Parenting

You Sound Like An As*hole. Just sayin'.

by Toni Hammer
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Look. I get it. You’re scrolling through your newsfeed or you’re reading an article. You disagree with something someone said. Like a lot. You really disagree with this person. You disagree with them so much that you feel compelled to write something in response to this thing this person said. You type and delete, type and delete, until it’s perfect. Then in an attempted effort to not come off as a complete asshole, you add at the end, “Just sayin’.”

Cringe.

Let me explain something to you.

Adding “just sayin’” to the end of your statement makes you sound like a rude, condescending, immature asshat. It completely invalidates everything you said before those two tiny words. You could have the most well-thought-out, most researched, most articulate argument to have ever been penned, but if you add “just sayin’” at the end, the only thing anyone will remember is what a jerk you were.

Here’s the problem with “just sayin’.” You’re not just saying anything. What you’re attempting to do is deflect. You know that what you said or what you wrote isn’t the nicest thing to have been put out into the world. You know that your opinion can ruffle some feathers. You know that your comment can be seen as antagonistic, and you simply don’t care.

You care about other people’s opinions just enough to add “just sayin’” at the end as a way to explain that, y’know, it’s just your thoughts on the matter and everyone can do with it what they want, but in the end you’re right and whomever you’re responding to was a dipshit.

That, my friend, is what you are just saying. And it seems that this little trend has taken over, and now everyone is using this stupid little phrase to attempt to excuse their rudeness, and it isn’t cute — at all.

So here are some ideas as to how you can stop using “just sayin'”:

1. Don’t be mean.

You’re smart. You know when you’re being mean versus when you’re being thoughtful. Don’t be mean. No one likes mean people. Mean people grow old and die alone because no one wants to be near them. Don’t be mean. If you’re not mean in your comments you won’t have a reason to add “just sayin’.”

2. Think before you type.

Really, think about it. Do you need to note every wrong thing the person said, point by point, in order to make your argument clear, or can you just focus on one thing? Do you need to attack their personal life, or can you just stick to the content they wrote? Do you really know what they’re like, or are you just assuming everything about them based on a few paragraphs? Stick to the facts.

3. Don’t say anything.

I know it’s hard to believe in this day and age, but it is entirely possible to read something you disagree with, and then move on with your day. Go clean your house. Go for a run. Go call your mom if you really feel the need to get your disagreements off your chest, but you don’t have to put it out into the interwebs. I know you think you do, but you don’t. Just walk away.

Can we all agree to stop using the phrase “just sayin’”? Can we make it obsolete like the dinosaurs or Delia’s catalogs? If you feel compelled to add that phrase to the end of your comment, then can you please rethink what you said? Chances are if you’re just sayin’ something, you need to stop just saying it and go take a hike. I’m just saying.