Why Mothers Should Embrace Grandparents Day


My Mother’s Day this year was fine, even somewhat fun. I volunteer the second Sunday of every month at my church, watching the three to six year olds, so I had to be there by 9AM. Afterwards, we had a picnic lunch and a short hike at a local winery. The weather was beautiful. I did a load of laundry and packed a salad for myself and one for my mom, all before heading to church.

Then I started seeing photos of friends on Facebook who were having elaborate Mother’s Day weekend celebrations. Whole weekends celebrating motherhood while I had to share half a day with my mom. And I got pissed.

I already share my bed, my meals, my bathroom time – heck, all of my time – with the kids. And, in return, I should get one full day that really is all about me. But then, I have a mother, too.

I have quite a few friends whose mothers have already passed away. Others still whose mothers live far away or who just can’t be bothered to spend time with their daughters and grandchildren. And I am truly grateful for mine and she certainly deserves to be celebrated.

But, wouldn’t it be better if we each got a special day? At least while I’m still the one wiping my kids’ butts?

Turns out Grandparents Day is September 7 this year. I had to Google it because I knew there was one, I just didn’t know when. Grandparents Day is relatively new, and was officially declared by Congress in 1978. Well, I think it’s about time it got its due.

I’ve added a to-do item on my phone to work with my kids’ schools this August to make crafts for Grandparents Day. The year will still be fresh, and the kids, not having just celebrated Teacher and Staff Appreciation Week and struggling with end of the year burn out, will be happy to oblige.

And then next year, I’m going to switch my volunteer day at church so I don’t have to volunteer on Mother’s Day, AKA the day that will be all about me.

Are you with me, fellow mommies?

About the writer

Frankie Laursen is the author of Pretend You're Good At It, a community of parents dealing with depression, anxiety, and the many uncertainties of parenthood. She has a black belt in aikido and an unhealthy fondness for all things dark chocolate.

From Around the Web


Mynn 1 year ago

I would hope, once my children are adults, I will enjoy Mother’s Day being spoiled by my husband and enjoying knowing that my adult daughters are being honored on that day by their husbands and children. As I was throughout their childhood. Their is nothing selfish about accepting the torch from your mother and recognizing that it is now your turn. There are enough days of celebration to go around. I have not seen my mom on Mother’s Day since my oldest was born but that doesn’t mean I don’t love and appreciate her. She knows it. My kids also love that we have a special day to celebrate their mommy. It is as much for me as it is for them. Don’t listen to the negativity here. You deserve to celebrate your day in whatever way makes you happiest.

    Frankie Laursen 1 year ago

    Thank you so much. I hope I grow up to be a grandmother like you. I really do.

Cosmetic Dentists Sacramento 1 year ago

Here are five places you can advertise your small business online for free without actually placing an ad.

Make the process of ordering be stress-free
to complete at all times as possible. When looking to jump into the internet marketing realm,
first thing is first; set up shop.

Look at my site – Cosmetic Dentists Sacramento

GiGi 1 year ago

Wow. I’m shocked by the number of judgmental, rude and downright hurtful comments there are toward this mother. I am thoroughly disheartened by reading comments from mothers attacking another mother for speaking the truth. What this mother wrote is simple… she wants a day to herself. Period.

What’s the hype?? Why complicate it?? So many of you are blowing this far out of proportion; it’s just a testament to her saying she wants ONE day a year to be proud of her full-time, no paid vacations, no paid overnight shifts, no paid sick days job.

This mother pointed out how she appreciates AND celebrates her mother on Mother’s Day…she’s just looking for a day that is HER day. Everyone raise their hand who wants a day that is just to celebrate the sacrifices we make as a mother? If you’re hand isn’t up, well than, you’re full of shit.

And to tell her “one day a year” is her birthday is absurd. Birthdays appreciate multiple hats we wear in our lives. However there are distinctly unique sacrifices we make when we become mothers… large, small, and sometimes downright earth shattering …and those earn us 1 of 365 days for us to sit back and feel proud of trying our damnedest to be the absolute best moms we can be. It’s not ego. It’s not selfish. And it sure as hell isn’t a day to share or to spend looking left or right at others by “doing” for others. It’s day to look inside ourselves. To love ourselves. To appreciate our hard work. To say, I’m a kickass mommy dammit and today is MY day. Mine.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

Mirroring that of our children 364 days a year.

This is a fantastic piece. It is NOT selfish to want one day to celebrate your mommy-ness. I apologize on behalf our “mommy tribe” for some of the hurtful things written here. I completely agree with your sentiments. I look forward to your idea to find a day that’s a win-win day in my family too. Great idea. Thanks!!


Regina Dean 1 year ago

You don’t have to spend the entire day with your mom and its okay to be spoiled but you can’t eat a meal with your mother or just call her on the phone tell her you lover her and do dinner the day before or after? Your mother is still a mother. You want to be celebrated so bad tell your family your birthday is your day of celebration. As a brand new mom of a 3month old I understand how exhausting it is and how amazing it is for people to shower you with first mothers day kindness but how selfish can you possibly get? Your mother can’t celebrate mothers day because her kids are grown up? If you mother watches your kids for you, buys you little gifts or is your shoulder to cry on still then she deserves to be told happy mothers day

Amberiella 1 year ago

I prefer the multigenerational celebration, but I could see how you would want things to be separate if you don’t get along with your Mom.

My Mom and MIL are awesome, so score there; however, I will not and will never celebrate Grandparents’ Day (except for my parents/ILs I guess) because my grandmother is a narcissistic control freak who thinks she’s G-d’s gift to the world, and treats everyone like crap (like punching an 8-year-old in the stomach so hard that the kids was knocked unconscious because she {incorrectly} thought she heard a curse word), but would never admit to a thing.

This is also the same woman who randomly bitched my out at 10 because I didn’t call/do anything for her on Grandparents’ Day (even though I had done plenty for her on Mothers’ Day) when I didn’t even know it existed, and there was no reason for her to think that I did since she never mentioned it, it was never advertised, and we had never done anything for it before. Entitled much?

Rant over.

sammie 1 year ago

I like the idea of a Grandparent’s day! I really like the idea of making loved ones feel special, and while it doesn’t have to be about giving gifts or blowing your budget, it is nice to have a random day to say “Hey! You are loved. We appreciate you!” I’m a big fan of celebrating things, so we will be doing something to honor the grandparents in our lives on that day, and it will probably involve glue, glitter, and construction paper. 😉

Mallory 1 year ago

I actually feel bad for the writer of this piece. I don’t think she was really saying that grandmothers shouldn’t be celebrated on Mother’s Day or that grandfathers shouldn’t be celebrated on Father’s Day. All she was saying is that she wanted to have a whole day to do nothing, to just be, after sharing every moment of her life with the little people she is raising. I think people need to go back and re-read what she said because you’re all jumping to conclusions about how you THINK she feels. I made my mother in law a card with my two daughters, because she’s my husbands mom, but I didn’t spend Mother’s Day with her. Mother’s Day is my day. I called and wished my mom a happy Mother’s Day and gave her flowers, but again didn’t spend it with her because it’s my day.

Melissa 1 year ago

I don’t have a Mother… So I don’t have to worry about all that .. I do have a mother in law tho, and she went away for the weekend without telling ANYONE…. So I had am unexpected great day allllll about me :) lol

Samantha Howe 1 year ago

Ummm. No. Maybe if your family is super close and gets along, but no. Not for us.

Jhaylin 1 year ago

It seem as if a lot of these commentators are forgetting that she is a mother too. What mother wouldn’t want mother’s day to be about them? It’s MOTHER’S day! I understand where she is coming from. When you still raising your kids you want them to put the focus on you and you not have to worry about sharing your celebration with others. My bitth

Michelle Boykin 1 year ago

All of u who actually got to have a mothers day with ur mom and children r blessed. My ex has custody of my beautiful children because the state of TX frowns upon u when u leave ur husband for a woman. I called my mother to see wat she wanted to do Sunday she went out of town. I still have the miniature roses I got her but haven’t been able to give her. I got to talk to my 5 and 7 yr old on the phn for a few mins cuz my ex lives so far away. So even if u shared ur day or got only half a day be grateful that u got to see the ppl u love most because whether it’s all about u or about all the strong moms in ur family it’s still honoring u and all moms.

Frankie Laursen 1 year ago

Thank you for your comments! Shelly, that does sound rough. A friend of mine has to share not only with her mom but also her wife.

My daughter’s preschool said they don’t (and I guess won’t?) do a Grandparents’ Day craft. I’m leaning towards going back to what I used to do, celebrate my mom on Mother’s Day and choose another day for my husband and children to dote on me.

Sheryl, I haven’t wanted to throat punch my mom yet, but I have had numerous dreams where I just lose my shit and start screaming at her. Repressed emotions much? :-)

Frankie Laursen 1 year ago

Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate reading other people’s point of view. Some of my challenge in sharing Mother’s Day is logistical. I can’t have breakfast in bed and read for an hour if my mom wants to come over at 8:30 am. We also can’t go for a bike ride because she doesn’t know how to ride a bike.

I’m happy that some families are able to have a multigenerational day that they all enjoy. I envy them. It’s important to remember that not everyone has a happy, functional relationship with their mother. Some people just don’t resonate together, especially if they spent significant time physically apart during the formative years of childhood. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

My daughter’s preschool said they don’t (and I guess won’t?) do a craft for Grandparents’ Day. I’m leaning towards going back to what I used to do. Celebrate my mother on Mother’s Day, and choose another day for my husband and children to dote on me. Win-win.

Shelly 1 year ago

Problem is, that still leaves me choosing between my mom and my MIL because my mom would never share. No matter what I can’t win. And no matter what there’s still poop and laundry and this year, vomit. But, I love my job and the kids are priceless even though they’re gross sometimes.

Crystal Marie 1 year ago

I do both . Usually something simple for grandparents day .. Like a visit and card :)

Karen Baker 1 year ago

Let’s see how this woman feels after she has walked with and mothered her children all the way to adulthood.

    AM 1 year ago

    I agree – let’s see how she feels when her children are grown and ignore her on Mother’s Day. This is one of the most selfish and immature things I have ever read. Are you 14 years old? Good god.

Heidi 1 year ago

So funny that you wrote this because I had the exact same thought on Sunday. Until my epiphany I had always thought Grandparents Day was a useless, commercially driven holiday; but now I’m completely for it. Thanks for posting this!

Nicole Fitzpatrick 1 year ago

One of my favorite things about Mother’s Day is getting the generations of mothers together. It’s about rejoicing in the heritage of motherhood, and being thankful for the mothers still with us in our family. Of course, as the mom who is “active duty”, my family goes more out of their way to give me a break for the day, but the “retired” moms get cards and gifts too, because without them, I’d literally not be a mom at all. If you want a day just about you, throw yourself a birthday party.

Allyson Tolboe 1 year ago

I’m a mother, but I can’t imagine spending Mother’s day without my own mother or my children. Someone’s priorities are backwards…

Jill Eyerman Sherron 1 year ago

Did anyone who wrote such negative and berating comments read this line? “I have quite a few friends whose mothers have already passed away. Others still whose mothers live far away or who just can’t be bothered to spend time with their daughters and grandchildren. And I am truly grateful for mine and she certainly deserves to be celebrated” Can we not tear each other down?? Good grief. This was my first Mother’s Day without my mom and I miss her tremendously. But every year I was conflicted between wanting to be with her on Mother’s Day, which meant travel and lots of work for me, and staying home to let my little family spoil me. Sometimes we visited on Mother’s Day, sometimes we didn’t. Whether we did or didn’t had no effect on how much I loved my mom, and she knew that.

Alisha Nielson Twitchell 1 year ago

I have always done an elaborate brunch for my mom & MIL, but this year each one got their own day & I took a relaxing Sunday all to myself with my husband & little boy & it was fabulous. We took each one to do an activity that they both would live & I made them each a beautiful picnic. We all got to relax & feel appreciated. Nothing wrong with that!

Lois Groat 1 year ago

I am Joanna Kaniewski’s mother, and I agree with her. I know how very much she loves me, and she shows me that on a regular basis. But this year *she* was a mom, too, and I was not so ridiculously selfish as to expect Mother’s Day to be all about me. This one was suppose to be about her. I wanted her to start the tradition of celebrating her motherhood with her new little family. Because I had her entire childhood to celebrate mine. I feel like I am explaining this badly, but the moms with little kids needs more celebrating than I do. My job is done. I am just having fun now. I have been rewarded with Grandkids.

Renee Nowak 1 year ago

At least your mom wants to celebrate Mother’s day with you. Mine just wants Grandparent’s day.

Schanele Nicole Curtis 1 year ago

“Mothers day should be about you and them” implying that the woman who raised you, and is in fact a MOTHER, can take the backseat because it’s allll about you?

Joanna Kaniewski 1 year ago

I seriously want to slap most of these commenters.

Rebecca 1 year ago

To never have to share the holiday with my MIL? Yes, please.

    Sheryl 1 year ago


    You hit the nail on the head! 😉

    I want to throat punch my MIL!

jenna 1 year ago

Count me in!

Joanna Kaniewski 1 year ago

Don’t listen to these people. Having a day that is for your kids to celebrate you is NOT selfish, and making a big deal of grandparents day is a great way to both have that AND give your parents (and/or your husband’s) a special day of their own. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still give your mom a present, call, card, etc – but you are your children’s mother, and Mother’s Day should be about you and them! I actually already started this last year – we spent all grandparents day with my husband’s parents, made them dinner, gave presents… and we grilled with them the Saturday night of Mother’s Day weekend, but Mother’s Day was for me and my husband and son. It was lovely.

Schanele Nicole Curtis 1 year ago

Umm wut? Why should a grandparent have a fathers/mothers day AND grandparents day? That’s a bit excessive. How about not be a brat on a holiday celebrating MOTHERS and spend some time with your mother and children? Sounds more like the author is jealous of other people’s weekend festivities. We did absolutely nothing in mother’s day. I sent my own mom flowers and gave her a phone call. Mothers day is about celebrating your mom. Not yourself. Jeez can you be any more entitled?

Lydia Quinones 1 year ago

Grandparents day is good to celebrate. But because they (both your father as well as your mother, if he is in the picture) are your children’s grandparents.
If it is difficult to share mother’s day with your mom, (as I well understand because I too have Sunday morning duties) , she may well be okay with doing something for/with her on Saturday.
Hope grandparents day goes well for you! Remember Father’s Day in June! :)

Iesha Miller 1 year ago

We do both. We only get one mommy so share it with her, one day she will be gone and your kids will have elaborate dates for you. You have time to have that day to yourself. As for grandparents day it’s an extra day to shower your mom and dad with love for putting up with u and your kids lol. I say that with love. Enjoy them daily and give a little extra on mothers day, fathers Day and grandparents day.

Kelly Anders 1 year ago

How can you ” like” this post??? This is the most Ridiculous!!!!! Spoiled and self-centered thing I have ever heard!!! ‘You are lucky enough to have a living mother..who lives close enough to spend time with and your annoyed your not center stage… ??? Unless you hatched…which is highly possible after reading this nonsense.. the women that gave birth to you..raised you..guided you and LOVED you is deserving of being celebrated on mother’s day too. Regardless off who’s as s you have to wipe!!!

Tramequa Surratt 1 year ago

That Grandmother is also a Mom and she, too, would probably like some form of gift. My mother’s day consisted of some sweet art pieces from my kiddos and a Starbucks gift card from my *gasp* MIL…. Works for me….

Jeannette Messich Loretitsch 1 year ago

But she us still YOUR mother.

Nicole Fitzpatrick 1 year ago

Wait, what? A grandparents day because you don’t want to “share” Mother’s Day? Sorry, but that’s ridiculous. Stop comparing your holidays to the “elaborate” celebrations of others- it will make you much happier. Besides, they are only posting the highlight reel any way.

    Sarah McDougal 1 year ago

    Took the words right out of my mouth


Enjoying this? Then like us on Facebook