Kids’ television shows are a total double-edged sword. They get parents the much-needed quiet time they crave, but after a few years of listening to those screechy theme songs and annoying characters, some might wonder if it’s worth the pain.
When you’re out with friends and all you have to offer for conversation is the latest plot twist from Peppa Pig, it’s easy to vilify kids’ TV shows. But then, it affords you a quiet hour in the evening so you can make dinner without a child tugging your yoga pants to your ankles in their quest to be picked up and suddenly, TV is bae. Luckily, the funny parents of Twitter understand the complicated love/hate relationship parents have with their childrens’ favorite shows.
1. You’ll never see Black Mirror. Give up.
Let's get married and have kids so instead of joining in on the hottest new Netflix show we can delete 100 Paw Patrol episodes from our DVR.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 13, 2017
No one at the water cooler wants to hear about the newest episode of Paw Patrol, but that’s literally all you have to offer. Sad.
2. We *so* get it now.
My parents looked forward to our Saturday morning cartoon watching even more than my sister and I did. I know this now.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) January 24, 2017
Ever think back to those Saturday mornings spent watching four hours of cartoons in blissful silence and understand why you were allowed to do that? It all makes sense now.
3. Why, though?
Eff you, person who invented these kids' 5 minute TV shows. Eff you.
— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) December 12, 2015
Honestly, even 22 minutes doesn’t feel like enough some of the time, so who in the hell thought five minutes was a bright idea? No thank you, please.
4. Every. Single. Song.
Mom Truth #62: Your memory will improve for things like knowing all the words to every theme song of every show your kid has ever watched.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) November 18, 2015
Realize with horror that you have no idea who’s singing anything on the radio anymore, but your brain has every Disney Jr. tune running on a loop. That’s a tough one to come to terms with.
"Hey guys, it's time to turn off the TV," and other things I say to my kids that make them laugh.
— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) November 25, 2015
They know. You know. Drop the charade and let the good times roll.
Told my son the new season of Caillou just came out and turned on Poltergeist and now I never have to watch Caillou again.
— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) February 28, 2016
You do what you need to do. We won’t judge. We might take notes though.
7. You might get too invested.
When do we get to the part where the engines rise up to overthrow Sir Topham Hatt's oppressive regime?
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) April 13, 2016
It’s when you find yourself really wondering about the inner workings of your kids’ favorite TV shows that you should probably take a break.
8. Stop lying to yourself.
Sometimes I let my kids watch a show before bed, but most of the time I let them watch four.
— Mom Psychologist (@mompsychologist) December 5, 2016
We start off with the best intentions and end with our kid watching half a season of Octonauts just so we can make the noise stop. It’s the natural progression of things.
9. Love us anyway.
UP NEXT IS VAL!
*Daniel Tiger theme starts*
Me: SHUT UP I'M A MOM THIS IS THE ONLY SONG I CAN REMEMBER RIGHT NOW
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 27, 2016
Tell your child-free friends you won’t always be this insufferable and uninteresting. This is who you are for now. Own it.
10. Trippy AF.
"Slow the fuck down Thomas"
– me, drunk, watching Thomas The Train
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 29, 2017
There’s really only one way to tolerate Thomas the Train and it’s definitely alcohol. That’s it. Just lots of alcohol.
11. The REAL milestones.
This morning, 5yo finally took the initiative & went to watch TV BY HIMSELF, w/o waking one of us to go with him.
I've never been so proud!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 20, 2016
Walking? Crawling? First words? How nice. But the day your kid can turn on the TV himself you’ll hear fucking angels sing. Come at me, bro. You know I’m right.
12. So rustic.
"When I was a kid, we had to watch whatever was on TV at the time" is my generation's "walked to school uphill both ways."
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) September 2, 2015
Plus, commercials. Like an actual scary story!