to reducing overpopulation on this discussion board. Unless your goal is to be show us what it is like to be an unfeeling a**hole. You certainly aren’t demonstrating what a good person you are if all you care to do is challenge and insult. Use your common sense and go away, mossy11.

    By the way, I have four children with two wives and working on a fifth. So sue me.

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    Julie says

    Thank you for this post. I recently lost a *surprise* 4th, but it opened my mind to the possibility of having a 4th. I love what you said about having a younger one grows the older ones.

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    Momof6wallaces says

    What a fun read! I can so relate to the lessons learned from a little one. We had our 6th baby 7 mos ago. He wasn’t expected but welcome none the less. He has been such an amazing addition to our family, I’m blessed to be his mommy! People like mossy11 make me sad. God is the owner of the womb, life is a blessing. And for the record, we are not wasteful, entitled or provided for by the government. We are good stewards with our stuff, appreciate all we have been blessed with and even help others. I believe I am doing this world a favor by bringing in more “game changers”. I am hoping we can start bailing this sinking ship we call America. I wouldn’t change my family for anything!! Thanks for the article!

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