Why I Second Guess Hiring Moms

You’re a stay-at-home mom, whose children are growing more independent, and you want to reenter the workplace.

You don’t want to return to your former profession as a teacher, bank executives or lawyer because you left that life long ago. You just want a fun, little job that will provide some extra cash. But you want more than that.

You want a job to give you a sense of connection, of contributing, while actually getting a paycheck.

You want a job because you want to be reminded that you have half a brain, and are capable of using it.

You want a job because – and there’s no shame here – you’re bored, and tired of sharing everything with your family. At least you know, when you hang your coat in one of my employee lockers, you will not have to share it. Or clean it.

We sit down to chat and you immediately tell me, “I want a schedule that works for my family.”

I hear you. That’s my goal, too. I’m working 10- to 12-hour days now, until I can bring someone else on board.

You continue.

“I want to work only when my kids are in school. No evenings, no weekends. I’ll need a week off in the spring and another two weeks in the summer for family vacations. I cannot work Thursdays; I help in my kids’ classrooms. Every other Friday afternoon, I volunteer for the food pantry. But other than that, I’m totally free.”

You sit back, smile, and breathe in the aroma of freshly-baked bread.

As we talk, your voice becomes distant, fuzzy, and a new picture emerges in my mind. I’m getting home past 7 p.m. again.  My teenagers are sprawled out in front of the television, with chips and bean dip for dinner again. They are older than your kids, but they still need me. At times, I think more than when they were little.

Oh, how I would love to hire you! And here’s why:

Moms are pros at customer service. My business is customer-driven. Moms have been on the other side of the counter enough to know how customers want and should be treated.

Moms are team players; you have each other’s backs. Just like you do on the playground. Or in your neighborhoods. Or in your community groups.

Moms are fierce. You have an amazing tolerance for pain, for dealing with less-than-ideal people and circumstances, and for pushing through tough situations. You are, after all, like me, a mom.

Moms can sell my product. Who better to sell a loaf of wholesome, preservative- and additive-free, whole grain bread to my target audience – other moms – than a mom?!

Moms, you’re phenomenal. I’d love to hire you.

If only you’d work with me  – be willing to inconvenience your husband, your children, your in-laws, neighbors, and friends, not a lot, just sometimes – I’d hire you in a heartbeat.

Maybe then, we’d BOTH get what we want and need.

About the writer

When she isn't running an award-winning bakery with her husband, Tom, in St. Louis, Missouri, Judy Honigfort is raising a final teenager, cheerleading her two adult daughters, and doting on her precious grand baby.  She dreams of losing 15 pounds by giving up cookies, pretzel thins, and chardonnay. Read her chronicles of aging gracefully and other topics at hairpasteandotherlifeessentials.com

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Joan 3 weeks ago

It’s simple: if you want a job, you need to be available to work the hours needed.

Ama 2 months ago

There is nothing illegal about her stating that she doesn’t want to hire someone who comes in demanding a set schedule that doesn’t work for her business. She didn’t say she wouldn’t hire a SAHM or SAHD, just that if they come in with demands that don’t fit, she would think twice about hiring them. A small business is different than a big corporation – it has to be more particular about who fills in a position. You don’t have lots of employees so you have to make sure the ones you have fit with the company and hours. This isn’t regression – it is common sense. No one is entitled to a position.

Priya 2 months ago

Wow – this is hard to read….this is exactly why I just started an online community to help moms leap to what’s next professionally, because believe me, I’ve been there. It was so hard to leave my dream job to be a SAHM, I was met with everything from “you’re throwing your career away” to “You’re going to lose your identity” Then three years later when I was trying to re-enter the work force (after having consulted for 18 months to keep my skills “sharp”) I was still met with “sorry because of the gap on your resume, you are not an ideal candidate”. Moms need support and guidance on what to do next, NOT judgement, because there is no right answer and everyone deals with this issue in their own way. But the one constant thread is that the middle ground is really hard to navigate – either you work and have your kids in daycare, or you stay home and take care of your kids. Women who want to spend more time with their kids (not ALL their time with their kids) don’t have enough resources or support to create that balance.

Jeni 2 months ago

Wow. That’s frankly awful. You assume you completely understand another person’s circumstances (which may even be way off the mark.. Guess what- people, even moms, are all different! ), and though you sympathize with this person’s motivations, you’re still dismissive and unwilling to help out. And further, you expect someone who according to you doesn’t even really need the job to prioritize your cappy part-time bakery job over being there for their kids while they’re growing up? Again, wow.
You’re probably not fully staffed because people don’t enjoy working for a boss who doesn’t respect them as people, or care about helping them maintain work/life balance.

Joanne 2 months ago

This is an incredibly regressive article. Frankly, it’s illegal to stereotype this way when hiring. I would suggest focusing on the schedule issues and not their status as a SAHM, which you stereotyped from the minute they walked in the door. I wonder if you would treat a man differently with the same considerations. I’m sad to see this article written.

Finz 2 months ago

What an inspiring article! You know it really got me thinking this applies to so much in life- perhaps you should do a whole series: why you second guess hiring elderly folks, or how about veterans, followed, maybe, with an expose on why people from a disadvantaged upbringing make poor employees. I mean really, the possibilities are endless! You can truly take any group and pass off sweeping, stereotypical generalizations as “truth!” Surely, if you struggle to find qualified candidates to work for you, the issue most definitely is the applicants’ fault, and couldn’t possibly have anything to do with your hiring practices. Good luck with your bakery, and hopefully none of those “demanding” SAHMs just yearning to use half their brain write an attention-seeking article on how small, privately-owned specialty shops have no place in the modern mom’s life, based off a single interaction with you.

teri 3 months ago

I am sure most moms out are not like the one mom this person interviewed. I am not a SAHM but it overgeneralizes a huge number of women unnecessarily. Let’s try to encourage and motivate women not marginalize them based on one interaction.

Colleen 3 months ago

here’s a lot of truth to this and a conversation that isn’t often had about the trade offs of working vs staying at home. The reality in many jobs is that flexibility is possible when you have marketable skills and recent, relevant experience. If you take off ten years to have kids and try to reenter, you don’t have the resume to bring to the table and make those kinds of requests at a decent salary. And that’s not prejudice, that’s just life. You will start over. Just as working moms have to accept they won’t be home room parent and might travel during sporting events or only see their kids a few hours a day, sahms should know how hard it is to reenter the workforce. You deserve to know how hard it will be. While working moms know immediately what they are sacrificing, it’s not as easy to foresee how you or the market will change during the years you’re home. It’s an important conversation to have among women. And maybe we can spend less times debating the merits of each and more time finding practical ways to support each other…like sahms, maybe schedule some of those pta and Girl Scout meetings after 6 or offer to take that working moms kids during a snow delay….and maybe those working moms should be honest with SAHMs getting back into the workforce and explain more candidly what the job requires…. and when in positions to make organizational change, create better SAHM transition programs that ramp up over time and allow them to find a new balance…or create job sharing opportunities…or referrals. There are plenty of ways we can recognize and support each other’s struggles without getting defensive about their existence in the first place.

Nina 3 months ago

This was a great article. Good for you for setting standards and not yielding because of demands for a schedule that is not your choice. I would agree that the author would have the same standard for fathers as well that are interviewing for a position. I do not see a problem having such reservations when a parent sets demands about availability for work. The parents are the one looking for work at this small business, they have to accept the rules set forth by the owner/ boss. I am a single parent. I understand the obligation of my employment hours. If it is my scheduled time to work, I am working. It is not fair to the other employees nor to my employer to have to bend to my child’s schedule.

Alannah 3 months ago

I’m currently a sahm and looking to reenter the workforce. It is very, very hard for me to find a job…it has proven to be much more difficult than I thought it was going to be. I’m willing to be flexible, I’m willing to put in the work, I’m willing to put in the time, and most of all I’m willing to make sacrifices with my family so that I can regain my self confidence and yes,of course, to make a paycheck and have my own money. People don’t seem to want to hire me because I’m a mom…I’ve been told this in three separate interviews now…and I requested nothing…no special schedule or times or vacation. The only request I’ve made is that I make enough money so that I can pay for childcare and still have some type of income, otherwise what’s the point in getting a job and spending less time with my baby just to have another bill. I’m not upset with this post and I can understand an employer not wanting to hire an employee with so many demands when in fact it’s supposed to be the employer requiring things from the potential employee.

Jess 3 months ago

I agree with most of the previous comments. This is a dissapoiting regressing article and the reason a lot of women don’t want to work for a female boss. What are you trying to prove? That you are unhappy and so why shouldn’t all working mothers be unhappy? Ridiculous. Life is too short. Create the life you want to have- but don’t expect every other mother in this world to suffer like you do just so you don’t feel as bad about the life you created.

Christine 3 months ago

I’ve been a coworker to moms (both entitled and not entitled), I’ve been in a position to hire moms, I’ve interviewed as a working mom, I’m currently a working mom, and I’m a small business owner.

So yeah, I see this article from more than one point of view.

Try to pull that crazy schedule on me and you think you can because you’re a [insert whatever here]… no dice. Even if you don’t have kids and you lay this I can’t/won’t for any reason schedule acrobatics on me for any reason and just… no… Why? Because there are few better ways to telegraph to me loud and clear that you are going to be very difficult to work with.

A better approach? Admit that you have a crazy schedule (and kids) but you will try your best to make it work for your new employer. Communicate that you are willing to give and take to make the situation work for everyone as much as possible. THAT is what makes *anyone* more hireable.

And by the way, yes, being a small business owner does afford you the opportunity to create your own success – however – just because you own a small business does not guarantee that you will be wealthy or that you won’t have to work hard. We know that. We accept that. And because of that, smart small business owners are ten-times *more* picky about who they hire – even for part-time work. Why? Simple, employees are expensive to hire. Over time (6 months to a year depending on the situation) it pays off, but until then, you are operating at a loss. So we simply cannot afford to have a bad hire. So if a candidate comes in and makes a list of demands you better believe that small business owner is going to get squirrelly about hiring them!

As a small business owner, you know that no matter how fabulous your new helper is (be it part time or full time) they will *never* put in the same time or energy that you put in. Your new helper will never make the same sacrifices or take the same risks that you do. And that’s okay – it’s part of the deal. BECAUSE of that, you do everything in your power to hire the best possible people.

So you’re a mom and you want to find a part-time job with a small business who has a cute shop and flexible hours. Great! Walk in with the attitude with what you are willing to do and how you are the best person for the job. If you need flexibilty, be willing to be flexible yourself. You might be surprised just how flexible the business owner would be willing to be with you in return.

Jessica 3 months ago

This is sick. So you want to hire a worker in your bakery who is all the things you claim to be and who will share in the sacrifices you have to make as a business owner… Are you going to share your profits with her above minimum wage? Are you going to let her call the shots when she’s on duty? Are you going to let her have the same no questions asked freedom and flexibility you will gain by hiring her? She’s looking for part time work… Not a position as CEO.

Leslie 3 months ago

Do you have similar reservations about hiring fathers?

Mija 6 months ago

If you need and expect flexibility in a job, you’ve got to make up for it 100 times over. I need flexibility in my job – I’m a single mom of three – and my work gives it to me. But that means I work at home a lot, sometimes until midnight. I go into work early, early in the morning if I need to leave early. If I can’t work overtime during the week, I will make it up by going in on the weekend. Sometimes my kids have to go to work with me, but I will be there and always meet deadlines. Flexibility at work does not mean you never work and can’t be relied on, it means you have to work way harder to make sure you are contributing just as much as everyone else. I always do what I need to do at work, plus some, even if it’s not a typical schedule, and am so thankful for an employer who looks at that instead of whether I’m there 8-5 Monday through Friday. Maybe retail is not the right fit for flexibility, but those jobs do exist!

NS 6 months ago

It’s probably not a great idea to say publicly that you want to or do engage in illegal hiring practices, even if your reasons for wanting to do so seem perfectly rational from your point of view with respect to your business needs etc.

Kate 6 months ago

Reading this makes me want to sing my boss’ praises! I work full time for a very family-focused orthodontic practice. I am off every day by 4:30 in the afternoon which minimizes my kids’ time in childcare and allows me to take them to sports practice, help them with homework, cook dinner etc. On top of that, our office is closed for every holiday, the entire week of spring break, the first week of each school year, and two weeks for Christmas! I went back to work after 9 years as a SAHM because my boss asked me to come work for him (not because I was bored at home, or because we needed the money – although the extra income is definitely nice!) He knows that I am a mom first, and he wouldn’t want it any other way! If my coworkers or I receive a phone call from the school about a sick kiddo, my boss is quick to tell us to clock out and head home to take care of them. When we have staff functions or company BBQs at his house, the whole family is invited. He is someone who genuinely cares about me and my family and I know he would go out of his way to take care of us. As an employee, that makes me want to go out of my way to give back to his business! If he holds me to a performance standard, I am going to meet it. If I need to come in early one morning to help with a project – you bet! If once or twice a year he needs me on a Saturday for a special event – I’m there!

Danielle 7 months ago

I think the attitude here is totally misplaced. I would think a business owner would appreciate knowing a candidate’s availability. As a mom, my availability is my availability. I have priorities and prior commitments. Also, this is a two way street. If the job is part time, minimum wage, and/or temporary, the employer isn’t willing to commit to the employee. So why should they make that job their number one priority? If it costs more to cover a baby sitter and cost of commuting, then don’t expect me to be available during times when I would need to pay a babysitter for kid coverage. But even so. Is that not what an interview is for? To determine if there’s a good fit for both parties? If you don’t want me to waste your time with an interview, post the type of hours needed in the job listing. I’ll self screen. If it only says “flexible schedule” then yeah, what the hell, I’ll see what happens.

Meg 7 months ago

Only a complete moron would walk into a job interview and start immediately demanding anything. I worked as a retail manager for 15 years and while occasionally that person walked through my door, it was rare. Most people (yes, even moms!) are trying to be as flexible and open to your requirements as they possibly can be. It’s easily avoided by being specific in your ad about the required working hours. I’m a SAHM now and would not even bother applying for any retail job because I know I can’t work the hours when I’d likely be needed the most. it’s one of the main reasons I made the decision to stay at home. In a couple of years my kids will be completely independent. Then no one will want to hire me because I haven’t worked in so long. You can’t win as a mom really, and that’s kind of sad.

Nicole 7 months ago

I just got out of a job where I had a crazy schedule (1-15+ hour day on, 2 off type of thing). I have a young one and it’s hard finding a sitter that can work with the schedule I had, but hubby and I found one and made it work (his schedule is REALLY messed up too). I am about to start a job that gives me more regular hours. I told them I was willing to work weekends in exchange for two days off in the week for doctor’s appointments and speech therapy for Little One. I also said that I’d prefer to work days and if I could have a schedule that offers the chance to be there when my kid wakes up OR goes to bed, that’d be awesome, but I’d work what they asked me too. I got hired. And I’m excited for it, because it leaves open time to be with my family while still getting hours and being a contributing employee. We also will be using our sitter more, but at the same time, it’ll be more regular hours instead of crazy long days like before. I wasn’t offended by this article at all. She’s not saying she’s against hiring mom’s, just the ones that immediately demand a certain schedule with no consideration for the employer.

M 7 months ago

I think the author is spot-on. Her priority is her business, not your precious kids.

That being said, I’m a single mom to a six year-old who is severely disabled. This means two things: 1) I HAVE to work because I don’t have a husband will contribute an income (I’m an attorney working about 50 hours a week, 60 when getting ready for trial). 2) I also HAVE to be able to leave at the drop of a hat when I get a call from the school that my child has had another seizure and they just called an ambulance. So far, my employer has been cool, but I can’t expect him to roll over every time I want flexibility. Our clients depend on us, too.

Trista 7 months ago

I agree with the author 100%. She is running a business. Let’s be honest, a flexible schedule is what most of us want. But why hire someone with such specific demands/requests when you can hire someone who is available when you need them most? It’s a small business. In an ideal world, there would be give and take by both employer and employee.

Debbie 7 months ago

I was very fortunate that I was able to find a high paying position that allowed me to work full-time from home. This allowed me some flexibility picking up the kids or being there when they got home from school and I loved that I could do a load of wash or start some dinner during my normal business day. However, my having children never interfered with my job and I worked at least 40 hours, if not more, every week. I would sneak in some work when the kids were sleeping and if I was needed at the office, I figured out a way to be there. I never felt entitled to special treatment just because I had children.

During the recession my employer closed shop and I went back to an office environment and I can see the author’s point of view. I cannot believe the entitlement some of these moms have. They constantly leave the office for the most inane reasons. We even had one mom leave the office 5 hours early one day because her 15 year old had a headache and she felt she was needed at home. Unfortunately this seems to be the norm. The lack of work ethic is incredible. It’s disruptive and difficult for others in the workplace to have to be inconvenienced because you feel everyone should work around your schedule. And before you say I don’t understand, hear me out. When I went back to working outside the home, my youngest was 16 and fighting two life-threatening diseases (cancer and epilepsy) and yet I didn’t expect special treatment. Doctor’s appointments were early morning, late evening or on the weekend so that they didn’t interfere with my work schedule or I would group them together on one day and take PTO making sure to never exceed what was allowed. I am the only person inconvenienced by my family’s needs. I get up early, go to bed late, use my weekends for errands and give up family vacations. I make the sacrifices for my family. I don’t expect my employer to do so.

Nichole 7 months ago

I’m a mother of 2 boys. I don’t think this post (or some of the comments below) is really looking at both sides of the story. I was once a single mother. Thankfully at that time I had a lot of family help when it came to babysitting so I could work a flexible schedule to make sure I provided for my son. I’m now remarried, but my husband works a job that has him in at 7:30am until 10pm on occasion. We never know when he will have to work that late. My mother also currently has cancer and cannot help with any babysitting. As hard as my husband works, financially it’s not enough to cover everything. I have to work to help out with some bills. Due to my husband’s job and my mother being sick, my availability is limited. I can honestly only work while my children are at school. I work 3 days a week. Maybe the author should understand that while there are some out there who just prefer a morning schedule, there are also those that have no choice. Also, as the owner you need to be prepared to hire only those who can work evenings and be prepared to pick up any slack in a schedule. That’s a risk you took in being a business owner.

Laura 7 months ago

I was offended when I read this as well, but then I realized that this woman owns a bakery. Honestly, most of her employees are probably teenagers and retirees. Like most fast food places and such. I’m sure she picks up the majority of the work herself. The way a lot of small business owners do. She’s probably desperate for good, committed, long term , stable employees. That don’t need to make a substantial salary. And that is probably REALLY hard to find. I am a mom who works part time, doing a job that I find great satisfaction in and I make my own schedule and good $. I can do this because I have a skill that is not one everyone has. I am an R.N. I float from unit to unit in a very busy level 1 trauma facility. Is my job easy? Hell no!!! Do I sometimes wish I could go to a job where the most stressful thing I need to worry about is running out of baked goods??? Hell yes! But, we all know, we can’t have our cake AND eat it too. Neither the sahm who wants to make a little extra cash without inconvenience to her family life, or the small business owner who wants a dedicated reliable employee who can work flexible hours.

sudenkorento 7 months ago

WOOO……Seems like this hit a little close to home here for a bunch of people on here. :) All sounding a little familiar, is it?

Here’s the deal – if you’re a part-time employee, you don’t get to call the shots. Period. It’s presumptuous to go in to a job interview and demand special treatment because you have kids. Yes, some (in fact, MOST) jobs are flexible and understand and that’s wonderful, but you can’t just go in and hand pick your schedule and refuse to do the “crappy” work (evenings, weekends, holidays) because you OMG HAVE KIDS AT HOME. Guess what? NOBODY wants to work those hours. You should not have automatic exempt status because you decided to have children, and people who do not have to smile and eat dirt.

Is this author saying ALL moms are like this? That ALL SAHMs come in with this attitude and inflexibility? Not at all! She’s just saying that the ones who do (and as a former hiring manger, there are definitely ones who do!) make it difficult to hire them. She knows that if she hires this person, she’s going to have to do so at a cost to her employees that already work there and will have to make up for this person’s lack of flexibility. Where’s the fairness in that?

Before you get all up in arms, consider that there has to be a BALANCE of work life and personal life…..this means on BOTH sides.

RoyalBird 7 months ago

Why I will wait and rejoin the workforce after my kids are grown. My kids need me now, even when they are teenagers. That means giving up money and, apparently, using my brain. Although, I feel like I use my brain quite a lot being the manager of this household. I manage all the bills and often reteach my kids schoolwork concept that their teachers failed to get them to understand. I have to pen emails to teachers and other staff at the kids’ schools that need to be forceful yet express understanding and kindness. I choose to teach my own kids preschool and spend time preparing lessons and researching child development issues. I wouldn’t call that not using my brain. I’m only offended because she insinuates that a stay-at-home-mom doesn’t use much of her brain. I don’t need to have a paying job to prove that I am worth something. I already know that seven people will seriously have issues if I were to suddenly disappear. They need me more than any paying job does right now.

Really 7 months ago

Reading comprehension seems to be lost on majority of the commenters. 1) The interviewee volunteered that they were a mother along with an unrealistic schedule of availability. 2) The interviewer wants to hire moms, but it is pretty obvious they had one too many moms with inflexible schedules and finally got aggravated about it. All you people ranting about how women need to support women are sure doing a good job of putting this women down and not thinking twice about it.

Sarah S. 7 months ago

I read this and laughed and laughed. i work with so many women who have such an attitude of entitlement when it comes to how they think our employers are supposed to “work with them” when it comes to their kids needs. how many think that they shouldn’t have to get written up because they had to stay home AGAIN because of a sick kid. how many think that they shouldn’t have to use their PTO when they have to stay home because the kids don’t have school that day. How much it sucks that they ONLY got paid for 4 of the 8 weeks they stayed home on maternity leave..
If the hypothetical mother in this article wants to set her own schedule and have some “adult time” she should try volunteering somewhere that she can drop in at her convenience.

Autumn 7 months ago

I’m offended by this too. I’m a single mom. I don’t have a husband to inconvenience, or in-laws, and I don’t have many friends where I live, but they all work and have kids too. I have some family, but my sister is an alcoholic and my mom is overworked and constantly sick, plus she has no patience with kids. My son is too young to care for himself and he has some behavioral and emotional problems so I need to keep things consistent. I chose a part time job and have been there the hours needed. I increased my part-time hours and now that my son is in school I did make some requests to work during his school day but that still allows me to meet my hours. I also am now taking some time off based on school holidays or staff days, but I’ve earned a lot of vacation. I think family should come first and I resent that this mom was immediately judged and assumptions were made about what kind of support she may have in order to work with the owner.

Cindy 7 months ago

I am willing to bet anything the business owner is expecting the mom to be more flexible, but isn’t offering a good wage, much less a living wage. Lots of employers are getting over qualified moms who settle for lower wages in exchange for the flexibility. If you expect a mom to work as many hours and as late as the boss, you should expect to pay her as much as the boss – or even significantly more than most of these jobs pay.

IndyAmy 7 months ago

I’m *NOT* a SAHM, and I was offended by the tone of this article as well as the unapologetic lumping of all SAHMs together because of the actions of a few. Let’s take the chip off your shoulder, shake loose all the judgment and preconceived notions and start again, shall we?

Susan 7 months ago

What makes you think they won’t ever be willing to “inconvenience” their families?

Jill 7 months ago

I can’t believe y’all published this shit. Women need the support of other women. If any potential employee made unreasonable schedule demands, I wouldn’t hire him or her. Don’t lump all working mothers together. Again, I can’t believe you’d put this out in the ether for idiots to use to validate their decisions not to hire mothers. Either you meet my criteria for an employable worker or you don’t. It has nothing to do with being a mother and everything to do with being professional.

Liz 8 months ago

Ha ha second guessing…no sexing

Liz 8 months ago

Vicki– I agree with you 100%. I have 2 littlies under 3yrs and don’t want to put them into full time care- I work from home on a flexible schedule. I was upfront with my employer on what I needed and in return what I could offer.I get flexible hours/decent pay and can be there for my boys- my employer gets a highly qualified, dedicated, loyal enployee- I spend as much of my personal hours thinking of ways to grow her business than any other employee and work with her to implement them when i clock on. Although the author lists why hiring a mum is beneficial in SO many ways by not hiring or sexing guessing it is missing the valuable resource that mums are to a business. Her loss..

katra rose 8 months ago

Do not take this as being snippy – Volunteering is a good way to reconnect to the outside world and feel like you are making a contribution. It also will allow you to pick up some new skills. For example – being a chair or co-chair of your school’s annual fair or major fundraiser. This gives you the opportunity to be a CEO. Once you do re-enter the job market you will be able to improve your resume. Volunteering is still working and it also allows you to have a flexible schedule

Vicki 8 months ago

When my kids were little, I needed flexibility in the work place….my employers trade off?? An over qualified employee who worked hard, was incredibly loyal and provided outcome that far surpassed what they thought they needed. I was thrilled to be able to get my kids off the bus, and yet I know my employer got the better end of the deal. If employers look at what they are getting while the Mom is on the clock, maybe they can focus less on what they think they aren’t getting.

Kim 8 months ago

I agree with this article. Of course it doesn’t apply to all SAHMs but there are people like this applicant out there. I am a single mom that went to school full-time while working 45 hrs a week so I could start a career. If you want a job, you need to work within that businesses guidelines. If you don’t need/want one then don’t do so. Understand that the job you’re applying for is not a hobby for the owner or the next applicant.

Cherie 8 months ago

Yes, the mom in the story did have a lot of time ‘demands.’ But did the ad say flexible hours? Did it detail a certain number of hours/day or days/week? Did it say “requires evenings and weekends?” The business owner needs to make her needs known so potential hires don’t waste their or her time interviewing for a job they can’t fill. I also don’t think the mom should’ve volunteered the info about her family time needs, & it’s illegal in US for employers to ask. Volunteering such personal information before a job offer is a good way to not be offered the job because people have read stories like this & will stereotype moms as needing lots of time off. And, as a business owner making a profit and owning the company, you should expect to be making more of a sacrifice than an employee who is working for an hourly wage. Duh! If you want to have more flexible hours you need to hire more employees and make less profit. That’s the tradeoff for owning your own business.

Roma 8 months ago

I don’t have a problem with helping you out as long as you help me out, you want me to work nights i need to make a bit more then the average person so i can hire a babysitter. weekends not a problem my husband can rip his hare out for once lol. i will gladly go back to work and inconvenience my in-laws all i ask are for my kids birthday off and every third weekend i get off.

Chris 8 months ago

Perfect example why the American work standards are poor. Many European countries have laws to provide mothers plenty of maternity leave and a child care support system for mothers who return to work.

Adrienne Kirschner 8 months ago

Well this just made me feel like shit. Thanks for that.

H 8 months ago

I see both sides of this. as a mom i am lucky that the company i work for understands a work/life balance and does not require me to work more than 40 a week as a store manager. but i agree that when anyone comes in for an interview and states a very restricted schedule mom or not i am more than likely not going to hire them because that makes my job as a boss that much more difficult than it needs to be. Understand that who ever is running the business has to think about more than what just you and your family needs.

ColdWaffles 8 months ago

I think anyone walking into an interview with demands like that is crazy, why attribute that to mothers? #notallmothers
I’d love to go back to work someday but I understand that you actually have to work X hours if you want to job and I’m pretty sure many mothers understand this too. As a woman and a mother, this article really saddens me especially as its written by a female owner. Job discrimination because I’m a mom, really?

workingmomof2 8 months ago

As working mom, I completely understand where she is coming from . We have seen too many applicants who demand this and that when they haven’t even done shot for the employer. There is a business to run and employer pays you-it is not easy to run business!! Who knows how much long nights and weekends that she had put down before she has enough money to open her own bakery. Yeah, money management people. Applicants should find work that works with the employer’s schedule, or together,but certainly not the other way around. Get real!

Momofthree 8 months ago

Some of you need some help with reading comprehension. The author actually said she would love to hire moms, but they need to be flexible about the schedule. I don’t see her ending up in court because she can’t hire someone that isn’t available for the hours needed.

Anonymous 8 months ago

Way to stereotype a large population. So all SAHM’s are that demanding? This article was a waste of my time.

Are you kidding me? 8 months ago

Kristen posted a comment to the effect that this is OK, because an employer needs workers who will fulfill their needs, so maybe the mom needs to find somewhere else. And if she is met with this kind of treatment at every single job, then what? Employers need to stop expecting their employees to be at their beck and call. They are not slaves. Yes, they are paid to do what the company/employer needs, but within reason. There is absolutely no reason to discount a mom as a valid employee just because she needs to work a certain set of hours. I’d much rather see a mom asking not to work weekends because she needs time with her family than a 20-something saying they can’t work weekends because they want to go out and drink with their friends.

Nzmum 8 months ago

Here’s the thing. You OWN the company, and therefore have way more opportunity to create your own wealth and security. And that comes at a cost to your personal life.
You can’t expect your workers to sacrifice and commit the same thing for a wage.

RM 8 months ago

It’s a little unfair to think that moms who want to work CAN work with you. I have to be picky looking for work because my kiddo has therapy appointments. We’ve no cash for daycare. I have daily meetings about his behavior and progress in school. I can work at night, but only after my husband is home so that SOMEONE is home with the kid… but he works late. After all, I can’t leave a 6 year old with some health issues alone, like you can with the teens.
On top of that, I don’t have transportation, because there are no buses in our neighborhood.
So if I am willing to throw away any time to myself, and bike to you, and work 8pm-5am doing whatever job you give me, no matter how crappy… Please trust that I am making enough concessions to get a job, and can’t “work with your schedule” more than I already am.

hannah 8 months ago

This seems like a really sweeping statement to apply to all SAHMs returning to the workforce. It may be venting about a particular person but by generalizing it puts down moms everywhere. Shouldn’t we be supporting each other and working together to create happy lives for ourselves and our kids?

Echo 8 months ago

As a working mother who recently lost her job due to discrimination as a mother of a young child, trying to find a new job is difficult. Yes, I do not want to work nights and weekeneds, beause I do not have childcare for those times. Not because I am being prissy. And well, I will never get these years back with my daughter. I would love to not have to wokr but neither my husbnd or I make enough (as with many families these days). Most of the moms I know work well under pressure, are hard workers, and should not be discounted simply because they are parents. Maybe if the US had a more healthy work/life balance anyhow like other some coutries this wouldn’t be an ongoing problem.

amanda 8 months ago

id like to see the ad that this mother saw and interviewed for… if you stated the hours you were hiring for then yes, she was probably expecting too much.. if you listed the job as having “flexible hours” then YOU are completely out of line. as a mother who works out of the home during the day, and who is looking for a job during the evening, i would have done the same thing as her if a job had been listed as flexible.. i dont have access to a sitter or a car during the day. my fiance and i share a car and he works during the day, as do i from home.. so i absolutely could not work during the day and during an interview, you could bet your ass that i will make that clear.. i also don’t want to work weekends, simply because that’s my time to spend with my family. am i picky> maybe. but that’s the great thing, i GET TO BE! i WANT to work, i dont have to. we’re getting by just fine currently. as an employer, shouldn’t you want someone who genuinely WANTS to work for you instead of someone who has to for financial reasons? people who only seek work for financial reasons and not to fulfill themselves tend to resent their job, complain, and not give 100% people who genuinely want to be there are positive, upbeat, hard working employees. so if that’s the type of employee you want, maybe you should be a little more flexible.

Kristen 8 months ago

After reading just a few of the other comments, I had to say something. This is not unfair AT ALL. This is business. Employers hire people that meet their needs. The mom who has limited availability is not meeting the requirements this employers needs. The mom looking for employment needs to find something to work with her schedule. fantastic! This particular employer is not it.

Kiki 8 months ago

Why don’t you offer betYet pay? Something that is more in-line with a living wage? I bet your overqualified super experienced candidates would have more flexibility, they could hire a babysitter! Not all businesses are lucky enough to exploit the marginalized mom workers so maybe you could try paying low wages for flexible hourly part-time work to young adults or you could just not pay them at all and call them interns!

Becky 8 months ago

1. Family SHOULD come first
2. My husbands job IS more important because it pays my bills
3. Lastly, women need to applaud each other for each “job” we do, not knock one another. I feel for you for HAVING to work those hours, don’t kick me because I DO NOT have to….

Victoria 8 months ago

I just resigned my part time job for that reason, I had a fixed term contract and could have stayed but they were making my life impossible and bullying all the time for being a SAHM. I worked with them part time in the past untill i got pregnant with my second child, i earned my flexibility but they were not comfortable with that, however they left the doors open for me to come back, so i did. but from the beginning it was a nightmare, they schedule mandatory meetings out off my office hours and the meetings didn’t start on time and i had to get back to my kids and the next day the first thing i see is a memorandum for that reason. the payment was low but i was happy to keep with my career , I felt so sad but resigning was the best thing to do, because no matter all the efforts I did, like working late night hours or sometimes getting one hour earlier in the office to get things done, they wanted me for improvised meetings and events, also I was the only mom and most of my coworkers were college graduates with no experience and responsibilities, so they were willing to live in the office if necessary and never expressed their concerns and opinions to the employer. I did. I think being a mom changed me in a beautiful way because I am openly honest and instead of talking behind my boss’s back I always made clear my rights. my boss didn’t like that and pressured me to resign, i got proof , i could sue her. but we were high school friends I know her parents and the best side of her. i have feelings, and I have no desire on wasting more time with this. the conclusion is that this world is wrong because moms need to be protected and empowered. that what my new project is about, i would find other income from home and give all my free time to that project so my daughters will find a better place to be moms and professionals with no shame.

Sophie 8 months ago

This is completely unfair. Yes, some moms look for work just for kicks and are demanding. But guess what? So are a lot of people these days. A recently graduated 21 year old told me he rejected a job “because they demanded too much”.

Also, when I read things like that I wonder: 1. What did your add say? If you advertise a flexible job in hopes of attracting an overqualified individual this is what you get. 2. What is the pay you’re offering? Are you expecting someone to work all hours for minimum wage?

Finally, it’s really nice of you as a woman and a mother to condemn working mothers because of ONE person you met. Thanks for giving everyone else an excuse to not hire a perfectly qualified, willing to work as hard as required woman because she has (or might someday have) children.

fdevans08 8 months ago

We’re not all like this. I won’t actually start my career until I am done having kids.

Suz 8 months ago

Not hiring a person because of their family situation is discrimination. Is she the best candidate for the job? Sounds like it. Does she really HAVE to be there on Thursdays, but the rest of the days she’s kicking ass at her job? Just a thought here, but maybe you need to re-prioritize your life if you don’t like getting home that late.
Kudos to the interviewee for making her schedule clear from the beginning and not being a flake!

Betsy 8 months ago

OK, I’ve been busted. I returned to work as a lawyer and on top of half day Thursdays have silently carried over the other conditions. This lady has a point.

Andy 8 months ago

I have mad respect for this woman. I was a pastry chef in my pre-kids life. I left it because the hours are hell when you have littles. I’ve been out of the field for five years and would love to get back in the game, but don’t know if I can.

Tracy 8 months ago

Yep. As a hiring manager I see this all the time. It’s interesting that the women usually spouting off about demanding “equal pay” as their male counterparts are the first ones to demand these sorts of exceptions. If you want to get paid like them – work like them.

Tori 8 months ago

What a demeaning article! Pay your employees enough to make it worthwhile for them to put their children in a quality daycare, and they will probably be willing to work more flexible hours.

Kristi 8 months ago

I work full time nights and PT whenever I get scheduled for a retailer. I would love to have a job that fulfills my families need too but as a divorced Mom of 2 I also know I cant be picky. I do have 2 year plans to make it possible though but it involves opening my own business.

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