10 Tips on How to be a Good Friend

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10 Tips on How to be a Good Friend

I have spent the last five years mastering the art of  how to be a good friend to other mothers. From eating Crisco straight out of the can to leaving floaters in my guest toilet, I can say that I’m a better friend now than I’ve ever been. Lucky for you, I’m sharing my top 10 tips…

1. Be an average-sized person. Do you like hanging out with really skinny people that make you feel fat? Me neither. That’s why I eat ho hos and bon bons on a daily basis. I never want to make my friends feel fat while they’re hanging out with me. Sometimes I get a little too thin, and when I see this happening, I just eat more Crisco straight out of the can. It’s the least I can do for my friends.

2. Don’t do a great job cleaning your house. I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m at someone’s house, and I see a little counter-top clutter, I feel more comfortable. And – a dirty toilet or fingerprints on the bathroom mirror? Thank the Lord – I feel like a normal person. I work hard to make sure my house is never too clean for guests – and I can always count on my dog or one of my kids to make it smell like a giant fart, which I think is a nice touch.

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3. Make sure your kids scream bloody murder while you’re on the phone. My friends know that when they talk to me on the phone, they’re going to hear my kids yelling and screaming. I like to think of this as a special gift I can give my friends. It either makes them feel totally normal when their kids are also screaming in the background. OR – it makes them feel like they are great mothers because their kids are NOT screaming in the background.

4. Burn dinner when you have dinner guests. When you have dinner guests, it’s usually a good idea to royally mess up something – just to make everyone feel like great cooks themselves.One Thanksgiving I purposely left the bag of guts inside the turkey and made a big show of taking it out of the cooked bird while we were at the dinner table. Everyone immediately felt like they were better than me. Mission accomplished.

5. Never look too put together. This is a tough one for me, because I tend to be fairly put together. But before I leave the house, I try to mess myself up a little bit so that no one feels dumpy when they’re with me. Sometimes I smear a little baby poop on my pants or on my shirt. I’ve been known to tear holes into the knees of my jeans… you get the idea.

6. Forget your kid somewhere. I haven’t done this yet, but I’m keeping it in my back pocket in case of a friendship emergency. Forgetting your kid somewhere pretty much guarantees that no matter which one of your friends is having a bad day – they’re still a better mother than you!

7. Update your Facebook status wisely. You will never see me posting things on Facebook like, “My kids LOVE picking up their toys” or “Oh my gosh, I have to buy myself smaller jeans (again)!”  No, you won’t. Because I am a good friend. Instead, I post things like: “Man – this lice just won’t go away.” or “Bedbugs suck!” or “How did I manage to gain 15 pounds this week?” Be a good friend – think before you Facebook.

8. Stop cleaning your minivan. Minivans were made for smashed goldfish crackers, spilled milk, stinky socks, and maybe a little vomit. Once I stopped cleaning mine, my friends felt normal. And I found that it helped to ward off any minivan jealousy from my friends that haven’t gotten theirs yet.

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9. Wear your pajamas everywhere. No matter what I’m wearing, I feel amazing when I see another mother wearing Sponge Bob pajama pants while she’s dropping her child off at preschool. Seriously. You want to be a great friend? Rock the PJs in public!

10. Leave some floaters. I always make sure I have a few floaters in the guest toilet, especially when company is coming over. Nothing makes people feel like they’re a better all-around person than me than finding a few floaters in my potty.

Some are easier to implement than others, but once you get the hang of it, we can all be better friends!

Related post: 10 Ways To End A Mom Friendship

Comments

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  1. 11

    Wendy says

    Love it! I’ve found there’s a fine line between making your friends feel like they’re normal, and making them think you’re a total mess, and they don’t want to associate.with you!

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    • 12

      Anna @ My Life and Kids says

      Hmmm…. that’s true. I always try to pretend like I was right in the middle of cleaning or just about to start. Definitely something that takes some practice. :)

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  2. 13

    Momchalant says

    We would be best friends because I have all of this going for me except the mini van, but I need to pop out a few more kiddos before I upgrade. (Yes, I consider a mini van an upgrade)

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  3. 15

    Beth says

    I had a friend who needed to read this list. She was tiny, well dressed, hair was perfection, her house was neat, nary a cluttered surface to be seen. She managed to cook delicious nutritious appetizers when we come over for beer and football game (while I had store bought chips and dip). The icing on the cake? This was before I was even pregnant with my son! We no longer hang out (through no known fault of my own) but man I wanted to be just like her! Maybe I crossed the line with looking like a complete case.

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