Ivanka Trump HQ has some tips for the perfect Thanksgiving centerpiece
The Ivanka Trump team over at Ivanka Trump HQ (You know, that company Ivanka Trump herself supposedly now has nothing to do with? Sure, Jan.) went ahead and provided the internet with plenty of Thanksgiving fodder with their latest tweet.
With Turkey Day being less than a week away, most people who are hosting the holiday might be scratching their heads and agonizing over the perfect tablescape. You know, as we plebs are wont to do. Well have no fear, Ivanka Trump HQ is here to offer the world’s most hideous eyesore as a suggestion for setting the perfect Thanksgiving tone:
— Ivanka Trump HQ (@IvankaTrumpHQ) November 16, 2017
See? PROBLEM SOLVED! Just set your family around a massive pile of oceanic-themed compost that takes up the entire table!
Naturally, Twitter had a field day.
DEAD. I am dead.
Ah yes, who could forget that timeless motif of "something a goblin barfed up after eating the entire Pumpkin Village in a fairytale illustrating the hazards of gluttony"
Ah yes, who could forget that timeless motif of "something a goblin barfed up after eating the entire Pumpkin Village in a fairytale illustrating the hazards of gluttony"— J Crowley (@jdcrowley) November 18, 2017
This is an amazing take.
It's Thanksgiving kids, get the clam out of storage
It's Thanksgiving kids, get the clam out of storage— Antifa-la-la-la-la (@LizardRumsfeld) November 18, 2017
BRB, peeing my pants.
Yeah, what’s that about? I’d rather sit at the kid’s table, so long as it too isn’t ensconced inside the jaw bones of a whale.
Now there’s something for our collective nightmare repository.
This isn’t the first time Ivanka Trump HQ has hijacked a holiday and put a tone-deaf spin on “ideas” for people to try. Earlier this year the company put forth a list of Father’s Day gift ideas that were just plain ol’ terrible gift options overall, and of course Twitter delivered on those reactions too.
As for the Thanksgiving treasure trove that could easily double as something found in the lair of Ursula the sea witch, it’s probably safe to assume most “regular folk” will take a hard pass. But Ivanka’s interior designer wants us to know the Giant Clam Of Doom is versatile!
“When it’s time for Christmas or Hanukkah, you can switch out the pumpkins for another accent. Last year, I filled the entire clam shell with tiny pink and turquoise ornaments.”
Oh and those plates that barely have room in the place setting? They’re made by Parisian company Astier, and they cost around $120. PER PLATE. Last year my family ate Thanksgiving dinner on Costco paper plates that had fall leaves on them. So yeah, these types of blog posts don’t exactly speak to middle and working class America, no matter how hard the Trumps try to pretend they do.
But what these blog posts do manage to succeed in is making it blatantly clear that money can’t buy taste. BOOM.