It's Impossible To Get Parenting Right All The Time

As much as we don’t like to admit it and feel bad about even thinking it, parenting is hard, and quite frankly, not as much fun as I expected it to be. Don’t get me wrong: I was never expecting it to be a breeze. But somehow, I just thought I would be able to cope with certain situations better.

Being a parent is wonderful, fulfilling, and meaningful, and it has really taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. But the truth is that recently, being a parent has been quite a challenging affair and has left me feeling drained (physically and emotionally), inadequate, and with an ever-growing feeling of guilt that is hard to shake off.

There are so many challenges we face as parents that I suppose it is impossible to get it right all the time. But I want to and try my very best to.

I want to be the parent who never loses patience.

I want to be the parent who never shouts.

I want to be the parent who never feels disappointed.

I want to be the parent who doesn’t take things to heart.

I want to be the parent who is always fun.

I want to be the parent with all the answers.

I want to be the parent who always makes the right choices.

Sometimes, however, this is not the parent I am. Maybe because I can’t remember the last time I had a full night’s sleep, or because I am under a lot of stress, or because I’ve just had enough and am only hanging on by a thread — a very, very thin thread.

Here is where the guilt sets in.

I feel guilty that I hid in the bathroom to have a few minutes of quiet.

I feel guilty that I wished I had more time alone.

I feel guilty that sometimes I wish I was at work instead of being at home with the kids.

I feel guilty for losing my patience.

I feel guilty for taking things to heart.

I feel guilty for looking forward to bedtime so I can finally sit down and have a grown-up, uninterrupted conversation.

I feel guilty about having all these feelings, however fleeting, because I love my children more than anything else in this life and truly cannot imagine my life without them.

You are probably wondering why I’m telling you all this. Why would I admit to such failure? I’ll tell you why: I wanted to share this with you because guilt is a bitch, and once it creeps up on you, it can be all-consuming and leave you feeling alone, thinking, Surely no one else can possibly feel this way?

Well, you are wrong, and I was wrong too. It turns out that there is a dark side to parenting after all, and being a parent is not perfect and sweet and fun all the time.

You are not inadequate.

You are not a failure.

You are just a good parent having a bad day, week, or month, and you are not alone.