10 Tips on How to be a Good Friend

Anna Luther

Anna Luther

Anna Luther is the mom behind the blog, My Life and Kids, where she strives to make you feel better about your messy, crazy, fabulous life. Find her on Facebook, on Pinterest and Twitter @LifeandKidsBlog.
Anna Luther

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I have spent the last five years mastering the art of  how to be a good friend to other mothers. From eating Crisco straight out of the can to leaving floaters in my guest toilet, I can say that I’m a better friend now than I’ve ever been. Lucky for you, I’m sharing my top 10 tips

How to be a Good Friend

 

 10 Tips on How to be a Good Friend

 

1. Be an average-sized person. Do you like hanging out with really skinny people that make you feel fat? Me neither. That’s why I eat ho hos and bon bons on a daily basis. I never want to make my friends feel fat while they’re hanging out with me. Sometimes I get a little too thin, and when I see this happening, I just eat more Crisco straight out of the can. It’s the least I can do for my friends.

 

2. Don’t do a great job cleaning your house. I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m at someone’s house, and I see a little counter-top clutter, I feel more comfortable. And – a dirty toilet or fingerprints on the bathroom mirror? Thank the Lord – I feel like a normal person. I work hard to make sure my house is never too clean for guests – and I can always count on my dog or one of my kids to make it smell like a giant fart, which I think is a nice touch.

 

3. Make sure your kids scream bloody murder while you’re on the phone. My friends know that when they talk to me on the phone, they’re going to hear my kids yelling and screaming. I like to think of this as a special gift I can give my friends. It either makes them feel totally normal when their kids are also screaming in the background. OR – it makes them feel like they are great mothers because their kids are NOT screaming in the background.

 

4. Burn dinner when you have dinner guests. When you have dinner guests, it’s usually a good idea to royally mess up something – just to make everyone feel like great cooks themselves.One Thanksgiving I purposely left the bag of guts inside the turkey and made a big show of taking it out of the cooked bird while we were at the dinner table. Everyone immediately felt like they were better than me. Mission accomplished.

 

5. Never look too put together. This is a tough one for me, because I tend to be fairly put together. But before I leave the house, I try to mess myself up a little bit so that no one feels dumpy when they’re with me. Sometimes I smear a little baby poop on my pants or on my shirt. I’ve been known to tear holes into the knees of my jeans… you get the idea.

 

6. Forget your kid somewhere. I haven’t done this yet, but I’m keeping it in my back pocket in case of a friendship emergency. Forgetting your kid somewhere pretty much guarantees that no matter which one of your friends is having a bad day – they’re still a better mother than you!

 

7. Update your Facebook status wisely. You will never see me posting things on Facebook like, “My kids LOVE picking up their toys” or “Oh my gosh, I have to buy myself smaller jeans (again)!

No, you won’t. Because I am a good friend.

Instead, I post things like: “Man – this lice just won’t go away.” or “Bedbugs suck!” or “How did I manage to gain 15 pounds this week?

Be a good friend – think before you Facebook.

 

8. Stop cleaning your minivan. Minivans were made for smashed goldfish crackers, spilled milk, stinky socks, and maybe a little vomit. Once I stopped cleaning mine, my friends felt normal. And I found that it helped to ward off any minivan jealousy from my friends that haven’t gotten theirs yet.

 

9. Wear your pajamas everywhere. No matter what I’m wearing, I feel amazing when I see another mother wearing Sponge Bob pajama pants while she’s dropping her child off at preschool. Seriously. You want to be a great friend? Rock the PJs in public!

 

10. Leave some floaters. I always make sure I have a few floaters in the guest toilet, especially when company is coming over. Nothing makes people feel like they’re a better all-around person than me than finding a few floaters in my potty.

 

Some are easier to implement than others, but once you get the hang of it, we can all be better friends!

Around the web

{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Stephanie February 26, 2013 at 9:17 am

Oh, man! I just cleaned the floor of the minivan. Should I go out there and sprinkle some of it back over the rug?
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2 Mom22Tweens February 26, 2013 at 11:15 am

If you have kids & a dog like mine, don’t bother — they’ll re-dirty the rug (and the minivan) before you’re done reading the next blog post!

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3 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:03 pm

Yup – what she said – it’ll be junked up again in no time. Just remember not to clean it again! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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4 Thekitchwitch February 26, 2013 at 9:18 am

From the looks of this (hilarious!) list, I am Friend of the Year. I am waiting for my tiara to arrive.
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5 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:03 pm

It’s on its way! ;)
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6 ilikebeerandbabies.com February 26, 2013 at 9:30 am

Love this list. Love Anna!
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7 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:04 pm

The feeling is mutual!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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8 Mom22Tweens February 26, 2013 at 9:34 am

I am an awesome and genuine friend, because I’ve done nearly all of these things without even trying!

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9 Mom22Tweens February 26, 2013 at 9:35 am

Except “being an average sized person.” Why settle for average when you can be way above average?

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10 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:12 pm

Great point!!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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11 Wendy February 26, 2013 at 9:37 am

Love it! I’ve found there’s a fine line between making your friends feel like they’re normal, and making them think you’re a total mess, and they don’t want to associate.with you!

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12 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:13 pm

Hmmm…. that’s true. I always try to pretend like I was right in the middle of cleaning or just about to start. Definitely something that takes some practice. :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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13 Momchalant February 26, 2013 at 9:47 am

We would be best friends because I have all of this going for me except the mini van, but I need to pop out a few more kiddos before I upgrade. (Yes, I consider a mini van an upgrade)
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14 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:13 pm

You are one smart woman! :)
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15 Beth February 26, 2013 at 9:53 am

I had a friend who needed to read this list. She was tiny, well dressed, hair was perfection, her house was neat, nary a cluttered surface to be seen. She managed to cook delicious nutritious appetizers when we come over for beer and football game (while I had store bought chips and dip). The icing on the cake? This was before I was even pregnant with my son! We no longer hang out (through no known fault of my own) but man I wanted to be just like her! Maybe I crossed the line with looking like a complete case.

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16 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:14 pm

I love that you didn’t even have kids yet!!! HA!
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17 Alison February 26, 2013 at 9:57 am

I am clearly an awesome friend.
Well, except for #10. :)
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18 Nicole @MTDLBlog February 26, 2013 at 10:04 am

Yeah..I’m with you Alison on #10 – that’s where I draw the line…LOL. I’m a terrible friend in that department, all my toilets are clean. :-)
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19 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:04 pm

It’s okay – 9 out of 10 still makes a pretty excellent friend in my book! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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20 Trish February 26, 2013 at 10:03 am

Well, darn. I should have a TON of irl friends!

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21 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:05 pm

Maybe your pajama pants aren’t bright enough? That might help! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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22 Nicole @MTDLBlog February 26, 2013 at 10:03 am

This is HYSTERICAL!
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23 wendy @ mama one to three February 26, 2013 at 10:05 am

I am becoming a better friend every day! Go me!!
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24 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:05 pm

Woo hoo! You’ll be the best friend ever pretty soon!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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25 Hannah February 26, 2013 at 10:09 am

Love this, I have done some of these. But I don’t have any friends so I don’t have to do the rest haha.

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26 Shannon February 26, 2013 at 10:12 am

Oh. . .my. . .god. . !!! I am the best friend EVER!!!! I never even realized!!! I am awesome!

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27 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:06 pm

See? It’s really an art to be such a great friend!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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28 Hana February 26, 2013 at 10:17 am

I’ve managed to keep a lot of friends by giving all the credit of a clean house, well cooked meals and my overall sanity to my housekeeper. And then I give them her number. Friend of the year award coming my way!

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29 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Absolutely!!! (And can you send me her number?) :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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30 Mercy February 26, 2013 at 10:42 am

Ok, now I don’t feel so bad about my messy house and dirty floors and toilets.
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31 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:12 pm

Feel bad? No way – be proud! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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32 Kay February 26, 2013 at 10:44 am

Either someone has been stalking me to see how I do things or we have a lot in common! Either way, this post is genius.

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33 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:14 pm

Didn’t you know? I’m your neighbor…

Okay – totally kidding. That was weird, wasn’t it? :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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34 Tara L February 26, 2013 at 10:45 am

I actually had the Thanksgiving incident happen to me this past year, not on purpose. I’m sure I made my SIL feel like a better cook.

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35 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:15 pm

See? So in a way, it WAS on purpose – to make your SIL feel awesome! What a great gift to give!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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36 karen A February 26, 2013 at 10:51 am

This is so funny that it caused me a Poise Pad moment. How about making it a poster that we can buy on Cafepress?

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37 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:15 pm

“Poise Pad” moment – story of my life! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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38 Rachael February 26, 2013 at 11:07 am

I need better friends….maybe I’ll just buy them the crisco. Haha this is awesome! Thanks!

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39 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:16 pm

You’re a genius!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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40 Grown and Flown February 26, 2013 at 11:09 am

Make sure your kid never stars in anything…no leads in the play, no president of the student body, no top athlete. If your kids slips up and does one of these things, make sure no one finds out.
Grown and Flown recently posted..Great Parents

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41 Amber February 26, 2013 at 11:19 am

I used to be a terrible friend… clean house, gourmet food for playdates, the works. Then I had twin boys and now I am a GREAT friend.

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42 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:16 pm

Nothing like a set of twins to make everyone a great friend! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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43 Mom22Tweens February 26, 2013 at 11:21 am

One major faux paus, Anna — you look too slender and perfect and put together in your profile pic for any of this to be real. How about I send you a photo of myself, with my hairstyle a time warp mixture of 80′s Big Hair and 00′s Bedhead, to better illustrate your “I’m a big fat mess” persona? :-)

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44 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:01 pm

Bwahahaha! Off to eat some more Crisco! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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45 Natalie February 26, 2013 at 12:17 pm

I’ve always said that the dog fur and grit that the dogs track in, need to be left for the kids. I’m so thoughtful — it’s all about boosting their immune systems. Your kid wants to lick the dog toy? Go ahead! He won’t get the plague when he hits pre-school. You can thank me later.

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46 JennMarie February 26, 2013 at 5:24 pm

Who said dogs and kids needed separate toys? Mine prefers the dog toss to his own!

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47 Tanya February 26, 2013 at 12:29 pm

I’ve pretty much nailed the cleaning out the car! I usually make it look extra dirty when I know one of my mom friends will be driving with me. ;)
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48 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:01 pm

Now THAT is a good friend!
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49 Joy February 26, 2013 at 1:19 pm

I would be the best friend you ever want to have in life. You would NEVER feel like the sloppiest person or mom. Living proof right here.
Because I’m a good person. Thanks for reminding everyone!
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50 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:02 pm

Clearly we need to be friends IRL!
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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51 Sahar February 26, 2013 at 1:20 pm

I do them all, but still don’t have friends :(
All girls I know are jealous and talking how I’m doing phd with 3 kids and expecting #4 while they can’t even read a free books.
Maybe should add ” not to work your future” to the list

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52 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:02 pm

You’re right. Definitely don’t try to achieve anything – that’s totally crossing the line! :)
Anna @ My Life and Kids recently posted..Banned from Craigslist

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53 zeemaid February 26, 2013 at 1:48 pm

Finally people agree perfection is overrated! :)
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54 MILF Runner February 26, 2013 at 2:42 pm

I am the BEST FRIEND EVER!!!

Loved this :)
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55 Anna @ My Life and Kids February 26, 2013 at 3:02 pm

Best Friend Ever trophies – coming soon!
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56 Nina February 26, 2013 at 3:16 pm

Love this! My minivan is practically a science experiment–that’s for sure.
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57 Mom Off Meth February 26, 2013 at 3:23 pm

I am the best friend anyone could ever ask for then!!!
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58 Jennifer February 26, 2013 at 3:23 pm

I literally almost shot tea out of my nose reading and laughing at this, esp the last one! Hilarious!
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59 Jodie February 26, 2013 at 3:24 pm

I think that number ten should actually be number two on the best friend list. Just because it would be appropriate. And funny. Yea, that too.

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60 Jodie February 26, 2013 at 3:28 pm

…I was going to say it would be apropos… Only misspell it as après poo… But you get where this whole thing is going fast…

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61 Meredith February 26, 2013 at 3:31 pm

You are amazing! Yes, yes, and yes! Too-skinny people tend to scare me, as does anyone who has their hair done before preschool drop-off. Reeks of suspicious robot-likeness vs. likable humanness!
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62 Kim- One Classy Motha February 26, 2013 at 3:34 pm

I love these! You are so selfless, and I bet you have a ton of friends!
I actually did forget my kid…I took her to the gym daycare, worked out, then went home without her and made myself a 3 egg omelete. It wasn’t until my husband came downstairs and asked where she was that it dawned on me. In my defense, it was Veterans Day, she would have normally been in school.

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63 Meghan February 26, 2013 at 3:58 pm

Dang! So close, yet so far away! I THOUGHT I was doin a pretty good job of being a friend, but lo and behold, I can count them on one hand. Okay, more like two fingers.

At home, I spend the whole day in pjs and am lucky if my hair gets brushed before the hubby gets home, yet somehow I always manage to put on real clothes, do my hair, AND apply makeup before having people over or leaving the house.

Thanks so much for helping me to identify my shortcomings. I will have to make immediate corrections to get my friendships back on track!

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64 TheHeadacheslayer February 26, 2013 at 4:42 pm

LOVE THIS!! You can definitely be my friend ;) You have a wicked sense of humor–thank you for sharing it with us!!!
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65 AJ Collins February 26, 2013 at 7:55 pm

This is funny!! Thank you for this list. I actually have left a messy house on purpose to make a friend feel more comfortable!! :) Funny and so true
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66 Amber phillips February 26, 2013 at 8:21 pm

Done and done!

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67 Heather @ Kraus House Mom February 26, 2013 at 8:44 pm

This is the best list ever. They should make Public Service Announcements out of this.
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68 Angela February 26, 2013 at 11:28 pm

Can we be friends? Sounds perfect to me! Great post.
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69 Jessica Smock February 27, 2013 at 8:14 am

Yes, yes, yes! I saw a friend at a museum this weekend, and we decided to plan a play date for the next day. We both looked at each other and said, “My house is a mess!” We purposefully didn’t decide which house to go to the next day so that both of us would feel okay not cleaning up.
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70 kellimack February 27, 2013 at 2:14 pm

your list made me realize that I am damn near close to the perfect friend. thanks for the post!

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71 Jennifer February 27, 2013 at 3:07 pm

I feel so much better about the green water in the toilet in the kids’ bathroom. I’m not a bad mother/housekeeper… I’m a good friend.
Jennifer recently posted..Time keeps on slipping {Just Write}

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72 Jacqui February 27, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Can I swap my Taurus for a minivan since we don’t have one? It fits the rest of the description!

Also, I have to swap my pajama pants (which I don’t own, weird I know) for the oversized sweat shirt with grease stains. Otherwise, I’m an amazing and wonderful friend!

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73 Debbie February 28, 2013 at 8:40 am

Great list. Love it. People are our friends because we make them feel at home and this list can sure do that. Really like the not having the house so clean.

There is nothing worse than walking into someones house and feeling like you better not even sit down. You might want to throw a few dishes in the sink also and let them know that the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. You just haven’t gotten around to unload yet.

Thanks for the smiles.
Debbie
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74 Melissa February 28, 2013 at 11:51 pm

# 7 & #10 killed me! Thanks!

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75 Mama D March 1, 2013 at 10:15 pm

#2 is so true!! Nothing like walking into a spotless house to make you feel inferior. ;)
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76 Pam @Mommacan March 2, 2013 at 12:24 pm

haha, the last one made me spew my coffee. One time my son save a green floater for three days so his older brother could come and see it on a visit home. Mega gross. lol
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77 Alison March 3, 2013 at 11:56 pm

Oh, don’t forget dropping the f-bomb every now and then in conversation. I always feel at ease when a Mom I feel seems so perfect and sweet drops a nice F bomb! You list just made me laugh so hard….I thank you for that :)

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78 Bev April 29, 2013 at 1:42 pm

I laughed out loud with each new entry. I also find being a good friend easy, when meeting her at a restaurant for lunch or dinner.

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