Things are different now that I’m a grown-up. I have a core group of friends—friends who come over and don’t care if my house is a disaster, ladies who show up with cupcakes just because it seemed like a good idea, the kind of friends who don’t ask what they can do in a crisis, but just do what needs to be done. I love my group. I like my world the way it is. I like our “Wine Wednesdays.” I like our sneaky backyard happy hours. I like swinging over to their houses on a whim just to say hello.
So, I can tell you I didn’t handle it very well when my dear friend let me know she and her family decided to move to a different state. It all comes with a good reason, not that any of that makes it any easier. Her husband travels a ton for his job. He misses all kinds of things with their kids, and she has to hold down the fort a lot of the time. I know this has been hard for both of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Cue my eye roll.
Cue my stomping foot.
Cue my huffing and puffing.
Fine. Go. Go ahead and make a grown-up decision for your family. I’ll just be over here pouting.
I’ve been a little lost and sad and unsure about how to handle this news. Grown-ups are supposed to know how to do all kinds of tough things. So, I decided to share a few things I learned along the way to help if you are in a similar situation. You too can handle this tragedy like a grown-up if it happens to you.
1. Pretend to be supportive of her move. Tell her you are excited for this “awesome opportunity” for her.
2. Try to believe her when she says this is not going to change anything, because “it’s not like we see each other every day anyway!”
3. When she posts pictures of the stupid moving truck arriving at her house on Facebook, “like” the picture and comment, “Exciting!” Then, get a tissue and wipe away the water leaking out of your face. Medicinal use of chocolate is encouraged at this point.
4. Research her new area and tell her about all the places that “are exactly the same” as the places you both are used to going to together. This is likely a big, fat lie and she will totally see through it. She will also appreciate the sentiment.
5. Tell her the new place she’s moving to is super awesome and you wish you were lucky enough to move there too.
6. When you are bawling in front of her when you tell her goodbye, tell her it’s just because you are so offended by the high interest rate they got on their new home loan.
7. Hug her children as tight and as long as you can. When it gets awkward, tell them it’s just because you were trying to identify the laundry detergent they just switched to.
8. Try not to give her husband the stink eye when you see him just because his job created this suck fest. Tell him you are really excited that he will get to see all the kids and their activities now. Jerk.
9. Put on your big girl pants and realize that even though this is hard for you, it’s exponentially harder for her.
10. Miss her like crazy and don’t let a little thing like distance change your friendship. Now, go download every app possible to stay in constant contact, get your kid to teach you how to use them and pass me that bag of chocolate.
I hope you never have to experience one of your best friends moving away. If this ever happens to you, though, at least you now know how to handle yourself like a mature adult. Being a grown-up is kind of hard, but at least you can buy wine, and it doesn’t just have to be on Wednesdays.