Father’s Day is this weekend, so it’s time to celebrate dads. Well, we kind of always celebrate dads for doing minor things that moms do every day, but we digress. We still love them and need them and they deserve a special day recognizing their contributions.
For our part, we’re honoring the occasion by highlighting the funny dads of Twitter. They keep it hilariously real every day and help us laugh when we’d rather cry. Thanks, guys. Keep up the good work.
1. That bear didn’t stand a chance.
Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 11, 2015
Anyone he happens upon will be subject to his dadly advice. Them’s the rules.
2. Pro tip.
Pool noodles are a great way to sword fight your kid while still lying on the couch.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) June 13, 2017
While us moms worry about enriching activities that teach our kids valuable lessons, dads have mastered the art of not giving a fuck. Let’s learn from them.
3. The Meryl Streep of dads.
I can't believe I wasn't nominated for a Tony award for my role as "Dad pretending to be interested in his son talking about Minecraft."
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 12, 2017
He can look at his phone and feign interest in any number of boring kid subjects. Definitely worthy of a trophy.
4. Dads don’t need no stinking help.
Lost 5 dad points for not knowing where something was in Home Depot but got 10 back for searching for 8 hrs so I wouldn't have to ask anyone
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 3, 2016
Let us all have the confidence of a dad who’s been wandering Home Depot for two hours and has turned down help several times along the way.
5. They try to see the good in their kids.
I was just enviously admiring the energy and flexibility of a 3yo and then he kneed himself in the face.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) April 27, 2016
Is there blood everywhere? Yup. Does he have a future in the NFL? Maybe.
6. They have super patience.
According to toddlers, you haven't really said goodbye unless you've said it 20 or 30 times.
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) October 20, 2016
Or just superior abilities to zone out and ignore annoying things. Trying to give you some credit here, guys.
7. And they keep it real.
My son can now reach the light switches so don't come over my house unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 21, 2013
They celebrate the big milestones too. In their own way.
8. They’re truly empathetic.
I feel you Oscar the Grouch. If I had to deal with that many kids all the time, I would hide in a trash can as well.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 9, 2017
Although it only takes my two kids to make me want to hide in a trashcan some days.
9. They always give it their best.
[in car drop off line at school]
Dad, this isn't even our school.
"Look kids…Daddy's hungover. Just go in there & learn something, ok?"
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) January 12, 2016
Is he perfect? Not even close. Does he care? Meh.
10. They know a good thing when they see it.
Watched my 4yo make a potato chip sandwich with cookies for the bread, and now he's my new life coach.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 21, 2013
They may not ask for help at the hardware store, but they’re open to brilliant new ideas involving potato chips.
11. They keep things exciting.
Some parents sing the Clean Up song, but I just yell "I'm getting garbage bags you better hope you can pick up your toys faster than I can!"
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 28, 2017
And also, pretty innovative. Why go the Mary Poppins route when you can send them all scrambling instead?
12. And they know when to call in the pros.
son: hey dad
me: [picks up phone, dials 9] yes
son: now don’t get mad
me: [dials 1] ok
son: do we have a fire extinguisher
me: [dials 1]
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) December 15, 2016
Happy Father’s Day, dads!