Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
It seems like everywhere I go lately, I am bombarded with inspirational messages. Facebook tells me to look at the horizon and run. Pinterest tells me to treasure the little moments. Twitter tells me that each morning is a new day and to seize it.
Well, you know what? I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of being told to run and to enjoy and to climb and to seize.
Personally, I quite like sitting on my couch for hours at a time or driving around for twenty minutes looking for the closest parking spot. I can’t help but see the dirty footprints to come when my kids stomp in the puddles, rather than the beauty of nature’s rain and I don’t need someone telling me how renewing the sunrise is.
Inspiration?
No thanks. These are more my speed…
{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }
I run for chocolate
imperfectmomma recently posted..Wait…wha?
I run to the bathroom.
Mary Anne recently posted..Planet Teenage Wasteland Has my Kid
Amen.
Marie recently posted..On RAGOM
I love these. I would post them all to Pinterest, but I gave up that site months ago due to laziness.
Kim Z Dale recently posted..Judd Nelson Made Me a Business Major
Those are the best. I love the “little miracles.” Hilarious.
I agree. I never even read the hokey messages people post because its bossy to tell me how to feel, be, etc. I’m rather happy on my couch too.
Mom Off Meth recently posted..Can’t fool me
The only thing I seize daily, is every quiet moment I could possibly get. Those little moments are overrated. Each morning may be a new day – but the same fracking things happen that day as the day before.
And this. This is why I love you.
Quote: There is no problem that sleep cannot cure. How is that for inspiration?
Autherine recently posted..Back to School Prayer and Blessing for our Children
I’m DONE with being inspired…..all it does is get my hopes up.
Gigi recently posted..Gigi’s Day Out…..
Thank fuck I’m not the only one. Every time I see one of those “BREATHE” posters I have to stifle the impulse to hold my breath until I turn blue just to be contrary. Condescending, saccharine pabulum.
katie recently posted..Stenzo!
I’m so glad you posted this. I’m coming up on my one year anniversary of not working out. For a minute I was thinking of starting up again, but you bring up some valid points, and I had a good laugh, which, to me, qualifies as a workout… that and getting up for another beer :-)
Kelly recently posted..Wal-Mart – Where Champions are Made & Life Lessons Learned
Thank you, thank you very much.
Christine recently posted..Seahorse Mixed Media Canvas
I was just surfing trying to find out information on how to get rid of my kids annoying friend. I cannot pinpoint the reason but he is just annoying. When I came across your blog and now I must get your book for the excerpts I read it was so refreshing to know I am not alone.
I have to say… I LOVE the last one and figure that most of the time my dancing is being recorded.
Jen recently posted..Playing Tennis
Hah, awesome! I much prefer the messages that say, it’s Monday, have a cupcake.
Alison recently posted..My Parenting Style Is Best Described As Flying By The Seat Of My Pants
I can handle FB and all the rest because those I just turn off or unclick or whatever. What gets me is the twerpy 20-something yoga teacher in her gazillion dollar lululemons telling me to “breathe” and “feel the light” and “let go of what does not serve me” and crap like that. Look, toots, until you’ve birthed some babies out your hoochie, picked cheezit crumbs out of your cleavage, or done the morning marathon of breakfast-lunchboxes-workclothes-out-the-door, shaddup and let me do my damn down dog on my own. Inspire my (sagging middle-aged) ass.
deborah l quinn recently posted..Tim Riggins, Buzz Bissinger, and Father’s Day
These are greatness!!! The worst inspirational message out there is the one that says” Good moms have sticky floors and dirty ovens”. Okay, so those of us who like a somewhat clean house are the shitty ones I guess? Because yep, I am going to ignore my kid for an hour a day to clean up those damn dirty footprints you were just talking about!!
Suzanne @ Fit Minded Mom recently posted..Surpisingly Good Subway Salad
I love it… Especially the last one – so true! Thank-you for making me smile this morning, is very much appreciated. x
A Write Relief… recently posted..Postnatal Depression: Couples therapy feedback… Is this good or bad?
I scan and enjoy at random.
Amanda recently posted..Akin to another rape
I’m inspired by wine, sleeping late, quiet children, and not cooking. And YOU! Love this!
I, for one, find inspirational quotes to be, yes, inspiring. yours, however, are depressing and indicative of very deep issues.
YES! Ugh, inspirational pictures/e-posters/whatever are so annoying. I hate facebook and pinterest now because there are way too many now. They don’t make me more inspired, they make me want to stab a fork in my eye.
It’s funny but actually one of the most important things you can do is learn how to sit in anger, sadness, fear, and shame. Without running away.
Not a lot of inspirational posters that say, “Sadness is awesome. Stay there and cry for a good hour!”
But you should.
Delfin Joaquin Paris III recently posted..My Knee Is Not Unique Anymore!
I know there are some other men who read this so as a PSA allow me to say that you should never look at one of the pictures of a hard bodied woman, turn to your significant other and start laughing.
Because that may be the moment the woman who doesn’t run does and when she catches you it won’t be to throw you down for a night of pleasure.
Not that I know anything about this.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..We Opened Pandora’s Box
I run win there is a ghost.
Kandice Zisk recently posted..Increase your Sexual Performance Naturally
It’s true. Those cheesy inspirational posters do nothing for me but remind me of all my failures. I am inspired by the greatness of ordinary women, women not unlike myself, who overcome the odds without wealth or pressure from impossible circumstances. Women whose lives are otherwise mundane and sweet, and can see where that’s heading when they’re 60 and empty nesting. People who see the need for improvement in the little things. God is my best friend. He sees me through the tough times and shares my joys. He provides the people and circumstances I need in my life to overcome my fears and inner voice of deprivation that I’ve grown so comfortable with other the years. He stops me from eating everything especially when I’m all alone. His music inspires me.
Ohmygoodness, too funny!
{Passing the chocolate from my couch to your’s! :)}
Galit Breen recently posted..Watching, and Seeing
Thank You. Love the little miracles! Nothing beats a quiet house, a good beer, and the TV all to yourself.
Good Enough recently posted..8 Reasons I Couldn’t Wait to Get to Work
YES!!! What IS up with all those posters?? Especially on FB. You’re right. It’s EVERYWHERE.
I have started punking all of the inspirational crap I see on FB and Pinterest:
“There comes a time when you have to walk away from the people who cause the drama in your life.” MY RESPONSE: What happens when those people are your kids?
love these posters. My favorite is the jogger. Have you ever seen a jogger with a smile on there face. Not so much. You you aren’t having fun doing it why in the heck would you be doing it.
Life is full of ups and downs and when you are raising kids, all you need to do to survive the situation is humor. With out humor you are poretty much screwed!
Smell the roses when they are sleeping, and grab that beer while you are at it, because that is most likely what you need when you have had a day like you had.
Thanks for the smile and telling it like it is.
debbie
I’ve been getting sick of all the “inspiration” on Pinterest. And Facebook is just a joke, if you look at who’s sharing all that stuff. And no one I’ve crossed paths with lately is all that inspiring. They are mostly honking their horns at each other and letting doors slam in one another’s faces. I call bullshit.
Stephanie recently posted..Revelation: Letting Go
so me every friggin one of them–thanks!
hee, these are awesome. up my alley, indeed.
wendy @ mama one to three recently posted..Fashion and Friends Highlight Land’s End Back to School Night
Love the last one!
And I’m with you – I’ve been feeling a little uninspired myself lately. And trying not to beat myself up over it.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..The Day We Forgot Lambie
I LOVE inspirational messages! When you have five kids, three that are age 5, inspiration keeps us alive and well. BUT, these are funny as HELL!!!!
I LOVE inspirational messages! When you have five kids, three that are age 5, inspiration keeps us alive and well. BUT, these are funny as HELL!!!!
Shannon recently posted..Friends With Benefits
Perfection! I would much rather sit on the couch for hours and watch tv or read a book than to go out and seize the day.
Jayme recently posted..McDonald’s Favorites Under 400 Giveaway
I am with ya! Inspirational, scmitmspirational. Who needs it?!
That said I do tend to print off all of those inspirational messages and decorate my office with them.
That is until I saw yours. THOSE are going in my office. LURVE. :)
Tiffany recently posted..Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Start Worrying and Embrace the Mommy Guilt (Sort of)
Perfect timing on this one. Just when I was feeling guilty for being happy we didn’t get invited to the upteenth toddler birthday party this summer. Or that I haven’t didn’t do enough child centered summer activities. Can’t I just be a decent (I hope) mom and still be okay? Lordy. Not everyone needs to be an overachiever ALL THE DAMN TIME! I needed your posters today. The humor is much appreciated.
I hate inspirational messages. I particularly hate finding them in places where I’m not even looking for inspiration. The ones on my sour cream or my tea bags piss me off. STFU. I just want the food!
Katie B. of HousewifeHowTos.com recently posted..Recipe: Homemade Taco Seasoning Mix
Oh, you think too much like me.
Instant love today, just like it was 2.5 years ago: perfect mind meld.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Death By Skeleton Key
GIRL I have been saying that for months. When did 2012 become “the year everyone tries to change and improve everyone else?” SO ANNOYING! I’m so tired of being lifted up. Someone break me down! OK, not really.
Love the last one especially. Anti-inspirer-ers UNITE!
Alex@LateEnough recently posted..Kites And My Favorite Photos Of Summer
Hi, Jill! Im from Poland and i’m reading your book (published in Poland few days ago) right now. OMG, i’m dying, it’s soooooooooo funny!!!!! I have to read your blog, i’ll start tomorrow! :D
Greetings!
They’re even hitting up preschoolers with those messages. At my son’s school, a sign hanging from a classroom doorway reads, “Shhh. We’re listening to our thoughts.”
To funny I try and be inspired, but there are just times I am happy to put the potato on the couch.. :)
I love this! A while back, I responded to a wonderful, heartfelt posting from “Good News, Good Deeds” in a similar fashion. I called it: “Don’t Give Up. Ever. Unless You’re a Stalker or Planning Something Along Those Lines.” Because, really, telling people to never give up can mark you as an accessory in a lot of circumstances.
Kristin recently posted..What a Relief! My daughter is not American Psycho material.
This is too funny, because I actually posted that first one and someone commented, “The best part of that image is the large bug at the top.” LOL For me, it depends on the day whether or not I dig any of the inspirational stuff. Today, I just wanted to gouge everyone’s eyeballs out with a spoon. Nothing inspired me today. Not even the little eCards that have flappers and golfers doing weird shit next to raw sayings. :)
Crystal Ponti recently posted..Daddy’s Back-to-Work, It’s Chick Time!
I am sure the person facing cancer would understand how inspiring looking up at the sky is, and regret all those times they chose to sit infront of the television instead of experiencing what living really is. I’m thankful for the honky posts that remind me to be thankful for every moment I get. A care bear stare is in order for such a bitter perspective.
I don’t like it when everyone is Miss Mary Sunshine Fake and positive. Drives me bonkers. Glad you said it out loud!
Regina recently posted..Butterfly Footprint
My ex-husband was one of those naturally happy people. I never thought I’d see the day, but when I see him on FB, he annoys the crap out of me. All upper case letters and exclamation points. Happy, happy, happy! It can’t possibly be normal.
June O’Hara recently posted..Sand-blast Through My Window
I love this! It is too true.
Summer recently posted..Mommy Guilt
Love love love these! I prefer to hang out on my couch too. You’re not alone!
Motherhood on the Rocks recently posted..A THOUSAND WORDS
Thanks you for writing what I was thinking. Love it! I sometimes think of it all as evangelical inspiration and want to yell keep thy inspiration to thyself. ;)
I miss you
Rachel – A Southern Fairytale recently posted..Peanut Butter Stuffed French Toast
I love this.
Jess recently posted..Bathroom Remodel
There’s only one thing better than this post – and that’s the a$$holes getting their panties in a twist about it. Classic.
I love these posts. Because I think they are hilarious. And I agree I do feel like we are surrounded by uplifting quotes and pictures all day long. Unfortunately my personality will allow for me to sit in front of the couch for hours and ignore the 3 screaming children completely.So sometimes I need that motivation….obviously not constantly pounding me in the face, but you get my point
LOL, Jill! I love you, because you always tell it like it is. Admittedly, I can be one of those “sunny” people – it’s good to be reminded how annoying that can be. :)
Lynn Kellan recently posted..Write this for me
Perfect!
Rose recently posted..Kim Kardashian Impressive Physique
LOVE yours!!! Can you start having inspirational seminars?? :)
Jane recently posted..Sunday Stamps # 84
When I see the cutesy vinyl cutout that says “RAGNAR 2012″ on the back of a Subaru, I dream of the day I cut out my own that says “COUCHNAR 2012″.
Well, being that I lost my beloved sister earlier this year, I know what those inspirational msgs really mean these days… At least it affects me more than they’ve ever had now. My life has really slowed down these past few months but I hope to find new direction soon.
Skye Diaz recently posted..half year later…
The last one? With the shoes? Is hilarious.
Carrie recently posted..The 21st of August
Totally agree! I am glad I woke up, of course, but I would much rather sleep a few more hours! You people acting perfect posting, “Today is a new day! Seize it!” etc.. Please stop and take a valium. You annoy the rest of us. We also know you are faking. Hush.
OMG love love love. Just like I love some-e-cards stuff. Things like a happy picture of a lady on the phone with the caption, “This is by far your most eff-ed up idea yet. I’ll be over in 10 minutes.”
Aimee recently posted.."Maine Answers Tough Times"…. at the library
Balance is good!
Corey Feldman recently posted..Part 2 – Egret and Red: the later years
I like the inspiring stuff, but I like these too. It’s good to be well-rounded!
Just Jennifer recently posted..Jenni’s Got a Gun
These are great. So true! The strangest thing about inspirational posts are the people who post them. I find that some of my most cynical friends are the ones who are guilty of posting the sappiest messages. Worse are those “Repost if you really care about kids with cancer, want to help orphaned puppies, or wish for a cure for dreaded nosebleeds – I know most of you wont post this” Facebook shares. Yuk!
Kristen Brakeman recently posted..Collagen Lips: Don’t Let the Duck-Faced Women Win
Ugh, damn right! Everytime I see one of my friend post that crap I just want to drive right up to their house, knock on the door and punch them in the face. I have one particular friend who is an over the top New Ager who posts that kind of crap constantly. Life is beautiful blah blah blah. My child’s not naughty she’s an astral being come to teach us the way blah blah blah. How can she think it’s so wondrous when she believes the government is controlling our minds and fertility through chem-trails and TV broastcasts? Not to mention the underground nuclear testing that’s causing all these natural disasters.
The Cheeky Kea recently posted..Time to stop being lazy!!
I 100% agree!
myevil3yearold recently posted..Motorhomes & A-Holes… Oh my!
Now THAT’S inspiration. Right on.
Denise Malloy recently posted..A Real Mother: stumbling through motherhood – FREE TODAY
I am so inspired right now. It’s good to take life easy.
Maryberth Cameron recently posted..Max Workouts Exposed
Let’s here it for the lazies! lol.
I’m all about these stupendously awesome quotes… but another terrific reason to run is to keep the fat monsters from attacking you.
Kesha of We Got Kidz recently posted..“Those Kids Today”: Today’s Kids Compared To 80′s Kids [Infographic]
Oh boy, I totally agree with your running and dancing quotes! If you can give me one way that running will help me appreciate life, I will consider taking a snail’s-pace walk. Otherwise, no way!
Cassie recently posted..Potty Training Tips
Now that’s funny stuff! I think I’m feeling inspired!
Lucille Williams recently posted..Bitter Motherhood: Finding Contentment Being A Mom
Honest and true! Love this! I think I am inspired!
Lucille Williams recently posted..Bitter Motherhood: Finding Contentment Being A Mom