One of the most difficult things about depression is the toll it takes on your relationships. It’s hard on a partner to see you hurting, and difficult for them to know how to help. Sometimes the best thing they can do is just be there, and one husband did that for his wife in the sweetest possible way.
Imgur user MollyWho recently uploaded a photo of her bedroom mirror, which was apparently the location of choice for her husband to pen a sweet (and hopefully not permanent) message reminding her that he loves her. The woman writes that she’s been depressed lately and her husband left her a list of things he loves about her to show her that he “gets the whole ‘for better or worse’ thing,” even when she’s not feeling or acting like herself.
I've been juggling a LOT lately. Trying to move up the (ahem) corporate latter. Just got married. Couldn't afford a wedding. Family is sparse. Falling out with friends, yaddadyadda. But, the thing is, amidst all the struggle, my husband has relentlessly tried to cheer me up. I've not been the east person to deal with. In fact, sometimes I've said the cruelest most hateful words to my new husband. But he somehow forgives me every time. I have a long journey ahead of me, and I know he probably realizes I'm mentally ill. But he holds my hand, and he tries his best. Today when I came home from a trip to SF, I flopped onto my bed in tears. I looked to my left, and saw these words painted all across my mirror. I think he wanted me to remember how much he loves me. Because he knows how quickly I forget. He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is. A testament and gesture of his love. Damn, I needed it today…
Included on the list are things like, his wife is his best friend, she never quits on herself, she’s kind, she’s done an amazing job advancing in her career, and even “she’s gone to a strip club with me.” Hey, it’s the little things, right?
In her post about her husband’s sweet gesture, the woman writes, “I have a long journey ahead of me, and I know he probably realizes I’m mentally ill. But he holds my hand, and he tries his best … He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is. A testament and gesture of his love. Damn, I needed it today.”
Anyone who’s ever dealt with depression can tell you one of the most heartbreaking parts is the constant feeling that you’re failing the people you care about. Depression lies, and it’s very good at making you feel unworthy, unloved, and like you’ve accomplished nothing. Friends and loved ones aren’t miracle workers and can’t make those feelings magically disappear, but offering support and a counter to the negativity is more helpful than they could ever realize.
According to the American Psychological Association, women are twice as likely as men to suffer from depression. I’ve struggled with it, as have the majority of my peers, and it’s lonely. No matter how common it is, it feels like the most isolating thing in the world. What this husband did by offering his love and support is remind his wife that she’s not alone, that he sees her struggling, and that her struggle in no way diminishes who she is or what makes her lovable.
That’s a message anyone struggling with depression should hear from the ones they love.