I learned something today. Actually, I just relearned something I’ve learned every Memorial Day weekend since becoming a mother: I fucking hate the pool.
It’s not as simple as the fact that donning a swimsuit makes me want to crawl in the fetal position and stay there until September. It’s not the fact that I glare at carefree, bikini-clad teenagers burning them with my eyes. It’s not even the communal germ fest of wet, hot bodies bathing in piss-filled water or the notion that I’m exposing my children to the sun’s cancer causing rays. No, it’s just the fact that I am a complete nervous wreck each and every time we go.
I’m not normally such an intense mother, but when I’m at the pool I morph into secret agent mode. My sole mission? To keep my three children alive. I scan the pool looking for obstacles that pose potential tripping hazards. I annoyingly holler their names should I lose sight of them for the briefest moment. I barely smile, let alone engage in conversation that would require me to take my eyes off of any of them. I gladly give into ice cream and popsicle requests as long as it brings us out of the water and secretly pray for sudden thunderstorms the entire time we’re there. It’s just all way too stressful for me.
Am I alone here? Because poolside, it certainly feels like I am. Everyone else looks like they’re having the time of their lives, while I’m sure I look like a constipated wreck. I see mothers casually flip through magazines or chatting with each other. I actually saw a mother of young children reading a novel poolside. How is that even possible? I just don’t get it.
I do, however, totally get ignoring my children while in the comfort of our own home. I’m really good at that. You know, lest you think I’m always so attentive.
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Water totally freaks me out. I always envision some horrible catastrophe that is probably not even close to likely to happen, but I can’t stop myself.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Remember =-.
I’m the one flipping through magazines (while in my cover-up poolside).
Best money I ever spent on the kids was private one-on-one “survival” swim class. 15 minutes each week for an entire year and my kids are fish. It was hard to watch the teacher DUNK my kids with force underwater in the beginning. But now they are amazing swimmers. I check in on them once or twice during the hour and they sit out for 10 minutes during safety break. I swear to God that going to the pool with three kids is easier then spending a day at home.
That is amazing. I’m looking into that- sounds like the most worthwhile investment ever.
Wow, that’s a great idea! My mom didn’t take me for swimming lessons until I was the ripe old age of nine (which was supremely embarrassing to me), so I’ve always decided that if I ever have kids they’ll be in the water as young as possible. I love the survival course idea!
Holly recently posted..Feel Good Friday- Misha & Tom Are Free!
holy moly – i just found your blog and i FUCKING love it. there. i said it. i see you say it. and maybe holding it in has been part of my problem. cause i too have 3 kids – ages 5-2.5 and am ready to loose it with all the goodygoody mommypants crap that has infiltrated the tv, internet, world… it is SO danged hard. and YES!!!!!!!!! finally someone else who hates the damned pool!!!!!!!! i barely blink at the pool, but watch all the twiggy moms lounging about??? and yep – i saw a kid almost drowned this year (not mine – i was watching my OWN kids so hard i didn’t notice him.) right at the feet of a lifeguard. i only go for 30-40 minutes cause it exhausts me, but does wear them out :) thank you.
I love the pool for the very reason you hate it…except for the swimsuit thing. The pool affords me a little time to relax and read and not worry about my kids because there is a very high fence and big burly guys to watch my kids for me. Maybe that makes me a bad mommy, but a bad mommy with a tan.
.-= Lanita @ A Mother’s Hood´s last blog ..Tiger Beat =-.
Amen Lanita! Bad mommies with tans unite!
.-= cathyjoy´s last blog ..Do Men Ever Really Listen? =-.
I’m the same way, so I got life jackets for my kids. Helps a LOT.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Lockdown =-.
Pools are scary.
I made sure that my kids knew how to swim and even then it took me a while to realax. And even a longer time to go to our local Y pool in jeans. “Mommy, will rescue you, but mommy hates getting jeans wet, so please be careful.”
The worst is when their friends are sucky swimmers. I keep telling them–Friend Phelps.
.-= Marinka´s last blog ..Mixed Feelings =-.
You are NOT alone. I hate the pool or lake. We have a great park near us, with an awesome playground, huge fields to run in, and a nice lake with real sand. Should be perfect, but I stress the whole time, wondering when the girls are going to tire of the running and swinging and want to go in the water. And I only have 2 kids. I want them to stand within inches of one another, and within arms reach of me. I can’t relax for a second.
.-= LZ´s last blog ..Did I really say that out loud? =-.
I feel the same way and hate taking the kids to a busy pool. I would much prefer a nice beach with a great sandbar – it’s the more relaxing option.
The beach? I LOVE. Actually, my favorite are lakes. I’m so not a crazy person there.
I’m somewhere in the middle, mainly because my kids are mediocre swimmers and also because the lifeguards at our pool are less than satisfactory. But I totally understand the fear of the water. It’s a dangerous place. Then again, so is all of the world… I try not to freak out too much, though. Deep breaths, hon. You can do it!
.-= tracey´s last blog ..The Third Child =-.
I’m like that around water and really big malls. The open water scares the hell out of me!! You should see me at an actual beach – there is no rest for me involved! I’m always slightly freaking out when I can’t see them. Now in this house – that is childproofed up the wazoo and impossible to get out without me… then I can read! :-)
M
.-= Mishelle´s last blog ..One from my son, now one from the daughter. =-.
I hear you. I also hate the pool. I avoid it like the plague. Unfortunately, my kids love the pool. However, my husband is willing to take them, so instead of two of us watching three of them, I let him watch all three of them while I stay at home and work.
Every summer I think about joining a pool and every summer all I can think about are the potential drownings. No thank you.
.-= Stimey´s last blog ..I Don’t Get Anything Done Anymore =-.
I think I’m going to be the same way…hence, we haven’t been this year yet.
When we have “Get Wet” with the twins, the sheer thought of blowing bubbles to set an example for my child sends me into dry heaves…it’s so fucking gross.
Oh my gosh! They are SO cute Jill! I love that picture. Fabulous! : )
When Kaish was little I was a psycho mother. Always by his side : ) and now that he is 10, he barely talks to me. He is a great swimmer so he has the most fantabulous time swimming and splashing. He only looks for me when he wants mozzeralla cheese sticks for freaking $5.50 a box. What the heck!
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..feet. foot. funk. =-.
Your kids look young so I totally get where you are coming from. I used to be you. Now that my boys are 9 I am the “new me” who can go to the pool and sit with my nose in a book and dole out dollars for the snack bar. My kids being on the swim team lets me relax knowing they know how to swim and I figure they haven’t gotten cooties from the pool in the passed 5 summers that they can fend off the creepy pool germs again this summer.
My parents live on lake front property, and when we go to swim I have an extremely hard time relinquishing responsibility to my husband. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I just trust myself more. He’s too carefree and “fun” around the water and our one-year-old daughter.
I hate the pool with a cold fierce hatred. The undulating body hair (not my own), a wave program that seems designed to separate helpless children from their lives, teenagers cannon-balling from above on ropes placed there by the city expressly for that purpose that kid who’s been surreptitiously barfing his french fries or peeing his Mountain Dew at the edge, the slippery yuck of the tile floors in the change room, the fatally pregnant women daring their water to break, the teenaged boys with their complexions of cheesy wonder. . . . I think it would be safer and healthier to go jump in a mud hole after a good rain than go to a public pool. I once started a photo essay on the pool then realized that my client, the pool, wouldn’t like where I was headed AT ALL and just resigned the account.
My very earliest memory, one that is beyond what the books will tell you is typically possible is of me underwater looking up at an inflatable ring. I used to have dreams about it.
My mom’s friend was supposed to be watching me and turned away for a ‘minute’. I fell through the floating ring and was submerged. I was probably about 18 months or maybe 2? Someone had to jump in to rescue me.
So I’m with you. Pools make me nervous. I am constantly on top of the kids. Annoyingly so.
.-= elliebelliekids´s last blog ..Love is a Three Legged Race =-.
I think that a lot of mothers are TOO laid back at the pool. I think I’m a little like you , my kids at the pool scares me, I’m so worried that they’ll fall or get hurt and I won’t get there fast enough. Your not alone.
I am totally the same way. I am all about ignoring my kids at the park, on the playground and at home but when we are near water, I am like a hawk.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Happy Memorial Day! =-.
nope, you’re not alone. i have no kids and have a wicked bad fear of public pools, especially those filled with children. all that piss….like a simmering 3-month stew.
.-= vanillasugar´s last blog ..hot dog w/ the works and…..my first cookbook! =-.
Well my kids are a month old and almost two years, so I have one lounging in his infant car seat under a shady umbrella, while I’m playing with the other in the pee-filled baby pool. But I admit, I LOVE it, and can’t wait till we’re playing in the big pool together. I’m a fish, so is my husband, and our daughter has already been in swim lessons since she was four months old. The only thing I hate about the pool is wearing a bathing suit – I would much prefer a full length swim dress! Ha!
ok, so I’m going to be the lone mom who says I love the pool – I love it so very much that it makes me weep with happiness just to walk on deck & smell the chlorine. But, BUT – I am also the mom who is in there with the kids until I am abso-freaking-lutely sure they are good in the water alone. Because I love to swim so much, this is not really a hardship. The real silver lining there is that in the water?? NO ONE CAN SEE ME IN THE SWIMSUIT. In fact, I’d call that the GOLDEN lining.
I’m always a nervous wreck like that. I’m so afraid of my boys nosediving off slides or swings at the park (or out of their beds in our home). :S
.-= S Club Mama´s last blog ..Potty Training: Day 1 (at the halfway point) =-.
It gets better! Trust me! I now have 3 swimmers and just one sinker. So much easier than a few years ago where I was popping valium on the drive home.
I have a friend whose kids are 9 and 7, and she is that mom with the magazines. I, with a 6 and 4 year old, am you. 6 can swim, sort of. 4 thinks she can. That, to me, is the most dangerous. She is always in the pool with a life vest on, and then she is quite good. But the problem, of course, is that kids who use life vests often do not realize that when they are NOT in the vest, they WILL sink. I have to have her in the vest if I’m there with them both by myself, since otherwise I would be having heart palpitations the whole time. Because here’s the thing: I don’t care how good the lifeguards are; if there are five life guards and 50 people in the pool, that’s 10 people per guard, and how do they possibly keep eyes on that many at once? It only takes a few seconds for a little to slip under. Add in the fear of sunburn, the paranoia that all the chic ladies are a size two and I…am not, and it’s just not as much fun as many places. I can swim well and keep telling myself that I can teach the kids — but of course the problem is that while you’re helping one, the other is slowly sinking. I have no good answer, though I think I might follow in Pauline’s footsteps and do the formal swim lessons.
.-= MommyTime´s last blog ..Monday Potluck =-.
OMFG! I did this for years! It wasn’t until they turned 9 and 10 that I chilled. I totally hate seeing adults chatting it away while their kids are who the hell knows where. I never got it. (I mean we are kinda talking about DEATH here.) And people thought I was such a terrible mom because I wouldn’t send them to the pool without me. Really?! The only reason I feel better now is because they can swim and because they stay in the 2-3 foot pool. That is it. Now I just hate the pool because of my cellulite and that evil mom with breast implants who flaunts her size two body in front of my husband. Other than that, it is all good. :)
.-= JenniferG´s last blog ..Balancing The Online And The Offline For Mom (And Non) Bloggers =-.
I’m not very fond of water, either. Which is why, even in our pool which is just barely larger than a kiddie pool, my kids always wore flotation devices and they were never ever left alone. Considering that I’m 30 years old and STILL don’t know how to swim, some swim classes might be in my kids’ future. Just for safety’s sake.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..I Love the Zoo but It Didn’t Love Me =-.
My parents raised three children on a lake in Mass. We all survived – better than survived, I have a love for bodies of water that borders on obsessive. However, when I took my three year old, San Francisco boy, for a week vacation, I was a wreck. Constantly checking that the doors were locked. Freaking when he was out of my sight. My beloved lake had become a tomb. I asked my mom how she did it, she shrugged her sholders, ‘you three looked out for each other.’ Was parenting that laid back in the eighties? The seven year old ‘looking out’ for the five year old and the two year old?
My son practically slept in a life vest. So much for laid back Cali parenting…
My daughter and I just started taking swimming lessons. She’s 9 months old, and slightly afraid of the pool. We’re not brave enough to try the public pool yet. It sounds like a horror.
.-= Distracted Daddy´s last blog ..Full of chic. =-.
We talked about getting a membership to a swimming club down the road from us but after about 4 seconds of contemplation, I realized that my insane 2.5 year old would likely drive me to drink (more) if we were to attempt the pool regularly. We’ll wait.
No shit I am the same way and I just have one child to look after. I get in the pool with him and then anxiety smacks me like a disgruntled pimp. What if I slip and we both go under and I inexplicably lose my ability to tread water or…stand…I would be at fault for any harm. We are NOT going in the pool. Not even on the steps.
Then again, I was the only child in Arizona who learned to swim when they were 9 though. Pretty sure.
Also? I still plug my damn nose when I put my head under water. Grown.
Hell no…I am a nervous wreck even when they are in a backyard inflatable pool. I can only imagine being at a public pool *shudders*…
.-= Chelle´s last blog ..Sing it Saturday…Young Forever Edition =-.
You kill me ;-)
The pool can make me extremely nervous, depending upon the situation.
My 6 yo is a dang fish. The 3 yo.. he’s never in the water w/o me.
Last June at a birthday party I had to (fully clothed) jump into a pool (did I mention I was in a sundress?) 3 separate times to save THREE separate children under the age of 5.
Scared the crap out of me. Still does.
I don’t love the pool… Especially this summer since all of my kids are old enough to be in the big pool as long as I’m in the pool with them. And that last part is what I really hate about the pool.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..Until I’ve Walked a Mile in His Shoe… =-.
Probably I wouldn’t be such a worry wart at the pool if I could swim better myself. I get your nervousness and hatred of the pool.
Once the kids got older, I felt a lot better and would send them with their friends to the pool, thus saving me the nervous twitch :)
.-= Shawntel´s last blog ..The Ashinator Remembers Her Papi =-.
My big kids are 7.5 and almost 6 and this weekend was the first time I actually relaxed at the pool…and I hardly recognized myself! They are finally strong enough swimmers that I can stop hovering, but it’s going to be a long time before I pull out a book and read without worrying. You are NOT overreacting…lifeguards are back-up help in my mind.
That said, I love going to the pool. Despite the hassles and nonstop sunscreen applications, it’s the best way to tire out the kids. Nothing guarantees an early bedtime like an afternoon swim.
Get them swim lessons and you can start to relax! Come to erie. And I will show you how!
Is it sad that I’ve never taken my kids to a public pool?
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..Conversations in the Car: Vol. IX =-.
You gotta give your kids something to talk about later.. just think of the long talks you all can have about how Mom took them to the “pee pee pool” ha ha
They will have a blast! just give’m a good cleaning afterward .
If I had any other options, we’d never do public either!
I was in your position a couple of years ago, but this year it’s different. My girls are 7 and 5 and can swim, not perfectly, without life jackets. I can sit and read a bit while I watch them. Finally, a little bit of breathing room.
Now, if you mention total annoyance of getting in and out of the water and constantly being wet, now that’s what I can’t stand about all of this! My friends and hubby make fun of me, hell, they call me a princess. But I don’t like to be wet!
Before I was a mommy, I LOVED the pool. That is because I could lay out, work on my tan, flip through mags and read novels. And don’t forget looking other people up and down behind dark shades.
Now that I have to watch a 3 1/2 yr. old and 14 month old I am a TOTAL WRECK too!! I can’t relax, it is totally stressful and not fun. Could not agree more with you on this one. Oh, and that ignoring thing at home? I am good at that too! :-)
.-= Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation´s last blog ..Summer Chicken Stir-Fry =-.
Oh, yes- pre-kids? I loved it. Maybe I will again, someday.
Let me say you are not alone.. I was thinking the same damn thing but was afraid that my kid would not want to swim anymore if I showed her my fear. ha ha Now that she is 11 things have clammed down a bit, but reading a book.. dream on. My daughter jumped into the pool once to show my fully clothed sister what she had learned at swim lessons. Then she swam out to the middle of the pool*oo what a lil booger*She is glad I wasn’t there! anyway.. then she started to act like she could not swim anymore..Well my sister was a wreck (we can’t all be as clam as me) she jumped right in, clothes and all! Then my sweet darling stood up from her knees and started to walk to the edge! ha ha priceless! wish I was there… I mean you bad girl! lol Awww the sweet bliss of motherhood!
I’m with you ignoring at home. I have it down to a science.
I haven’t ventured to a pool yet with my son. The splash pad yes, but I hawk-eyed him the entire time. I might actually put a leash on him if we ever make it to the pool.
.-= Allison´s last blog ..A Memorial Day Memory =-.
My uncle owns a pool, so every summer the lot of us gather in his backyard (uncle owns a landscaping business and the garden is a ‘showgarden’) to enjoy the pool. Bonusses: the only ones around are family, we are allowed to bring our own snacks, the kids love to spend time with each other, the grown ups get to get their magazine time and every once in a while my aunt suggest a glass of white wine or a little sangria.
Please don’t hate me.
I kind of do. That sounds perfect.
I agree with you 100 and 10%! Around a body of water, even a bathtub, I freak. My daughter will soon be 7 years old and I still have to be 1/2 in and 1/2 out of the bathtub even if she’s playing. My eyes are totally glued on her from the moment she steps in and until she steps out. I’m such a freak! Dare I sneeze, you know? I had to use the restroom once while she was mid-bath and I made her get out and stand on the bathmat…just in case. You know, a human-being can drown on a teaspoon of water…I think!???
Get this! My husband (the sperm donor) was about to let my 5 year old (the now six year old daughter) daughter go Sea-Doo’ing in the Colorado River (in Laughlin, NV) with him even though she did NOT know how to swim, life-vest or NOT! I told him, HELL NO! She must learn how to swim before going in that crazy river with all those loonies (him being one of ‘em) and possibly come out one limb less than what she went in with. Men…do they think?
Anyway, you’re not the only one that freaks about their ‘kiddies’ around the pool, I feel your fear!!!
Thank you for sharing, I truly enjoyed this post!
- Kim Buck @ kimbuckjr@yahoo.com
Just the thought of having 3 small kids in a community pool at one time makes my heart pound. You are not alone!
Pools are icky! We go to the beach where there are animals in the water, sharp rocks you can step and of course breaking waves and undertow. In other words, even more things to fret about! We leave the reading material at home!
.-= Fran´s last blog ..Babies DO Learn While Sleeping =-.
You make me laugh, Jill, because I can totally relate. If it’s any consolation, now that all my kids are older than 10, going to the pool is a lot less stressful. But I’m still paying attention…
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I need 30 pairs of shoes because I have 60 feet =-.
I hear ya. My big fear isn’t pools it is the ocean. My 3 are ridiculously naive about all the dangers lurking under those waves. Hey mom—look how far I can go out…it’s where the sharks swim :)
And no. It doesn’t matter that they are 21, 20 and 15. They are still keeping me from basking in the sun with my eyes closed. I am constantly scanning the wave peaks for their heads.
I always receive undue credit for being a good mom because I’m always in the water with my dc. This isn’t because I’m really great at playing with him, it’s because I don’t trust him for a second on his own in the water, and I love to swim as much as he does. So, when we’re by the lake, I’m the mom who gives all the little kids “rides” out into the deep water while all the other moms relax on shore. The extra bonus is that no one can see me from the neck down, so except from my entrance and exit from the water, my swimsuit body is a mystery! Anyway, I’d rather be covered in water than sand any day!
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Sports Injury =-.
You crack me up, girl. Not to say that you are a total freak or anything, because, well, we already knew that about you. ;)
I can see how you would feel this way. Just Friday, we went swimming at my mom’s neighborhood pool. My kiddo was toolin’ around, sans any means of lifesaving equipment, when he ventured over to the 4ft area. He doesn’t swim quite yet. All I saw were his hands waving above the water, trying to stay afloat. I never swam so fast. But I was calm. I think I am the only one in my family that can remain calm in a situation like that. Grandma just FREAKS. It’s a good thing, since his life isn’t always ‘calm’. Someone’s got to keep it together. But all is well. It was a learning experience for him. And us. He said he’s never going back into the 4ft area. :p And I learned that I can swim faster than I thought possible and that I can remain calm in a drowning situation. Urp.
Your fear is not unjustified, my friend. Maybe just grab it by the reigns and OWN it. :)
.-= BlissfulBabe´s last blog ..Stay Tuned For Blogoversary Post Coming Soon… =-.
I feel the same way about the fucking beach.
Lifeguards MOVE their gear to get closer to where my two “I-laugh-at-the-face-of-death” boys. I, of course, am surrounded by moms with perfect children, often who don’t like to stray, eat PB&J without dripping (and put rest theirs on the napkin, not the sand,) and don’t run with wild abandon across the borders into other’s beachgoers reunions, Christmas pictures and wedding proposals. Seriously.
My third? She’s the either shrugging them off, or screaming “Mom, X & Y are RUINING the day!” or “Moooooom, I have sand in my VAGGIINAAAA!”
Seriously.
Ah. The sweet memories of summer. And a really good Vodka Tonic.
.-= Betsy´s last blog ..90 Day Fitness Challenge Update #2: Feel the Pain. =-.
We are kindred souls. I am the Pool Nazi, constantly on alert and barking orders at my children to “turn around! You’re going too deep!” The pool sucks.
I, too, am a professional at ignoring my offspring at home. Home rocks.
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Grilled Tomato Bread with Proscuitto =-.
You are bang on. I hate the pool, too, for these reasons. It’s gross. The only reason I do it is b/c the kids love it and they aren’t fighting with each other while we’re there. Only three more months to go, right? Argh. xoxo
.-= RLG´s last blog ..End of an Era =-.
I HATE the pool, also. When my kids were younger, it was impossible to keep track of them by myself (I have four).
Once, I was helping (for 2 seconds tops) my three year old climb up on a floaty toy that was chained to the bottom of the pool. I turned and found my one year old floating face down. The water was only about 8-10 inches deep, but she must’ve lost her footing. I scooped her up in a panic and looked for the lifeguard. His chair was at the edge of the pool directly in front of us. He was standing up, watching us, but he hadn’t blown his whistle or even moved in our direction. That was it for me.
We have since joined a smaller, more private pool with more lifeguards. It just wasn’t worth the risk to save a few bucks by going to an overcrowded pool with inattentive lifeguards.
.-= Mrs.Mayhem´s last blog ..How Does Your Garden Grow? =-.
HA! This had me laughing out loud.
I have lost friends over my behavior at the pool. I, too, am interested in one thing, and one thing only: keeping my kids alive.
I have to be in supervigilant mode: so I can’t even xanax my anxiety down: must be alert at all times.
Dont’ talk to me, I don’t want to hear it/ don’t stand in front of me, not interested in eye contact. GET OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN FLIPPIN KEEP AN EYE ON MY KIDS!!
Excellent topic.
I think anything I can relate to is an excellent topic.
I HATE the pool.
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..I Haz A Button? =-.
While I love swimming and want my children to enjoy the pool, I NEVER go alone. I am not just a helicopter parent at the pool — I’m a TICK! Stuck to my children in a freakish way and possibly ruining all the fun for any of us. And that is nearly impossible to pull off alone.
Maybe the pool-side-tick-mamas need to unite in one intense, non-social, very shallow, no-jumping pool. I’m willing to travel if the pool comes with extra lifeguards to follow each of my children around.
.-= Alex@LateEnough´s last blog ..When You Climb Mount Everest, You Can Pee Wherever You Like =-.
I am the same way with my three. Pools and water scare the crap out of me. My husband is always rolling his eyes at my overcautiousness. The other day I yelled at him for swinging one of the kids too high in a swing. I think the mere fact of having to keep your eye on 3 separate people when out in the world also factors into the equation. It certainly doesn’t make for a relaxing afternoon. Lol.
.-= Momlissa´s last blog ..I Yub My Boyz =-.
Thank God I am not alone! I thought I was neurotic. No, I’m just a mom!
I HATE community pools too. I hate feeling self conscious about being in a bathing suit around strangers. I hate having to try to pick my kids out of the hundreds of other kids in the pool, and I hate how chlorinated public pools are out of necessity.
I DO love having a pool at home though and being able to relax and swim with my kids from the privacy of my backyard.
.-= angie´s last blog ..Making a Systemic Change-{Guest Post} =-.
Shove it, Angie. I’ve seen your pool and hate you for it.
Why can’t I be your neighbor?!
What also gets me are the kids who run alongside the pool toward a million cement rocks they need to climb to get to the slide – without wearing any kind of vest and are the same age as my son and nodody else seems to be concerned. Even though my son can swim, I make him wear that damn thing because like you, I HATE the pool.
I am the parent having a heart attack watching my son run in his life vest along the rocks, fearing he will skin the entire lower part of his body before he plunges and drowns in the pool from coming down the slide.
And yes, the other parents are sipping their ice-tea while I am literally having heart palpitations.
.-= Theta Mom´s last blog ..Just Because =-.
HA HA HA. That was me this weekend. :P No, I don’t hate water, I’m not affraid my son will disappear or drown (easier to look after 1 kid only!) and I could JUST be that mother reading a novel (I was, on Sunday, actually) – but OMG I can’t stand a thousand kids & teenagers screaming like the world was about to end and this is their ONLY chance to EVER have ANY tiny bit of fun in their lives. No, I swear I was not like that at their age. What is it with them? Actually, it’s not them, it’s the parents. I mean, fair enough, 10 kids and 15 teenagers WILL be loud, but as a parent I don’t allow my son to go over the line. Like for example scream in “desperation”, followed by “HELP! AAAAARGH! HEEEEELP!” that makes my heart come out of my mouth every time I hear it. Parents should teach their children that they can NOT SCREAM FOR HELP at the pool unless they NEED IT. I truly don’t get this. :/
(Not to mention I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant and this heat is kiiiiiiiilling me! No, pleeease, no pool on the weekends…….. :P )
.-= Bruna´s last blog ..32 semanas e MEIA… =-.
I don’t necessarily hate it, though I only have one kid to chase around. I cannot fathom actually relaxing in a chair poolside reading a book. I’d never leave my son’s life to the lifeguards, no offense. They’re often kids themselves!
I love the pool and so do the kids. I was born and raised in LA. We grew up swimming at pools and the beach. I was on the swim team and worked as a lifeguard.
So there was never a question in my mind about the kids swimming. I just made sure that they learned how at an early age. And even now I make sure that they still take lessons.
We are careful at the pool, but I don’t worry much.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..Alas, A Blogiversary =-.
I felt the same way, but my kids would never shut up about going to the pool so we decided to do the next best thing and put one of our own in. Best thing we ever did!!
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I am glad I am not at the pool stage yet because no one else should have to be subjected to my white bird chest.
.-= DC Urban Dad´s last blog ..10 lessons learned after doing it 5 times. =-.
You are definitely not alone! Chick has learnt to swim but I don’t take my eyes off her for a minute and she’s not allowed in the water without me or another adult!! Paranoid? Maybe but I really don’t care!!
.-= Emma´s last blog ..Dappers Review =-.
You are absolutely NOT alone. I’m the mom that paces back and forth along the edge of my friend’s pool, while they all have a beer… I just wait till all children are out of the water and in regular clothes for the rest of the visit.
.-= Christine´s last blog ..Look what I got! =-.
I so hate the pool…I am a nervous wreck. You’re not alone. (Not to mention the piss!)
.-= josephine´s last blog ..grilled pizza =-.
I totally know what you mean. It’s better now that my son is almost five, but in the past I always wondered why I ever bothered bringing a chair to the beach because my ass was never in it the whole time we were there!
I dunno. I’ve had two of my three babies when we had (still had) a pool. Maybe time has eased my stress memories, but I don’t think the water freaked me out that much. My trick was to make them water-safe, meaning – I tested out every single floatie known to man. I found very few to be reliable, but the ones I did, were very trustworthy. So – if the kid couldn’t swim, he had his floatie on whenever we were out by the pool. The next objective was to get my kid to learn how to swim as young as possible – and they did (under the age of three).
A constipated wreck, ha ha! Does Evan swim already? Wow, now I’m constipated – I gotta teach mine how to do something other than sit on the step and ask for animal crackers. Or maybe I don’t…
Yeah I’m pretty carefree at the pool with my THREE non swimmers…just a few necessary adjustments to their swim wear like…arm floaties, level 4 US Coast Guard approved life jacket and a swim ring that they couldn’t fall out of even if a hurricane hit. So yeah I mean, they barely get wet but there they are floating around the pool in their gear (full body rash gurards, hats and 75 SPF sunscreen). Yep, we’re ALL about the pool :)
Ugh! I’m with you, totally! I hate the pool so much, I never go without back up. And, I agree! How do those moms read while watching thier kids? Ummm…. yeah. They don’t. I’m going crazy watching their kids, too.
My husband and I are both so terrified of the pool. We’ve just heard too many horror stories. We are planning a vacation to the beach in early August. We will be staying at a house with a pool. I am already getting the sweats just thinking about it. By August? I’ll be dripping.
.-= Sarah at the Stroller Ballet´s last blog ..I spent the weekend looking at cracks… =-.
Hmmm I totally understand, but I dont see any bad at reading a magazine or whatever, when my son is at the pool. He is 9 and a good swimmer, and besides, I am sitting in front of the pool, like REALLY in front of it. I constantly go in and play with him, and I am more focused at him then at the magazine (or book) anyways. :) I just hate it when it’s crowded!
.-= Bruna´s last blog ..32 semanas e MEIA… =-.
I hadn’t even read this post before posting my pool scare today…I will never relax near a pool again. I have anxiety just *thinking* about swimming right now.
.-= Mama Kat´s last blog ..The Bachelorette: I Only Need Two Roses Tonight Chris =-.
How about actually getting into the pool and PLAYING with your chidlren rather than sitting on the side subjecting everyone to yelling and stress. You aren’t making it easier for anyone to enjoy themselves being all neurotic and nasty.
I’m with you sister – I have near strokes each and every time I see slight coughing – I am terrified one of my children will dry drown!! no kidding! Even in the bathtub! FREAKS ME OUT!!
Just the IDEA of taking my baby to the pool makes me need to take a xanax, or a valium, or have ten cocktails. All of which would severly impair my ability to keep small child alive while at the pool.
So, the park it is. I think it’s best for us all since even Jergen’s self tanner has it’s limits.
.-= Stephanie aka Minky´s last blog ..Dear Iphone, =-.
I totally understand how you feel. We were just at the pool this weekend. My husband doesn’t seem to understand the potential hazards to a young child because he is an adult and seems to think that our toddler will think the same way that he does. As for reading a novel poolside, I probably won’t do that until our little guy is in his teens! :)
.-= Joanne @ Barely Domestic Mama´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Getting His Bowling On! =-.
Yeah, I give my 21-month-old a good 1-2-3 chuck into the water and then bask poolside with a good beach read. Someone needs to make sure the life guards are doing their job.
.-= The Flying Chalupa´s last blog ..Deep In the Heart =-.
Oh, I’m the same way. Just today I was thinking, “Why do I even bother bringing a chair?” A magazine? Forget it!
I HATE THE POOL.
And water.
And my children NEAR WATER.
Ugh.
.-= Loralee´s last blog ..No longer skirting the issue. =-.
I am with you!!! I hate those skinny teenage girls too! And I ignore my kids too! ;-)
I much prefer the beach to the pool because I can never relax at the pool: first I worry about them drowning or hitting their heads etc. Ever since I saw the Minority Report, I have this fear of my kids being kidnapped there too! Now they are older, that fear has subsided, however, the fear of them drowning is still there. When we are on the beach, I am able to relax because they play in the sand or the shallow part.
.-= subWOW´s last blog ..Weekends are sacred =-.
I’m very nervous when my kids are around water. My husband’s family are all “lake” people – boating, water skiing, tubing, etc. I hate it and it’s always a huge source of conflict for us. I don’t want my kids to grow up being afraid to be around water like me, but, it’s so hard for me to let go of my own fear.
.-= Kari´s last blog ..Cool Summer Finds =-.
I was a lifeguard for 3 summers. It always amazed me that kids would be dropped off to fend for themselves for the day…
When I had my own kids near a pool- forget it! I know exactly how you feel. In fact, once at a community pool, my daughter (a very young toddler at the time) was just getting used to the water; (aka: I had to hold her above the water) and what did I see struggling, bug-eyed in front of me in this busy kid-filled pool? A BABY! Could not have been more than one. I grabbed the baby, made sure he/she was ok- and through cough/ crying, I had my baby in one arm and a strangers’ in the other. I just circled around looking for the frantic mother and remember saying “Who’s baby is this?”. Nothing. No screaming mother, no lifeguard whistle….nothing. I had to get out if the pool and walk around to the kiddie pool and ask the same question: “Who’s baby is this?” A mother looked up from her lounge chair..”oh, there you are!” Hellllloooooo…..just grabbed your kid from the depths of the shallow end, you idiot.
I guess I was in the right place at the right time…
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Desperately Seeking Balance =-.
I know the feeling..I love the pool but it turns me into nervous wreck!! both my 4 and 3 year old have to wear floatie vests and armbands, they are practically like a walking balloons and yet I still panic, if they get deeper than past their bellies when they stand up I usher them back in just in case..
Love this post. And couldn’t agree more. Just today, I took all three of my girls to the pool. The mostly played in the large splash pool which is only a couple of feet deep, so no fear of drowning for them. But the dang thing was SO CROWDED.
My main fear (as always) was that someone could just walk off with one of them. I was walking around the water, holding my one-year-old’s hand, just TRYING to keep a visual on my other two. But, it was impossible. And it was so loud, there’s no way I could ever hear one of them calling for me. We only stayed for 30 minutes and my nerves could no longer take it.
It’s going to be a long summer.
I’m hellbent on making sure my kids are awesome swimmers like their dad so I’m learning to love the pool. But, yeah, I’m always a bit freaked out around water worried something will happen. I hate swimwear as well (who doesn’t?) and finally found a solution that makes me look cool instead of the fact that I’m hiding my “assets”. Look for board shorts and rash guards at surfwear shops–all the lifeguards wear them so it must be cool. I wear the super long board shorts, btw.
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I’ve certainly been there! It took about 8 years (between two kids) and a few hundred dollars in swimming lessons to move beyond the poolside/lakeside tensions. Then, one day, we realized our kids were fish and could swim better than we could, and relaxation beside the water become possible.
But, with teenagers we’ve discovered a new water side fear: alcohol. But we’re not there to monitor any drinking and swimming activities, so there is some bliss in our ignorance, though a tremor goes through us with every alcohol and water disater in the news.
I guess we will be our kids’ parents forever.
I agree. I hate the pool too, for the same reasons. And for the annoying people who think three (or four in my case) kids are easier to watch if you are in the pool with them. Bahahahaha. not so much. From the outside of the pool i can put my eyes on all of them at one time.
don’t worry, I am the screeching harpy at the other pool.
HATE the pool. Loathe. I thought I was alone in praying for thunderstorms. I’m not social. I’m not cool. I’m a wreck. I’m hot. I’m cursing the extra cookie (or 3) I consumed the night before. I radiate anxiety. Good times!
Stopped by from SITS. Congrats on your day – Loving your blog…
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which is why we got a swimming pool (albeit a small, above ground one) for at home. I can don my bathing suit in the privacy of my backyard, I can sit and watch them play in the water, remove the ladder to the pool when I don’t want them in there and the fridge and freezer is just chock block full of cool drinks and snacks so I’m saving money that way too.
I took my kids to the waterpark and didn’t feel like I could relax at all. I was amazed at those parents with children around the same age of my own would sit and read a book. How could you possible not worry about them leaving the area? I felt like a heel just because I was looking at one of the other kids when J fell down and scraped her leg and I missed it.
Yeah..I just like to stay home!
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You need to find a smaller, less crowded pool.
We go to a free city wading pool that’s only open during the week. The water isn’t chlorinated, which is fine by me, because chlorine dries me out, but it’s fresh water because they drain it daily and fill it with fresh water daily. The older kids mostly stay away because it’s to shallow for them, and the skinny teenager stay away because there are no boys to impress and no snack bar. And I do take a book or magazine, don’t always read it, but it seems like all the moms watch all the kids. My daughter tripped and fell and skinned her knees today and started wailing and 2 other moms got to her before I did.
Now, the beach…I love the beach, but since my son (almost 6) decided last summer that he likes to get in the water, and then won’t get OUT, I don’t touch the book. Last year, I got one of the worst sunburns of my life because he wouldn’t get out of the waves long enough for me to reapply sunscreen and I had to wait until another adult showed up to give me a chance.
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You are not alone. I am a lunatic when my kids are in the water. My son is a pretty fair swimmer after three summers of lessons. My daughter is a total boat anchor. I live in Florida and we get “child drowned in pool” headlines on a pretty regular basis. I’ve had to jump in on two occasions to get them out of a scary situation. Too many parents take water safety way too lightly. We recently had news of a two year old who drowned at a resort. The parents LEFT him in the baby pool and went swimming in the main pool with their older children. He toddled over to the hot tub, fell in and drowned. Amazing!
Love this blog as I feel the exact same way! Reading about little babies and children drowning doesn’t help but I cannot help myself!
My 3 children are grown now. Thanks to me!! lol I was the same way. Eyes always peeled, stomache in my throat! I never trusted those young lifeguards at all! At the fair, I was almost hysterical over a ride my son was on. I was sure he was going to be flung to his death!! My MIL kindly told me I needed to relax, I was pissed. My now Ex-husband was stupid enough to by our 9 yar old boy a Honda XR 100 when the boy barely wieghed 50 pounds. (I did not even let him ride his bicycle on our country road without my eagle eye and my presence there!) Fortunately I always ‘forgot’ to by gas for the dirt bike. For 8 years, until weeks before he left for Navy basic training, then I felt guilty that I had not let him ride it..
When we took trips to the Gulf of Mexico to visit my daughter who was stationed in the Navy there. Mind you, she was in the Navy, on her own for 2 years at this point. She and my son would venture into the water. PANIC mode for mommy! “Get back here closer to the shore!” “You will be swept away by a rip current!” “OMG!!” Yea. I was a mess. Now I live near the Gulf and have been in it myself. I now realize that it is shallow…Not that scary at all. My kids laugh at me now. (And I laugh about myself).
I still get hysterical about wordly dangers and my children, guess it is a Mommy thing!
@ Sherri – You know what though? You’ll never know how much your vigilance played a part in their safety. Maybe nothing bad ever happened to them but just knowing you were watching probably kept them from more risky behavior. As for when they are little … We just had headlines of two 2 years olds drowned in the backyard pool. This lady was watching her own and a friend’s little boy and left them out by the pool while she went inside to do something “for just 5 minutes”. Came back and they were drowned. Being hyper-vigilant when kids are around water is nothing to be ashamed of.
I’m new to your blog and am just now reading this but I wanted to let you know I am the exact same way when I take my kids to the pool!!! I really thought I was the only one on earth that felt this way!! I am an uptight nervous wreck the whole time, waiting for my kids heads to go under and not come up. If I lose sight of one of them, my heart starts racing and I am in panic mode! Thank you for making me feel like I’m not such a freak!!
Love your Blog!!
I can totally relate. I used to be just like that when my kids were young and not too adept at swimming. I even had a lifeguard at the pool compliment my attentiveness–it was the baby pool. The thought of leaving the lives of my little ones to a high-school-aged lifeguard scared the crap out of me. Now that they’re older (much) had have years of swimming lessons and swim team practice I can relax (and be one of those chatty/reading moms). You’ll get there one day. But, the lake and ocean? Still a wreck about those.
I too hate the pool. I allow my daughter 9 weeks of swim lessons each summer and I refuse to go to the pool any more than that. I hate all the stuff on the ground around the pool. I hate the showers and bathroom floors. I hate the two mothers with 10 kids between them who sit under the “no food or drink” sign and spread out an array of chips, fruit gummies and PB & J sandwichs and then ignore their kids while one is floating gummies in the kiddy pool and the snot faced two year old covered in peanut butter is grossing out my child. Thank God it’s over for the summer!
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I too hate swimming, but I would ask you to persevere, especially with swimmimg and life-saving lessons.
We took our daughter to lessons from about 6 months, and she loved it. She is now 20 and drives herself to swimming and keeps fit doing 50 lengths at a time!
I love the pool! My kids love the pool! I don’t ever remember not being able to swim, and my kids won’t either! That said I do watch them, and I hate parents who don’t because I know how well the lifeguard is watching them, I WAS that lifeguard, which is to say….they’re really not.
It’s even WORSE when you’ve been trained as a lifeguard and swim instructor. The beach is really hard for me to relax at and most pools are the same way. Instead of just watching my own kid, I’m watching everyone else’s too.
My sister jumped in the pool one day knocking our cousin who was in the pool on conscious. She came up floating, thank God the lifeguard saw her right away. He pulled her out and started CPR that shit was scary.
My sisters and I all have taught swim lessons and lifeguarded. I learned two things. It takes 3 full seconds before a child is actually drowning. 3 seconds is actually a long time. so sitting on deck watching your kids gives you plenty of time to get there. And two, starring straight at your kid is more ineffective than watching them dead on. Lifeguards use periferal vision to guard. I’ve saved two kids from the deck and multiple while in the pool. always, It happens because I see it out the corner of my eye.
Currently, a mom and a swim instructor, the two most effective things you can teach your kids are to backfloat and to roll onto their back. We teach our kids to roll front to back and also to jump in(simulated falling) and get to their back. Once their mouth is out of the water, they are pretty much out of danger.
The pool.. Not somewhere I like to frequent, in fact, I’ve been once since I had my son, and I donned an outfit that wouldn’t show a centimeter of baby marked skin. During that time, I threw my mother in the pool with him, and watched like a hawk over them wading in the children’s pool that is so shallow a fly wouldn’t drown in it, next thing you know, I see something brown floating in the water, I scream thinking my baby is going to die from some sort of water-borne disease. I still remember yelling to the attendant “call some sort of authorities!”
Let’s just say, the looks I got from fellow parents and swimmers were not uncalled for, the dramatic mother making a mountain out of a mole hill, waving her arms like a possessed being, yelling “get him out! Get him out!” Never the less, this psychotic queen is not going back to that pool.
Filthy little bastards.
Last summer, when my daughter was 10, was the first time I felt comfortable enough at the pool to actually read a novel. Now I have a baby and it starts all over again. 10 more years of swimming pool anxiety.
Hi, Saw you on Oprah video as commercial. Looks like fun. anyways, I go through this every year with my children, mom we want to go to the pool. My hubby usually takes them. Since having children I have about 40 extra pounds on me so donning a swimsuit makes me hurl, I can’t even buy a pair of jeans that fit me correctly let alone a swimsuit. I am a bunch of nerves myself and I get on my own nerves. Don’t do this don’t do that. I look at some of the moms reading a romance novel and their kids are tossing balls around in the pool (while their not paying attention to them), my problem is I pay too much attention and can’t relax, pools are supposed to be for relaxing right? Ugh, not for me I tell ya. Amen to your rant, I’m right there with you!!
sounds like you need a xanax
Yeah, I deprive my children of the pool because it literally makes me insane. I have 6 kids ages 8, 6, 5, 3, 1 and 4 months. None know how to swim. My oldest has ASD and ODD and a bunch of other related issues. My 2nd oldest has verbal apraxia and my 3rd oldest has encopresis. The oldest has been terrified of water since he was born and won’t even begin to learn to swim. We just don’t do pools. We don’t do the beach (and we live in Jax, FL – the beach is really the only thing entertaining for families here). Instead, we pack up and head to Disney once a month. Yes, I find Disney a trillion times less stressful than the beach or pool. My husband and I would have to each be holding 3 people in the pool each. Our kids are short and none can reach the bottom and have their head above water, even in the shallow end. So no thanks. Yes, we live in FL and people think we spend every day out at the pool working on our tans and having fun. But no, we despise the pool.
The use of “fucking” is unnecessary. I hope that’s not the profane example you are setting for your children.