I have spent the last five years mastering the art of how to be a good friend to other mothers. From eating Crisco straight out of the can to leaving floaters in my guest toilet, I can say that I’m a better friend now than I’ve ever been. Lucky for you, I’m sharing my top 10 tips…
10 Tips on How to be a Good Friend
1. Be an average-sized person. Do you like hanging out with really skinny people that make you feel fat? Me neither. That’s why I eat ho hos and bon bons on a daily basis. I never want to make my friends feel fat while they’re hanging out with me. Sometimes I get a little too thin, and when I see this happening, I just eat more Crisco straight out of the can. It’s the least I can do for my friends.
2. Don’t do a great job cleaning your house. I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m at someone’s house, and I see a little counter-top clutter, I feel more comfortable. And – a dirty toilet or fingerprints on the bathroom mirror? Thank the Lord – I feel like a normal person. I work hard to make sure my house is never too clean for guests – and I can always count on my dog or one of my kids to make it smell like a giant fart, which I think is a nice touch.
3. Make sure your kids scream bloody murder while you’re on the phone. My friends know that when they talk to me on the phone, they’re going to hear my kids yelling and screaming. I like to think of this as a special gift I can give my friends. It either makes them feel totally normal when their kids are also screaming in the background. OR – it makes them feel like they are great mothers because their kids are NOT screaming in the background.
4. Burn dinner when you have dinner guests. When you have dinner guests, it’s usually a good idea to royally mess up something – just to make everyone feel like great cooks themselves.One Thanksgiving I purposely left the bag of guts inside the turkey and made a big show of taking it out of the cooked bird while we were at the dinner table. Everyone immediately felt like they were better than me. Mission accomplished.
5. Never look too put together. This is a tough one for me, because I tend to be fairly put together. But before I leave the house, I try to mess myself up a little bit so that no one feels dumpy when they’re with me. Sometimes I smear a little baby poop on my pants or on my shirt. I’ve been known to tear holes into the knees of my jeans… you get the idea.
6. Forget your kid somewhere. I haven’t done this yet, but I’m keeping it in my back pocket in case of a friendship emergency. Forgetting your kid somewhere pretty much guarantees that no matter which one of your friends is having a bad day – they’re still a better mother than you!
7. Update your Facebook status wisely. You will never see me posting things on Facebook like, “My kids LOVE picking up their toys” or “Oh my gosh, I have to buy myself smaller jeans (again)!”
No, you won’t. Because I am a good friend.
Instead, I post things like: “Man – this lice just won’t go away.” or “Bedbugs suck!” or “How did I manage to gain 15 pounds this week?”
Be a good friend – think before you Facebook.
8. Stop cleaning your minivan. Minivans were made for smashed goldfish crackers, spilled milk, stinky socks, and maybe a little vomit. Once I stopped cleaning mine, my friends felt normal. And I found that it helped to ward off any minivan jealousy from my friends that haven’t gotten theirs yet.
9. Wear your pajamas everywhere. No matter what I’m wearing, I feel amazing when I see another mother wearing Sponge Bob pajama pants while she’s dropping her child off at preschool. Seriously. You want to be a great friend? Rock the PJs in public!
10. Leave some floaters. I always make sure I have a few floaters in the guest toilet, especially when company is coming over. Nothing makes people feel like they’re a better all-around person than me than finding a few floaters in my potty.
Some are easier to implement than others, but once you get the hang of it, we can all be better friends!






{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, man! I just cleaned the floor of the minivan. Should I go out there and sprinkle some of it back over the rug?
Stephanie recently posted..BFF Application Form
If you have kids & a dog like mine, don’t bother — they’ll re-dirty the rug (and the minivan) before you’re done reading the next blog post!
Yup – what she said – it’ll be junked up again in no time. Just remember not to clean it again! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
From the looks of this (hilarious!) list, I am Friend of the Year. I am waiting for my tiara to arrive.
Thekitchwitch recently posted..Just Write: The Februarys
It’s on its way! ;)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Love this list. Love Anna!
ilikebeerandbabies.com recently posted..Baby Registry 101 (What you should really register for)
The feeling is mutual!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I am an awesome and genuine friend, because I’ve done nearly all of these things without even trying!
Except “being an average sized person.” Why settle for average when you can be way above average?
Great point!!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Love it! I’ve found there’s a fine line between making your friends feel like they’re normal, and making them think you’re a total mess, and they don’t want to associate.with you!
Hmmm…. that’s true. I always try to pretend like I was right in the middle of cleaning or just about to start. Definitely something that takes some practice. :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
We would be best friends because I have all of this going for me except the mini van, but I need to pop out a few more kiddos before I upgrade. (Yes, I consider a mini van an upgrade)
Momchalant recently posted..Bath Time Mayhem
You are one smart woman! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I had a friend who needed to read this list. She was tiny, well dressed, hair was perfection, her house was neat, nary a cluttered surface to be seen. She managed to cook delicious nutritious appetizers when we come over for beer and football game (while I had store bought chips and dip). The icing on the cake? This was before I was even pregnant with my son! We no longer hang out (through no known fault of my own) but man I wanted to be just like her! Maybe I crossed the line with looking like a complete case.
I love that you didn’t even have kids yet!!! HA!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I am clearly an awesome friend.
Well, except for #10. :)
Alison recently posted..The Things They Do
Yeah..I’m with you Alison on #10 – that’s where I draw the line…LOL. I’m a terrible friend in that department, all my toilets are clean. :-)
Nicole @MTDLBlog recently posted..Rolling with It #ShareYourLife
It’s okay – 9 out of 10 still makes a pretty excellent friend in my book! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Well, darn. I should have a TON of irl friends!
Maybe your pajama pants aren’t bright enough? That might help! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
This is HYSTERICAL!
Nicole @MTDLBlog recently posted..Rolling with It #ShareYourLife
I am becoming a better friend every day! Go me!!
wendy @ mama one to three recently posted..This Comes With 40
Woo hoo! You’ll be the best friend ever pretty soon!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Love this, I have done some of these. But I don’t have any friends so I don’t have to do the rest haha.
Oh. . .my. . .god. . !!! I am the best friend EVER!!!! I never even realized!!! I am awesome!
See? It’s really an art to be such a great friend!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I’ve managed to keep a lot of friends by giving all the credit of a clean house, well cooked meals and my overall sanity to my housekeeper. And then I give them her number. Friend of the year award coming my way!
Absolutely!!! (And can you send me her number?) :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Ok, now I don’t feel so bad about my messy house and dirty floors and toilets.
Mercy recently posted..Life Lessons Can Be Found Anywhere
Feel bad? No way – be proud! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Either someone has been stalking me to see how I do things or we have a lot in common! Either way, this post is genius.
Didn’t you know? I’m your neighbor…
Okay – totally kidding. That was weird, wasn’t it? :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I actually had the Thanksgiving incident happen to me this past year, not on purpose. I’m sure I made my SIL feel like a better cook.
See? So in a way, it WAS on purpose – to make your SIL feel awesome! What a great gift to give!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
This is so funny that it caused me a Poise Pad moment. How about making it a poster that we can buy on Cafepress?
“Poise Pad” moment – story of my life! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I need better friends….maybe I’ll just buy them the crisco. Haha this is awesome! Thanks!
You’re a genius!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Make sure your kid never stars in anything…no leads in the play, no president of the student body, no top athlete. If your kids slips up and does one of these things, make sure no one finds out.
Grown and Flown recently posted..Great Parents
I used to be a terrible friend… clean house, gourmet food for playdates, the works. Then I had twin boys and now I am a GREAT friend.
Nothing like a set of twins to make everyone a great friend! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
One major faux paus, Anna — you look too slender and perfect and put together in your profile pic for any of this to be real. How about I send you a photo of myself, with my hairstyle a time warp mixture of 80′s Big Hair and 00′s Bedhead, to better illustrate your “I’m a big fat mess” persona? :-)
Bwahahaha! Off to eat some more Crisco! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I’ve always said that the dog fur and grit that the dogs track in, need to be left for the kids. I’m so thoughtful — it’s all about boosting their immune systems. Your kid wants to lick the dog toy? Go ahead! He won’t get the plague when he hits pre-school. You can thank me later.
Who said dogs and kids needed separate toys? Mine prefers the dog toss to his own!
I’ve pretty much nailed the cleaning out the car! I usually make it look extra dirty when I know one of my mom friends will be driving with me. ;)
Tanya recently posted..The Best WordPress Anti-Spam Plugins for 2012-2013
Now THAT is a good friend!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I would be the best friend you ever want to have in life. You would NEVER feel like the sloppiest person or mom. Living proof right here.
Because I’m a good person. Thanks for reminding everyone!
Joy recently posted..Dear DVR, I love and hate you
Clearly we need to be friends IRL!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
I do them all, but still don’t have friends :(
All girls I know are jealous and talking how I’m doing phd with 3 kids and expecting #4 while they can’t even read a free books.
Maybe should add ” not to work your future” to the list
You’re right. Definitely don’t try to achieve anything – that’s totally crossing the line! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Finally people agree perfection is overrated! :)
zeemaid recently posted..Getting Organized Tips with Barbara Reich
I am the BEST FRIEND EVER!!!
Loved this :)
MILF Runner recently posted..Socks Giveaway! Bonus topic: why I’m annoyed at DailyMile
Best Friend Ever trophies – coming soon!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist
Love this! My minivan is practically a science experiment–that’s for sure.
Nina recently posted..This is Seven
I am the best friend anyone could ever ask for then!!!
Mom Off Meth recently posted..Basketball
I literally almost shot tea out of my nose reading and laughing at this, esp the last one! Hilarious!
Jennifer recently posted..Whose Birthday is it Anyway?
I think that number ten should actually be number two on the best friend list. Just because it would be appropriate. And funny. Yea, that too.
…I was going to say it would be apropos… Only misspell it as après poo… But you get where this whole thing is going fast…
You are amazing! Yes, yes, and yes! Too-skinny people tend to scare me, as does anyone who has their hair done before preschool drop-off. Reeks of suspicious robot-likeness vs. likable humanness!
Meredith recently posted..Loving Every Minute!
I love these! You are so selfless, and I bet you have a ton of friends!
I actually did forget my kid…I took her to the gym daycare, worked out, then went home without her and made myself a 3 egg omelete. It wasn’t until my husband came downstairs and asked where she was that it dawned on me. In my defense, it was Veterans Day, she would have normally been in school.
Dang! So close, yet so far away! I THOUGHT I was doin a pretty good job of being a friend, but lo and behold, I can count them on one hand. Okay, more like two fingers.
At home, I spend the whole day in pjs and am lucky if my hair gets brushed before the hubby gets home, yet somehow I always manage to put on real clothes, do my hair, AND apply makeup before having people over or leaving the house.
Thanks so much for helping me to identify my shortcomings. I will have to make immediate corrections to get my friendships back on track!
LOVE THIS!! You can definitely be my friend ;) You have a wicked sense of humor–thank you for sharing it with us!!!
TheHeadacheslayer recently posted..Vogue Influencer Network
This is funny!! Thank you for this list. I actually have left a messy house on purpose to make a friend feel more comfortable!! :) Funny and so true
AJ Collins recently posted..And the LIEBSTER goes to…
Done and done!
This is the best list ever. They should make Public Service Announcements out of this.
Heather @ Kraus House Mom recently posted..Stella Goes to School
Can we be friends? Sounds perfect to me! Great post.
Angela recently posted..A little wine with my quiet
Yes, yes, yes! I saw a friend at a museum this weekend, and we decided to plan a play date for the next day. We both looked at each other and said, “My house is a mess!” We purposefully didn’t decide which house to go to the next day so that both of us would feel okay not cleaning up.
Jessica Smock recently posted..What Does Feminism Have to Do With Intensive Parenting?
your list made me realize that I am damn near close to the perfect friend. thanks for the post!
I feel so much better about the green water in the toilet in the kids’ bathroom. I’m not a bad mother/housekeeper… I’m a good friend.
Jennifer recently posted..Time keeps on slipping {Just Write}
Can I swap my Taurus for a minivan since we don’t have one? It fits the rest of the description!
Also, I have to swap my pajama pants (which I don’t own, weird I know) for the oversized sweat shirt with grease stains. Otherwise, I’m an amazing and wonderful friend!
Great list. Love it. People are our friends because we make them feel at home and this list can sure do that. Really like the not having the house so clean.
There is nothing worse than walking into someones house and feeling like you better not even sit down. You might want to throw a few dishes in the sink also and let them know that the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. You just haven’t gotten around to unload yet.
Thanks for the smiles.
Debbie
Debbie recently posted..The Shocking Truth About Violence in Today’s Society.
# 7 & #10 killed me! Thanks!
#2 is so true!! Nothing like walking into a spotless house to make you feel inferior. ;)
Mama D recently posted..Ain’t That The Truth
haha, the last one made me spew my coffee. One time my son save a green floater for three days so his older brother could come and see it on a visit home. Mega gross. lol
Pam @Mommacan recently posted..The Case of the Five Mile Laundry Pile.
Oh, don’t forget dropping the f-bomb every now and then in conversation. I always feel at ease when a Mom I feel seems so perfect and sweet drops a nice F bomb! You list just made me laugh so hard….I thank you for that :)
I laughed out loud with each new entry. I also find being a good friend easy, when meeting her at a restaurant for lunch or dinner.